Help with Ungrateful Friend and a Gift Idea!!!

Updated on April 28, 2008
A.M. asks from Dunlap, IL
9 answers

I have been asked to be a matron of honor for a very good friend of mine who is getting married in May. I started out has a very small wedding but has become pretty huge. They couple is also paying for this wedding which to be honest they will be going very much in to debt over. The mothers are throwing the shower and since it was small I said I would do all of the invites. We have sent out over 70 shower invites!!! I have not been told once thank you and now the grooms mom has noticed that there are two people from out of town who were not on the list and wanted me to go that day and buy more to get them out. Well it would have been better for them to say when you have time and it is really appreciated but no it is more and more away from my family be it money or time. I would not mind if I was not now expected to get a nice gift. Don’t get me wrong I love my friend but it is getting really expensive for everything. For instance, the dress, shoes, hair, and day of stuff is costing us over $300. The room for the night of the wedding is almost $200. The bachelorette party is cost myself over $150 and everyone else who is attending $70. Now the shower invites have cost me about $60 plus I know it will be expected that I bring a gift.
So I was wondering if any of you have ideas on nice personal gifts that don’t cost that much but will have a lot of meaning?
Thanks for all of the support you ladies give!!!

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D.H.

answers from Chicago on

If you still need ideas, I buy a cute recipe box and make copies of all my favorite recipes and put them in it. Takes time, but well worth it!

D.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

The scrap book idea is a great idea. I would really try to look at who your friend is and try to pick something that is her. I have never been married, but one of the nicest gifts I ever received was a large photo frame 24 X 36 of short messages that my friends wrote about me. One of my friends solicated notes to ask people what they liked best about me... she cropped them with some pretty paper and and I have on my wall. When I feel down.. I look at it and remember what some good things people think about me.

You could use this same concept and have people write things about your friend and her Fiance seperately... then you could also have them write things about what they like about both of them together. You could do this with the people at the shower. It might be a nice collage especially if you leave a place for them to put a photo of their wedding.

If you are looking for a purchased gift I would shop around. You can get some beautiful frames from places like TJ MAXX, Stein Mart and Marshall's. It could always be engraved at a place like Things remembered.

If they are a religious family you could get them a family bible with their name on it. ( More Expensive)

Another Idea would be a mantle clock with a plaque with their name and wedding date.

I shop around and you can get nice gifts at these places and even Carson's.

Over all I would remember this... A gift is supposed to be something that is valued because you gave it to her, not the cost or value of it. If she is a true friend she will understand that you are on a budget for her wedding.

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

I have to say, I am very happy to be done with all the weddings. They are expensive and with all that goes on, the amount of work, time and money that goes in from the matron of honor and bridesmaid is never really appreciated. My favorite gift that I rec'd was a scrapbook. One of my bridesmaids had each of my bridesmaids, matron of honor, my mother, my soon to be mother in law and my soon to be husband write me a letter. It is something that I will always treasure. Each page that had a letter, had a picture of me with that person (provided by whoever wrote the letter)
Hope this helps. I have done this for others also, it is something that can't ever be matched!

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E.G.

answers from Chicago on

I loved getting recipe books with recipes from friends and families, and "personal" wedding albums from people who had taken snapshots during the wedding.

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

EEK at all the $$ you have to lay out. I hope your friend appreciates you! I like Erika's idea of putting together a photo album of the wedding reception. You can do those fairly easily and inexpensively using something like Snapfish online. Or put together a book of recipes. Nothing fancy either, you can use a binder with clear plastic inserts or have it bound at Kinko's.

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe she is waiting until everything is all done to show her appreciation? I gave a gift to everybody involved in my bridal shower... i hope you get the recognition you deserve :)

in the meantime..... try things remembered... you can find something inexpensive and have it personalized with an engraving... www.thingsremembered.com

you can buy online or shop at the store.

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S.N.

answers from Chicago on

For a shower gift, my sisters in law who were both in the bridal party and as generous as you gave us a pair of champagne toasting glasses that we used at the reception. It's one of my favorite gifts that we received.

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R.K.

answers from Visalia on

I totally know how you feel! I have 3 sisters and several very dear friends that asked me to bare that honor (and burden). My fave gift to give is a recipe box. I buy a recipe card holder and recipe cards and hand write 75-100 of my favorite recipes. It is time consuming but very well recieved! Throw it in a basket with an apron and some spices and you have a great present for under $20. If you have horrible penmanship, I recommend printing the cards from your computer.
And as far as the other family members are concerned... politely tell them that you went off of the brides list and if they wish to invite more people, give them the information so that they may obtain more (out of their own pocket).

K.F.

answers from Chicago on

If the wedding is May, check out my website for Taste of Home Entertaining. We are known for our incredible cookbooks & have beautiful serving pieces & kitchen prep. products that any new bride would love. Very reasonable prices,& if you wanted to do a home or catalog party, you could earn your gift for free or 1/2 price. That would definitely save you! A party can be very simple-- I've done like coffee & cookies, chips/salsa & margaritas, etc-- very minimal expense & preparation for the host. Let me know if you're interested!

http://kathiefiorillo.tohe.com

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