Help with a Gifted Child.

If we are in the same area, try Piqua Catholic school.( Or any alternative school that is willing to work with indivual cases). I know tution is difficult to come up with, but the school is begining (or trying) to begin a program for gifted children. To be part of the program from the beginning would be wonderful, I know they are looking for input from parents. You do not have to be catholic and they also have a tution assistance program available to everyone, not just low income families. Also there is a school in Sidney that has a program for young gifted children. I know the director. She started her son at 3 or 4. I would love to hear back from you.

please oh please oh please take your son off those medications!!! Both my husband and I were on medications for add and adhd as children and our accounts and memory of that is awful!!! They don't do anything besides dumb down your child, like he is in a fishbowl, it dulls his brain activity and sensory development!! Like your son, at a very young age people told my mother that I was gifted and your story about your son sounds like hers about me. He is not being challenged enough he is bored out of his skull and he isn't being taught in a way that reaches out to him. If at all possible put him in a private school where you have more control over the teachers and how he is taught. He is your child, whatever gut feeling you have do not go against!! Do not let some other teacher or principal tell you what they think you should do for your child, they are looking at it in terms of how to make him fit into school and class with out causing more work for them, you are his mother you know best tell them so! Besides the normal private schools in the area, CHCA, CCD, Summit, ect..there are smaller ones for gifted children, go have you son tested and if you can put him in a school accordingly. I am sorry if I say anything that sounds offensive to this, it is just I lived through this as a young child for a few years, before my mother wised up and put her foot down, took me off the meds, had me tested, and then switched schools and I excelled and was so much happier!!

To me, them saying that they "don't have anything for kids his age" is a load of BS. My oldest son is like yours in the fact that he's very academiclly gifted. Each year since pre-school, we've met with his teachers and let them know our concerns and our desire to keep him challenged. I don't know how Ohio school systems work, but in Kentucky (or at least in my school district) they will divide the children up by levels for things such as reading and math. (Meaning the more advanced children are kept challenged on their level while the "normal" or children that are slightly behind are also learning on a level that is comfortable with them.) This seems to be working so far. If they have nothing on his grade level to keep him educationally challenged, ask them to give him more appropraite work. There is no reason why he should suffer through school just because they will make concessions for a gifted child and keep him stimulated at his level. My son is in second grade but does third grade math and reading. (He's been a grade level above since preschool) Our schools don't test for gifted and talented until third grade, but I'm fine with that as long as he is learning new things and not having to "just do the work because the other kids are doing it."

My daughter is a grown woman now and when she was in school I had the same problem. She would learn quickly and then get bored, then she would get in trouble. (not anything really bad) We found that she was above average and the teachers started giving her something to do when she finished the work that was assigned. This helped a lot. At that time no one knew about ADHD and we had to deal with it without meds.
Maybe by giving your son some extra work and making it harder it would help your situation.
Today she is a school teacher. She graduated from college with honors and she specializes in biology and chemistry. She is a workaholic and tutors and works as a tech (part time) in a rehab center. Several years ago she became a teacher full time in the rehab center, teaching children who have been abused.
I found that when she got out ot hand at home I gave her a little bit of coffee and would calm her down. I have granddaughter that has fragle X syndrome and when she gets out of hand the doctor says to give her some Mountain dew. You might check with your doctor if you are having any behavior problems and see if he agrees.

S.,
I spent a number of years working in collaboration with the schools in the Greater Cleveland area. Please don't quote me on this, but my approach would include meeting with your child's Principal.

Be sure to request an I.E.P. even before you state your case. An I.E.P. is an Individual Education Plan. This plan can be developed to target your child's daily needs. Even if you are denied, this will get your Principal to talking. Most Cleveland schools supported this method years ago but I am unsure if that is still the case.

In addition, ask the Principal to allow you to meet with the school's CORE TEAM (a committee of teachers mostly found in Middle Schools but may be in some Elementary Schools) who meet consistently to discuss overall student needs. These teachers compare notes and derive at the best solution for the entire student body even if the student is not under their direct instruction.

At least you may begin to feel a sense of moving forward.

Keep me posted on your progress...best of luck!
D. G.

I can't stress enough to first get him off any meds. Everyone wants to put an overactive child on medicine so they don't have to deal with the difficult times. Try looking at his diet and try to limit his sugar and white flour intake. Then get him into gymnastics and other interactive groups. If you think he's gifted then all those classes will for sure benefit him later but now it's your job to keep him occupied and challenged. Good Luck...

Unfortunately I don't have much experience with this, but I do know my sister's family in Nashville has had to be part of groups who have gone before the State board/congress to enact legislation around this issue. The result is that now gifted is actually classified as a disability and schools are required to do something - that kids must have a same-sex peer (i.e., another gifted child) in a class in order to stay, etc. The reason it's a disability is b/c they have special needs that, left unmet, can seriously hamper their learning. As for other programs/schools - I wonder if there are certain subjects your son really excels in, could he go to the next level for those? So - for ex. - when I was in KG my older sister taught me to read. So every week my KG teacher would send me for an hour or so to the first grade class to read with them, and I got to bring back books that worked for me. Is there an opportunity for your child to do something like this while you are waiting on official testing? The only other thing I would do is try universities, where they do lots of research - even if their programs are full, they may know of others your son can join that would better suit his needs. Try the Child Development areas? Don't give up this fight. I'm trying to find foreign language immersion programs and not finding a lot - our son is pretty good with English/first lge and I feel like this age where lge. is easy is passing him by and I need to get him other opportunites. I've even thought of starting something myself!~ Good luck - ;>K.

My daughter is 7 and in the Second grade. They labeled her as gifted when she was in the first grade and she was inserted in "gifted" classes. Just a little background, When I was going through my divorce she was just 2-1/2, she developed a stutter. I immediately thought it was my fault for causing trauma in her life. You know we are all so h*** o* ourselves as mothers, anyway, I had her tested to see what exactly the cause was. At age 2-1/2 she passed the Kindergarten entrance test. Obviously she is a smart little girl. So now she has been in these gifted classes and I find that she gets more from me at home then she does through any class that is offered at school, of course it takes away from her boredom at school which is worth keeping her in them. But if you are more worried about your son academically than just the fact that he is bored, just keep working with him at home! I do not know anything about ADHD and the medicines that come along with them. But you are his mother, you know what your son needs more than anyone. Good Luck!

Hi S.,
I had similar issues with my oldest son. He didn't get in trouble at school but he is gifted, has the anxiety issues, and was frankly bored out of his mind. His behavior at school was fine but at home we were having a heck of a time getting him to bed at night and up in the morning all because he didn't want to go to school. In first grade I couldn't even tell you how many coloring pages he came home with because he had his work done before the other kids. I was like you in that there was nothing to be done until the later grades.
We decided to pull him out of "regular" school and home school him using a cyber school. We use Buckeye Online school for sucess. www.go2boss.com I cant say enough good about them. They're slogan is they are commited to learning any place at any pace. And it is great for kids with learning disibillites who don't excel in a regular classroom or gifted kids that need to be challenged. They are even able to work at one grade level in one subject and a different level in another. The people there are great with guidance and finding the right program for your child. They supply all materials, books, computer, everything free of charge (it is state funded). I was intimidated at first at the prospect of homeschooling and it isn't always easy- but my son is like a different kid now. Hes in 4th grade now and we've been doing it since 2nd. He gets his work done in 3-4 hours a day 4 days a week- so that way he has time for other things that he's interested in- which is great.
I see that you have your hands full with smaller children and I was lucky to only have one younger one when we started. It might be worth a try though. I now have my younger son in Kindergarten through BOSS and I have no doubt that if he was in a conentional classroom they would have him diagnosed with ADD. He likes to move around and has a million questions- and I love that I can take the time to answer them and he can learn even more. And that we can tailor his learning to the kind of kid he is.
Good luck- I hope you can find whats right for your family!!

You do have to fight for everything you want from the schools. I do not know where your son attends, but if they cannot accomadate your son, they they have to absorb the cost for you to send him somewhere that can. I am in a similar situation with my son and I know that I will never get him what he needs from our public schools and so we are looking into a private education. Yes, it will cost us a fortune, but I will work and the school does have some aid. We are looking into the Lawrence School in Broadview Hts. (we are in Lakewood). You can call and get a brochure. It is a school that is designed for kids with attention problems and they may also have a learning disability. Kids have to be average to above average intelligence to be accepted. The ratio is very low and they opened up a high school recently. They do prepare these kids to go to college. Furthermore, they find that many of the kids, when changed to a learning environment that targets how they learn, that they no longer need medication. I am an educator and I see the writing on the wall with the public school system. There is only so much they can or are willing to do for bright kids who do not excel in a traditional school structure. Hope this helps.

Take him off medication! I am a practicing registered nurse in peds and I am telling you take him off the meds! Volunteer in his classroom at least 2x a week. You will be able to see exactly what is going on and may approach the teacher with enrichment ideas that you could do in a small group setting with the children. Good Luck!

I also am the mother of an identified gifted child who also has ADHD. Our other two children are also identified as gifted, but without the complication of ADHD. I don't know which school district you live in, but there might be a director of services for gifted and LD for the district, and talking to that person might be helpful. If his ADHD is truly getting in the way of his learning, and is disruptive for the classroom, he may qualify for an IEP (individualized education program), which will entitle him to special consideration. It is easier to get in elementary school than in middle school, so that may be something you want to consider over the next few years.

You do not need to wait for the district-wide testing in order to have your child evaluated for identification as gifted. Psychologists and LSW's also can perform that testing privately (although you do have to pay for it). Your district also may be willing to test him separately from the other children. For a kid with ADHD, that may provide a better result since ADHD can also affect test performance! If you have evidence of the giftedness from test results, your school may be more willing to work with you.

As far as what you can do to help him now, the enrichment ideas at home are great - but they don't have to be so formal, or even so disruptive to the lives of the littler kids! We found that the public library is one of the best resources - go hang out there after school. Good libraries will have activities for your little kids, and most librarians love to help bright kids find books to learn more about things they love. Ask his teacher if he can take a book to school with him, and read at his desk when he is finished with his classroom work but is waiting for his classmates to catch up. Or, does he like to draw? If he always has a sketch pad and pencil, he can do that when he is bored. It's the boredom that drives the bad behavior...

Don't give up on the medication front. If the medication was helping but isn't any longer, it's possible you need either to adjust the dosage or try a new medication. It takes a lot of time, effort, and patience on your part to find the right medication and the right dose - and there is no guarantee that the same medication will work forever. My son, who is now 14, probably tried 4 different meds until we found one that worked without too many horrible side effects. Your pediatrician will be able to help with this. Try to chart his response to the medication - if you can tell when the effect wears off, make a note of that - it can help to determine dosages.

Last of all, there are schools which are specifically for kids in your child's situation. If the public schools can't help, that may be a route to explore. We finally removed our son from public schools in the middle of 8th grade, and have him at a private school. The difference has been huge. He is learning to manage his ADHD and is finally achieving near his potential.

Good luck!

I am not familiar with where you live but have taught art classes for a gifted and talented Saturday program in Northern KY (there is also one like this in Cincinnati with classes in art, math, science, language arts, etc.) that covers grades K-8. You may want to call the school district again or even some of your surrounding districts and ask to speak with the Gifted and Talented Coordinator for ideas. There is sure to be Saturday classes somehere. Also I would check with your library. They do chess classes at ours and some other classes.

Good Luck Hope this helps~
E.

I also have a son who is gifted and it does present challenges. When my son was too young for the special programs, his teachers would allow him extra library or computer time or provide extra work when he completed his tasks before the other children. We were lucky that his teachers were proactive in keeping him busy so we didn't have any behavior issues.

S.,

I cannot help you with the school situation, and it sounds like you are unable to home school, but perhaps you could afford to purchase one or two subjects from the curriculum that they use, and thus enrich his education. Go visit www.ohva.org which will tell you all about the free public charter school, as well as the K12 curriculum featured (and it is used nationwide). Now, this is really stretching, but if his teacher has a computer in the classroom, perhaps he could play something like "Reader Rabbit" or "Jumpstart 1st Grade" as a reward for being good.

I don't know. I homeschool our 6-year-old 1st grade boy, and while it isn't always easy, it IS much better than sending him off and expecting a teacher with a classroom full of other little kids to give him all the attention he requires and deserves. Learning should be fun, and self-paced is quite beneficial. I know public school teachers have to educate everyone in the class, but, to me, my son is the most important student in the world. I never did send him to any public school. I don't worry at all about that most common specter of "socialization," because my son actually gets more social time than brick-and-mortar students (who, of course, are told "you are not here to socialize; you are here to do your schoolWORK." We are active, and interact with people other than 6-year-olds. We have schoolFUN every day, speed through lessons he easily understands, and linger on things that are more difficult. Whatever else he may be, he is NOT bored.

I hope you can find an equitable solution for your precious little one. I would suggest speaking with the teacher again. Volunteer time in his class, and do more advanced work with a select group.

Best wishes,
K.

S.,

I highly recommend a colleage of mine, Dr. Ed Amend, a psychologist in Lexington, Kentucky, who specializes in the needs of gifted children. He typically provides assessment, treatment, and consultation with schools. Let me know if you need any further information.

T.

My aunt had two kids like this. They didn't have the ADHD part but they were very bored at school, made many excuses to come home, excessed in everything they did and still did more at home. My aunt would do the same as you, where she would do extra stuff and home and use school as increasing social skills until the third grade. My son is now 4, he is very smart and ahead of his preschool class. We are working through the kindergarten curriculum at home. He is sounding out words, and writing letters to people. He also has high anxiety. If he is not busy he just lets his mind wonder to all the "what if's" in the world. When they learned about fire safety at school, he needed 3 ways out of the house..FROM EVERY ROOM in the house incase there was a fire while he was in that room.
I know a big thing right now in some of the school districts is to have the goal that a child should excess in every subject from the place they are when they start until the end of the year. Meaning, if they are a certain percentage above in a certain area when they start the grade, by the end of the grade they should still be that far ahead or above the ending point for that grade.
In my mom's school district, out by Pendleton IN she has "resource" classes for the kindergartens. It's her job to run the resource class. They have one for kids that are behind and another for the gifted kids that are a head of the game.
I'm sorry I didn't have any advice for you. Just wanted to let you know you weren't alone in your struggles, some have come before you and some are after you...all are searching for the answer. Best of luck!