Help with Sleep

I hate to say it but it sounds like he is sleeping right on track for a 3.5 month old baby. It gets a little better but my daughter who is 15 months still gets up once a night and I have read every baby sleeping book there is. The real key is how you put them to bed, that (according to all the books) is how they learn to soothe themselves back to sleep.

It actually sounds about right- especially if he is breast fed. There is this notion out there that babies sleep through the night at 3 months and if they don't you must be doing something wrong-- and the truth is that many, many babies don't sleep through the night until at least six months if not twelve months-- especially if they nurse at night. Have you tried cosleeping? With both of my kids-- my daughter till she was about 15 months and now my son who currently is seven months-- sleep better with us then in a crib. This way if he needs to nurse I only have to wake up minimally and he sleeps longer with me there. All of the advice books are fine and dandy and all but at the end- you need to follow your gut and give the little guy whatever he needs right now. If he is overall a happy guy, growing well, and has a secure bond to you and his Daddy thats what matters- not trying to get him to sleep 10-12 hours at night-- it will happen eventually. Of course then he will be teething, or having bad dreams.. or..or.all kinds of things that wake up babies at night.. just try and roll with it and enjoy him being this small- it only last a second.

I wouldn't expect a little one as young as yours to be sleeping through the night just yet. They are growing so fast and their bodies need the calories to keep up! You didn't say if you were breastfeeding or not, but I know babies who nurse need to eat more often than babies on formula. Breastmilk is digested much faster (and easier) than formula and nursing babies need to eat more often. My breastfed son didn't sleep through the night until he was seven months old, and even now there are times when he still wakes up in the middle of the night.

There's a book called "Baby 411" that's a great reference for new parents. It's written by a pediatrician and it gives you lots of advice about everything baby related: eating, sleeping, discipline, development, etc. I highly recommend it!

Cosleeping really works! Not only does it protect your baby from 'crib death,' but it helps their psycological health, and...Everyone gets more and better sleep!

A great book to reference: Three In A Bed

We have slept great since the birth of my 2 year old son, and without cosleeping it would have been a different story. Babies in bed can nurse without even waking up mom, too, which is nice. Plus, the snuggling and loving and cuddling is wonderfull and healthy for all.

I know you and your husband are probably so tired. My daughter started sleeping through the night at about 3 - 4 months old. The best thing that worked for me was playing jazz music (she loves Chris Botti)or the nature cd's (Wal-mart has the best on titled Relax). At 2 yrs old she now turns them on herself to sleep and it still works. I've also tried aromatherapy, and still use it for those very hard days. A few drops of lavender oil in the bathwater, works wonders. Also massaging their back and chest about 15mins before bed with it too. Good luck and hope you find some peace.

I wouldn't expect him to sleep through the night until closer to 6 mo. But every baby is different. My oldest didn't sleep through the night until almost 1yo, but my second has been sleeping at least 6-8 hours at a time at night since he was 3mo. But he still wakes up 1-2 times to feed before he is up for the day. And he doesn't nap well but my older son did. Just remember every child is different and maybe he isn't ready to sleep the whole night through. BTW sleeping through the night at this age is considered around 8 hours in a row, not the whole entire stretch. Good luck!

Every child varies in sleeping habits. Find a soother, my daughter had a music box that went off is she got noisy and she would go right back to sleep, there are noise machines with all sorts of soothing sounds. Do not resort to the pacifier if you can help it. Try not running in every time you hear him restless. Swaddling if that is what he needs is great! He will soon get himself undone however as he grows. Some kids are born nappers, thankfully I stuck to a rigid routine with my two kids, they are 3 and 6 now but it was the same time even if not sleeping that I put them down. I also tried to not have the house be super quiet so they learned to sleep with noise. Is he feeding when he gets up? Maybe try stretching it out or feeding him more before naps so he holds over. I never cared for Baby Wise book, there are so many out there I honestly think you just have to find what works individually for your child. Try a music box, nose maker, even a fan running and though it is habit my kids sill need it is a easy one and helps them settle in. Try a bath before bedtime too with the Soothing bedtime lotions, baby massage and make it a ritual nightly. Give him ques it is time to go to sleep. He is still so little it is hard for them to find soothers and get themselves back to sleep even if they need it.

I have been where you are and know how hard it is. My son (who is now 4 1/2 and sleeps all night) wasn't a very good sleeper either. He would sleep about 2 hours at a time at night and take the 30-45 minute naps all day. The sleep deprivation for us mommies is the hardest part. I know the baby wise book is a good book and know people who have used it's principles on all their children and it worked. You have to just keep at it even if it is taking some time. The only other thing I could suggest is maybe he is having a reaction to his formula (if he is on formula). My son ended up being lactose intolerant and once we switched his formula he slept better. Hang in there. It gets much better and you do get to sleep (for more than 2 hours at a time) again. Now ask me if I am going to have another one? And I think, "oh, I don't know if I can handle the sleep deprivation again" lol. Good luck.

S.,

I tried the babywise book about 2 weeks ago with my 9 month old. She is still waking about 2 times a night to nurse. I have tried letting her resettle and this doesn't work. I have tried spacing the intervals out in which she nurses - hoping she would nurse longer when I nurse her. Nothing has worked. Your son is much younger and I think it is normal to be waking that often. My son used to wake one or two times a night to nurse also up until 1 year. I know that wasn't probably what you wanted to hear, but I think night waking is normal. Good Luck and I hope your son and you get some rest.

L.

I have a three month old little boy. He doesn't take very long naps during the day either or very often. We usually put him to bed around 9pm. He still wakes up between 2-4am for a feeding occasionally he will wake up at midnight for an additional one. I am not a big fan of co-sleeping I like snuggling my husband at night so Michael goes to be in his crib till the 2-4am feeding but lately he has been breastfeeding for ever so I bring him to bed with me at that time. It has helped a lot. I tried the same sleep thing I used on my daughter (worked great for her) but my son did take to it. We had to find other things for him to sleep to. I bought some rockabye baby Cd's & the help. Your not alone I sometimes feel like I am going to crash from being tried because my son will not let you swaddle him it makes him so angry but he moves constantly when he is sleeping turning in circles rolling around. All the noise of course comes through the baby monitor so I turned down the volume a little.

I'm on my 5th child, and they all varied. The main thing we tried with all of our children however was to place them in their crib when they were still awake to let them drift off by themselves. If they cried for longer than 10 minutes or so it was usually for a reason. Gas, dirty diaper, too warm or cold, and sometimes they just want cuddles.
I would basically figure out a routine you want him on (keeping in mind hes 3 months old so the more flexible the better) and then start with the placing him down after he's been fed, changed, burped and loved on.
It's alittle tougher at night to let them cry it out till they're used to it, but try subtle lighting and try not to change him unless he's really wet or messy. Try the soft talking and I will also lightly run my finger over their face in patterns so they drift off.
Hope this helps!