Help with Getting Her to Sleep

Hi L.,
That is probably the worst advise to let a baby cry themselve to sleep.
A baby doesn't have a way to know yet that when you are not there that you are ever going to be there again. They are in nowhere land when they cry alone.
Usually when a baby sleeps for 10 solid minutes you can move them into their crib because they are in a deep sleep. It is important though that when you move her you give out the feeling that you know what you are doing and not the feeling that you are afraid she is going to wake up. Also it is important that she is nice and warm, so cover her with a blanket, most babies wake up because they cool down while sleeping.
Good luck,
G., doula

You need "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp.

It is amazing and will certianly help anyone to be a better parent!

A baby under 3-6 months of age does not have the ability to calm themselves to sleep once they are upset. The only way they can is if the litteraly get so stressed out that they "Shut-down" as a sort of safetly mechanism. Your baby is counting in you to protect and care for her... if she needs you and you are not there she may learn to be clingy and dependant. If you are always there for her she'll learn to be independant and confidant because she'll know that no matter what HER mommy will always be there to help and protect her.

Just my 2 cents - I'll get off my soap box now. But seriously - look at THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK. Available locally at www.everymotherandchild.com

I agree with the other women that have responded to this. Don't let her cry. I would let her sleep in her swing if she falls asleep in there and leave it on. My son slept in his swing a lot at first. Is her crib in your room or in a nursery? If she's in her own room put on a nature cd for the noise and a night light so she doesn't wake up in the dark. My doctor told me to help him sleep at night at first to swaddle him because it reminds babies of being in the womb. It gets frustrating when you want sleep and you can't get it b/c of this lil one. Whatever you do don't wake her to eat. Babies regulate their own schedule and that might be why she has issues staying asleep. I think the one thing that totally helped me out was a noise machine. My son was sleeping 3 to 4 hours at a time around your daughter's age so there is hope. Just keep smiling and sleep when you can so you don't get frustrated when she's not sleeping.

Never wake a sleeping baby or try to keep a newborn awake. The first couple months are vital to their brain development. I totally agree with the comments below-I never let my daughter cry it out to fall asleep and yes I do still rock her-just enough to calm her down and she is 9 months old. She slept in her swing and bouncer till about 5 months and I let her. She could sleep 3-4 hours in the swing-it is soothing to them to have constant motion, that is all they had for the first 9.5 months of their lives. Once my daughter was trying to sit up, I sold her bouncer and at about 7 months (too old) I sold her swing. Once they can grab hold of the swing to make it stop moving, they're too big for it. I started to transition my daughter to her bed during the day at about 4 months for one nap, but the rest...I let her be.
Your doctor is right...he/she should be your best friend!!! You will know when she is starting to get spoiled/at the age where she understands and figures out how to get your attention. My daughter was about 5 months old and at 9 months I am already battling little tantrums when she doesn't get her way.

At 8 1/2 weeks of age I transitioned our daughter from our bed into her swing for a couple of nights, then moved her into her crib. The first night that I moved her into her crib she cried for approx. 20 minutes then fell asleep. Each night thereafter she only cried for approx. 5 minutes if at all. I still allowed her to take naps in her swing though until she basically weaned herself from it at 4 months of age. Since then she has been a great sleeper, taking naps right on schedule and sleeping through the night all in her own crib in her own room. Some infants are not capable of soothing themselves to sleep and or back to sleep until they are between 2 to 3 months of age. Until our daughter was 8 1/2 weeks, we did whatever it took to prevent any discomfort. Watch her signals, she will let you know when she is ready for each transition.

All I can say is what worked for me and that is when I had my daughter and it was bedtime, around 9 or 10 I would make sure she was fed, burped and had a dry diaper and then I would put her in her bassinet and let her cry herself to sleep. I got yelled at by my mother for letting her cry but let me tell you, after she got used to me letting her cry and not picking her up, I have NEVER had a problem with her going to sleep on her own and she is almost 3 now. My daughter doesnt ever cry when its bed time or anything. All of my friends cant believe how good she is about that and wonder why, Well thats what I did and it worked. I am expecting my secong baby and will be doing the same exact thing this time around since it worked so well the first time.

I agree with your doctor, she is still really young. My daughter just turned 1 year old and she fell asleep the same way every night for at least 8/9 months...nursing and rocking to sleep. I think I started a bit late on getting her to fall asleep by herself, but she does it now and it's great! You should do what you want to do. If you don't want to stick her in her crib and let her cry, then don't! There is nothing wrong with that. I did it every now and then, but it is hard. Just try to start a routine.

Here's what we do:
1. bath around 8pm
2. read some books
3. turn off lights, put on music
4. she drinks milk (from a cup now, nursing before)
5. brush teeth/gums
6. rock for a few minutes till she's drowsy
7. put her in her crib, still AWAKE, but drowsy

Right now she might not have a real steady sleep schedule. (if she sleeps through the night now, you're blessed!) I would just start parts of this and then when she's ready-and you're ready-you can do the last two steps. If she's nursing at bedtime I know that is harder, it was for us. I'd just try to stop her when she seemed to be getting tired. I admit I was using a pacifier (until this week) so that helped. We stopped the pacifier this week and she only cries for it a few times, not at every nap and bedtime. It's been 4 days without the pacifier now! Yes, she is still young, but it's good that you are thinking about this now. If you do start it when she is 4-6 months old and not later (like I did) it should go smoothly. Good Luck!

p.s. A good article I read recently about this is in the August 2007 issue of Parents magazine. It's called something like "Get your child to sleep through the night." Maybe you can check that out.

Are you nursing or bottle feeding? My daughter and my neice both behaved this way because they had food allergies and/or GERD.

My sister in law was nursing and her baby girl would not seem satisfied by anything except being on mommy ALL the time. Come to find out she's got REFLUX and my sis in law had to change her diet drastically and keep her baby at a 30 degree angle at all times. The angle thing isn't thay hard to do and made a world of difference. Since she's changed her diet its helped and her 2month old is given baby ZANTAC 3times daily. She's sleeping wonderfully now and much less fussy....

My daughter was bottle fed. From birth she wouldn't eat much at a time and seemed very uncomfortable on her back and unless she was swinging or in her vibrating chair or on me. Finally by 5 months the doc's believed me that there was an issue and said she had REFLUX and gastrointestinal issues. She was put on ALIMENTUM formula and it was like a whole new BABY! She ate better and slept wonderfully by herself in her crib, no more issues. So, just a thought u might want to consider. Check it out! Good luck and hope all the best for you. Aimee :)

I have a almost 6 month old and i have let her cry herself to sleep. sometimes its the only way to get her to sleep. i know its hard but she will fall asleep. i wouldnt let it go on more than like 15-20 min.. but some times thats what they need to do. now i also have been putting my daughter on her stomach since week 2 and she sleeps great. anywhere from 6-12 hrs at night. well now she is teething so its a little different now, but i didnt have a problem puting her on her stomach because she is in the same room with me (cradle and now crib) so i can hear anything thats going on. its all on your comfort level. i also have been feeding her cereal since month 2 before bed and now im on 3 times a day but that seems to help her sleep longer too. cereal, bath, then, bottle. hope that helps you :)

Im sorry but I do NOT agree with letting your child cry itself to sleep! I had the same problem with my daughter, she is 6 1/2 months old now and still sometimes has trouble sleeping. I know it is hard, I am a single mother and doing it myself, but her sleep habits will change in time, when she is ready... During the day when she naps put her in her crib and let her get used to it that way and at night please do not let her cry for more than 10-15 min. There are studies that show that children that were unattended to and left to cry for long periods of time cry more for the attention and also can have anxiety when they are older. It gets better I promise!

I agree with those mom's on the "cry it out method-Ferber" at her age she is way to young to do that. Ferber even says himself that until a baby is at least 6 months, this should not be attempted. We did it with my oldest when she was 12 months, it took a week of crying (10 min intervals at most) and after that she went to bed just fine! Routines are great too! I am going through the same thing with my 12 week old, instead of the swing or bouncer I let her fall asleep next two me (takes about 5 mins) then I lay her in her crib. It helps a lot because then she falls asleep without the rocking motion and isn't woken up when I move her as oppose to turning off a swing or bouncer and trying to put her in bed. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I've realized that you will get as many opinions about baby's sleep habits as there are stars in the sky. My LO is a little over 3 months old and still falls asleep either being rocked or nursed. Have you read any sleep books? There are tons, my favorite is The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears...there are many, many others and what I did was take each with a grain of salt. Every baby is different. I will tell you that my daughter is slowly sleeping more and more in her crib - she's growing up! Hope this helps.

I never let my son "cry it out". It just felt so wrong to me. I know that his physical needs would be met, but I see that they have emotional needs too, just as we do. I always get so sad when someone says "they only cried for two hours!". I have never cried for two hours and felt good about it.

I read a great book that can help you. It has a GENTLE 6 step plan to get them to fall asleep on their own. It's called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabth Pantly. It's very cheap on amazon.com. I would highly recommend reading it.

Also, is it important to you that your 11 month old daughter falls asleep on her own? I know I want to hold and rock my son as long as he will let me, and I don't care what anyone else says to me about it!