Help with a Decision Early Retire or Not

My first response is that your urgency to leave sounds a bit like a mid-life crisis mixed with winter doldrums. You've got three pretty substantial reasons why this is not a great idea at this phase in your life. You seem to be considering risking a lot, for what? So that you can "be living the way we want, doing what we want, working where we want"? I'm sorry, but that's what you do when you're in your 20's and childless or your children are grown and you're retired. Do some people die, get ill or become disabled in their late 40's and early 50's? Sure. But that could happen any time. There is really nothing in your dream that can't be put off for 4-5 years, until you son is done with high school, you can get your mother settled into a care arrangement that works for her, and you can save up to be able to purchase insurance for you and your husband. To go into your pre-retirement years without heath insurance is crazy.

Use your dream as a way to start a really, really great five-year-plan so that when the time is right, you're able to look ahead and enjoy every minute of your new life, not stressing out about whether or not your child is feeling isolated and resentful, about whether or not your mother is being cared for, about what would happen if heaven forbid you or your husband became sick or injured and you lost everything and then had to come back and be a financial burden on your grown children. Please also consider the quality of life that your 13-year-old would have. I have two 13-year-olds and living in an RV would be their biggest nightmare. But even if he has your adventurous spirit, please consider the nature of relationships that he would be able to have living at a KOA. Not to be snobby but we have a KOA near us and the "residents" who are not retirees are kind of sketchy, transient, families-on-the-move-living-under-the-radar types. I would think it would be difficult for him to find quality kids to be friends with and to be able to maintain those friendships for more than a short period of time, and for teens, a good peer groups is so, so important.

You most definitely should wait until your son is out of school (unless he is begging to do this) Taking him out now to pursuit your 'dream' would be so selfish IMO -sorry. Four years is NOT too long to wait.

And I agree with the others that insurance IS a big deal. It would be very irresponsible of you to just shuck this all away right now. You guys are still so young and still responsible for a child. I am sure if you polled us here on the board MANY would say that yeah-they are not 'living their dream'. Instead they are doing what they need to do to spport their children and themselves every day and finding their joys in the smaller things of everyday existence.

You should spend the next five years really figuring this out. Save every penny and get a game plan on how to make this dream happen. Do it in a responsible and adult way and you will not regret it.

The insurance is a BIG deal. Check out all the possibilities before you change your lifestyle. You don't want to be stuck in a campground with major medical problems and no way to pay the thousands of dollars you'll need. That doesn't make a retirement happy!

Any decision you make must have your young son as one of the decision-makers. He might enjoy a change, or he might be anxious to stay in the same area and the same school district. He's part of your family and a part of it you love dearly.

You also want to investigate thoroughly the options for your mother. She may be very happy for you to be able to go after your dreams, but you want to make sure she has good physical and emotional care before you drive away.

I'm thinking that you're doing the important thing right now: planning for the future and taking steps - even if they seem like baby steps - toward the next phase of your life. It's wonderful when you can live your dreams, but don't be pressured by the regrets of others. Think everything through! Get sound advice! Then take steps.

It's great to have dreams, but you need to think about your family (mostly your 13 year old son) first. We would all like to have our dream job, but most jobs are just that--jobs. You and your husband are still young. You could easily wait 4 more years to go live in an RV. IMHO, it is not fair to your 13 year old to live in an RV at a KOA campground--it's your dream, not his! Also, you could easily live another 40-50 years. Do you have enough in your pension, retirement, etc.?

We are a military family and have lived in six very different places. There is no perfect place. Also, we have seen many Army officers turn down an awesome command or promotion because it was not in the best interest of their family.

I have not read any of the other responses. Personally, if I were in your current situation there would be no way I'd even consider it. My reasons would be as follows...

My children, they are used to public school. They would not get the same education and social experiences being homed schooled. I have no experience in home schooling, and do not have all the skills to teach them. What about his connections to his friends and family?

Medical insurance -as we get older more and more health issues arrise. Not to mention the need for medications. Also, you never know when a child may get injured and need a rush to the emergency room. Do you have savings available to cover this?

Parents - ok assisted living is an option and may happen whether your arround or not, but don't they deserve contact with you, regular visits?

Have you met with a financial advisor to make sure you can afford this type of lifestyle?

Yes, I agree, a lot can happen in 4 years. But you could also live healthy lives for another 30 years that would allow you to fullfill your dream. IMO wait another 4 years.

I read the previous responses and wanted to give one where things worked out... sometimes things actually do. :)
My parents are now 68. They take one relatively large trip every year or every other year these days. They waited until they were comfortable financially to retire and then spent a month driving across country. That was at about age 61 or 62 (for both of them). My mom "retired" several years before my Dad completely stopped working. He retired from his career and then took a job selling suits at a department store to maintain health insurance until he was almost eligible for medicare. They built their retirement home on 4 acres of land, built their own barn, did their own landscaping. Dad even bought a tractor. (big boy toys!)

He fell while building their barn. Over $70,000 in emergency and ICU care later (he had decided to "risk" the last few months before HE was eligible - my mom is a few months older so she already had her coverage in place). So they had to pay it ALL out of pocket. It really has affected how they live since then. Blessedly, he recovered (broke his back, his shoulder and had a concussion) but now they have to watch their spending quite a bit more than they would have otherwise. They still travel. But they don't spend as much or stay in as nice of hotels and go less frequently. They can't be as generous with the grandkids as they once were either.

They also have NO other responsibilities than each other.

I would not plan to do something like you are talking about until my youngest child was self supporting. My own son is 12 1/2 in 7th grade, and I cannot for the life of me, imagine uprooting him to live in a campground. They are VERY vulnerable emotionally at this age. I personally was uprooted for a job transfer in 10th grade and it made my high school years far less than the "cherished memories" most kids have.

Be careful and put your son first. It isn't his fault that he is 13 or that you guys live in IA. He didn't choose that.

Just my 2¢.

Mary's response was spot on. Insurance is a huge issue and a large expense. In all honestly, I'd be more concerned that you and your husband don't have insurance than your 13 yr old. I'm sure the probability that you would need catastrophic medical assistance is greater than the chance he would (unless he's very athletic).

I would certainly ask your son how he feels. Moving right when he starts high school and then transitioning to home schooling (or virtual schooling) is a huge step at that point in a teen's life. It may be exciting, but if he has good friends and solid social relationships, you may want to think about making a 4-5 year plan to make the transition. That way, you and your husband can do this when your son goes to college (or comes with you and studies at a local college or whatever else he may decide to do after graduation. My 13 year old would rather live with another family than leave his friends at this point. LOL ...

I see where you're coming from. My parents were planning for early retirement when 2 1/2 years ago my father was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. he was with us for nearly 9 more months and then passed at the very young age of 51. He was active with no prior medical issues when this surprised us all ...

So yes I understand exactly why you should go for your dreams for you and your husband, but you wouldn't want do to it at the detriment of your son and his development at this age. Now, if he's an adventurous sort who would be comfortable and motivated to continue excelling with a home schooling environment, and if he wants to do this as well (not just because he thinks you guys want to do it), then go for it!

Good luck with your decision!

I think your son is the main factor here. What does he think. Does he want to do this and spend his high school years this way, or does he have friends and want to stay in IA?
If your son wants to stay then stay, you owe it to him to give him those years. Once he's out of the house and happily on his own, then go for it and live your dream.
If your son is all for it and wants to do it then I say do it! But you'll need to find an affordable health insurance plan, you AND your son will need it. Its no fun to be uninsured (trust me, I know). You are always weighing the cost of going to the doctor with the benefit.

I had a friend do this, they sold their home and paid off their camper, put things in storage with the daughter and went on their merry way as two lovebirds for almost three years. When their youngest son came back from war and had some medical issues so they left the campground circuit. He is doing well now and is productive member of society.

Now they are back in Dallas area living in a beautiful triple wide on five acres and enjoying life again. They didn't have to worry so much about medical as hubby was retired military and they could get medical attention.

So do think through your dream life and plan it out step by step. Your 13 year old shoudl have a say in it as it will affect him for the next 5 years. Your mom will probably give you her blessing to move about and then you won't have to worry about the would have/should have thing of regrets. I too know what others are saying about doing your own thing and dream to have one not be there to enjoy the planned goal but this is part of life.

Good luck and happy trails to you.

The other S.

There is alot to consider here.
1) Your Mom: Assisted living cost $2500/month and medicare does not pay for it. What happens is when she enters a nursing home or assisted living facility she has to sign papers turning her bank account and home over to them. They withdraw the rent each month until the money is gone, then do a reverse mortgage on her home. After all of that is gone she can qualify for medical assistance.
2) Your 13 yr old son. I think it is selfish to take away his High School experience and not have insurance to cover him if he needs it. The memories from High School are treasured memories and in most cases traditional education prepares him for College. Colleges don't just look at test scores and GPA any more they look at community involvement, volunteer work, and what extra-curricular activites he joins. They now want students who are well rounded. I also think it is selfish to remove him from his older siblings and grandparents. He needs those relationships.
Believe me I understand where you are coming from. My oldest is 35 and my youngest is 19, I raised children for 34 years. It was not easy but worth it. I live in Wisconsin, much colder than Iowa. I would love to move somewhere warm but now I am caring for my elderly Mom, who lives with me. She is almost 94, I have no siblings, both dead. I do have my kids but they are busy raising their own families, so I can't even take a vacation.
Four years is not that long -- look back to your first child's 1st day of kindergarten. It doesn't seem like 20 yrs ago does it?

I completely agree with what the ladies below said.

I just have one addition.

My mom and dad were the same way, but they just kept putting things off to "until we get this one thing finished." There was always "one thing." It never happended for them. My dad died at the age of 48.

If it's not at the expense of your son or your health, I say go for it.
I personally would much rather live with the regrets of what I tried and failed at then live with the regrets of not trying.

Have you considered relocating to somewhere warm where you both could work and your son could finish school. I live in Minnesota so know how long winters can be but hitting the road with a 13yr old and no insurance may not be the best choice. In 4 years you will be fairly young and the 2 of you can do what you want at that time and you will both be closer to Medicare so will only have to pay for insurance for a shorter time. I recommend at least a catastrophic insurance for large expenses.

Talk to your own personal financial planner and get a clear picture of your options - there are types of insurance that might work for you that you're not aware of and you need to get all the facts. Talk to your son, and also find out about home schooling and such - it's entirely possible that RVing will be a bonus in terms of his education because of the experiences you will have. I would think that there's a major educational project in the experience.

You may have to wait, but you may not - check with the appropriate professionals - education, insurance, financial, etc. and then do what works best for you. Good luck and enjoy!

Yes, I think you would be a great candidate to write Suze Orman. Or at least watch her show on Saturday nights. I live in Central Florida and she is on at 9:00 pm EST. She goes over all your finances and gives her honest opinion.

I used to live in Westport, MA, but hatted the cold bitter winters. I am much happier being here. But you need to look over your finances, and Suze Orman is GREAT to watch on tc, she gives just the tipe of advice you are looking for.

I am 65, adopted two kids who are now 15 and 13. We have five years before our dtr graduates HS. We live in northern MN... the great frozen north. I hate winter, visit my adult dtr in CA when the going gets rough, usually alone. My hub has FT job with ins, etc. We need it!! There is NO way I could even think about the RV lifestyle, probably never. I have had serious heart problems recently after years of excellent health. I am still in excellent health, except my heart is messed up (actual heart, arteries, etc. are great). We live across the street from the school. The kids routinely bring friends home after school. They have a great life and I am waiting the five years to make any plans. There are no guarantees in life.
I have had lots of great times in life, too.