HELP...I Need Sleep

J.,

I hear you...I really do. I have an 11.5 month old that still eats at least once at night.

However, there is a 9-month sleep regression that all babies seem to go through. It is development/milestone related and it will pass. Just hang in there, don't make any drastic changes, and it will fix itself.

PS: The same thing also happens at the 4 month mark as well.

I had the same problem until my son was 8 months old. My doctor told me that if I kept feeding him every time he woke that I would be creating a child that would never sleep. I started to do everything but feed him. I would rock him, play soothing music and give him a bottle of water if I had to. He eventually did sleep throught the night, however it did take several months. I also breastfed so I know how challenging it can be. If I felt like I had to I would pump after putting him back to sleep, it just made me feel better and I would save that milk so my husband could help out for the am feeding. I also left the bottle of water in his crib thinking that maybe he was just thirsty. He is now two and has been sleeping through the night for a long time. It will all work out.

GOOD LUCK :)

I would only supplement with formula if you want to phase out the breastfeeding because when I started to give my son the bottle he became less interested in breastfeeding. I would try cutting out the evening nap and try to give some oatmeal before bed. This helped me. You can mix in some breastmilk. Also, a bath before bed can really get babies relaxed and drowsy. Good luck with the sleep. It will come and you will feel rested again. My kids sleep patterns went through phases.

Hi J.,
I totally understand what you are going through and had the same issues with my son when he was younger. I exclusively breastfed, too. He was 10 months before I thought I would collapse or go crazy if he didn't sleep through the night. He did it and became a fantastic sleeper at night time after I read "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" by Dr Marc Weisbluth. I cannot recommend this book enough and I refer back to my copy every time my son's sleep habits go awry for any reason (travel etc). I really, really hope you'll read the book and know that it's not about needing formula but more about helping your baby establish a healthy sleep pattern. It did take us 2 weeks to really get through it but it was so worth it to have him sleep 7-7 so peacefully (with 2 naps during the day when he was 10 months). Hope that helps. Good luck.
L.

Hi J.! A 9 month old does not need to eat at night- if she's getting solids during the day and breastfeeding as well, she's had plenty of food and is now, as you said, waking from habit. she should not eat at night if she's at healthy weight. YOu're right, she's learned that if she wakes up, mom nurses me back to bed. I did the SAME thing with my daughter when she was 6 months, and my pediatrician was like, STOP IT! You've got to teach her to fall back asleep on her own. Everyone wakes up every hour or so when their sleep cycle changes- your daughter isn't able to fall back asleep and is depending on you to re-create the sleep situation. Stop feeding her at night- go in when she wakes up and pat her/tuck her in, etc but leave before she is asleep. it'll be hard and yes she'll cry, but she's without a doubt old enough to learn this quickly. I went in after 10 minutes of crying and soothed her back to being calm- it took about 10 days, and now she sleeps 12 hours a night, no problems.

Hi J.,
I have been in your situation! I had extreme sleep deprivation from my baby waking up at least every 2 hours and couldn't nap during the day because I also had a 3 year old to care for. I would let my baby cry for a while, but even if I didn't go to him right away, I was still awake while he was crying. I kept going in and nursing him back to sleep because I was so desperate for sleep myself. I took some advice and ended up establishing a VERY strict bedtime routine-- bath, nursing, story, whatever your routine may be....once I put my baby to bed (sleepy but not completely asleep....) I let him "cry it out". It was so hard the first two nights--he cried for 1 1/2 hours....(and so did I) but then he slept for 5!!! That was the longest he had slept at one time in 9 months!! Just to tell you--I really felt like I was doing somethng terrible--letting him cry that long! Everyone assured me that was normal, that I wasn't hurting him, I was helping him learn to soothe himself and get the sleep that he (and I) needed. Well, he cried shorter and shorter every night and slept longer and longer. Of course there is the occasional teething pain or cold, but I just took the advice from my other mom friends and it worked! Now he is 16 months and after the same bedtime routine I kiss him, say "good night, I love you", and put him in his crib. He rolls right over and closes his eyes and goes to sleep...before I even leave the room, and sleeps for at least 10 hours!!!! I still can't believe it! Also, we have never used night lights with either of our kids. I think the darkness helps them fall asleep. I know I can sleep better when it's dark.
This is just my experience, but every baby is so different. I hope that you find something that works so you can get some relief! One more thing--during the day, if you can, sleep when the baby sleeps!! Seriously--Other things can wait, because you can't function properly without enough sleep....

.....I just wanted to add that I absolutely love my kids with all of my heart and would never do anything that I think would cause harm to them. I took advice from friends and did what I thought was best for my situation. As far as causing mistrust, I don't believe that happened at all in my experience. (I'm not saying it's not true....) He likes going to bed now and is so much happier and rested during the day.

I truly believe there is no one answer to every situation. That's why this website is awesome....it gives so many points of view and different ideas for moms.

J., as a mother and grandmother and as a maternal-infant nurse and educator, I have compassion for every parent out there. There is so much literature and so much seemingly conflicting information, sometimes it is difficult to know what to do...
I remind parents, especially the mothers, that you have an intrinsic "intuitive" sense that can guide you, it is a built in gift to ensure the survival of our species! Think of all the mothers who did not have books or the internet! That said, one can ask for how others were successful, but ALWAYS remember, you and your young one are unique, and to trust your own inner knowing and many times, just plain common sense.
During my training as an infant massage instructor, I learned the phrase, "Meet the need and the need will go away." This was many years ago and I see it demonstrated as Truth for babies, children, teens and adults.
I do not believe or endorse allowing a young child to cry themselves to sleep. To me, this gives the message that they are alone, and that their needs are not being met by their primary caregiver.
So how to meet the needs. You may already be offering these, here are some for you or for someone else that may benefit by reading these words.
At 9 months, the child is so curious about their world. This also begins the separation anxiety stage. So during daytime hours, playing, reading, singing, really engaging the young one more is important, mental stimulation. The desire to learn and know one's world is bigger.
Yes,I do recognize that parents can have a lot on one's plate, cooking, cleaning, laundry, if stay at home; that and hours away at work, if a working mom. There are ways to share, to have those times together.
Next is, I found with my own children and those I taught, that a warm bath right before bed really gave a long great night's sleep. Just as with adults with insomnia, the warm water, coupled with a bit of cooling off afterwards with the towel drying and adjusting to the room temperature again, actually sends the signal of deep relaxation within the body and hence deep sleep. Works wonders!
And as an infant massage instructor, I found massage works wonders on relaxing and calming the child so one sleeps peacefully. I originally became interested when my youngest daughter (now 25) had colic. In an effort to ease her pain, I found a book on infant massage and it took care of her discomfort and the crying ceased. I believed in it so strongly that I went on to become certified to train, I utilized it with all my children.
You can easily locate a book or video on infant massage. If you are interested in an individual instructor, write and let me know.
Also this could be a temporary growth spurt, hence needing more feedings. Note the word temporary. As your breast milk production increases and she receives more during the day & at the 7 pm & 11 pm feedings, she will relax into not needing the other late night wakings.
Another possibility is that she is starting to teethe and enjoys the nursing as it sooths her gums. Hence the wakings for more stimulation.
So, to sum up, with the stage of separation anxiety, I would venture to say, that it is not the best time to leave her alone to cry it out... that can compound the issues. Meet her needs, during the day, and a nice warm bath, and reassurance at night.
I wish you the best in this. I applaud that you are a stay at home mom. I hope you are receiving great support for yourself as well. Remember through the more physically demanding times, to rest a lot so your milk supply is not affected and your emotions stay positive. Blessings.

Personally, I wouldn't nurse her back to sleep. She knows if she wakes up, you will feed her. She is old enough to go through the night without feeding.

She needs to learn to self soothe & put herself back to sleep. If she wakes up, go in, pat her back, give her a pacifier back if she uses one & tell her to go back to sleep. It might take a few days & she'll cry, but she needs to learn.

You don't need to feed formula. Breast is the best. Your daughter is not hungry. Humans are creatures of habit. We form habits and stick with them. Perhaps your daughter is getting in the habit of waking at night. Perhaps it is time to break that habit since she is nine months old. When she wakes at the 10 pm time could your husband check on her and tell her to go back to sleep without giving her long attention? It may take several nights of this until she learns that waking in the night will not bring Mom with milk and comfort. She then may break her habit of asking for you. A healthy baby of nine months should be able to sleep 6 hours straight at least. This is when you should sleep too. AF

Hi J.,

I have a nine month old as well, and she is not a good sleeper. She is still nursing as well. My daughter hardly naps at all during the day. She takes little cat naps here and there. She is my third child, and both of her brothers were sleeping through the night much earlier. My Dr suggested not nursing her at night, and just comforting her in the crib. I have been trying this, and it seems to help some. I think I was nursing her even though she didn't really need it just to get her to sleep. She is now sleeping from about 9pm until 5:30ish. It's a slight improvement. Not sure if this will help too much, but at least you know you aren't alone.
Good Luck.

Very few babies sleep through the night early- that is part of parenthood. Feeding solids or Formula does not make them sleep through the night nor does putting them to bed late.
I weaned my son when he was about 7 months old and he didn't sleep through the night until he was 11 months old. He is eating solids, drinking formula, taking two naps a day, and he goes to bed around 6:30, 7PM. He is happy, healthy, teething, and he is a baby. He just turned a year and he wakes up at night occasionally. I was told to stop feeding him at night, but I couldn't do it- it didn't feel right. And that was the most important to me.
If it gets too hard, I just take a nap during the day when he's asleep.

First of all, at nine months babies do still awaken at night. But I think once a night is to be expected.
You need to develop a routine throughout the day & night. If your daughter is taking 3 naps a day, that means her "wake" times are short. Eliminate one nap, and limit the morning nap to only 1 hour, and the afternoon nap to 2 hrs. I would also hold off her official bedtime until 8 p.m. at least.
You didn't mention the atmosphere during the times she wakes up at night. Hopefully you do not turn on the normal lights or t.v., etc. and "play" with her or treat her awake time like you would during normal day hours. It should be strictly for feeding, a reassuring kiss, and back to bed. Good luck.

Sleep is over rated... or so they tell me.. LOL!
Personally, I couldn't have lasted as long as you did. I made it 5 weeks with the first one and now if I have someone up in the night, I'm insane. This is why YOUNG people have children.

Back up on the naps. Give her one nap in the afternoon around 1. Don't let her sleep past 3pm. Run her around from 3 to 5. Make her move - play outside - whatever. Then after dinner, stick to a strict routine. Bath, story, bed. I'd put her in at 7:30. Then, if she wakes, let her cry. Give her water in a sippy cup if she cries before midnight. Nothing if she cries after. She's eating solids during the day so she's not hungry. This getting up stuff - It's a nasty habit. Don't run in there and engage her. Hand her the cup, watch her drink, then walk out. I used to put the sippy cup in the corner of the crib when I put them to bed. They would wake up, take a drink, and go back to sleep.

YMMV.
Good luck!!

Hi J.,
I think part of her waking up is the fact that she is nursed to sleep. My son, now 8, went through a stage at about 18 months old that he woke up at night after sleeping through the night for months. My sister, a family practice doc, lent me a book that about sleeping. What the book said is that when a child wakes up and the situation is not the same as when they fell asleep at night they cannot go back to sleep. The example the book used was: imagine you wake up and your pillow is not under your head, you look on the floor and there it is you put it back under your head and go back to sleep. However if the pillow is not on the floor you will get up and look for it and now you are wide awake and cannot go back to sleep until you find your pillow. So, if your baby always falls asleep with nursing and she wakes up and cannot nurse she will not be able to fall back to sleep. The book suggested putting the baby in the crib while she is still awake and let her fall asleep on her own, so when she wakes in the night it is the same situation as when she fell asleep initially. It may be hard at first, what we had to do is let him fuss for a few minutes then go in and rub his back, leave and let him fuss for a few minutes and repeat until he fell asleep. This process took about 3 days but after that he was stirring at night but not waking up and was able to sooth himself to sleep. It was hard to hear him fuss, but in the end it was only 3 days and we were all much happier. Good luck.

Hi J.,

Call the La Leche League: 1-800-525-3243 or use the web:

www.lllusa.org/

Take some parenting classes and get into a mom's support group.

www.kidspriorityone.org or ###-###-####

Good luck. D.

Hi J.,
My son was also born in October- on the 5th! From what I've read, heard, and experiences, sleep begets sleep- so whatever you do, don't cut down on her day time naps! The more she sleeps at night, the more she'll sleep during the day, and vice versa. My experience with my son is that he has developed some bad habits at night- or did and we had to break them. He used to sleep from 7ish until 5 but then started waking frequently to nurse. I'd often be tired and bring him into bed with me to nurse and then he's just sleep there until morning. He loves eating and nursing himself to sleep so he'd wake up earlier and earlier to be able to do it. The first thing I did was start to nurse him in a chair in his room and put him right back to bed. Eventually I would just let him cry (I know that sounds awful if you aren't a fan of the CIO method) if he woke up during the middle of the night. When I was training him it only took one night of him crying for about 10 minutes for him to go back to sleep and he hasn't woken up again in the middle of the night. 10 minutes of crying for 6-8 hrs of straight sleep for me (he sleeps 10-12 but I go to bed late) was worth it. You don't need to add in formula, it's a habit for her to wake up and nurse, not a physical need. And giving her formula will just make her constipated and add to your issues. There are discussion on www.mothering.com that you also might find helpful that relate to this. Most moms on the site advocate the "no cry sleep solution" but if nothing else, you'll find the stories of other moms in your same situation- some of which who haven't sleep at all in the last 13, 15, 20 months because their babies wake every hour! I hope this helps.

I disagree with the posters that say that letting your child cry it out causes mistrust. And Dr. Sears' research indicating that crying it out can affect the baby's brain development is after "Weeks and weeks" of crying it out. If you read the literature, they use words like "routinely separated from parents in a stressful way". If you follow a sleep training plan, where you check on your children at intervals--showing them that you are not abandoning them, and your child responds to the sleep training, then you don't have to "routinely" let them cry or let them cry it out for "weeks and weeks" because for many children (I didn't say all children) it works in just a few days.

We co-slept until she was 3 months old at which time my husband's snoring woke her up. I nursed my daughter to sleep. Then when she would still be awake after nursing, I would bounce her to sleep. At 4 months old she would need to be bounced/rocked/shushed for 30-60 minutes at a time for every nap and night waking--and she was waking 5 times a night. I was exhausted and miserable--and so was she. Everyone said that the smiley little baby I had was disappearing. We used the Ferber method, with the approval of our pediatrician (who is a well-loved pediatrician of over 30 years in practice whose patients now come back to her with their children...and they aren't all walking around with attachment disorders) and in 2 nights, our daughter was able to put herself to sleep.

In less than a week, she was a happier baby. Instead of waking up crying and in distress, as she used to. She would wake up happy and babbling. She is very much in love with me and my husband and trusts us more than anyone. I don't feel any lack of bond. And she's not crying herself to sleep anymore. I nurse her until she's drowsy, put her in her crib, she turns over and plays with her lovey/stuffed animal for a few minutes, then falls to sleep.

We did not do this to force her to sleep through the night. Now, even 3.5 months later, I still get up and feed her once a night. The other night she woke up 3 times and I fed her all three times, I am not ignoring her needs--she's teething right now and that's comforting to her and I'd rather give her breastmilk than tylenol, so that's what I choose to do.

Letting your child cry it out does not make you a monster. I am convinced that it saved our lives. I was practically falling asleep on the road as I would drive me and my daughter around. I tried the solutions offered in the "No Cry Sleep Solution" for a month, and they just did not work for us. If they work for you, that would be fantastic--listening to your child cry for a long time is the most stressful thing, I cried just as much as she did.

But at 8 months, she is the smiliest, happiest, healthiest baby. She sleeps from 7:30pm to 7:30am (getting up anywhere from 0-3 times, but most days of the week, just once). She takes 3 naps a day that are each at least 45 minutes, some up to 2 hours.

Remember, ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT. For some people, keeping their child awake later works, for some people, cutting out a nap works, but for others--this may be setting you up for having an over-tired baby.

My bottom line is: yes, she's waking 4-5 times a night because you've trained her to fall asleep with a nipple in her mouth and when she awakes partially (like all babies do during the night, all humans do) and it's not there, she gets upset.

If you can get her to fall asleep without nursing...try the non-cry-it-out solutions first! But if you have to, don't feel like you're a bad parent. You're not. You're making the best choices you can.

I went thru this with my daughter around the same age. Try giving her some cereal right before bed. It might help to give her maybe one less nap during the day. It may end up being a bit longer of a nap in the long run but it might help her sleep better at night. Also, one of the hardest things to do...let her cry it out at night. She is at the age where I had to just give in and let my daughter cry it out or we would have never gotten any sleep. Its the HARDEST thing to do but if you know your daugher is fine, not hurt, hungry or wet then just let her cry. Start 5-10 min intervals..let her cry then every 5-10 mins go in there, calm her down, give her her pacifier if she takes one ***DO NOT PICK HER UP OR TALK TO HER*** hum her favorite song or lulaby rub her belly/back until she calms down enough for you to walk out again *she may not be sleeping but just enough she isn't screaming anymore* then leave...it may take a few times each night for 3-4 nights but as hard as it is, it is SO worth it and you will feel accomplished when its over! My daughter is 13 months old and very RARELY wakes in the middle of the night. When we started letting her put her self to sleep it took us I think 4 days before we didn't have to go in there at all to calm her down. Just be sure you don't pick her up or talk to her when you go in there or she will think you are there to get her like every other time.

Good Luck and if you want/need to talk to someone you can message me personally..It wasn't that long ago we were in the same spot you are in and I know the feeling of "this will never end"

hi J. -

just my two cents here, but maybe if she didn't take so many naps during the day she would sleep a little longer? I could not disagree more with the mother's who suggest you let you child cry it out. Crying it out is a horrendous way to go. It breaks the bond between you and your child and can be dangerous for your child. When an infant cries that long and that hard it cuts off the oxygen supply that they get to their brain. Some babies don't sleep through the night until they are one or even older. Part of being a parent is losing sleep while they are little. At this age your daughter could be teething or having a growth spurt and she needs you when she wakes. For some more suggestions on helping your baby sleep and not letting her cry it out check out www.askdrsears.com there is also a great book out called "The no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Please research all of your options before you make the decision or take the suggestion to let your child cry it out. I feel for you I really do. My son who is 28 months still does not always sleep through the night and we co-sleep. It is so very hard but it really does get better, and you little one really does need you when she cries.

Good luck and Godspeed.

OMG J.! My dd is the EXACT same way. She's 7.5 months born 11/07. For a minute there, I thought you were writing about her, except we put her to sleep around 8:30pm. We tried bumping up her bedtime, but nothing changed. Then we turned the AC off, maybe she was getting cold at night...nothing, still waking up a couple times. On Wednesday, we actually had to let her cry it out because she just wasn't gong to sleep. She cried for about 5 minutes then fell asleep. Yesterday we had to let her cio again and she fell asleep after 2-3 minutes. Still both nights she would wake up 3-4 times a night. Tonight I was able to put her to sleep without her crying (nursed her to sleep). Now I have to look forward to waking up 3-4 times. Who knows what tomorrow night will be like. She has also started crying when I put her back in her crib each time, but only for 5-10 seconds and then she falls to sleep...still no fun to hear her cry. I wish I could supplement with formula, but she will not take a bottle or a sippy cup. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, it's just crazy how your dd sleeping pattern matches my dd. I hope you find a solution, I look forward to reading what others have to say. Good luck.

Awesome book on sleep.... Healthy sleep habits, happy child by Marc Weissbluth. It will change the way you think about kids sleeping and help you better understand their patterns, and what to do to help them become successful self-soothers. Happy sleeping!!

Hello J.,

I sympathize with you as I am the mother of twin boys of the same age. They too have struggled with sleeping through the night for a couple of reasons: 1) the pain associated with teething; 2) the comfort of feeding in the middle of the night. Might I suggest you begin feeding the baby a little more than oatmeal and fruit? She may very well be hungry given her very limited diet. Also, try putting her to bed a little later. If she is exhausted by the time she goes to bed, she most likely will sleep a little longer during the overnight hours.

Good luck!

When I read your post, I thought for a minute that I must have posted it in my sleep deprived state and forgot. LOL. My daughter is 9 months. She's the exact same. There has been a few nights where she's slept for 7 hrs, but the norm is for her to wake up a few times during the night and I nurse her back to sleep. I'm breastfeeding and she only eats once a day. I think you'll find that your situation is normal.

Back when my daughter was 4 months old, we let her cry and self sooth herself back to sleep. After a night or two, she was sleeping 5 hrs thru the night consistently. BUT, when she started pulling herself up in the crib and couldn't lay herself back now (she'd fall), I got worried so I'd go to her whenever she'd cry. Then we thought she was teething, then going thru a growth spurt, had a poopy diaper, etc. The list goes on. Since that time, I just haven't let her cry herself back to sleep even though I know it works. In general, it's so hard for me to let her cry.

I say all this because I'm sure it's not hunger waking your daughter up. It's what's she's use to. I'm a first time mom to and in the same boat so I don't feel like I should offer any advice other than try helping her self sooth herself back to sleep and eventually back off on the middle of the night feeding (the one at 2 or 3am). Work on getting her to sleep 5 hrs thru the night and you'll feel a ton better. Also, recruit your husband to help late at night and early in the morning by changing diapers and rocking (or some form of soothing) her without you having to get up. If he's thinks she's hungry, have him bring her to you so that you don't have to get out of bed (since your already getting up in the middle of the night with her). Just some thoughts. Good luck.

Hi J.,

I agree completely with the other post. If she's eating meals during the day along with being breast-fed I'm sure she's not hungry, she's just never had to learn to comfort herself because you've been doing it for her. If she's not already using a pacifier I wouldn't start one now, but she's got to learn to self-comfort at some point. It'll be hard for a few nights, maybe up to a week, but everyone will get through it in one piece, I promise!

When my son had to learn to fall asleep by himself the first night we went in to hold him for a minute until he calmed down, then put him right back down & let him cry it out. The second night I would just stick my head in to let him know I was still there & the third night we just let him go for as long as he needed to until he fell asleep from pure exhaustion. By night 5 there wasn't any fussing, he knew what to expect & we never had another problem with him sleeping (he'll be 9 years old next month!)

Like I said, nobody said it would be easy, but for everyone's sake, it's got to be done at some point & the longer you go with things the way they are now, the harder it will be in the long run. Good luck, hope this helped.

Melissa

Sounds like the feedings are good, I would trim her down to two naps, short morning, long afternoon, and don't lay her down at night until 7:30 or 8. When she wakes up in the night, are you letting her try to get herself back to sleep at all? Definitely do not feed her at night wakings now. She does not need it. It will be hard, but you will be getting a full night's sleep within a week if you are consistent!!! I have been through this with both my girls, you have to be consistent! I know you will feel bad letting her cry some at night, but remember, when you have slept, you are a BETTER MOM! Good luck!

Our pediatrician told me that there was no need for a healthy baby to be fed at night past 2 months, however my daughter was formula fed not sure if that makes a difference or not but I doubt she is really waking up b/c she is hungry. Will you allow her to have a pacifier? If so I would give that to her instead of nursing her and then leave her with it while she is still awake to put herself back to sleep. It will probably take a few nights but once she realizes you are not going to nurse her in the night she will likely not make a fuss for you to come get her. We also only gave our daugter 2 naps a day at this age and 1 at 12 months plus so she maybe getting more sleep than she needs also.

Personally I don't believe in letting a baby cry it out. It creates mistrust between you and your child. We had a similar problem with our son, only it started pretty much the second day from the hospital when he refused to sleep in a bassinett or crib. So we took him into bed with us. As he got closer to age 1 he got too restless for my husband so we bought a double bed for our son's room. Your daughter is probably waking for comfort. When you share the same bed it is easy to wake to latch the baby on and then go back to sleep. I didn't try to break my son of these feedings until after he was a year. He was waking an average of 6 times a night. What I did was when he would wake I would only allow him to nurse 5 minutes. If he cried when I broke the latch I would jut snuggle with him and tell him "Mommy's here, everything is all right." After a week of five minutes we went to four minutes and then 3 minutes. We never made it to 2 minutes becaue he broke himself of the habit of nursing when he woke. It simply became enough to snuggle. His nighttime wakings decreased. He learned to go to sleep without nursing shortly after and then completly weaned withing two months. He still wakes up, but all I have to do is go in an either lay with him or pat his back. He has on a couple of times woken up and gone back to sleep himself. Since he is in a bed we don't go to him if he wakes, he has to come to us. If he wakes after I'm in bed, then I just sleep with him. The latest he has slept is 5:30 in the morning. I know I have written a lot, but I just wanted to show you that things will improve. It's about building trust. Despite the fact that my son will be two in 3 months and is starting to have tantrums they are nothing like I have seen other children do. I think in part it is because of the bond we have created. In stores people comment on what a happpy child he is. Bottom line you have to do what makes you feel good about yourself as a parent. If it makes you feel bad or guilty find something that makes you feel more comfortable. Trust your instincts.

J.,
First thing I have to say is keep nursing! You have done great so far. No need to go to formula or heavy milk. You might want to cut back on her naps during the day. If she is more active, she might want to sleep longer. You could also put her down for bed later.
The summer is a great time to get outdoor activities in your child's schedule. Get her outside and in the pool if possible before dinner. They tend to sleep very well after swimming.
Hope this helps.
L.

Don't give formula. It is not worth any extra sleep to introduce that to your child. clinically speaking sleeping through the night is 5 hours. At her age if she is waking that much I would check for a reason. She maybe just going through a growth spurt and this will pass in a few days or there maybe another cause. You might make sure she doesn't have an ear infection. My boys would get them and only be bothered by them at night and not really even run a fever. Even if she only has fluid in her ears it can cause extra pressure and make her uncomfortable at night. You might also check to see if she is getting any new teeth sometimes even before you can really see that they are coming they can be painful and for my kids teething is always worse at night. I think because there are fewer things to distract them during the day. I would also contact La Leche League for breastfeeding support. Don't give into the formula it is not worth the trade off. Sometimes babies sleep longer with it but it is only because it is so hard for them to digest. the list of diseases you increase the risk of your baby getting just by introducing formula in the first year is very long. It increases your risk for some happy diseases too. Hang in there. this to shall pass

Good evening J.. I too breastfeed my daughter, and what I found easier was the breast milk that I expressed while at work or had in the freezer, I would put a little cereal in her bottle with it to make it more dense so she would not wake up hungry so often. Because breastmilk contains no fat, it runs through babies much quicker, hence the more frequent urges to eat. I would also mix some of it in with her fruit to make that more of a meal. I work closely with my pediatrician and doula for making sure my daughter got enough to eat. However, I was encouraged at that time to supplement with formula too. My baby loved to eat, plus she didn't gain too much weight so dr's wanted to make sure she was getting enough nutrients.

I am sure that your daughter is becoming very accustomed to you nursing her back to sleep. She may even be relying on that instead of soothing herself back to sleep. I know because my little girl relied on that for a while. I know it will be hard, but try letting her sooth herself back to sleep every once in a while, and that will be your definite answer as to whether she is depending on the feeding to return to sleep or she just doesn't know how to sooth herself yet. Hope this information helps.

Hi J.,

How wonderful that you are breastfeeding your baby. You are meeting her needs both physically and emotionally. The more she sleeps during the day, the less she will sleep at night. As you will see, routines always change. Maybe she is teething, not feeling well, etc. Has there been any recent upheaval? Going down at 6:30 to 7pm is early. It is normal for babies to wake at night. Doctors consider sleeping through the night from the hours of midnight to 5 am. Most cultures are not like us. They find it normal for both adults and children to wake at night.

Starting formula is not going to help, and you are only going to cause changes in her gastrointestinal system--not good--. You may want to keep a healthy snack by the bed or water, but honestly, nursing her back to sleep is the easiest and best at this age. Maybe you may want to consider co-sleeping? How often is she nursing during the day? This could be a reason she keeps waking at night. If one or both of you are so busy during the day, she may not be nursing frequently enough.

For you, please take a nap during the day while she is. You need to rest, not worry about a clean house!

I have four children. Ages--9, 12, 15 and 17. Sleep no longer exists in our house! LOL! There is always something--a sick child, a teen-ager coming in to let you know she is home--or maybe she needs to talk. I enjoy my power naps during the day!

Hope this helps.
G. T.

Well to be honest 3 naps is to much at her age. You might want to move her bed time to 8:00. My son was the same way it turned out he didin't know how to sooth him self back to sleep. So we ended up doing the sleep traing!

Hi J.. I feel your pain and lack of sleep as it wasn't so long ago that I was going through the same. I was told over and over to let my son cry it out, but I just couldn't, and every time he woke up I went in to nurse him. Well, a sleep deprived year later I finally decided to let him cry it out, and it killed me. But it worked, within 3 nights he was soundly sleeping through the night. Before that he had been up every two hours, no matter what he ate during the day, and no matter how many naps I cut out. It had become a bad habit. I know you don't want to hear your baby cry, but I promise you that it will work. At nine months she shouldn't need to nursed through the night. I would try some cereal before bed, and then just wait it out. Mine never cried longer than 3 minutes before he was out like a log, even though those 3 minutes felt like 3 hours. GOOD LUCK and GOOD SLEEP!

They start sleeping through the night when they are developmentally ready. For my son, even though he stopped nursing at night when he was 9 months old, he didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 2--and we weren't bringing him to bed with us. At 9 months, the majority of babies do wake several times during the night.

Babies sleep differently than adults. They sleep more lightly, and they wake more easily. Their deep sleep cycles are shorter. So if anything is wrong--at least in their minds--when they hit a lighter sleep stage, it will wake them.

Nine months is a typical growth spurt period, which may be why she's nursing more at night. You could try nursing more frequently during the day. Doing it in a quiet, darkened room may help her focus and eat more.

You might also make sure that you're offering the breast before you offer solids. The first foods we offer babies are high on fiber and bulk, but low on calories. Breastmilk is low on fiber, but high in calories. If you fill her with breastmilk first, then let her have the solids for dessert, she may sleep better because she's getting more calories during your waking hours.

I found it very helpful to just go to bed when baby did, even if it was early. Getting a 4 hour chunk of uninterrupted sleep made all the difference, and the subsequent wakings were much less disruptive to me.

We are also in the same position with baby #2. So I am now just resorting to shoving the 'boob' in his mouth to get him back to sleep. With our older son (now 2 1/2), we eventually had a weekend of "cry it out" and I think that did the trick. I waited until he was closer to 8 months old because my boys are breastfed and thin, so I didn't want them to be deprived of food, if that was the case. Although, like you, I am at 3 meals a day for my 7 mo old. I know the books say all sorts of things about negative connatations of "cry it out," but I would recommend reading "The New First Three Years of Life." This book has been around for years and goes through (psychologically and emotionally) childrens behavior patterns and this doctor claims that at 6 months old, babies start developing the "demand cry" and you want to nip it before one so you don't end up with children who are whiny and clingy. This book is what got me to thinking cry it out was the best for our situation and it worked and didn't make me feel like an unloving mother doing it. I believe that I have a VERY confident and secure 2 1/2 year old, who has even travelled to grandpa and grandma's house for an overnight weekend by himself (my sister took him) and he had only been at their house 2 other times. He sleeps with no "sleep aids" (like thumb or blankey) and goes to be almost the instant we put him down for both naptime and nightime. I nursed him for 18 months and I would recommend perhaps having you nurse the baby, have daddy give the bath, and getting ready time and put the baby down- this helped us greatly too (not nrusing to bed- started this around 9 months). Now that we are getting to my 7 month old crying every 2 hours for me to nurse him to sleep, I am going to go back to what we did before. If your daughter's nursed, have Daddy go in there when she crys and check on her. Then let her cry for increments of 5, 10, 15, etc. checking on her each time and then leaving. If she is sitting up or standing have your husband lay her back down (as kids often have trouble being able to lay back down after getting up) and console her (without picking her up) and leave. After about 3 tough days, it worked with our #1. Again, make sure your peditrician is telling you there isn't a reason (you might also check teething, unfortunately, that can cause them to wake up uncomfortable or in pain and you migh want to determine if you need to give her tylenol or motrin to ease it) physically for her to need to be up. I have all the books on sleeping, and I don't think (unless you co-sleep) that a nursing mother can do it without crying it out (unless your baby is a sleeper!). We have friends who did the crying it out at 3 months with their nursing son and he sleeps 7 to 7 now. . .I'm not so lucky, but I am an advocate after seeing what a GREAT sleeper my 2 1/2 year old is. Some people have family beds and don't mind sleeping with the baby (which can be an option), but if you want your sleep and space, I would recommend crying it out. I hope you have luck as I totally feel for you after a long night for us as well!

(1) Try nursing before bedtime routine (prior to bath, dressing, etc.)
(2) Have Daddy so the nighttime routine (espeically if you are with her all day and he's working- it will be their time)
(3) Have only Daddy go 'console' or check on her when she wakes up

Good luck!