Help with School

Do not pull him out. I have dealt with this since my son was in 3rd grade and he is now in 7th grade. It is truly exhausting. We ended up getting help through Learning Rx. It is cognitive skill training (short-term/long-term memory, visual processing, etc.) We were lucky enough they offered it through an after-school program in Lawrence Township. There office is in Carmel and they are opening another in Fishers soon. Just as an example - my son's short-term memory was tested at 3%, when he was done with the 12-week program it was at 84%. I wish we would have done it A LOT earlier.

Definately get him organized. It may be just a case of forgetfulness. Plus, learning organization skills now will really help him later in life. I agree that there is a lot more pressure on kids now, especially if he's in advanced classes. Also, meet with his teacher, if you haven't already. Maybe he/she can give you some more ideas. Good Luck..

Oh my goodness!! When I read your problem, it makes me think about my child and school. He is not in advanced classes but i feel like he doesnt get the help he needs at school and hates to ask for help because he said it makes him feel stupid. I hate to ask this but where does your child go to school at?? I have found that rewarding works if he brings homework home and turns it on time he gets a mommy day we go out to eat his choice and maybe movie or go play video games. but this is for the whole month hope this helps. Let me if you need anything else

Girl, I have been there. My son is 10 and school has been an issue with him as well. He would forgot to turn assignments in or forget to bring homework home and I would always take him back to school to get it or call around to see if any of his friends had the same assignment so he wouldn't lose any points. Finally I realized that I was not helping him, I was hindering him because he wasn't learning any responsiblity. This year which is fourth grade he has made huge changes and is doing so much better but I had to let him stumble so that he could figure it out. When he received grades on late papers he could see the score he would have had if had been turned in on time. Sorry this is so long but I completely understand your frustration. So maybe if you let him stumble so that he has to face the outcome he will realize how important these things are.

Hi J.--The problems you describe with Trevor's organizational abilities remind me very much of my 9-year-old daughter with attention deficit. She also has a learning disability, which it sounds like Trevor does not, so count your blessings there. If Trevor does have attention deficit, your husband may be right that it is "just him," but at the same time you're right that he needs help. The world of education really opened up for my daughter when she came to understand more about her challenges and how to deal with them. It seems Trevor is very bright but just doesn't fit the system, and it is unfortunately unlikely that you will be able to change the system. I just want to encourage you that when it comes to trouble with the system, it is not just you. I had such a difficult time trying to get teachers in public school to appreciate my daughter's differences and give her the help she needed--and I DID try--that I started homeschooling her at third grade, one of the most challenging and rewarding decisions I've ever made. If you are at the point of considering alternatives to public school, homeschool might be worth at least some consideration. Most people won't consider it because they worry about social issues, but there are homeschool groups that meet regularly, there are clubs like Boy Scouts and 4-H, and my daughter's relationships with friends of all ages have improved dramatically now that we've removed the frustrations of the system from her life, not to mention her huge academic improvements. If Trevor does have attention deficit, it is important for everyone in his life to realize that his disorganization is NOT lack of motivation or outright defiance and that he can be taught methods to help himself. To find out more about attention deficit, I recommend the SchwabLearning Web cite. There is also a product called a WatchMinder with a Web cite. It is a watch with a vibrating alarm that can be programmed to remind a student to turn in assignments, write down homework, and so on. A student just naturally responds better to a faceless reminder than to an upset parent. I sure hope some of this helps you and Trevor!--J.

I think your son needs positive reinforcement and mabye some help changing a habit.

I would ask yourself, "am I spending the appropriate amount of time assiting with his studies?" "What does he respond best too? rewards or special activities?"

try taking a few more minutes every evening and implimenting a NEW plan of attack. sit him down, tell him what is expected and that you are going to help him get back on track. Find out what types of things does he feel are his strenghts... and remind him that he is doing better. (and often)

I promise you, if you take the time to not just ask about things but to engage yourself in his world he will respond in a positive way. Also remember, it takes 30 days (or more) to start a new habit. Stick with it... don't slack or yell. Just treat him as if he is capable and use positive reinforcement.

but that's my two cents worth... I hope it helps. My daughter tried slacking on her homework, etc. and now I make it a point that we both sit down and pull everything out of her backpack and i have her tell me what she needs to do with things. That way she has the experience and confidence to do it on her own!

=) good luck!

Are you familiar with Flylady? She has a website that is all about establishing routines and getting rid of CHAOS in your life. She has a student control journal that helps kids to get organized and learn how to deal with everyday life. My kids love their control journals. Check it out and see if it sounds like something that might help you and your son. Here is the website www.flylady.net if you need help finding the student control journal there is a Google box on the left of the screen, you may have to scroll down just a little, just enter Student control journal and it will do a search of the flylady website. Good luck and I hope this helps....... A.

I would try positive rewards. Remind your son about putting his name on his papers so he gets the grade instead of getting no grade for no name. I would also remind him as you drop him off to turn in his homework. Ask his teacher if she can write in an agenda (assuming the school uses this system) and tell him on days he remembers to turn in his homework he gets a treat. You can go to a dollar tree, or some place similar and pick up little trinkets for a dollar, and put them in a treasure box. When the child turns in his homework he gets to pick a prize.

when my daughter was 8-11 she had the same problem. I even had teachers tell me that she was ADD. My husband, like yours, disagreed with me and the teachers. I was just following the teachers advice , which was supposed to be the best, and i had her tested. The guidelines said that my daughter fell into the ADD category. My husband, who still disagreed with this, suggested a routine and schedule for her. I set her up on a schedule and had a check-list for her to check off everyday when she did the things that needed to be done. I refused to go back to school to pick up her homework or books, and refused to bring in her homework and books that she would forget daily. I took them into her for the first 2 years thinking i was helping. ONe of the check points was to pack her homework and backpack up before bed so it was together and all she had to do was grab her back pack. I had to be diligent and patient and willing to work with her. she cleaned her locker out every Friday so that she could reorganize before Monday. There were other issues but i think i am getting my point across. She is now 14 and going in high school next year and doing remarkable well, without any ADD meds. She has a 3.6 gpa and isnt the best organizer but she has changed trememdously. I wasnt willing to give up on her and was willing to work with her and help her. Meds are given out too easily these days and i didnt want that for her either. Good luck and God bless!

I would have him fill out an organizer/calendar with all the homework that is due and have his teacher sign it. Then you can check it each night and make sure what needs to be done is done.

It sounds like alot of work but organization and turning things in on time is a lesson that needs to be learned for adult life!