Helping 2 Year Old Cope with Newborn

Updated on June 21, 2008
K.C. asks from Euless, TX
6 answers

My 2 year old is having trouble adjusting to the arrival of her baby sister. She loves to "play" with the baby but doesn't like to share mommy with her and is very emotional - will be happy one minute then very upset the next. We tried to prepare her - she got a new Baby Alive, and we talked a lot about the baby coming. I also try to spend time alone just with her, so she sees it's not all just about the new baby. Any advice on how to help her through this tough time and any advice or good books on how to prevent sibling rivalry?? Thank you!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you for all your wonderful responses - it is reassuring to know that this stage will pass in time, just need patience and a schedule for her. This site is so great - I could not make it through this (two kids now and no family close by) without it!! Thanks so much!!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.F.

answers from Dallas on

not sure if she is old enough for this to work.....my oldest was almost 3 when baby brother came along. since infants naturally squeeze things w/ their fingers, we told our oldest to stick out his finger. when he did this, the infant squeezed his finger. and (as planned) everyone in the room reacted "oh my" "wow"....we told the oldest that when the infant squeezed his finger, it meant that he loved him and that it was special that the infant was "giving him hugs and saying that he loves his older brother.".... also, when the infant is crying (and doesn't need immediate attention) and you are doing something w/ the oldest, say out loud "just a minute (infant's name), mommy is doing something with big sister right now." wait a few secs, then get the infant....just hearing this will let the oldest know that she is still important and that you won't going running everytime the baby fusses. good luck!!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K., I just went through this a few months ago, it does get easier. Just hang in there! I think the thing that helped me most was having family and friends visit my home. I could nurse and take care of the baby, and my family and friends played with my 19 month old. It was very helpful. Taking care of a newborn is so time consuming, but taking care of a newborn and toddler can be very overwhelming. My daughter was also was very emotional and upset about sharing me. Now my newborn is 4 months old, and my 2 yr old is always smothering him with hugs and kisses.
As far as books go, I really enjoyed " The Happiest Toddler on the Block". There is a chapter about siblings in this book.
Sorry that I cannot give you more advice, it sounds like you are trying alot of the things we did. Just know that it does get easier with time... and prayer. Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I was just going through the same thing 2 mos. ago. My pediatrician told me that it would take about 6 weeks for my son to get used to everything and she was about right. He is so much better than he way when she first was born. We still had him at his preschool and it seemed like everyday for about 2 or 3 weeks, he was getting in trouble; biting, hitting, etc. He has done a complete 360. Although he still has his moments, but I think his little fits are more of let me see how far I can go with this type thing. (testing his limits) Just know that it will get better with time. It's a whole new adjustment for them, I know for my son, our house revolved around him. I guess we didn't realize it until his little sister came, and now it's trying to revolve around 2 little ones. (She is already in competition with him)
Good luck with everything and congratulations.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.K.

answers from Dallas on

I think that the best advice that I can give is to have patience and just remember that her whole world just got turned upside down! She has been the center of your world for 2 years and it takes time to adjust. My 4 year old is still trying to adjust and it has been 17 months. It is much better (thank goodness since I am now pregnant with #3!) but there are still moments of jealousy where he doesn't want to share attention from Mom, Dad or his Grammy. It is hard for them. But it does get MUCH better, especially when the baby starts doing more than just eating, sleeping and crying!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.W.

answers from Dallas on

My kids are 23 months apart, and I remember feeling the same way when my son was born. Having family and friends visit is definately helpful - and a good distraction for your oldest. As you get more into a routine, it will be easier to plan your day out around naps. One thing I did was make sure to do something one on one with my daughter every day while my son was napping or being watched by my husband or someone else. That helped her a little because she did not feel like she was totally pushed aside. Sometimes we went places, but sometimes it was as simple as allowing her to help me make some cookies or whatever you like to do. It really helped her feel important. I have read tons of places that it is also good to read a story to the older child while you are feeding the baby. That may help include your daughter too. Good luck and hang in there - they adjust fairly quick to having a new sibling.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.O.

answers from Dallas on

A friend of mine explained siblings to me in this hilarious way.

You have one husband (child) and he makes you so happy and you would like to have another husband (child) a few years later so they can grow up together and be best friends. When you look at it that way, it is really a wonder that there aren't more children highly upset at the new addition/replacement. It was especially hilarious to me since I have SEVEN children... who at some time in their life have wished they had been an only child.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches