Help with a Picky Eating 2 Year Old

Let me just tell ya.... I totally feel your pain. My two oldest children (who are now 10 and 8) were very picky eaters when they were toddlers and ate like birds. It really stressed me out. So with the advice and ideas of mentoring mom's, here's what I did.

Breakfast: LET THEM PICK whatever type of breakfast food they want and give them juice or milk to drink. (No snacks-unless if they seemed like they were going through a growth spurt - otherwise, the kitchen was closed and I am not the maid)

Lunch: I PICK WHAT THEY EAT and yet I pick something I know they like. (Offer a healthy enjoyable snack at a reasonable time between lunch and dinner so that it's NOT too close to just finishing lunch and yet close enough to dinner that you have a content but hungry child when you get to the table for dinner)

Dinner: I BUILD DINNER AROUND WHAT MY HUSBAND AND I LIKE and not around the kids. The rule at our table is even if you don't like what you are served... tough toenails. No comments about how much you don't like the meal or something on your plate - that is offensive to the person (whether it be someone hosting a meal for your family, a neighbor, mom, dad - this is a good time to train the child manners and self control.) Another rule we have is you must take a least 1 bite of everything on your plate. This is a good opportunity to teach your child obedience. I am not worried about quantity of food eaten at this point in the day because I know that my child has eaten a good breakfast and a good lunch. So, dinnertime is used as training in expanding tastes and obeying. NEVER FORCE eatting. Ultimately, your child needs to make the choice to eat or not to eat. I strongly recommend a CONSISTENT CONSEQUENCE if your child does not do what you are requiring.

I always serve milk with dinner and maybe you can use the Pediasure (use according to the instructions and doctor's guidance first and foremost)so that if dinner is not successful, at least you know there is something on their tummy when they go to bed and it puts your mind at ease.

Take all of this with a grain of salt and do what fits your family best.
We are truly reaping the benefits of early years of training. Mealtimes are sooooo much fun now.

Sincerely
A. P

Mine is the same way and has always been the "finicky one". He will truly NOT eat than eat something he doesn't feel like. Mine doesn't like breakfast until he's been up forever, so I just give him Nesquik in his milk for nutrition and vitamins. I get him real hungry...that seems to do the trick, and then put something he likes, and something new on his plate. Seems like if they are side by side, he'll eat the good stuff first and will try the other if I don't make a big deal of it.

Finally, I put him on Ensure once a day. It's expensive, but at least I know he's getting calories and vitamins. When he plumps up, I'll take him off to rest our budget, and when the pants get loose I start buying it again. Boost works well too.

My doctor told me to give him all the things I wouldn't eat. Like bread with tons of butter, and gravy, carbs, pancakes... can't afford to miss calories when they only open their mouth a few times per day. And she told me i have to cut back on juice. He's filling his tiny tummy up with juice and not wanting anything else. Give the food first!! Good luck!

First I wouldn't worry about the "weight" issue. All children are different. I've had babies weight 27lbs at 9months; and a 5 year old that weighed 24lbs at 5 years. It's no big deal. One of my children weighed 29lbs at 4 and 45 at 5. LOL

I use to leave plates of foods out in the day, a variety of raw veggies, finger sandwiches, fruits, raisins and such. That way he'd have his "pick" at any given time. Make sure he's not over-consuming liquids so she'll be hungry. Give her liquids of course.. just don't let her fill up (juices are food ya know so this can count as a fruit).

Also, at the age of 3 I told my picky daughter who would only eat 5 foods, "we have a new rule in the house.. everyone has to say 'hello' to everything on their plate. That means you must take one bite of everything. You don't have to eat it.. just take one bite." She's been eating full-force ever since. That helped her learn that she actually DID like other things.

I certainly wouldn't go the pediasure route. Loading them up with fat and sugar is not a healthy way to put on weight.

By first glance I noticed that all the foods that you mentioned that she likes are salty or sweet. Usually when you start a child w/ these it is more difficult for them to eat veggies or fruit, they are bland in comparison. I believe that God has put us in charge of the child to make the best decisions for them since they are too young to make themselves. You know what is going to give them proper nutrition, just be consistent and determined. If not you will have alot more problems as she grows. I've seen it a thousand times over. It all depends on what you want. Be responsible for your child's sake.

I believe that the answer is in what you wrote: "I will give him something he likes. I know this is probably not the best practice but I hate for him not to eat anything."

In my opinion, if you continue that practice, your son has no reason to change anything. He is getting what he set out to get. He is mastering the manipulation of Mommy. I understand your concern for his well-being, but any one that is truly hungry, will eat - sooner or later.

I'm NOT saying this in a judgmental tone, just from proven experience and friends who have many more kids than myself.

It is easier for me to drink a meal than to eat one! If I am very tired, this is very true. Be sure he isn't too tired and hungry when the meal is ready to eat.
Be sure that the snacks between meals are ONLY nutritious ones-fruits, veggies, cheese, etc. At mealtime serve the two-year-old what you are eating and an item that he likes-one that you and your husband will also enjoy. If he eats, great; if not don't give him anything else until time for the nutritious snack.
May times children will eat a food they help prepare.
You can also make many fun shapes, items from foods. EX: a dog can be made from a canned pear, turned with rounded side up. Add a raisin for an eye, prune for the big ear and a cherry for a nose. Turn the pear over and you can fill it with cottage cheese and other foods and it becomes a "boat". Put a triangular-shaped cracker for a "sail". Broccoli can be a tree--there is even a book about that which you could read.

Years ago a study was done where they let several one-year-olds select whatever they wanted to eat from a huge selection of food for many days. The children didn't select a "balanced" diet each meal, but over time they did select foods that provided adequate nutrition.

Making a "big deal" out of him not eating will only draw attention to the fact that you are concerned and paying attention to it. Two-year-olds love attention; be sure you are giving a lot of positive reinforcement (praise) when the child is doing something that is correct. (Do this for things other than eating well-but you can praise him when he eats his yummy peas.)

FEAR NOT!!! From the information that you have given, your son is doing just fine. And, if you will notice, the foods that he likes are full of carbohydrates and fats which will give him the energy that he needs. As long as he is hydrated, active and alert, there is no great cause for concern. However, you should still offer him a variety of foods and try to find a creative way to include more fruits and vegetables into his diet. It may also be helpful to give him a good vitamin/mineral formula (liquid vitamins/minerals are better absorbed) to ensure that he is not deficient in these. Because he is already getting sugars (from the breakdown of the carbohydrates), the Pediasure could be adding too much sugar to his diet. A more nutritious alternative is to give him smoothies/shakes with real ice cream/yogurt and a protein powder added (which does not have the sugars and empty calories that Pediasure does)....In their recommedations, most doctors do not consider that these children are not being underfed or undernourished by being picky eaters. Usually, these chldren are the ones who have healthier eating habits as s.

Hello B.,

I too have a picky two year old who was also premature (15 oz. at birth), she is now 2 1/2 and 20 lbs. Still small but doctors say she is proportionate. She didn't start eating until well after her first birthday. My daughter also has her favorites that I resort to sometimes if I cant get her to eat what I am serving and I was also instructed on giving her pediasure to help when she doesn't get all the nutrients that she should when she doesn't eat. I have narrowed the pediasure down to a once in awhile thing, because she seemed to just want the pediasure (because it is sweet) and not wanting to eat anything else, even her favorites. Now, to make sure that she gets a taste of everything, I chop her veggies into small bite size pieces and mix them into her side dish. I feed her the side dish/veggie blend first to make sure that she gets fuller from that. Then after I feel that she has eaten enough of the side dish/veggies, I give her the meat portion and let her go at it. I had to struggle with her to get to this point and I am currently feeding her the first portion of her meal myself, instead of letting her feed herself. Eventually, I will let her feed herself like I used to, but I want her to learn that she must eat at least some of her veggies and side dish.

This will be a struggle to get your son to this point, but you will have to be strong no matter how much he fights you and cry and whines (me and my daughter still duke it out). There have been many instances where I have put my daughter in her room for a couple of minutes until she calmed down and realized that mommy was not backing down from the situation and that she had to eat what mommy told her to eat. I have never put her to bed hungry, but I also did not give in completely to her demands of what she wanted to eat.

Be strong and he will come around. I hope this helps and good luck!!!

Hi B., I have gone to the health food store and purchased a package of dried vegetables for my kids. There is very little salt and they love to "munch" on what they think is a great snack. They don't realize they are munching on squash, green beans, sweet potatoes,etc. It may be worth a try. My 7 year old loves it. He has suffered with "skin" issues his whole life, so I make every effort to put him in front of the most nutritcious kid friendly foods I can find. We also make home made apple pancakes that are awesome. They contain no sugar or eggs. Hope this helps. Let me know if you want the recipe. Blessings, T

I'm sorry, I don't know anything about the Pediasure. I don't think it existed 6 years ago when my youngest was a toddler. But, she is a picky eater. I know what you are going thru with "making her a seperate meal". Try not to. My strategy is to make her a normal plate, but make sure that there is at least ONE thing on her plate that she likes to eat. My suggestion would be to experiment with things you might not think kids will like. You might be surprised. Neither of my kids have EVER (still to this day) eaten a grilled cheese sandwich. They just don't like them. BUT, they LOVE olives (both green and black- and have since they were toddlers), steamed broccoli (with a little salt, butter and lemon juice) cucumbers, cheese quesadillas (9 yr old even likes salsa and sour cream on it), sunflower seeds, strawberries, plain lettuce, raw spinach, dry Special K, dry Frosted Mini-Wheats, cheese sticks... the list goes on. My son has NEVER eaten mashed potatoes (I thought every kid loved them), but he LOVES a baked potato with salt/pepper and butter/sour cream.
Just experiment with different things. He is still acquiring his taste for foods, so don't limit it to what you would expect a small kid to like. You might be surprised. Have you tried yogurt? It comes in so many flavors... it might be a texture thing too. My kids HATE cooked carrots, but like them raw. My 9 yr old has liked baby lima beans since he was 5 (nobody else in our family eats them) and loves coleslaw too! Just keep trying new foods.. maybe at lunch time when (if you are like me) they pretty much are eating by themselves anyway (while you are in the kitchen fixing yourself something or cleaning up from preparing theirs)... so use THAT time to give him new stuff...
Good luck, and have patience!

This is the first time I have responded to an article on this site, so here it goes! I have 2 children, ages 5 (boy) and 3(girl). I have been a nurse for 15 years and still find myself suprised by what my kids do and what my pediatrician tells me (as my training in pediatrics was very limited. More OJT from being a mom than in nursing school....just kidding!) Our MD has always told me that the picky eating phase will pass and your child will eat when he/she is hungry. I could never understand how they kept on going with all that energy when they hardly ate enough to keep anybody or anything alive, I thought.
I would worry about it constantly- every meal, every snack, and any other time. But sure enough, they would start eating and I was so thankful-usually just before a
growth spurt. Personally, I think the Pediasure would give him a feeling of being more full and not want to eat as much real food. Maybe your MD could recommend a chewable vitamin instead that would supplement any nutrients not provided by his diet. We use a chewable vitamin from Melaleuca (at Melaleuca.com) and my kids love it as well as I do for them. They actually race to me in the mornings- each to get their vitamis before the other.
I told my 3 year old that it was "vitamin candy" for the first 6 months until we had a really good morning routine. Now she knows that it is just a "vitamin."
They are cherry flavored and she thought she was getting a treat, but in reality I was. These vitmins absorb better in the digestive tract and I know that the nutrients are actually being utilized instead of just passing through the digestive tract like so many vitamins do....be it children or adult vitamins. You would be suprised at how much of the regular vitamins (like One a Day, Centrum, Flinstones, and others like them) pass through the body and such a small portion of them are actually absorbed by the digestive tract. That's why I love these so much for my kids. They may cost a little more, but my children's nutrition is well worth it!!

Just something to think about if your child still won't eat much. Do some research and see what would work best for you and more importantly for your child. Good luck and I hope this information has helped.

C. M.

My daughter turned 2 the begining of March. She has ALWAYS been a picky eater. At her 2 yr. check up she only weighes 24lbs and she was born at 41 weeks. The Dr. was not concerned just asked to give her vitamins. I think the Dr. only suggested vitamins becuase I said I was concerned with how little she ate. My Dr. told me she will eat when she needs too. My daughter will go a week with very little then a week eating everything we offer. Just last night the sitter told me she ate a good lunch, I figured she would not eat dinner, as soon as we got home she was asking for food. I made our dinner, which she only ate half of, an hour later she was asking for more!!! I had to fix her a snack after she finished all her dinner.

My point is, they will eat when they need to eat. I shouldn't take credit for that comment it came straight from my daughters Dr. BTW- my daughters Dr. has a son 4 days younger then mine, I think she can relate.

Good luck. I hope it will pass soon for both of us!!!

From a mom with an always been a picky eater to another. You will probably get alot of mixed advice here so I will throw in my two cents too. Until the past couple of months my daughter has always been underweight also. Like milk, pediasure gives a feeling of being full, so it can decrease appetite. Be aware of when you are giving it, avoiding meal times to keep the appetite up. Pediasure can also be very costly. What I chose to use instead was Ovaltine in the orange container, mixed with milk twice a day gives my daughter her milk and the nutritional boost, without interfearing with her appetite. (Lindsey gets an 8oz cup in the morning and before bed, drinking other beverages during the day).

For the picky eating, don't worry so much and keep trusting your good instincts. I continue to make Lindsey try one bite of what we are having for dinner, giving her more if she chooses, otherwise she has her own meals. When I don't battle with her over food, she eats much more. When dealing with an underweight child letting them "go without" is never a good idea. As he grows, his list of foods will too, trust me.

I can't speak to the Pediasure as I've never used it. My daughter is 23 months old and on the tall side. But I can advise on the picky eater side. LOL. We're vegetarians so getting proper nutrition while easy for me, was worrisom for me when my daughter decided to exert her independence by being picky. I agree that you shouldn't give in to the picky habit. But I reccomend a gradual trasition. What has worked for me is offering her her favorite food last. My daughter is adicted to all fruit and if I let her she'd eat it to the exclusion of all else. So I give her her vegtables or grilled cheese or whatever else we're eating first and she gets her fruit after she has eaten most of the rest of her food. Try this. At the same time that you are the parent and need to be making the choices, I also thnk that at 2, they can understand a lot and if you set the rule that he can't have x before he finishes y then stick to it! Good luck.

Definitely don't let this stress you out. Two year olds are notoriously picky eaters, regardless of what we may try to feed them.

My daughter is two, and her doctor also recommended Pediasure or adding carnation instant breakfast to her milk everyday. At first, she wanted to only drink her milk and not anything else, so we limited her milk to meals (and she'll drink an entire cup then), then started to expand it to snack time, once she realized it wasn't just a treat. I make a lot of casseroles with ingredients she likes, that way, she's more prone to at least try something she's never had (spinach is a winner in our house, as long as she doesn't see it). And we always try to give her what we're having, especially if it's something she hasn't tried yet. She does have great manners, as if she tries something and doesn't like it, she takes it out of her mouth and says no thank you!

I think like everything with them, it's a matter of trial and error. My step daughter wouldn't eat bread for years, but decided about three years ago to start. So from age 3 to age 14, she didn't eat bread. Other ways for grains were great, but not bread, and she didn't starve.

Good luck!

Hi B.
Now, look at the letter you wrote, specifically the list of foods you do feed him. They're junk food. Take all that away and start fresh veggies, fruits, all different kinds. Baked chicken or boiled chicken. Put them in the center of the table on a big plate and see what he reaches for. And you reach for a few different items for your plate also. YOu can give them special names, like Mickey Mouse chicken, or names of his favorite cartoons. Don't give in. And the pedialite, only give him very little into a cup. He's filling up on it and of course needs nothing else. taste it and see. It's probably sweet. If i were a kid, I would pick sweet and junk before anything else also. try apples, blueberries, bananas, peas, sweet potatoes, califlour, carrots, celery with peanut butter on it. There's so many. I cook bonesless/skinless chicken breasts with teriaki sauce either in the oven or on grill, then slice it up in thin strips for eating. Yum.

My experience with picjy eaters is this: If you offer him the food/foods that the rest of the family is eating and he refuses it, and then you give him what he "likes", he will continue to trun his nose up at everything he doesn't want. You have taught him that he doesn't really have to eat what everyone else is eating because Mom will get him something else. This is not about control,this is about YOU being the parent and making healthy food choices for him. DO NOT leave the choice up to him. Would you let him choose to not get strapped in the car seat? Of course, eatng the wrong foods does not carry the same magnitude of danger as not riding in a car seat, but the concept is the same. It is YOUR responsibility to make healthy choices FOR HIM. If you don't start soon, you will have problems for the rest of his childhood. I learned this the hard way. I fed my first child only what he wanted and now he is a teenager who STILL is a picky eater. I vowed NEVER to do that again and now the rest of my children will eat a huge variety of foods.

You say you hate for him to not eat anything. Why? IS it because you think he's hungry? Obviously, he isn't THAT hungry if he's turning away from food.
IS it because you're worried about him not getting enough nutrition? Offer him ONLY what is healthy and nutritious and that's all he'll put into his body. No sugary juice, no fruit snacks... all these things will fill him up with junk and then he WON"T get nutrition. I'm not saying this because I am against "junck" as snacks. Not at all. I buy my kids fruit snacks and things sometimes, but my kids eat healthy foods the rest of the time so it doesn't have the detrimental effect of filling them up with empty calories.
If you only offer him "good for you" foods,he'll have to eat it sonner or later and he won't wait too long!

In short, my advice is this: STOP giving in to his picky eating. It will be tough at first since he's used to getting his way at meals, but it will be worth it if you can stick it out.
Good luck ~C.

MY nephew is 2 now and he was also born at 31 wks weighing 3lbs 1 ounce. He weighs about the same as your child does now.He is doing everything else he supposed to be doing for his age developement wise and actually speaks well for his age. My sister has had him on Pediasure supplements for about 6 months now to help gain weight. I don't think it would hurt to supplement especially if the child likes the pediasure.My nephew likes the vanilla flavor the best.He still eats like a normal toddler too with pickiness at times and phases. I feel the supplements can't do anythng but help.They certainly don't hurt anything.

My son who is now six was and still is a very picky eater. I gave him pediasure when he was a toddler, because I was worried about his nutrition. I too am aware that you are not supposed to give them seperate meals but this is very hard to do. My son is now a very healthy six year old. Weighs 60 lbs and is 4'4" tall. He now takes a chewable vitamin every day.

i went through this very same things through 3 boys and the pediatrician told me that as long as they were getting plenty of fluids in their bodies you shouldn't worry too much and it should be fine. it most likely is just a phase. my boys are 8, 6 & 3 yrs old and they are as healthy as could be. he will eat the new foods when he is ready. you just let god work it out and it will be just fine.

HI B.
I to had a picky low birth wieght toddler who was put on pedisure (which she loved).I would allow Abby to choose her breakfast and lunch but when it came to dinner.I would not make her something diffrent than what we where having I did doit for a short time and found it to be exhausting.I used to pedisure sparingly(ever other day at breakfast). Before very long she new that if she was hungry she should eat her dinner.I did not offer any more food after dinner nor did I force her to eat dinner with us.I hope this is helpful Best of luck to you.
J.
Abbys Mom and full time Doula

This very normal for the kids at this age to be picky eaters. Both my kids were picky and one of them is still. I grant you that everyone is different, but w/ my experience, my son didn't stop being as picky until he was in 2nd grade. I also have a friend who's daughter didn't stop being as picky until 2nd grade as well. As for my daughter who is in kindergarten, she is still picky but not as bad. As for the Pediasure, I never used it. The kid's doctor said they will eat when they are hungry and won't starve themselves.

Our doctor also recommended Pediasure for my son who turned 2 in November. The Pediasure is wonderful because when they are picky eaters or just don't eat much the Pediasure makes sure they get all the vitamins they need. My son LOVES the vanilla Pediasure ~ I mix it 1/2 & 1/2 with regular milk because of the cost. Walmart has a cheaper brand that my son still loves.

I recommend using the Pediasure but also suggest giving it to him before bed. Milk has enzymes that help you sleep and the full tummy will help them sleep better also.

Also, if you are having trouble getting veggies in try mixing them in ~ Example: Mac n Cheese you can add about 2 tablespoons of finally chopped carrot when boiling the noodles. Oprah had Jerry Seinfield's wife on who has a book on adding veggies to kid friendly meals like nuggets, etc. You may try finding her book on Oprah's site she had some wonderful advise.

I was in the same boat as you are. My son was 4 weeks early so he started off small. His doctor always commented about his size, but i think they like them to catch up by the time they are two. Because that's when he suggested that I give him Pediasure. I did give him one a day, and he also liked it. I didn't really notice if he ate less, but i had been giving it to him for a week or two when he got sick. When I took him back to the doctor he had already gained 2 pounds. So I only gave it to him for about a month or two before I stopped. And by then he had gained a few pounds and the doctor was happy. I would suggest find a time to give it to him that works best for you that may not affect his eating as much. Maybe after he has his breakfast or after dinner before bed. I hope my experience helps you.

Hi B.!!
As a mother of 2 very healthy and thin children I will tell you to go with your gut. My 8 year old is only 45 pounds and my 3 year old is 24 pounds. They are extreemely healthy, active and picky eaters. My first ped. said that my oldest is a graizer. Nothing wrong with that it just means she eats all day long instead of just at meal times. I found it easiest to allow her to eat when she wants. My girls are both ones that eat what they want and trying to fight them is too exhausting. It also makes meal times a negative time instead of happy family time. They sit and they do eat some of what is made. I am not saying make a seperate meal for your child. No they try what I make and eat as much as they can. I just make sure at least something is what they will eat. They love broccoli and corn so that is always one of the veggies I make.
Don't worry about the weight. The doctors have all been on me with my girls weight. I just remind them that they are very intelligent, very active and have never been on anti-b's or had anything more than a head cold. Look at the average child. Yes, to be "thin" is not the norm. Just relax. Your gut will keep you in tune. No one knows your child better than you. If you saw that he was not acting right or really tired etc, then worry. The more upset you get and stressed the more he will. Then it's just ugly.
RELAX!!! Enjoy him. All will work out. It also my be genetic to be thin. My husband and I were both very small as children. His mom was from Japan so that plays with the weight of our girls. Plus, I was very small until almost my senior year of high school.
All I can say is relax. Give him healthy snacks, grapes, apples etc. and let it go. There is too many other important things to worry about.
I know how you feel and it makes you feel as though you are doing something wrong. I've just embraced my girls and enjoy them for the beautiful beings they are. Makes it a lot easier and it makes them more secure.
I hope this helps. Have a great one!!

Maybe you could give him the PediaSure last thing at night, maybe after dinner or right before he goes to bed. Maybe then it won't interfere with the other things he eats. The best thing to do for my 2-year old to get him to eat something he doesn't want to eat is to give him something to dip it in. We were having chicken the other night, and when he decided he didn't like chicken today my husband just gave him some low-fat ranch dressing to dip the chicken pieces in. That made it fun and he even asked for more! My experience with him is that eating is too boring, so we have to make it more exciting.

B.,
I can sympathize with you about having a picky eater. My daughter went through the same thing when she was two. I do not know if your son is into Dora, Dego, Sponge Bod, or any other charcters from TV becuase to get my daughter to eat things like corn and some other vegi's I started buying the small cans that have the one of the charecters on it. I find it easier to ask her if she wants to eat her "Dora Corn" which she usually eat more than half.
If that won't work then stick with the Pediasure but break up the servings of it. If it is cutting down on how much He is eating then the smaller amounts of it should help. Or you could give it to him as his evening snack/treat after dinner. That way it shouldn't effect his eating during the day.
Much luck,
E.