Help with Nursing and Bottle Feeding.

Updated on April 29, 2010
D.D. asks from Arlington, TX
16 answers

I have a 13 week old baby girl. I have been nursing her since the first day she was born. I felt so blessed that she caught on fast and was doing really well with it. I went back to work March 29th (baby 9 wks old when I went back to work) and have been pumping while I am at work and then nursing when I home. She gets 3 bottles while I am at work that my husband and aunt feed her and I nurse the rest of the feedings once I am home. For about 2 weeks after going back to work I thought everything was going great with her nursing and bottle feeding. Then I noticed she was getting fussy only around her 7pm nursing time. I am going to a breast feeding group meeting every Tuesday and have discussed this with the mom’s. They thought it was possibly reflux. My daughter hardly spits up. The mom’s said it could be just coming up to her throat only, she swallows it and that makes her throat burn. I have not taken my daughter to the doctor yet to see for sure if it is reflux. Well this week has really been tuff on me because now she is getting fussy at most of her nursing times. She will not latch on and when she does she will drink for a little bit and then take her mouth off and just start crying. It is not a fussy cry, she has tears pouring from her eyes. Could it be that she is so hungry and she is frustrated that she is not getting the milk fast enough? Could it possibly be the reflux? I even switch breast and sometimes that helps, but not always. I have asked my husband and aunt to feed the milk in the bottle very slowly, making her work for it so that it hopefully is the same as feeding from me. They have been doing this for a couple of weeks. I want to be able to nurse her until she is a year old. I know I can continue to pump and feed her that way, but I want to be able to do both. I love our time together when I am nursing her. This week has really brought me to tears because I don’t want her to stop nursing and I think it is coming to that. I have given in a couple of times this week and made a bottle for her so that she will stop crying and actually eat. Is there any mom’s that have experienced this and found a way to help their baby to do both nursing and bottle feeding? She will be my only baby and nursing her means so much to me.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with Kathy V. Please contact a lactation consultant. Sharon Mattes is great at working with Moms and babies. You're doing a great job! Hang in there!!!

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A.R.

answers from Austin on

It sounds like nipple confusion to me. My daughter did this around 20 weeks. She also has severe reflux & your issue doesn't sound
like that at all. Is your baby also doing this on weekends when you have been home & nursing all weekend. I would recommend contacting a lactation consultant. Some people say nipple confusion doesn't exist. It does!! I was blessed to be able to stay home so that is what I did in order to continue nursing. I know it isn't possible for everyone but a lactation consultant should have some great options for you. Medically it was also necessary for me to nurse & I wasn't able to pump enough to bottle feed. Hope you find a solution soon.

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M.K.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

Remember that babies change their schedules all the time and it sounds like to me that she is either not hungry or tired. Try to figure out which one like on a day when you are home so you can see her patterns. And try to be flexible with the schedule if possible.

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

You might want to switch bottles. The Breastflow bottle by First Years worked great for us.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

Does she have nipple confusion? I'd recommend the Breastflow bottle with the stage one nipple made by The First Years. Also, I'd run your situation by a lactation consultant. They're usually free at the hospital you where you delivered.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Its very possible to do both bottle feeding and nursing successfully. To me it doesn't sound like reflux but more that she's either too hungry or too tired.

You may want to try nursing her before she's too hungry or too tired.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Unfortunately, it does sound to me like she's frustrated she's not getting milk fast enough from your breasts. If your daughter is happy after getting a bottle, then reflux doesn't seem likely to me. My first son wasn't gaining weight with just nursing, so at three weeks I needed to start supplementing him with a bottle. I would give him the bottle after nursing him. I also have a slow let-down, and as he got older he would cry and cry as I nursed him because he wasn't getting enough. Nevertheless, I was able to continue to nurse at least some until past 7 months (then, I gave up). If possible, I would suggest nursing her earlier / more often. She might be more willing to work for it if she's not starving. Also, try to be as relaxed as possible when nursing her ... go to a dark room, if possible, and close your eyes ... I think relaxing really helps with let-down. If you are worried at all about your milk supply, then you might want to pump for 5-10 minutes after nursing to increase your supply. There are also herbal remedies (e.g. fenugreek) and prescription meds that can increase your supply. It sounds like you are already doing this, but make sure you have slow release nipples on your bottles. One other idea: is there any chance she is teething? Its a bit early, but some babies get their teeth by 13 weeks. I think nursing is harder on tender gums than bottles. Good luck! I hope you can continue to successfully nurse!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I was able to do both successfully...it just takes patience. You may want to check to see if she is too tired or too hungry when this happens. She may also just need to decompress at the end of the day and gets cranky. We went through this for awhile with my daughter and after playing with her schedule and letting her relax after her day we made it through. Good Luck!

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion of reflux if it's not a constant problem. Reflux would be more than just a once/day event as the stomach acid moves back up into the esophagus.

I would recommend calling the pediatrician though.

My goal was to nurse both of my kids to a year. I made it without problems with my son, but my daughter had to stop at 12 weeks because I had to start chemo. It was surprisingly easy for me under those circumstances, and she thrived on formula.

I hope you don't have to come to that, but if you do, have peace in knowing you did the best thing for her so far by nursing.

I'd tough it out as long as possible and not give up on the nursing until it's completely evident that you need to stop. But, your bonding experience with your child will not be compromised by not nursing any longer - having been there, I can promise you.

Good luck!

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K.V.

answers from Dallas on

What does she do over the weekend? How does she do during night feedings. Baby's often will go back to the breast best when they are sleepy. That may help her to learn to enjoy the breast more than she is right now. She is also likely impatient with waiting for the let down from the breast.

However, if breastfeeding is important to you; and it sounds like it is, please call a professional Lactation Consultant before you get all kinds of misinformation from well meaning mothers. A Lactation Consultant KNOWS the answers and has evidence based research behind her. I would suggest you go to www.naturalbeginningsonline.com and contact Sharon Mattes right away. She has 30+ years as a professional. She will personally (I mean in person) evaluate your baby, her latch, your breast etc. to give you the solution to your problem.

K. Voigtsberger
Certified Birth Doula(DONA)
Certified Bradley Method Educator
Breastfeeding Trainer

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V.B.

answers from Dallas on

This happens sometimes when a nipple on a bottle is introduced. Have you called LeLetche League and asked for help? They meet once a month and are helpful for nursing mom's.

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

I want to encourage you to continue nursing through this frustrating period. It is wonderful for you and so healthy for her ~ don't give up! It does sound like she is having an easier time with the bottle, and that she may not be getting the milk as quickly when nursing. If it was reflux, I think the problem would happen after a bottle, as well. I'd suggest you talk with a lactation consultant. Your breastfeeding group may be able to recommend one, or you could call the hospital where you delivered, or your local La Leche League. They are usually very helpful with these issues, and may give you tips you haven't heard. Of course, I would be in contact with the dr. and make sure there isn't a physical problem, but it really sounds like she's finding the bottle easier than the breast. Best of luck, and enjoy your precious angel!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I will recommend to read more about reflux and make an appt with your Pedi. My daughter had Reflux and needed Medicine for a yr. I noticed she was fussy sometimes when I breastfeed her and sometimes I used to give her the bottle and she used to drink it so fast like she wanted to swallow it because she was on pain. Also, she used to curve when she was crying, I guess it was because the pain on her throat.
My other recommendation is teething!! When my daughter was teething she used to latch on and instanly move away the breast crying. Then I used Orajel for the pain :-)

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L.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi Deborah -
I was in a similar situation with both my children. I find with my son, who I am nursing now, that if he's not really hungry, he'll exhibit the behaviors you mentioned. Especially around 7pm... I wonder if he's just tired? If at all possible, try to make sure she's nice and hungry when you get home. It might mean they only give her a small bottle (2oz) if its within 2 hours of you coming home. I get home at 5:30p and nurse my son then. He's ready for bed by 7pm. He's a little older than your daughter ( 23 weeks), but I think she's telling you she's tired, not hungry.

Also... from someone who managed it... you can breast and bottle feed for a year! Try not to worry, it will work out. I know how you feel... I was the same with my first (a daughter), but it all turned out fine. I weaned her right before her first birthday.

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

It almost sounds as though she's overtired, hungry and frustrated that she's not getting milk as fast as she does with a bottle. It also sounds like it started started right around the "average" growth spurt age of 10 to 11 weeks so it could also be that she's looking for more to eat, have you increased the amount she's fed during the day? It could be that she's so hungry by 7 pm she just doesn't have the patience for your milk to let down. See if increasing the amount she gets in each of her bottles by an ounce or two during the day helps.
It does not sound like reflux, believe me, I'm a mommy of a reflux baby. We've tried MANY different things and it's just now, at 9 months subsiding and we're seeing a much happier baby. (And I've never had to do so much laundry in my life!) Even silent reflux would have shown when she was younger and would show at just about every feeding. Her weight gain also wouldn't be quite on par with what they expect to see.

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A.M.

answers from Wichita Falls on

It could be that she is frustrated because the milk isn't coming down fast enough. You might try pumping with a hand pump while holding her until your milk lets down then latch her to the breast. Once the milk lets down, it comes out more rapidly and will satisfy her desire to get more faster. I never set my children up on a set feeding schedule when I was breastfeeding. I just watched their cues and when they showed signs of hunger - rooting, sucking on a hand, and fussing then I would nurse them. You might consider this instead of trying to stick to a firm schedule.
Good luck

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