Helping a 6-Year-old Stay Dry at Night?

Updated on August 18, 2011
C.A. asks from Grand Rapids, MI
15 answers

My 6 year old daughter was pretty stubborn and waited a LONG time to potty train. Everything now is fine during the day, but she still wakes up every morning with her pull-up soaked. I honestly think she's just not waking up enough to get up and go. I've tried getting her up to pee before I go to bed, but it didn't seem to help. Is there ANYTHING we can do to help her stay dry at night? (without going cold turkey, washing a zillion sheets and thoroughly embarrassing her?)

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

There's nothing you can do to cause a child to sleep dry until their body is ready to do that. A percentage of kids are going to wet at night. My daughter wet less and less frequently until she was eight.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

A fairly large percentage of children simply don't reach the necessary physical maturation to stay dry at night until well into their grade school years. Some don't get there, at least not reliably, until adolescence. It's not something they choose to do intentionally, and in fact many of those kids would give their big toe to be able to stay dry at night. But there's a combination of reduced nocturnal urine production, bladder capacity and sphincter lock, and depth of sleep cycles that will finally come together and allow your daughter to wake up dry.

A very few parents on this site have said that the bed-wetting alarms that you can attach to pajamas have helped their children learn to wake up and use the bathroom when they begin to wet the bed. Other families have reported that the alarm made no difference.

One very knowledgeable mom has suggested giving additional liquids before bed, which could conceivably fill up the bladder enough to give a wake-up signal during one of the several light-sleep cycles that occur through the night.

Wish I could give you more a more hopeful report. But she will probably just need however much time it takes for night dryness to arrive.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Night time dryness... is not something BIOLOGICALLY attained, until even 7 years old, and is normal and per Pediatricians.

And some kids are later.

Night time dryness is separate, from daytime toileting.

Pull-ups, are USELESS for night time... because it does not hold much and it leaks.
Use a night time, diaper.

ALSO, get a few waterproof bed pads, to put directly UNDER her.
I have 4 of them, for my kids.
Yes, I still use them because in case of accidents. My son is 5 and still in night time diapers.
My daughter is 8... but even at 7 years old, had accidents at night.

For my son, once a night, I change his night time diaper. Otherwise, it gets too full, and might leak. So I change his diaper once a night. Just in case.
Bear in mind, that per the age of the child, they simply have more pee quantity. Not baby sized pee amounts.

With the waterproof bed pads... the sheets/bedding did NOT get soiled. I just change out and rotate the bed pads.

Night time wetness, is involuntary. It is a physiological, development. And the maturity of the internal organs.... the bladder/brain and nerve development.

I simply explained to my kids, that their BODY, is not ready to be dry at night. NO big deal.

Put this way: ALL of my daughter's Teachers, from Preschool to Kindergarten to 1st Grade... ALL said that kids these ages have accidents at night and still wear diapers. Biologically. BUT the parents will not admit, to that.
But this is normal.
Kids have accidents and their organ maturity, varies.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wetting the bed at night can be hereditary. I know one family that has four generations of wetting the bed until they were almost teenagers. Did you or your husband wet the bed? Did either of your parents wet the bed?

Good luck to you and yours.

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K.M.

answers from Boston on

stop her liquids at least 1 and 1/2 hours before bed time. my son goes to bed at 8 and we stop his liquids at about 630 or so. It has worked for us so far. he also doesnt wear a pull up because i used to think he would become lazy if he wore one. good luck!

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

This may go on for years. The more she can take responsibility for it, the better. The less it is an emotional issue or a power struggle with you, the better. Your sympathy will be more helpful than being angry. I went thru this with 2 of my 4 daughters, and today they are a successful doctor and an MBA recipient. They weren't totally through it till early puberty. Their dad and his sibs had this too. I know it stinks, literally and figuratively. My oldest dtr's first 2 children also did this and guess who got to take care of them a lot while she was studying to be a doctor? Me!

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

Wow, I'm sorry but 6.. That's a little extreme. Maybe try talking with her pediatrician. I mean, 3, MAYBE 4... And that's a big maybe, but 6.. Isn't she in school? I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but bedwetting, for kids around 5 or 6 and over is not normal.. I say ask the pediatrician for advice.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

no.. my duaghter is almost 6 and wears a pull up every night and wets every night.. my son is 4 and is dry at night.. never wet..

her brain is not sensing that her bladder is full and she needs to get up to go potty.. you cannot teach her this.. it is not bad behaviour. when her brain is ready it will wake her up..

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It could just be a physiological development thing. Some kids jst aren't developed to hold it all night until they're older--5, 6, 7 or 8 even, sometimes later.
Just do what you can to make it easy on everyone involved...pull up, pad under the sheet to protect the mattress, etc.

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A.S.

answers from Wichita on

This is just something that happens. Of course protect the bed, but I wouldn't use the pull ups. She needs to learn to be aware of her body and pull ups allow her to completely forget about it. Don't make a big fuss, but don't allow the crutch of pull ups. (It's also cheaper to buy several sets of sheets and wash than pull ups.) You might try getting her up twice or more (I know it means less sleep for you). Does she go frequently during the day? Has she ever been dry all night? Her bladder might just be too small. If she does go frequently during the day you might try stretching the potty breaks out a bit. Is there a way to make her aware when she wets? When my daughter was little she had a toddler bed with the plastic covered mattress. The first time she woke up cold she started crying and never wet again. With my son we had to wake him once during the night for several weeks. It took a while, but soon there were no more wet beds in the house. It's about her learning to control her body. Some kids just pick it up as faster than others. It's not fun, but she will grow out of it. Hang in there!

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

I would talk to your pediatrician and see what they say. My oldest stopped wetting around 5 and now my 3 year old is starting to get up on her own at night. My 5 year old is still having problems. When my 11 year old was 6 my pediatrician put him on a medication that really helped, but doesn't work for everyone. Every child develops at different rates. Like others said it is not being lazy but their body not being ready. I know this doesn't really help but just know there are others out there with the same problem.

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B.P.

answers from Kalamazoo on

This is totally up to you (who has to deal with the effects) and your daughter (how traumatic this is for her). I know quite a few kids who were not dry until they were 8 or so. There are three options: medication, alarms, or waiting. If you think you might want to pursue one of the first two options, talk to your pediatrician and do your research. In our house it is normal to be wet at night until about 8 years old. I didn't want to put the kids on medicine for something they would grow out of and the alarms didn't seem worth the hassle. It depends a lot on how much they do sleepovers (which mine didn't at 6 years old).

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi! Make sure she is going to the bathroom every two hours during the day. That will be hard, with school starting, but at 6 yo you may be able to let the teacher know she has to use the restroom every two hours, and get away with it. She doesn't have to know you talked to the teacher, the teacher can probably figure out some way to let her know to use the restroom without embarrassing her in front of the other kids.

Also, stop her drinks at night at least an hour before bedtime.

Those two things should help greatly.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids were all bedwetters til 6, 8 and 12. My 8 year old still wets. We;ve tried everything. Just be patient, she will quit eventually. Pull ups really help

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Why wash sheets? Use an overnight pull up, if that is not working then add some padding like an overnight Kotex...something really absorbent.

I know our overnight pullups work really well, Huggies in the dark burgundy with Disney princesses and the dark blue ones with Buss Lightyear on them. We do have an occasional spill over but it's usually just the jammies that are damp.

You can always but piddle pads for pets at petco or even walmart has some. Keeping bed linens dry is a priority here because my time is worth more than doing 2-3 extra loads of laundry every day.

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