Help with Alcohol

Updated on November 10, 2009
L.J. asks from Dallas, TX
27 answers

Does anyone know how AA works? I've heard that it has a strong faith based program, and I am not Christian. Does anyone have advice as to help for drinking too much? I have talked to my doctors, and they just say - stop the intake. It's obviously getting to the point where I can't just do it on my own. Advice, not judgement or religious comments would be appreciated - no offense to ANYONE's religion, but this is more of a health/mental health issue than anything else.

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So What Happened?

Everyone's advice is overwhelming and touching. I am literally crying!! I appreciate everyone's encouragement and support - support that I knew I would not get from my husband. who has no clue I'm even considering this. I am going to dinner with a friend whose sister is in AA, and I found a nearby meeting for Monday. I especially appreciate the honesty that it may take more than one or two meetings, so I won't feel like a failure if I just don't 'get it' right away. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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D.O.

answers from Dallas on

I would say try it out. If the first one you go to doesn't work for you, try another location/time. Good luck and best wishes. Good for you for making a step toward a healthier you.

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L.S.

answers from Grand Forks on

My mom goes to AA regularily and I did for a period of time. We went to learn how to cope with my dad, who at the time drank a lot. he has cut back no because he was diagnosed with diabetes. When i went there was nothing brought up about religion. It was just a few people talking and sharing stories...and crying. Its more of a stress relief and having someone who understands to talk to. I would definately recommend trying it and see how it suits you. You can say as much or as little as you want. They dont judge.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L., I had the EXACT same reaction as you. I am not Christian and I knew AA wasn't for me. I fought it for at least 6 months, even with the therapist I had been seeing for years telling me that I didn't need to see her again until I went to AA. I was NOT happy. Finally after trying to find ANYTHING else I gave up and went to AA. Even after my first meeting I knew it was going to change my life. It took me 6 more months to actually get sober and now I have been sober for alomst 8 years. That is just me. Some people get it the first time they walk in the door, some people never get it. It's not AA that gets and keeps you sober, it's you. AA gives you the tools, support and foundation to being sober. Honestly, I think what you learn in AA are great tools for ANYONE wanting to change and improve their life (you just have to be an alcoholic to go to a meeting!) You don't have to talk until you are ready. Listening is sometimes the best medicine (for a while...). No one knows your religion, marital status, family life, political views, etc. I don't go to meetings all the time now, but I know what to do when I am feeling "iffy", and a meeting is always around the corner. Until you really decide for yourself that you want to be sober, you can question and search forever. It is taking that first scary step and deciding that you want to be present in your family's lives to begin to change yours. Everyone does it differently. It's not easy, but the other side is truly amazing. Good luck and just try a meeting (or two or three!)

1 mom found this helpful

L.W.

answers from Dallas on

AA is no religious, yes it does say that there is a higher power, but that can be interpreted as what you believe in. Not just Christains go. You should not be offended so easily. You need tough skin to get through alcohoilism. If every time you get offended in a place that can offer you guidence or help, you will not get anywhere. You will never get along with people's views 100%, and that's okay, you need to be comfortable enough with yourself and your belifes that other's belifes will not detour you from your ultimate goal which is to be sober. I went to AA, and honestly, having friends who were working toward the same thing I was, or who could share the same experiences helped a lot. We did not have to talk about God or anything else, we just were there for eachother when we felt weak. If you still do not want to go to AA, It can still be done. You need to surround yourself with positve people who will be a real friends to you. Get a hobby. I started my own scrapbook buisness, it really helped to keep my hands and mind busy. I threw myself into service, volunteer work at shelters and kitchens. I helped neighbors out, and befriended others who needed me to be the strong one. If you help others, you knwo you cannot let them down and it make you want to be better, and eventually you do not have to try anymore, it just become apart of who you are, and the thirst does go away. I have been sober since Feb. 14th 2003, and I have totally turnedmy life around. I was once a drifter, not knowing what I wanted out of life, I drank to ease loneliness and fill time. Now I am a mom of 3 kids, i have a great hubby, I am a homemaker, I am active in my community, I love life, I never take anything for granted, and I believe that my trials made me a better woman. I see the value of things that othres who have not have tough times, do not. Being an alcoholic can be a blessing if you can masterit. IT just makes you that much stronger, cause you know you overcame a demon. Good Luck, I am rooting for you!

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have a friend who is an athiest and he attends AA. They only refer to a "higher power" so it is up to personal interpretation. I am with you about the whole Christianity thing being pushed on you. I find it very offensive when people throw that out there. You are personally responsible for every decision and action that you make. You are responsible for the errors that you make. You are responsible for the ultimate path of your life. No one else.

I hope you find what you need. I encourage you to find your inner strength and find the help you deserve.

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T.K.

answers from Abilene on

I too would like to know...I am not of any religious offiliation and talking about God when I am trying to quit destroying my mind and body with drugs and alcohol makes ne want to vomit. Please tell me there is a non religious forum for those that want help not harping!!

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V.P.

answers from Dallas on

Although I haven't gone through the program myself, I have a number of family members who have (both successfully and unsuccessfully). I think success really depends on how much you're willing to get involved. The family members that I've known that have been most successful really worked the program, especially the first few months, and even years.

In terms of God and spirituality, I don't consider AA faith based. It's more about a "higher power" (which, as the previous poster said, could mean anything). The only reference that I've heard made to God is the serenity prayer (God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change...).

I would strongly suggest attending a couple of meetings. You can go to www.aa.org to find meetings near you. You might even try a few locations or times - I'm sure some will have a better fit for you than others, both in terms of convenience and in terms of your comfort level with the people at the meetings. And find a sponsor - someone you have something in common with, who can guide you through the process and be there when you're feeling weak or tempted by alcohol.

Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know who told u that AA is a faith based program but it is not, you are not even allowed to talk about religion period. Because there are so many people that have different beliefs!

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

L.,

I'm sure it takes A LOT to ask for help...way to go! The first step you have to do is to admit you have a problem and it sounds like you understand that. I don't know how AA work, but I do know that I have known several people that have gone through it and they are not Christians either...so I'm pretty confident that their really is no religious bases to the program. Also you can contact Prestonwood Baptist Church for help too...###-###-####
Best of luck.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L..
No advice from me, but just wanted to say how strong and courageous you are. You probably don't feel that way, but please believe me when I say that you are. It takes a lot of guts to admit you need help, then even MORE guts to actually go out and look for it. I'm sure drinking really messes with your perspective on life, so you must have a really strong person deep inside of you. Keep going. Get help. Good luck.

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T.P.

answers from Dallas on

L., my brother-in-law is an alcoholic and he has been sober for over 25 years through AA. He, too, is a non-Christian and he said the program refers to a "higher power" and that was something different for each person on the program. Regardless of what your religious beliefs are, you do not deserve to live with the pain of alcoholism. I admire you for seeking help and reaching out for help. You are already a step ahead because I believe the first step of the twelve step program is admitting you have a problem. You have taken the first step! Good Luck and I will pray for you.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

First- I would like to let you know that you are NOT alone and I'm so glad your reaching out for help!! I am a recovering addict/ alcoholic myself. My experience with is that AA is a bit more "religiously" oriented in their wording of the 12 Steps. You do NOT have to believe as others do for the program to work for you. I know members with multiple years, some even double digits, clean/sober that are agnostic, Jewish, christian, Buddhist, etc. There are many 12 step programs out there to choose from that can help you, if you are willing. Feel free to email me personally at ____@____.com if you'd like more info or finding a group in your area!!

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

First of all congratulations on your first step- admitting you have a problem and asking for help. AA are people who too have alcohol problems and they talk to try to help you cope with. You really need to find what is making you want to drink. Once you go to AA, stick with it as long as possible. They are all good people who will be there for you. Be sure and get a sponsor so you have someone to call and talk you out of drinking if you get the urge. You will make many friends. Once again congratulations on asking for help; it will be better for you, your health, and your family. You can do it!

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

Join your local AA...you should at least try it at least once. If it's not right maybe someone there can steer you to another option. Good for you for reaching out. That's very brave. We all have difficult things we face in our lives and sometime don't want to admit or face. You are demonstrating honesty and courage and to me...that's the first step. Take the next step now.

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V.A.

answers from Dallas on

AA and NA are spiritual-not religious -programs.I know because I am in NA. You don't have to have a religion to be in either. You work 12 steps with a sponsor to find out alot of why you drink and find ways to rearrange the furniture in your head (so to speak) so you don't drink in the future. We don't judge. lol We don't dare! We're in these meetings for much the same reason you would be. Give it a try.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

I have 2 family member that have gone through AA and 2 have gone through alanon. From what I understand you have to have a "higher power." My aunt who is in alanon says she has Buddhist in her group.
I have seen many people go through AA and have become some of the strongest people I know. I have attended meetings with family and it is an awesome experience. You will never forget your first meeting.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

Alcohol is a drug much like any other
People take medicine because something hurts
Whether it is something from our past or something that we are trying to deal with on a daily basis

What you have to realize, and this is just me talking from personal experience, what ever it is that is hurting you
God keeps waking you up everyday, so that means you have a purpose. Find out what it is and be obedient.

www.K.-robinson.com

###-###-####

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

I know that you left this on friday but i just now read it. My name is A. and I am an alcoholic/addict. I have been sober/clean for 7 1/2 years. It is very important that you realize you have taken a HUGE first step. It is about a "higher power" which can be anything from God to Love to "the rooms and the people in them". It has been a hard road for me. When I started out I was in complete chaos and running from my family. I did the whole 90 in 90 and got a sponsor and talked to the people there. You just have to dive in with no preconceived notions of anything and just try it. If you slip just make sure to pick yourself up again. Please message me and let me know how you are doing. The program works if you will stick with it. I wish all the best. If you need to know about the meeting schedule in your area please let me know.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

The fact that you have realized your problem is amazing and you are to be commended for taking steps to help yourself. Although AA is faith based it is my understanding that they are not "pushing" faith on you. They walk you through their "Twelve Step Program". In that program God is mentioned, but it is stated that it is "a higher power" or a power greater than yourself. If you google the twelve steps I am sure you can find them.

I would visit a therapist who could recommend a rehab or treatment program suitable to your needs. Check with your health insurance company, many times there are treatment options for various problems through your health care plans and we just don't think to look their first.

One of the hallmarks of AA is their buddy system. If you can't afford a treatment program, perhaps you can hire a therapist or coach who specializes in working with people who are not interested in the AA system. The advantage of AA that it is very cheap if not free. At the very least I would find the twelves steps and find an accountability partner to help you through the steps sans the religious elements. Good luck.

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

There is a medication that can be prescribed that you can not drink on,if you do you will be come very ill. If your Doctor is not helping you with this, maybe you need to find another doctor. AA is a wonderful program, but GOD Is a Big part of that.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

I would also say try AA like the other moms that answered below. I have a good friend that served in Iraq and when he came back he was diagonosed with PTSD and soon had issues with alcohol. AA has helped him. Also, I know you said that you are not a christian and please remember that the true christians do not judge. If for some reason AA does not work for you, I'm always here to talk to and there is a guy named Ray Hicks who holds a class called Celebrate Recovery and he can be reached at ###-###-####. He will never judge you and if anyone in the group tries to he will put an end to it, (they have not had an issue with judgement there but everyone knows the rules). I know that you can beat this, please keep us updated on your success.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.:

First of all, I want to tell you how proud I am of you for admitting that you have a problem. That's Step 1!

Does it really matter that the meetings might have a little more Christianity in them than what you are used to? Go. Give it a try. AA is there to help YOU. Take what you need out of it.

You know, my step-dad was an alcoholic and drug abuser. He wasn't a religious man. It ended up working for him. He died a clean, sober and proud man. In all his life, I don't think he ever felt self-pride.

What have you got to lose? I think you will find that AA may give you what you don't already have. Support.

Stick with it, L.. Take control of your life before it takes control of you. YOu deserve it.

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J.P.

answers from Dallas on

I work with a wonderful gentleman that went through AA...he just celebrated 8 years alcohol free this past month. He is not a religious person but found the AA program the only way to kick the 'disease' of alcoholism. Alcoholism is a disease. I highly suggest you check out AA and if you would like to speak to my friend let me know and I'll get you connected. Do not be ashamed,,,just be thankful you recognize the problem (main step) and are willing to change.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

L.,
Please try it. I have seen it help so many people. The 12 step program teaches you to dig really deep inside yourself if you truly want change. Finding yourself and using your own inner "Higher Power" can be pretty powerful. I am Agnostic and have never been offended by the program and have supported several very close people through it successfully. One of the things that they will talk about is changing your routine and changing the negative influences in your life. I think that this is the most important thing you (or anyone trying to change a habit) can do.

Warmest regards and best wishes! If you need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out. You are very brave!!

C.

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R.W.

answers from Dallas on

AA is a good program, but there are other ways and programs of getting help.

Alcohol Treatment Center 24 Hour Help Line‎
Dallas, TX‎ - ###-###-####‎

Dallas Intergroup Association‎
6162 E Mockingbird Ln # 213, Dallas, TX‎ - ###-###-####‎
Category: Alcoholism Treatment Program

Alcoholics Anonymous‎
2438 Butler St # 106, Dallas, TX‎ - ###-###-####‎
Category: Alcoholism Treatment Program

Alcohol Treatment Center 24 Hour Help Line‎
1500 K Ave, Plano, TX‎ - (800) 229-7708‎

http://www.assistedrecovery.com/index.htm

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I really don't know a lot about AA, but I think all they say is that there is a higher power at work in the world and in our lives and we can't do it alone. I don't think they even call it God. Just a supreme being. From the little I know, you shouldn't feel like you are being preached to at all. They don't say things like "pray for God to take this problem away". My suggestion would be to check it out because if you don't like it, you can always leave, but until you go, you won't know. And maybe someone else can tell you better than I, but each chapter may be a ltitle different with some being more religious than others?

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

this is just a note of encouragement. You have made a huge step. It is verry hard to admit a problem like this. Check with your heslth insurance and see if they have any programs. I know we have never meet but know I am so very proud of you.

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