Helping a Friend Potty Train

Our daughter had this same fear. What worked, and this sounds goofy, was to make fun of the toilet. Went to one and did a funny routine along the lines of, "Are you a mean potty? I hope you're not so loud. We hate loud ones." I would hit the toilet seat, look at the whole thing funny and say, "Well, it's pretty quiet, isn't it? Let's give it a try." (then thoroughly wash my hands, yuck) I honestly think my goofy routine stunned our daughter. She laughed and since that time hasn't had issues preventing her from using toilets outside our house. She still hates the self-flushing ones, but the terrified fear is over.

i suggest that she take him to asmany bathrooms as she can over and over again he will evtually get use t it good luck and 4 children and 7 grandchildren A. no hills

I hate those self flushing toilets too! Drape a piece of paper over the sensor and it will not flush until you're ready. I agree that your friend should explain that only the toilets with the sensor will do that and explain that you can stop the sensor by covering it. Hope this helps!

Hi K., it is great you are helping your friend. Unfortunatly your friend validated her son's fear by putting a pullup on him, instead of making him sit on the toilet, and see nothing bad happened. The key to get him over this fear is put him on public and grandmas toilet, and when nothing bad happpens, he should no longer to be afraid. J.

She could show him the sensor, explain that that's the thing that makes the toilet flush, and show him how to stick a square of TP over the sensor eye. If it's not possible to drape the toilet paper over a horizontal support, a little dab of lip gloss, or even spit, will usually do the trick.

Once he's empowered to "tame the monster," he'll probably feel less anxious, maybe even a little giddy with power. While the explanation can start with a simple discussion, or maybe a little sketch at home, the actual conquering of his fears may have to start with the self-flushing toilet in a public stall, so he can see the gadget that initiated his worries, and physically apply the solution.

Added: Adult attitude is important. While I strongly disagree with forcing a little kid to face his fears by overpowering him physically if some gentler approach will work as well, I love the first mom's suggestion. This mental/emotional empowerment gives a child a greater range of possible choices in handling all sorts of future situations.