Helping Preschooler Understand Arrival/caring for a Newborn Sibling

My oldest daughter was 20 months when we brought home her sister. She did great! We just had to watch her like a hawk so she didn't love her little sister TOO much - she LOVED giving her big hugs and smothering kisses :)

It's not like your daughter's going to be doing the diapering or holding the new baby unattended, right? So, just take it moment by moment. Keep reminding her that the baby is very small and we need to be very gentle. You can have her practice on a doll, but only time and practice will make her *truly* understand.

When I brought my baby home for the first time, my 4 and 5 year old at the time knew that their little brother was on his way! I always told my girls that I was very proud of them and that I was gonna have 3 angels to love. I let them know that they could help me but that the baby was gonna be tiny and was gonna always be with me. They got it for the most part and never seemed to get upset or felt left out. I let them know that they could help me by bringing diapers and wipes and I would have the girls lay a blanket on the floor so I could change the baby instead of the changing table so they could see how it was done. I had them bring me clothes and help get the bath items ready. So it went well. Just talk to your daughter and let her know that you love her tremendously and that she is going to make for a wonderful big sister to the baby. Good Luck!!!

Once the baby's here, she'll learn quickly. The most important detail is to make sure your approach is gentle & non-disciplinary. Make it fun, make it a joy to help....& your DD will follow along.

She can help bring you bottles, pacifiers, nail clippers, washcloths, blankies, toys, onesies, snacks for mom, putting diapers in the trash... The doll is a great idea. Of course, she wont be able to help with diapering, or holding on her own, but it will help her see that mommy and daddy will need help gathering the tools to diaper and how important it is to let mommy hold the baby.

Ask the hospital if they also do a tour during the class. If so, then make it convenient for you. My son was 4 when his brother was born and the Super Sibling class was 2 hours long! They had 6 kids and moms there. He was the youngest - they talked about when the baby would come (around the room as introductions and what gender they were expecting..he was the only one who didn't know because we didn't know). They all got to hold a doll that they use there that weighs 7 pounds and moves - arms, legs and neck so that they can see what it is like to hold a newborn, sort of. They did a coloring book on infant safety and my son is the master on what is a choking hazzard and how to keep his brother safe. Finally, they did a tour of the maternity ward and nursery. It was awesome since even though our baby didn't come for almost 2 months he remembered the location and was excited to show his grandma where to go. He points out the hospital all the time when we pass and he has been an amazing big brother. I think the class really gave him a great foundation!

C.