Help with My Youngest

Updated on July 16, 2008
D.W. asks from Sherwood, AR
10 answers

my first who is 4 is the easiest child and my last is 2 and he is alot harder all around on top of everything you are going through my son hits kicks scratches head butts and bites. my 4 year old is tired of it and he does it to my husband and I too. we again do not fight all the time and we dont do it in front of the children. My husband is in the air force and about to deploy and I do not know what i am going to do with him. he can be the sweetest thing in the world and in a split second decide to be a fart. He also is difficul in the medical sense (he has asthma, and allergies ans allergid to peanuts and peanut butter). But the thing i am really having a problem with is his sleeping. I average 4 hours a night on a bad night and 6 on a good and he screams uncontrollably. The doctor said since he is car sick alot children that have car sickness also are proned to migraine headaches because their equalibrium is messed up. he does not take medicine at all and i have forced it his it in food and drink and tried everything. PLEASE HELP!! I NEED SLEEP! oh and sibling rivalry has begun!

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answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi D.,

This may sound a bit on the wild side as your 4-yo doesn't appear to be affected; however, your 2-yo is and one of the main culprits could very easily be what you use to clean house and do laundry. My grandson is one of 4 and appears to be the only one affected in his house - also asthma and allergies. HOWEVER, when he is at my house for the summer, he doesn't need his 'drugs' and about the only difference between his house and mine are the cleaners I use and the fact that I also use an air purifier. Up until about 4 years I was totally ignorant of the many dangerous chemicals I was using thinking I was 'cleaning' my house - couldn't be further from the truth.

The following link is to a 30-minute very enlightening video and after that I'm giving you an additional link where you can check out the products you use to learn of their health hazards (if there are any).

Toxic Brew

To find out what’s lurking on your shelves, go to the National Institutes of Health Library of Medicine Household Products Database. You can search almost any brand of cleaner as well as personal care products you use, find out what’s in them, and uncover their links to health effects. Or search by chemical ingredients (see list below for some examples) and discover what brands contain it. The information may shock you.

Chemical ingredients to look out for:
• Sodium hydroxide
• Hydrochloric acid
• Butyl cellosolve (2-Butoxyethanol)
• Formaldehyde
• Bleach (sodium hypochlorite)
• Ammonia
• Sulfamic acid
• Petroleum distillates
• Sulfuric acid
• Lye (potassium hydroxide)
• Morpholine

If you have any questions, I would be happy to help guide you to a potentially healthier home and restful nights.

God Bless,

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Lafayette on

D., as a chiropractor, I would suggest chiropractic care for your son. I know that it helps greatly with asthema and migraines. Many parents report that their children sleep better after they come for their adjustments. If equilibrium is part of the problem, he probably has ear infections and fluid in his ears that would benefit from the adjustments and children respond to treatment very fast and it is not nearly as scary as many people believe. (My 1 year old foster son has been getting adjustments since we got him at 5 days old and he laughs as I adjust him.) I agree with other responses that say check the food allergies, if there is one then there is usually several others and they can make you very sick and kids responses to them vary greatly. Good luck with everything.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Tulsa on

Your second child has food issues. You said he's allergic to peanuts? I'd bet money that's not all he's allergic to. If you get on a filtered water system to take out the chlorine, get rid of all chocolate and carbonated soda's, SUGAR and red dyes and cow milk. Then after two weeks or so, experiment. Give him 4 red mnm's. Wait 24 hours. If he has problems you know he's got allergies to red dye. I've known several kids that red dye makes them aggressive and violent. Don't forget to experiment with the other foods. I have a girl friend with six kids. ONE had a milk allergies bad enough it almost killed him. It caused asthma, hives and swollen tounge.

How many times does he poo? If he eats three times a day, he should poo three times a day. Same for adults. Migraines can be caused from vertigo, but more often they are a food passage issue. If you need to, add just a touch of ground flax seed to his breakfast.

Some of these issues will be curtailed from the food. But he also needs to understand that the behavior, regardless of reason, isn't acceptable. Be firm and use time out.

Your husband being gone is a big factor but there are thousands of military boys and girls who do not get to be violent cause dad's gone. He has to learn this.

Newayz, these are just some thoughts.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Tulsa on

I am a mother of 4, 2 married, 1 is 5 and a 2 year old son. The 2 year old stage is hard sometimes and combine with the asthma medication can be even harder! Some 2 years old do bite and hurt others not measuring the results of their acts. When my 2 years old started hurting his sister, I used soft spanking, talking to him, asking him to say sorry, and we always pin point that what he did hurt. He stopped biting and ocasionally tries to hit but we can see improvement. Both my husband and me, hug our kids a lot and kiss them. We tell them how much we love them often, everyday. and we laugh and play with them when our strength still there!
Praise your son when he is calm, try to develop a routine, simple but consistent.
If you notice that his conduct gets worse in spite of your efforts and time. I suggest to check on his hearing, and have him evaluated by a child development specialist. Some people had tried a chiropractor with little children, it has help with possible migraines, sleep disorders.
Everything we do should be covered by lots of faith in God, and God's love! Hope you can experience God's strength and guidance, especially once your husband is deploy.

You'll be in my prayers, hugs,



answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi D.,

I agree with what others have said. The pre-packed food we give our kids is full of dangerous chemicals. Just take a look at the labels. I just realized this myself a few months ago when I was serving pancakes to my kids and happened to look at the ingredient label of the pancake syrup. There was not any actual maple syrup in there, just a bunch of cheap, processed junk mixed together to taste like the real thing. So I got to thinking, what not just buy the real thing. So that is what I have been doing. Even sliced cheese is imitation junk. So now I just go to the deli and have the cheese sliced so I know I am gettign the real stuff. Look at all of the labels... even ketchup my goodness is not the real thing. I shop for organic stuff now and many times I can find the real stuff right in the grocery store.

Also, all of the cleaning products and laudry detergents most of us use are full of toxins. Start using natural stuff... do a search on the web, you can clean with regular white vinegar and use baking soda as an abrasive. I use regular peroxide as a whitener for laundry.

I hope this all helps.



answers from Tulsa on

Oh my gosh! You have your hands full. I can relate. I am a former military wife. First of all, I would consider a second opinion. 2 yr. olds can be rough, but I think the sleeping situation is worth checking out for a second opinion. Doesn't sound normal to scream uncontrollably every night. Maybe even make an appt. with a child psychologist. I know that may sound weird for a 2 yr. old, but maybe they can offer some parenting support for something else to try to help with his behavior. Try checking out some books on parenting 2 yr. olds. They can be really challenging. You need to be empowered with some tools and support. Seek out other Military Moms with young children for some support while your husband is gone. Not sure if you live near a base or not, but usually the Military has a good support system in place for the spouses. try to take advantage of those programs or get togethers offered. Or, if possible, let your family help you if possible. Please stay connected and involved so you don't feel isolated and alone. Best of luck to you.



answers from Tuscaloosa on

Whoa! One possibility may be that your son is acting out due to extreme sleep deprivation. I think if you can get him sleeping that will help greatly. My 2 year-old is much more prone to hit when he's really tired. I'm a little concerned that your doctor is not doing enough to help. I'm a pediatric physical therapist and I find this a lot. Asthma quite often causes difficulty sleeping, but there are treatments if you see the right doctor...perhaps a pediatric allergy specialist at a children's hospital/clinic. Ask for a referral if you agree. If he truly has vestibular problems, there are treatments for that as well!! A specially trained pediatric physical therapist should be able to help him. I would look for someone who sees only kids and who is trained in vestibular rehabilitation and possibly craniosacral therapy (works great on headaches and helps to relax to encourage sleep). You would need a referral for this too. I hope this helps! I think you should have hope, you just have to find the right people in your area to help and get some referrals from your pediatrician.



answers from New Orleans on

Go see a migraine specialist...a child neurologist. Some doctors are not even aware of what migraine really is. My daughter screamed uncontrollably when she was too young to tell me what was wrong, and it would come out of NO WHERE, and discipline was out of the question. She takes Phenergan (Fen-er-gan)and Tylenol together and it helps. She still has light sensitivity and uncontrollable crying spells. I can now tell they're coming because she gets very purple under her eyes. She only gets them every few months now instead of a couple times a week. Hers were usually triggered by too much activity - like a loud birthday party..anything extreme, and OMG the fits after a long car ride are still an issue! There are suppositories for kids too small for medicine. The biting and kicking could be from a migraine. If he has aura, it's like your brain short circuits. I get them too, it's not just head pain...I can see spots, have vertigo, half of my face turns numb...all kinds of weird things. He could be in pain, or just scared of what is happening. Does he get frequent nose bleeds? Does he have vomiting spells? All of these are migraine symptoms.

With my daughter, I'd just hold her to restrain her and hum lightly until it was over. I tried letting her alone once, because she kicked so badly, but it just escalated, and I could tell she needed the comforting.

Good luck. Feel free to ask me any questions.



answers from Oklahoma City on

Try a diet change. Take him off ALL processed and fast foods. The additives they use contain chemicals that can create not only migraines but severe allergies as well (not to mention possible neurological disorders). As a young breast cancer survivor, I did a lot of research on diet while I was going thru chemotherapy. I made the switch with the whole family and its amazing how healthy everyone is. My youngest had severe allergies and the same attitude problems you are describing about yours. It got so bad at school that we finally had to put her on Ritalyn to help her focus on her work. But the diet change has made a HUGE difference. She hasnt had ANY allergy meds in years, and she's able to focus and control her emotions much better. Nodody in the family has really been sick since the change, which really cuts down on trips to the doc (not to mention all the yucky meds everyone had to take all the time). If you need some help or pointers on how I did it all on a low-income budget (and shopping at Walmart), please let me know, I'll be glad to help. :}
Check out these websites and searches for more info:
google search "msg fast food"



answers from Fayetteville on

This is a very hard time to get through, especially when your youngest child has such an effect on his older siblings. I have 3, my youngest is 4 now and is just now staying in his bed. He chose to wake up his sister and brother through the night, rather than wake me and get sent back to his bed. Sometimes, it's just something everyone has to get through together. I sat my older kids down and told them I was sorry that their sleep was being disturbed, but I was doing the best that I could. I put him back in his bed whenever it was necessary. Every time. Right back to bed. I even had to put one of those doorknob covers that prevents kids from turning the knob on the inside of his door to prevent him from wandering at night. At 2, they are still hard to reason with, so you have to do what is best for him. As far as his acting out, the best advice I can give is to reinforce the rules and stick with it. Repetitiveness is the hardest and the best way to deal with it. Reminding that "we don't do that" or "ouch, that hurts me" can help a lot. Time out has been very effective for me, too, but not too long for a 2 yr old. Maybe 2 minutes. Making them stop doing everything really gets to them, and makes them think. I always follow a time out with, "why were you in time out?" and make my kids verbalize as best as they can why they got in trouble.

Good luck. You can do it. Lots of moms have been in exactly the same place and come out shining on the other side.

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