Helping a Child Focus?? Ideas??

Updated on November 12, 2014
L.O. asks from Sterling Heights, MI
16 answers

my daughter is a very happy 8 year old.. happy but sometimes a bit dreamy... now that she is in 3rd grade and the expectations are higher... her happy dreamy self.. is not doing so good focusing on the work.

Her teacher commented on the report card we just got... L is easily distracted and often unfocused..

She has never got a good grade on staying focused on the task at hand.. but this report card gave her a P- ...

any tips or tricks to help my girl focus... she is not overly energetic... and she can focus..(I don't think she is anywhere near ADD)

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So What Happened?

so tonight was parent teacher conferences... the teacher said directly to take her to the pediatrician and ask the dr what to do.. (I know the only thing the pediatrician can do is prescribe drugs).. I am not opposed to drugs.. they do help many people and I may try drugs.. but maturity plays a part in the lack of focus too.. my daughter is very 8... not 8 going on 18.. she thinks like an 8 year old and is happy playing pretend.. Her annual check up is soon.. and I will ask the dr.. I know about the checklist for add diagnoses..

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Inattentive-type ADD is just like what you just described. There are different kinds of ADD/ADHD. An abundance of energy is not one of the inattentive-type issues.

An evaluation is in order. I'm not saying she has I-ADD, I'm saying you need to know one way or the other before you will know how best to help her.

Also get her hearing and eye exams. My firstborn's sight diminished so gradually that he didn't realize he wasn't seeing normally until it got noticeably poor. He was 8/9 years old.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

ADHD in girls often goes undiagnosed because it's brushed off as daydreaming. Definitely get her in with a child psychiatrist for an assessment. She very well could have ADHD-inattentive type. People with ADHD aren't unfocused 100% of the time. If they're interested in a task, they can even hyperfocus.

4 moms found this helpful

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

As the mother of such a child myself, I would caution you that she may very well have ADHD.

There are three kinds of ADHD. First is ADHD - Inattentive. This type is NOT hyperactive; rather, they just have trouble focusing. They are often labeled as "daydreamers" and are often times girls. Sometimes they aren't ever diagnosed because they're just considered not to be good students. Because they aren't causing a problem in class, nobody notices the ADHD, and they never get help. Third grade is often when it becomes impossible for these kids to cope with the increasingly demanding schoolwork (up until that point, these highly intelligent kids can get by on sheer smarts without ever having to pay attention in class).

The second type is ADHD - Hyperactive. These is what everyone thinks of when they heard about ADHD. It's the kid who is bouncing off the walls, running around crazy, talking a mile a minute.

The third type is ADHD - Combined. This combines all the aspects of hyperactivity and inattention. (My youngest has this type, and it's a doozy - on the bright side, she was easily diagnosed!)

Your daughter could well be ADHD - Inattentive. It's certainly worth taking her in to a good pediatric psychiatrist to have her tested. Please note that this is not a psychiatric disorder (even though that's the specialist who diagnoses it). It's a physical brain wiring issue. Many people with ADHD are considered doubly gifted - in other words, they have ADHD, but are also highly intelligent and/or creative. (Albert Einstein was a classic case.) These kids often don't fit well with the style of schooling that we have in the US. They often do really well within a Waldorf or Montessori model, where their individual abilities are celebrated.

Best of luck!

7 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

First of all not everyone ADHD is actually hyper. My older daughter is just straight up distracted. The level of distracted to get the teacher's attention is actually quite severe. All kids get distracted, ya know, your daughter is so distracted it is effecting her ability to learn so it made it to her report card.

I am not saying your daughter is ADHD or you should run out an get her on meds, just don't rule it out because she can sit in a seat.

My older daughter was very successful in school on the lowest dose possible until she was in fourth grade. By then she could control her destractibility without the meds. If she hadn't acquired those skills on her own I doubt she would have been the student she was.

Gah, I keep wanting to edit this. Please do not think I am trying to diagnose. I hate when people do that. Just consider it if for no other reason than there are a lot of books that have coping techniques for people with ADHD. Sadly at 46 I have found the only one for your attention span is literally forcing yourself to pay attention. I have a career I love, that keeps me engaged, I will never give this up because I could not do most jobs. I would constantly be telling myself, back on task, back on task. I can do very physical jobs well and very mental jobs well, nothing in between. My kids are the same way.

Just because you can force yourself to stay on task doesn't mean it ever becomes easy or normal. I was asked by a doctor friend to justify my use of Adderall when I can in fact function without it. Simply put, it improves my quality of life. Apparently that is a good enough reason.

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

My son had a hard time focusing some times. When we practiced his spelling words when he was about 7 we would toss a ball back and forth to each other while he was practicing. We'd do this while quizzing on addition and subtraction and later on multiplication. This really seemed to help.

M

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I would take to the doctor to be evaluated for ADD. Even if she is borderline ADD the doctor will have a laundry list of questions about diet, activity level, electronics time, etc. to help with out medication

Talk to the teacher about sitting front and center in the room. Closer to the teacher works best.

P.S. ADD kids Can focus, better than most of us, but only on things that they are interested in.

4 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Make sure she has a current eyes and ears test. In about 3rd grade its was determined I needed glasses. I had no idea people could read the chalk board and overhead.

I also did better sitting closer to the front of the class, because then I was right under the teachers direction. I had to focus on her.

Make sure your daughter has a chance for active play time after school and on weekends. She just sounds like a child that may be day dreaming, she may do better standing up, she becomes bored sitting for long periods of time and her focus falls away.

On our daughters elementary school, some of the classrooms have the exercise balls for some of the students to use as chairs. Some students do better learning by standing. So ther are some taller desks for those students. I now see these standing desks in some if the offices at the company I work with.

3 moms found this helpful

C.B.

answers from Reno on

My son was same way in 3rd grade. I finally talked to counselor about ADD and she actually suggested a more advanced eye test. Holy crud, he was farsighted and his eyes did not work together. He now has glasses and is in vision therapy. We just got his report card and he went from a c student to a's and b's.
My son got his eyes checked yearly but never thought to go to a specialist.
I am not saying this is your daughters issue but it was mine sons.
Many blessings

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

We've never had my daughter evaluated for ADD because her issues haven't interfered with her school work, but she scores high on all the inattentive ADD tests online. She's your daughter to a T.

At home we help her by writing things out one step at a time. She's actually taken an interest in cooking lately (she's 11) and it's helped because she has to follow the recipe.

If her focus issues were impacting her school or social life we would consider medicine, but since they aren't we don't. If we were in your shoes she would be going in for an evaluation asap.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Ask the teacher to consider moving her where she faces a blank wall instead of other kids, a window, or any pictures/posters on the walls. She might do really well sitting by the teachers desk too.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Exercise, physical activity, every day. Outside whenever possible. It changes how our brains work.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

I saw a study about kids who rode exercise bikes during class and then they tested their brain activity or cognitive skills (it was a while ago, so I don't remember exactly). Amazing results. Get her some exercise every day if she isn't already doing it. If she is, increase the amount and variety.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

No tips but my daughter was easily distracted and a daydreamer too. She outgrew it and started doing really well (honor roll) once she went to high school. My daughter told me prior to HS she really just didn't care about grades.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I would ask to have her moved to the front of the class. Much harder to daydream when the teacher is 10 feet from you! :)

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F.B.

answers from New York on

speak with the teacher and the school guidance counselor for a start. They might have some tricks and techniques.

Best,
F. B.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

My daughter can be that way at times. If the subject is something she likes, you can be on an A. If not, well there might be a fight.

For my daughter, I just get her hyped up on, you can do it, just think about it, look at it, watch me break it down, etc.

So we worked on multiplication today. She doesn't have the majority of them memorized. Together, we worked on 1s - 6s. Some of them she had to figure out and some I showed her the tricks I know to figure them out quickly. Since she knows the concept, I don't mind showing her the tricks.

I always tell her she can do anything if she just slows down and focus' on what she is doing. My daughter is little more on the energetic side.

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