Help!! What to Do About Our Dog??

Updated on May 13, 2007
A.B. asks from Elm Creek, NE
21 answers

Ok for all you animal lovers please don't be to h*** o* me, I will admit that I am not an animal lover!! And my hubby is...so I am not sure what to do!!
I have to give some background info. for you to all understand. When my hubby was getting a divorce his ex accused him of animal crulity...so they took his bestfriend away and gave him to her...2 days later she had the dog put down. So my husband is really bitter about that!
So we got our girls a dog for Valentine's Day. A black lab! She is a great dog and all, but I feel like I was mislead about the dog. This dog was going to be a work dog! Going to work with my husband and then coming home at night. But this is yet to happen.
I am pregnant and due in Aug and starting school this summer as well as working a part time job! I don't have time to take care of this dog!!
The hair is so nasty! I have to vac my kitchen atleast 3 times a day and even then you would never think that I do. I vac my house atleast one time a day and only the living room, hallway, our bed room. And my vac is totally full. I hate to think that my kids can't sit on the floor and play because of all the dag hair. It really makes me so sick.

I just don't want to be the one doing it all. This is not my dog or my idea...My husband never gives her a bath, brushes her, OR feeds her. I do it all. I am so frusterated with it. I have told him and he says that we are keeping the dog no matter what! And there is nothing that I can do about it. Please help me figure out what to do..It is really taking a tole on my marriage!

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H.M.

answers from Omaha on

I was a dog groomer before i had my babies. The best thing to do for a dog that is shedding like that is to get a good quality slicker brush and brush him whenever you have a spare moment. That way you remove the hair and it doesn't fall on the ground. Best advice I have. I had dogs come in every other day for a good brushing. These people paid 40 bucks for this a time and couldn't do without it cause it cut down on the hair so much. Most dogs I would just suggest shaving them but labs hair is so short and thin really that it never ever really seemed nec. If you need instruction or help I would be happy to help. Also, might want to suggest trying a better quality food if you are using a store brand one. Sometimes the more expensive brands help with hair quality and such.

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R.A.

answers from Boise on

I don't think its very fair of him to say "no matter what" but he probably is still recovering from the dirty trick his ex played on him. An ultimatum about the dog might freak him out.

Is there any reason why the dog can't stay outside? At least a benefit is that the dog can run around all she wants and you don't have to worry about shedding. Another is the gate idea mentioned before. Or you could tell him that when he's at work and doesn't take the dog with him that the dog will be in the backyard.

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S.C.

answers from Omaha on

Hi A.!
I'm am guilty of being a dog lover. I own six!!! Four are great pyreness/boxer,lab mix. One is a basset, and one a mixed terrior. They are all inside dogs. The first four all have the same parents, but are from different litters, so I have two ten month olds and two three month olds. Well, I found through research that the four pups are highly intellegent yet stubborn. Thus problems everywhere!! However, as Dani suggested, Cesar Millan is EXCELLENT!! I checked out his book at the library due to the fact that my head was beginning to hurt from all the hair I was pulling out over the pups! LOL! (Remember, I am a dog lover!!) After reading his book and applying his methods, I now have six beautiful dogs that I can take anywhere and do anything with! He is a miracle worker!! I would suggest that Hubby read his book. Your hubby will want to kiss the feet of Cesar, I know I did!! And he will have the dog he so dearly desires. And here's a plus...by reading Cesar's book and following his advise, your hubby will be bonding with your dog and be taking responsibility off your shoulders! The way Cesar approaches things doesn't seem like work, anyway, not to me. It's fun! So there's an added bonus! As for the shedding, I deal with that too. I got the two younger pups for my girls, ages 11 & 13. So I've made it quite clear that brushing is THEIR job. They think it's fun so they don't consider it work. I even let them put ribbons and fancy collars on them. Takes all the "work" out of it that way. And the vacumming thing...I vacumm once a day. I was exactly like you and didn't want the girls or grandkids sitting on the floor. Then I found a solution at Walmart.com. It's called an extended gate. LOL!! I put that sucker up and viola! No more dogs in the living room! They only get in when I allow it! Now the kids can sit all they want on the floor! And it cuts WAY down on vacumming. Call me nuts, but I wouldn't get rid of my dogs for anything! They love my family unconditionally, protect them naturally when threatened, and after training them correctly, couldn't ask for a more perfect addition to the family, next to a baby, of course! Congrats on your new baby girl and KUDOS for going to college!! Hang in there and have Hubby go to the library......LOL!!

Just Me!
S.

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D.S.

answers from Billings on

A.,

It sounds like it isn't so much the dog as it is the hubby who didn't keep a promise. You sound overwhelmed.

I encourage you go out and set up some obedience classes for your hubby and the dog. Pay for them and arrange them on an evening that your hubby can do this. Let him know in a "positive" way that if your keeping the dog then he needs to spend time with his dog. Most dog people want to bond with their dogs. give the obediance classes as a gift, not a job.

What type of vaccum do you have? I have a Dyson...they are worth every penny.

Also if your dog is getting a high qaulity dog food with omega fatty acids then they will not shed as much. You can also add supplents/oil to their food.

a lab is an active dog that needs to have a life. Your husband needs to realize that by not making the commitement he promised that he is in a way he is being cruel. When dogs are bored they can become destructive.

Also keep in mind it takes a Lab about three years to mature into adult doghood.

Talk to your hubby about taking your dog to a groomer every two to three weeks and see if this helps with the shedding. This will also be one less job for you. It should not be to expensive since your dog is a lab.

Check out Cesar Millan on the Discovery Channel. He is the best dog behaviorlist around. The man is amazing. He has several books out.

I hope this helps

Take care

D.

http://www.myspace.com/danettscott

www.alwaysfollowyourdream.com

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S.W.

answers from Iowa City on

A.-
I totally hear you about all the mess the dog makes. I have a rot/lab and doberman. I have to admit I am the one who says they aren't going no matter what though. My husband could probably relate with you. Of course your husband is the one that should be taking care of her and her messes! Tell him he has to brush & bathe her at least once a week. I also found it really helps the shedding (among other things) if the dog is walked daily. I think the walking helps the process along and then most of it is shed outside. Also a high quality dog food seems to help and have a special place for the dog to lay. I would not try to force him to get rid of the dog though, I can tell you my dogs are like my older kids! Even though you aren't too fond of the dog just think of the protection and companionship she will provide to your child.
Brekka

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L.J.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

((((((HUGS)))))) I think your hubby needs to get on the band wagon and help you... Our beloved golden lab passed away a year ago....And the hair became part of our household....Sorry.... They shed and shed and shed..there is no stopping it...We now have a golden retreiver and I see more hair ahead...The best thing is wooden floors...They are so much easier to clean with the hair...We now have a german shepherd/siberian huskie which has two coats of hair..Yes more hair....
Can I make a suggestion....When we got our goldne retriever which is 6 months old....Everyone swore they would help...After 2 weeks of pure choas in my home and I doing everything I decided I couldn't take care of him...He is a very very hyper dog...I'm a animal lover and I sat down the family and told them the puppy is gone tomorrow if I don't get help from each and everyone of them.. especially m husband...I told them I would not keep repeating my plea that he would be gone in a heart beat...Well I get help because Remmy is everyones puppy....He has turned into a sweet and loving dog or puppy. Labs are the sweetest dogs and our lab protected our family all the time...He was at our side all the time...
Your hubby may be fearful to love this dog because of what happened with his other one...but yet he feels the family needs a dog...
You have your hands full and you need help from your husband....If hubby says we are keeping the dog no matter what then he has to step up to the plate and help otherwise dog is gone....
L.

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S.W.

answers from Omaha on

Quick bit of help (hopefully) - our dalmatian sheds a lot, regardless of the amount of brushing/bathing that we do. I have found a great source of help in Brewer's yeast. You can purchase at most grocery/discount stores in the pet aisle and is about $8.00/jar. Our dog gets 7 tablets a day (one for each 10 lbs of weight) and I just sprinkle them over her food. She eats them up and, over time, it really cuts down on the shedding. I know this doesn't address the communication issues in your relationship, but it might help with the dog hair!

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K.L.

answers from Boise on

Hi A.,
No worries.... your words are not the words of an animal hater -- its about having a clean house. It sounds like your dog is shedding like crazy, very normal for a dog that spends time inside/outside. The coat of a lab is very heavy. It takes a good amount of time/effort to brush it enough to pull the hair out. You probably ought to have the dog groomed at a shop. You do not need to take her to a fancy shop for just a basic groom. The large pet stores have very reasonable prices. While she is there, they can clip her nails too. Plan to have her groomed month or every other month and you'll be amazed at how much cleaner your house will be.
G'Luck!

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N.E.

answers from Des Moines on

As far as the dog hair goes, I would suggest having the dog Furminated. It is a hair removal system that can be done at a couple of vet/grooming offices in Des Moines. We take our dogs to Avondale Pet Resort on the South Side. They do a great job. They basically give them a bath and brush them out with a special comb that gets all the underhair out. We have our Labs done about every 4 weeks and it works wonders. Right now is a hard time for dog hair as they are shedding thier winter coats.

You can get more information at www.furminator.com. It explains the process and can give you a list of local places that offer the service.

Hopefully that helps a little and good luck with everything else!

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C.N.

answers from Omaha on

A., I feel your pain sweetheart! Only I also wanted our dog when we got her 3 years ago. She is a yellow lab. But I have the same problems as you now. I have a 10 month old and my husband doesn't do anything for our dog either. Really I feel sorry for her. If she would run away I would use that as an excuse and get rid of her. Our dog is very attached to us and doesn't leave our site. She is a good dog but I just don't have time for he either. I am also in school (working on my master's)and working full time. My husband works 6 days a week and sometimes doesn't eevn get home until 9. I would really just sit down and talk to your husband and tell him you can not take care of the dog anymore and you you feel bad that neither of you can give her the attention she needs and wants. Especially with a new baby on the way. maybe down the road when your kids are grown and they can help feed her and play with her, etc, you guys can TALK about getting nother dog. I don't think our hubands realize that these dogs are like children and they are 100% dependent on us for everything. If he can take her to work I would tell him he needs to take her or else... Good Luck A..

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R.C.

answers from Boise on

Hi A.,
I am concerned that your husband believes he can tell you that you are keeping the dog no matter what, and that you believe there is nothing you can do about it.
I would encourage you to stand up for yourself and firmly but nicely state that you had an agreement when you got the dog, that if your husband is not going to hold up his end of the agreement, that the dog will have to go.
Your feelings and wants matter, too, A.. Your husband's feelings and wants are not more important than yours. I understand that he is sad about his other dog, but don't allow that to become an excuse to walk all over you. We can't let people mistreat us based on how they are feeling about a particular subject or on a certain day.
Setting boundaries and expectations for how you want to be treated (with respect!) is not only taking care of yourself, but you are setting an example for your children.
Here is a good website that will help you learn how to set boundaries: http://heart-2-heart.ca/women/page14.html
Warmest regards,
R.

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J.M.

answers from Des Moines on

You need to discuss with you're husband what you thought the responsibilities for each person were going to be, how they seem to be "out of whack" with that preface, and then ask him for a solution.

If he's decided that he doesn't want to take the dog to work. Maybe you should look at getting a fenced kennel for outside. that way the dog can stay out of the house.

Labs can be big dogs. my uncle has one and honestly, not so much an inside dog. They can be very hyper/excitable, and that may not be something you want with small children.

If your kids are supposed to be the ones learning the responsibility, then have them do things like vaccuum. You can get a swiffer thing and have them start doing some of these things like watering, etc.

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M.G.

answers from Denver on

Oh how I feel your pain! Only my husband says I nagged him into getting a dog. This is NOT the case, anyway now we have a hairy black dog too! We fought and fought and fought. I finally said if you love that dog then do something with him or give him up - it is not fair to the dog.
Ok so what really worked was when we were NOT fighting about the dog I said honey I want to talk to you and I do NOT want to fight. I calmly explained it was too much for me. I sort of did the I just can't keep up, I am trying to keep our home nice for the kids and resale and I can't do it. I told him I loved the dog (ok, it was one lie) but that I was wondering which of the following chores he could take off of me in regards to the dog. Only give him the ones to choose from that are the big ones - this will make him catch on when he starts doing that chore.
See our dog had free run of the back yard and would do his business everywhere so my kids could not even use the yard! Currently he is being boarded until our house is built and I laid down the law, he is going in a kennel in the back yard during the day - period, I can NOT keep up with him (the dog not the hubby). Besides dogs are happier outside and you can get a kennel at Lowes pretty cheap. All I can say is GOOD LUCK! Our battle was 3 yrs. long. :)

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

A.,

I hear you. My thought is to treat your hubby like a kid and tell him that one of his additional morning jobs is to put the dog out, feed/water it and then in the evening when he gets home have him do one of the lovely vaccum sessions. Then maybe he will understand you better. Don't let it ruin your marriage. Then maybe ask when he is planning on taking the dog to work even he tries it for one week to see if it will work. Plus, let him know that the dog may have to spend more time in the yard or kennel once you have the baby and start back to school.

I wish you the best of luck. Congrats on making a great decision to go back to school. Enjoy! Best wishes to you in Aug when the baby comes as well!!!
A.

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T.N.

answers from Yakima on

HI A....
I had a black lab for the past 2 years. I know the problems with shedding oh to well! lol Here is what we did and it was wonderful. We decided to start shaving our dog. He looked more beautiful then when he wasnt shaved. It was a big improvment as far as there was no more shedding and no more worries about the dog hair all over. You should try that cause it would help alot! Black Labs are great with kids. I was pregnant with my youngest when we got him. He was very good to her, very protective of both our girls. Black Labs are awesome. Try shaving him! Hope that helps.
T.

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A.G.

answers from Lincoln on

You need to sit him down and tell him your concerns about the hair, wear and tear on the house etc. Let him know you want the dog, but there has to be some sort of compromise, since you are doing all the care taking at this point. Restrict him/her to outside and only inside if bad weather, etc. Also, you have to get him to agree to help a little with the care taking. He has to give her/him a bath and groom 1x a week or pay to take him to the groomers. Just try to come to some middle ground. It is not fair for him to want the dog and expect you to do all the work

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M.W.

answers from Lincoln on

First of all. . .I am a dog lover! But. . my dog doesn't shed. I don't know what to tell you, but I could not live with that either and I don't think you would be out of line in any regards to let him know if he doesn't take responsibility for the dog that the dog has to go. You are talking about the health of your kids, your overall home and your marriage. Do not feel like you can't say how you feel because of his past, or you will just become more and more miserable.

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D.W.

answers from Davenport on

I understand your situation. Number one, your husband should be the one taking care of the dog since he wanted it so bad. That is very unfair to you. If that is the case, I would definately put the dog outside for most of the day. Its nice outside and it wont hurt the dog. I dont know if this is something you might be able to do, but I would block one room off from the dog. So that you can put your child down on the floor and not have to worry about hair and the dog stepping on the child. Or, block the dog off in the kitchen only. I have two big dogs, and I know all about the hair!! I have a husky and she sheds bad. I hope I helped in some sort of way. Good luck!!

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N.L.

answers from Rapid City on

A.,

It doesn't seem like your husband is being very respectful of you to me. His background may be an idicator of his wanting to keep the dog but it's no excuse! It's tough being pregnant and raising other kids at the same time, let alone a puppy. Actually, I'm doing the same now (due in 4 weeks). However, my daughter and husband share in the duties of caring for the puppy. We take turns. To me, this seems the only respectful thing to do.

Sorry, I can't really offer a solution. I can only empathize with what you're going through! Puppies are hard work and even harder when you're energy is down due to pregnancy! I might suggest not feeding or grooming the dog anymore and see if he steps up. This is difficult, however, because you don't want the dog to suffer & yourself because you have to clean more and endure the odor (and of course, you can't starve the dog)! I really don't know what else to say! Sorry!

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S.S.

answers from Omaha on

Frustrating huh?! I am in your same situation. My husband wanted a hunting dog sooooooo bad to go hunting with, which I found hilarious because my husband doesn't hunt. He got a german shorthaired pointer and then I found out I was pregnant. I was ok w/the dog while I was pregnant but the second I got home after giving birth I hated him. I told my husband that I wanted him to get rid of the dog and he freaked out and said he would never do that. Over the past 8 months we have had many fights about him. He says he would miss him to much which I also find hilarious because he is hardly home and when he is home he watches tv in our bedroom and the dog isn't allowed in there so I'm always the one stuck w/him. And he is destructive! We are on our 8th tv remote control because he likes to chew them up, he sits around the table and begs for food when we are eating which disgusts me, he barks his a** off when anyone comes to the door and when we have guests over he jumps all over them, he digs up our backyard and we have a doggie door so he tracks dirt and mud in (I go through several cans of Resolve carpet cleaner in a month). So many times I have wanted to take his collar off and leave the gate to the fence in the backyard open so that he runs off, but my husband knows I don't like him and would know I did it on purpose. I do have to say this though, he is REALLY great w/the baby. I had to realize that this is not worth ruining my marriage over, the dog won't live forever. I'm sorry for going on and on about my doggie issues. I just don't have anyone to vent to about him and was strangely happy to find someone else w/the same problem. I really don't have any advise for you, unless you want to leave your gate open, but I do wish you the best of luck!

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R.P.

answers from Waterloo on

It would appear that your husband's ex knew something about your husband that you didn't. That said none of this is the dogs fault and he/she deserves a home where he/she will be loved and cared for. If your husband refuses to take care of HIS dog then find him/her a good home. As for your kids being around the dog hair relax...I raised four kids and seven German shepherd dogs and neither suffered from the messes the others made.

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