Help with Potty Training - Salt Lake City,UT

Read the book Toilet Training in a Day. It works with the mentally retarded, and it works with children. It has a list of readiness factors, so if he is truly not ready, you know what to work on. It is a great training method. The book was written maybe 30 years ago, the newer books and methods of the day are really just variations of this book. Good luck.

set a timer for every 30 min. Take him to the bathroom. Make it a game. See if he can beat you to the bathroom when the timer goes off. I did this with my children then were not interested at first but once I made a game out of it they became excited. Good Luck

I went through the same thing with my son. He is now six and potty trained. We would start and stop because he wasn't interested. We started the same time frame you did. It went on like that until he was 5 when he decided he was ready and then it took about a month and it was easy because it was his choice and he would come and tell us. Hope this helps. Good luck!!

I know you've gotten a lot of great tips, but I think the most important one is to just hold off for now until he's more ready. I tried the same thing with my son (will be 3 in November) and similar results - he knows when he's gone, but none of the tricks that anyone has ever written or suggested (trust me, I've tried them ALL) did anything. So, I stopped pressuring him - when he's ready, he'll do it. As they say, they won't be going to kindergarten with diapers. So, my best advice is just step back and let him go at his own pace - maybe try again in another month and see how he does then and if he's not ready then, wait another month, and so on. He'll get it - while it may not be on your timetable, he'll get there. Good luck to you!!

The only thing I can think of may be a bit messy...
Take off his diaper while your just hanging around the house. He won't like going on himself and will most likely start telling you before instead of after :0) Also could try big boy gos potty type books. And give him a big boy job or big boy reward for going on the pot. Maybe get him some new big boy undies that he really likes that he gets rewarded with for doing good.
Good Luck,
S.

I am a father of ten. let him hang out Ala crate this summer, (No clothes) it helps if papa teaches him to pee out side or has a poty party all the boys go racing to the bathroom to go. it makes it a game and fun. he needs to be aware of what going is and how it feels. come fall he should not like the way being wet feelswhen he is dressed and start using the poty. if ala carte is not an option try cloth diapers. either way here you can't force. he will learn in his own good time. all you can do is help that be sooner. he will be trained when he is ready

Just stop trying. Have a big boy reward for when he does, if he doesn't then be matter of fact about it and he doesn't get big boy priviledges until he is a true "big boy" for my son, wanting a transformer (he deemed a big boy toy) was enough incentive for him on his third bday to really do it. It was done 100% in two weeks, no joke.
Boys can take longer and are harder to train and it can lead to a bigger power struggle.
Just do pullups, have some cool big boy underwear on hand when he is ready but let it go for now. I started with my son in May 07, he turned 3 in July 07, so it was off and on and when I gave up and told him if he really wanted a transformer then we had to work on it. He came to me and stated he was ready right before he turned 3, I started putting him on the potty every hour and a half and it was done. Two weeks after that he was in underwear at night. By Sept of 07, NOT one accident, done!
DO NOT ASK A CHILD if they have to go, they will almost always say "NO", just set him on the potty every hour and a half and be consistent, it takes time and patience but it will pay off!!!!

Sounds like a battle of the wits. As they get closer to three, the have more intelligence and you have to be tricky with your approach. How can you make it his idea? we used a bit or peer pressure from older siblings and cousins to help ours along. Also, I learned on my second one to not start with the end result in mind. Instead, we started by getting excted about hand washing after changing a diaper, meals, etc. we all did it and made it fun. then we taught him to pull on and off elastic pants (tossed all button types). Next we did the potty with bath time and before bed with everyone again (sibling pressure..wants to be big) the rest sort of took care of itself which was nice. I do admit we haven't gotten bed time yet as we went on vacation and back tracked a bit. but we had so much les stress leting it be kid driven as opposed to parent driven.

I have a 16 yr old son & a 2 yr old girl.....I can tell you this.....you are not training them....they are training you....my daughter sits on the potty...takes one piece of TP...wipes and throws it in and flushes. She knows what she's supposed to do.....I just think she wants the attention of being changed.....I don't know how to break her either, but I do know that whatever u choose to do....be consistent...they will come around.
I will be in CO on july 31..driving from IN so my baby girl can visit her daddy before they send him to Iraq again. I'm looking for someone I can trust to watch Ava while me & daddy have some adult time. U can e-mail me directly @ The ____@____.com.....or call ###-###-#### (I can call u back...I have free long distance)
Thanks......A.

Sounds like you are trying all of the right things. It also sounds like he is not quite ready. But he's close. Keep doing what you're doing. Have him around his peers who are potty training or already trained. Peer pressure can work sometimes. I would take away the diapers. Try pull-ups, underwear, and letting him run around bare-bottomed. Let him watch you and your husband use the potty. Sometimes monkey-see, monkey-doo works. Also, I would ignore it when he is not successful. I would make a big deal out of it when he is successful. Kids want attention. Give him attention for the right things, and he'll try to repeat it. If you're giving him attention for the wrong things, he'll keep repeating that. Try and be patient. It is not a reflection on you or him. It's a process. He'll get it eventually.

I think you're actually trying to train him a little too early. He is showing some signs of readiness (i.e. awareness of bodily functions), but he doesn't WANT to. He also may know when it's happened, but doesn't recognize the urge before it's too late.

According to WebMD, the average boy is fully potty trained at 38 months, which would be around Christmastime for your ds.

If it were me, I would let him pick out some big boy underpants. Then, each morning, let HIM choose if he wants to wear a diaper or underpants. Make sure he knows you would like him to wear big boy underwear, but that it's ok if he wears a diaper.

I would also buy a fairly impressive toy for him, and keep it where he can easily see it multiple times a day, and let him know when he wears his big boy underwear all the time, and goes peepee and poopoo in the potty, it'll be his to play with. I also bought M&Ms as a reward for each time they went on the potty. Two or three if they actually produced results while sitting on the potty.

Best of luck to you. One thing I HAVE learned is potty training is a million times easier if your child is on board and wants to be out of diapers. Otherwise, it's a horrible losing battle. Trust me, it's just not worth it.

I have not had a chance to read all the responses, so I apologize if I am repeating anyone! That sounds like the same age my son was when he was potty trained. There were a few things we did that really seemed to work. At the time, he liked Elmo and there was a great Elmo doll that came with a book, a bottle and a potty. Elmo would sing about going potty and the urge to go and so forth. My son loved this (it also worked with my daughter). Another thing we did was bought some great toys that were only to be played with while he was on the potty. Sometimes he would sit there for 30 minutes just so he could play - and most of the time, he went to the bathroom! Once he was potty trained he was allowed to play with the toys whenever and where ever! This was a great incentive or him. I also remember getting frustrated, but I tried to make it a positive experience as best I could. Once he started going and understanding when he needed to go, we permanently switched to underwear - this seems to have made a huge imapact on him. Good luck!

My son was the same way. I finally just put him in underwear and let him wet and poop and he didn't really like it. I also used really big rewards for actually going in the potty, especially poop. I used the small baby food jars and for every time he went, he got a penny, 2 pennies for poop. When the jar was full, he got to go to this really big sporting goods store in our home town that has a ferris wheel and a jungle gym inside, he got to play and ride the ferris wheel and pick out a new basketball. It only took him a week. He was very defiant at first and would pee his pants right in front of me, or wait until I was busy with dinner or on the phone and poop in his pants right in front of me. But it didn't take long and he realized that I was going to stick to my guns and he started going in the potty. He was just over 3 when we did this. Before we started, we went shopping and I let him pick out his new underwear with all his favorite characters on them. But be really positive, be really consistent, and he will get it. :) Good luck!

The first thing I would suggest is get rid of the diaper and put him in underwear.(Pull-ups are the same as a diaper to a kid...they learn that really fast and you may end up back where you started) Don't use it except for bed time and maybe long car trips. Kids are VERY smart and he knows that he's wearing a diaper, so why should he bother peeing/pooping in the potty. It may take a couple days of accidents for him to realize he's not wearing a diaper, so be prepared for some accidents. I did the taking my son to the potty every 30 minutes for a couple days and it didnt take too long for him to catch on. The most important thing is not to confuse him or give in by putting him back in a diaper, it will just make potty training take longer. My son was 2 months past his 2nd birthday, so while some boys may take longer, if you are patient and willing to give him the extra attention this needs he can do it.

Hi J.,
Cheerios or fish shaped crackers as targets in the toilet are a lot of fun and makes it more interesting for little boys. You may want to try keeping the diaper off while at home during the day and if he pees or poops somewhere other than the toilet he has to help do clean up. Sounds extreme but makes a quick point.
Good luck,
SarahMM

Hi J.,

My son will be 3 then end of September and I thought we'd never get out of diapers. All of his "girlfriends" were potty trained by this point.

I think what was so important was to not put my expectations or a timeline on them. We tried in January and it was too soon. So we tried again in May and the timing was perfect.

It's normal for them to poop in there pants and then tell you. It's part of the process of associating. He'll get it. It's also normal for them to have 5 great days and the have an accident.

L.

Sounds like you have had a lot of good advice so far. I will just tell you what we did with our 4 year old boy. He was much harder to potty train than our daughter. He was almost 4, and I thought he would never get it. We did a sticker chart, which didn't help. I set a timer one day and took him to the potty every hr, feed him lots of juice and popsicles ( I just wanted him to experience one time going on the potty)He didn't go for hours! Then just after he had sat ont he potty, he peed in his underwear! AGGHHH. Then I tried every 15 minutes, with the same results! I think it just took him a really long time to connect the feeling of having to go, and then actually getting to the potty. Finally I had this idea, we went to target and I let him pick out any toy, any toy in the whole store that he wanted. I told him, this is your reward for going X amount of times in the potty. Then when we got home, I put it on top of the fridge. He whined a bit, but I reminded him that the toy was his big reward for being a big boy. That was it, he held his pee for like 8 hours, then all of a sudden he went in the potty. And he has been potty trained ever since, not a single accident, not even at night! It was like a switch got turned on in his brain, I just don't think he understood what that feeling of having to go was. Good Luck!

He's just not ready! They really do have to decide 'when', and boys are often older than girls. 3 is not an unusual age for a boy. All you can do is talk to him casually about how it works, have dad give demo's, etc. But if you push or pressure him, you may end up with a power struggle on your hands which will only delay the process longer. You really can't 'make' him do this. He is probably answering your question of 'why' that way, because he doesn't know how else to answer. He most likely doesn't know 'why'. Just relax, there is no deadline, and he WILL get there.

My son will be 4 in October and he just potty trained a couple of months ago. I thought he would NEVER get it. I told my mom and everyone that he would never start school because he just wasn't getting it. He showed no interest and kept peeing his pants. My sister said one day, he would just "get" it! I read one of the Supernanny's books, also, and she said that pull-ups just confuse the issue. I took my son out of pull-ups altogether and just used big-boy underwear day and night. (She says if they're not making it through the night, use diapers at night time). We put Cheerios in the potty and daddy showed him how to sink the Cheerios. One night, I told him to try to go potty before bed so he wouldn't have an accident in his bed, and that was the first time he went in the potty and he's done it ever since. We had to deal with quite a few accidents before he got it, but he realized big boy underwear feel AWFUL when they're wet, and a wet bed meant sleeping on the floor, which he didn't like, either.

Another thing Supernanny said, was don't STOP training once you've started for ANY reason. If you're going to the grocery store, leave him in big-boy underwear and ask him repeatedly at the store if he has to go. It might be inconvenient for you, and outings will take longer, but you have to stick with it no matter what's going on. If you're going out of town, it may mean stopping at every town to try to make him go.

Hope it helps! He will "GET IT" one day. They just do!

put him in underwear. He'll learn really quickly that its gross

Try letting him go outside... this worked great for my friend whose son was also 3. While the weather is good... let daddy show him how to wiz on a tree.

Our second son was doing great, and then regressed. We completely backed off, and within a few days, he trained himself. For my boys, I always had my husband take them with him to the restroom whenever (almost). That way it was a special boy thing and it helped them become "big boys". Ignore when he doesn't do it (and I would also try underpants - no more diapers) but make it big when he does have a success. My kids loved getting temp. tattoos; on a good day they were covered!

YES I can help! My son is almost 3 & potty trained for 6 months. He was a toughy though. The first thing is this, usually kids will show a short lived interest at first with the rewards etc, but then they dont care, especially boys, they dont care. SO my wonderful daycare owner, in the business 14 years, gave me some tips that worked (because my daughter was so easy to train) . THE FIRST ONE! You can NOT under any circumstances expect a kid to potty train in a diaper, or pull up- THEY WONT! its too comfy and dry. You have to put them in real undies, maybe with the plastic over them, or if you are out and about the pull up OVER the undies. They have to feel the absolute annoiance of being soiled and wet. Then you make them clean up, of course you watch, but you make them take off their pants, them take off their undies, wipe themselves off, wash off the undies, they get annoyed and cry and you just calmly talk them through, "Well you have to go in the potty and then you stay dry and clean" I always had my son touch his dry undies with his hands and say 'are you dry?" then give him hi five! Then when he wet, make him feel that with his hand too and say "aw man, your all wet, you have to clean up now" OF COURSE after they clean up you do your clean up too for sanitary reasons, but I tell you they get soooo tired of this. Then the massive praise they get from being clean and dry is two fold. ALSO the hardest thing to potty training IS YOUR PATIENCE and willingness to have lots of mess for some few short weeks or months. Its hard, we want the dry and perfectly easy pull up or diaper but it doesnt work that way, ask an old timer! LOL! Also YOU have to get in the rigourous habit of taking them to the potty every hour! This way they get that positive influence on the good job they do when dry. And if you have a day care provider they HAVE to be on board it has to be consistant. Also I kept a crate in the bathroom so I could just hand wash the undies and hang them to air dry on the crate, otherwise your doing way too much laundry for little undies. Gets lots too, like 10-15 pairs:) Of course most boys cant train overnight or during naps until older, but a pull up for nap, have em pee first and reward them if their dry when they wake, but just say 'aw man' if not:) HOPE THAT HELPS! IT HELPED ME, and I love my little trained boy and the cost of saved diaper money!

Boys just take longer than girls. My son did the same thing as yours. We just let him tell us when he was ready. Sometimes we had diaper days and other days we had toilet days. Just after 3 1/2 he decided he was ready and was completely trained within a week. No stickers, no rewards. He just did it. You could continue to try, but I felt like it was just easier to wait until he was ready. As another friend of mine put it, he won't go to kindergarten in diapers.
J.

You're dating a great guy...you've talked about marriage a little bit, sometime in the future, you're falling more in love but want to take things slow, figure out if he's really the 'one' and if you can do this for a lifetime. Then one day, out of the blue, he asks you to marry him. Every hour. He calls, he texts, he emails. He's driving you bananas. Will you marry me, will you marry me, will you marry me??? He's gotten to the point of harassment, leaving rings wherever you go, promising you lavish vacations if you just marry him already!! What do you do? Run for the hills, of course. Why all of the sudden would he go nuts about marriage when things were moving along so nicely?

Now put yourself in your childs shoes in the context of potty training. He's learning about the potty. How does it work, how does he get ready to go aka, getting pants off, sitting, thinking about going, wiping, etc. Does he need someone to say, go potty! go potty! go potty! Without allowing him the time to work things out for himself. Its a lot to think about and remember and its a lot easier done in very small stages with no pressure, gentle guidance, but not force. Is this something he can do himself? Is he ready? Those are the things he's considering.

Getting worked up, pressuring, tricking, and going through all the contortions of getting him to go on the potty (especially when he's not even 3!) just makes the road a whole lot rougher for both of you.

Try and look at things from his perspective a little. And remember its his body to control. GL.

I would let him be and keep him in a diaper (or pull up). Don't get mad, just remind him about the potty everytime he goes. When he does start going in the potty, give him a treat REGARDLESS of the time of day. I used this method with my son.

If he has any friends that are trained already, schedule some playdates and when the friend goes, reinforce it. Read books on potty training.

I know someone who's son was almost 4 before he was trained. He was similar to your son - no interest, but would tell you when he went in his diaper. She just let him be.

Good Luck!

Our son turned 3 in April and we had to go through several things to figure out what worked best for him. The one thing that worked for him were stickers/ toys after 5 stickers, but he just wasn't consistent. Because he was doing it about 60-70% of the time, daycare suggested bringing underwear and they would change him as needed. It worked in 3 days. He didn't like being wet or poopy. Obviously not everything works with every child, especially if they aren't ready, but I guess it's worth a try! Good luck to you! :-)-S.

I would suggest this link:

http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Potty-Train-a-Child/

Let it go, he's not ready and it's not a battle you will win. We potty trained our son starting somewhere around 2 1/2.. but very low key but it works a little here and there. It wasn't until the week after he turned three that HE decided (not me or his dad) that he only wanted to wear big boy underwear and that's what he did. We had accidents for a few weeks but ultimately he was full potty trained during the day. He's over 4 now .. he still wears pull ups at night but I figure when HIS body is ready he'll do it......

Good luck