Helping 2 Month Old Learn Eventually to Fall Asleep on His Own...

I ended up rocking or holding my daughter until she was about 7 months old. Then we started a bed time routine and let her fall asleep on her own... the first few nites were ROUGH!! I hated to hear her cry, but she very quickly started falling asleep on her own. Now she loves to be put to bed and rarely fusses, she just drifts off in her crib...its great!
I think I could have done it a bit earlier like 5 or 6 months, but I also sort of liked the snuggle time each night. However, my sis-in-law went the opposite way- not wanting to hold or rock her 6 week old to sleep- it was shocking really- I think they are too small at that age to do that. On vacation together I really had a hard time - when they are so little I just hate to hear them scream!! Needless to say I held my tongue- we all know how Moms feel about unsolicited advice.

I would continue to rock and maybe get a routine that works for you (bath, lotion rub, sing a song...etc...) until about 5 or 6 months, then start allowing the baby to learn to fall asleep on his own. Its so hard....I know...good luck and take care!

Congrats on your baby. First of all be weary of anything that says "sleep train" or "cry it out". It's not good for your child and will only further lead to anxiety for both of you. the best thing you can do is start a good bedtime routine. Take a bath, sing a song, rock in a quiet room, put music on, run a fan, basically set up the same routine. But frankly 2 months is very early to even be worried. Every baby sleeps on their own time table. Babies are only that small for such a short amount of time so enjoy that time that he wants to cuddle and rock.

J.,

Congratulations for your baby boy! I teach parenting classes and do a lot of a child advocacy. For a few years before my oldest daughter was born, I provided some in-home counseling for families and worked a lot with helping parents sleep train their infants. People have often commented about how fortunate I am to have children who go to bed so easily, but a lot of work has been invested in getting them to that point! Given this, I hope you find my opinion helpful.

Infants are not wired to "put themselves to sleep" until 4 months of age. Some newborns will lay down and go to sleep on their own depending on their surroundings, but that depends more on temperament than ability. They live in such a noisy, bouncy place while they are in utero that the quiet and stillness of a bassinet or crib is unsettling. They have been bounced to sleep for many months. Is he gassy? Some gassy babies don't sleep well without body warmth or movement because these two things relieve gas pains. When he sleeps on you, he hears all of those familiar sounds; your heartbeat, gut sounds, etc. and his stomach is warm against your body.

I, too, have a newborn son (4 weeks) and we have to hold, rock, or swing him to get him to sleep. After I nurse him during the night, I will hold him to burp and he falls back to sleep with me patting him. He will, also, often wake up when I lay him in his bassinet. I plan on doing the same with him as I did with his older sisters - work on him falling to sleep on his own after 4 months of age.

I don't know what your circumstances are but some people stress about what they are "suppose" to do. They listen to people say that infants should sleep in a crib and go to sleep on their own. In reality, the parents should do what is best for the child and the parent provided it is safe. What is wrong with an infant sleeping in a swing or a bouncy seat until he/she can no longer safely fit in one? Some babies must sleep in their car seats, bouncy seats, swings, etc. because of acid reflux or other medical conditions. Provided it doesn't pose a risk to the baby, who cares where/how he sleeps if he is getting sleep and you feel like a good, rested mother?

I think it really depends on why you want him to fall asleep on his own. If you need him to because of your lifestyle then I would try to be patient until he reaches 4 months. However, if you just want to avoid haivng to rock him until he is older, like your daughter, then I would relax and not stress. The great thing about sleep training is that you can do it at 4 months or 2 years and it works within a week. Some people, like me, enjoy rocking their babies. Once my girls were about 5 months old, I would nurse them, rock them until they were sleepy, then lay them in their cribs to fall asleep. The only exception to this should be when they are sick or traumatized. As adults, we would like to be soothed to sleep when we are not feeling well!

If you enjoy rocking, holding, or whatever you do to get him to sleep, I would continue to enjoy it and not worry about his sleep patterns until he is a little older. For now, give him ample time everyday to lay down by himself to look around and stretch out. I you don't enjoy it and really want him to fall asleep on his own, you could try to give him a pacifier (if he takes one) and pat him on his side or bottom while he is laying down until he is old enough to go to sleep on his own. Please just know that his inablity to fall asleep on his own right now is not on behalf of anything you are doing - it is natural and he needs to get a few months older.

I hope this was helpful! Good luck and enjoy that precious baby!

Some great responses, but please don't put him to sleep on his belly as someone suggested -- that position has been shown to be linked with SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) as being on the belly before they''re able to turn over means they can suffocate up against the mattress, crib bumper (soft material that isn't really needed and creates suffocation hazards), etc. For the same reason I would not put him down with a Boppy or any pillow or blanket or even a toy at this very young age. Go ahead and hold him, trying to get him down while he's still slightly awake; keep a hand on him, even if you have to sit next to the crib on the floor for a while until he's asleep, then withdraw your hand gently...I do not believe in "crying it out" at any age; remember, when you leave him he thinks you have completely vanished; he has no way to know you are in the house or will ever return to him. Crying it out makes them less, not more, secure. And I agree with others that two months is too early to worry about his learning to fall asleep all on his own. He's not ready for that yet. Just because your daughter needed to be held until she was 18 months doesn't mean he will. But then, there are times now that i'd love to rock my elementary school daughter to sleep and know I can't! So enjoy it rather than looking at it as something to start ending so soon.

I did whatever my daughter wanted until she was 9 mo, and then I was so exhausted I just couldn't. (I found out a month later I also had hypothyroidism, which made me much more tired than a non-hypothyroidism person feels.) Just said that so you can understand there is a pretty big age difference. I had tried other things for months and had routines. I don't know what other things you might have going. We used music, baths, staying on schedules and nothing worked. But, I nursed her, and used a Boppy pillow. She always loved to cuddle, so one day I got the idea to stick the Boppy pillow in with her. Well, she fell asleep on it, while nursing, and I thought it might let her sleep better if I put her in the crib with the already warm Boppy instead of laying her on the cool crib sheet. I don't know if she equated it to comfort, or if she just wanted to snuggle, or if it kept her warmer, or if she would have done it around then without anything. (I doubt the last one, but of course I can't know for sure.)Hope you find something that works for you!

I began sleep training my son at 4 months. I had two battles to fight. First, how to stop him from wanting to nurse at 2 and 4 am. Second, how to get him to soothe himself to sleep. Well, I did the cry it out method...I know it's hard. I cried the first night but I knew it was now or never. I have a bed time routine that consists of reading, then bath and as I dress him in his pjs I would had the lights dime and talked very softly. Then I would nurse him and put him down drowsy but not asleep. He cried terribly the first two nights but by the third night he began sleeping on his own and through the night! I was so happy and shocked that it worked. Of course, periodically due to teething he does wake in the middle of the night but I walk in to reassure him I'm there and lay him back down. Check out the cry it out method on babycenter.com. Good luck! I hope this helps you. P.S. this goes for naps as well. Consistency is KEY

My son is now 2mo. old and what i do. First off i NEVER rock them to complete sleep. When he gets drowsy i put him in his bed and stand there and pat him and say "Shiiii" After i put him down i NEVER pick him back up UNLESS he gets Irate and than i don't do it until he's calmed back down. Than i put him back in the bed. I'm one of those bad parents who lays him on his belly. He sleeps better that way and i can also pat him on his bottom to get him to sleep which does charms. Maybe you should try it and in a short while after he's sleeping turn him over. It might help. When he's over tired I've noticed he puts up more of a fight and having the light on when i put him down in this situation helps. I think he feels he's going to sleep I'm not making him.
My daughter now 7 yrs old was put to bed this same way and I've NEVER had sleep prob. with her. I also did childcare all my life and that's how i did it with those children. So far I've never had any trouble not a single child I've taught to go to bed. Good luck

Two months is pretty young; he still really relies on you for everything, but it's not too young to start him learning to soothe himself to sleep. I waited until I felt my dd was old enough to sleep through the night without a feeding before she was expected to "do it all" without me, around 6 months or so. This is because the intermittent encouragement she thought she was getting when I picked her up out of bed and fed her was wrecking the sleep pattern I was trying to establish. When I knew I didn't have to feed her or get her out of bed, then I could just go in when she woke up and "shhh.." her and pat her and walk back out. The first few times, she was very indignant and cried. But this action gave her the opportunity to figure out what she needed to soothe herself without me. She's over a year now and sleeps through the night beautifully. I did use a book (Good Night, Sleep Tight) to help me with scheduling the times for naps and bedtime. It also helped with problem solving and introduced me to the issue of intermittent encouragement that had wrecked my previous attempts. I should have gotten the book in the first place. JMHO. Congratulations on your new baby, and good luck!

Hi

I don't think 2 months is too young to start putting baby down awake and letting them learn to fall asleep themselves. I have 3 kids and with all of them we did the same , around 6 wks old after bathing and the 7pm ish feed we would put them awake in the bassinet in our room (swaddled as my kids loved this) and let them fall to sleep and we did this same thing night after night and they soon got to know it as the bedtime routine , of course at 8 weeks he will be waking again for a feed but that doesn't mean that you cannot start a bedtime routine , it won't be much longer before you are putting him down at 7/7.30 and he will be going through so if you already have this place then that is one less battle down the road.

Just keep doing the same thing every night , what works for you and do the same every night and you will soon have the routine you want in place.

K.