Help! Urgent! What Can I Do Regarding House That Was Awarded to Ex in Divorce?

Updated on February 19, 2014
T.A. asks from Arlington, TX
15 answers

Ok, our divorce was finalized the beginning of November. He was awarded the house in the divorce decree, which was fine since I didn't want it and cound't afford it. Both of our names are on the deed and mortgage. He was suppose to refinance to remove my name from the note, and at the same time, I would sign over the deed. Now the ex is telling me that he can't refinance because of his debt to income ratio, and his credit score dropped dramatically due to purchases he made over the holidays. He says it will take months! I have never had an attorney, partly because our divorce was uncontested but also because I couldn't afford it. And he knew that. I have been to 5 different attorneys for consultations, and none of them seems to be able to help me. They say there is nothing I can do. What are my options? Can I somehow force my ex to refinance in a certain amount of time ro force him to sell? I asked him to sell, and he says no, especially since there is no equity in the home (according to him). What are my choices? What can I do? I'm just trying to cover my butt. If he defaults, it will hurt me. I have worked very h*** o* my credit, and it is good. Also, he has alwyas been a "slow-pay", never paying on the 1st, always 5-13 days later. Today I find out that he just now paid and payment is still pending! It's the 18th! He tells me he's struggling to pay mortgage and bills, which concerns me even more. Please tell me of any options I may have. *Update* The divorce decree is poorly constructed, and the wording is not good. It actually says he was awarded the house but he is suppose to sign the deed over to me. Just hoping there'ssome sort of technicality. A couple of the attorneys I have contacted have been referrals through the Tarrant County Bar Association.

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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

Your position is my field of expertise. First I want to say that as long as he pays within the grace period of 15 days after the payment is due, it isn't a negative mark on your credit report. Call the lender to see if there are any late payments, also have them send you a payoff letter so you can see what is owed.

BTW The mortgage company and the QC deed have nothing to do with each other. Silly advice to call the mortgage company and tell them that he was awarded the house. They would laugh at you and say too bad, you still own the house and no Judge in the world can make the bank take your name off the mortgage.

Also I wish you would have had the decree state that he had 6-12 months to refinance or it has to be sold. You really should have the decree fixed regarding him signing the deed over to you.

There is nothing he can do to refinance if the house is under water. Therefore he cannot be forced to refinance by the courts. You will have to go back to court to force a sale. BUT do realize you will probably be forced to pay your half of the monies owed at closing.

I would talk to ex about getting a realtor in there to do a market analysis and see how much the house is under water and go from there. Also have him apply for a refinance through a mortgage broker and show you the denial letters to prove he has tried. This way you know what your dealing with.

The only small saving grace is that if you decide to buy a home in the near future and the ONLY blemish on your credit report is this house that has been awarded to him, some lenders will overlook those dings, especially if you have a decent down payment. BUT if the blemishes were there before he was awarded the house, they will probably frown on that.

The only time you should sign the quit claim deed is at his refinance closing or the sale of the home. A quit claim deed MUST be signed at the closing or the refinance CANNOT take place, it cannot be signed after the refinance. Word of advice, let him hire an attorney to prepare the Q.C. Deed, you don't need the added expense. It's very easy to read a deed and I'm sure you can google it too.

You don't have to contact any more attorneys. They deal with this all day long and there is nothing they can do for you.

If you need any more advice or help, feel free to PM me.

5 moms found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Call the mortgage company and ask them. You have a legal document stating it's no longer your house. You should be able to fill out a Quit Claim Deed and both of you sign it and it's done. Not that hard. Good luck.

5 moms found this helpful

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Look into a partition sale. You'll need an attorney, but forcing it just may get your ex motivated to a) find a way to refinance, or b) at least get current on his payments. And in the end, the property will be gone and you'll no longer have a mortgage note with your name on it hanging out there...

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Houston on

The divorce decree doesn't impact the terms of any loans or debts. The best you can hope for is specifiying a time frame on an amended decree which specifies a date by which he must refinance and/or sell jointly held debts. If he doesn't comply for whatever reason, then you'd have to go back to court to find him in contempt of the court orders. It will all take time and money. There is no easy way out of this. My husband found this out with his ex to the tune of six figures across various debts she decided she no longer wanted to pay regardless of what their decree said. The end result was him filing bankruptcy to get out from under the debts awarded to her per their decree. The lenders were unsympathetic at best. They wanted their money not excuses about who got what debt per the decree. It was a maddening situation and it did wreck his credit which we have worked hard over the last few years to rebuild. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Richland on

There is actually nothing you can do at this point. Creditors do not recognize divorce decrees.

Our divorce spelled out I had six months to refinance our mortgage or I would be compelled to sell the home. If you had that you could have taken him to court for contempt. Even if you had that in there it would be six months, courts are reasonable about the time frame it takes to refinance a mortgage, you should be as well.

Just an FYI just because he refinances anything held jointly doesn't remove it from your credit report, everything to that point is reported. So there is no way your credit is good if he has always slow paid.

Looking at Gamma's response unless there was a time frame in the decree he has as long as it takes to comply, the court will not get involved.

Sure, file a quit claim deed, then you are no longer on the house and have no say in what happens to it. You will still be on the mortgage because they are two quite separate things! That is why your decree said the quit clam is signed after the refinance, because you would be stupid to sign over your rights to the home itself when you are still obligated to pay the debt.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from New York on

Why are you taking his word for what is going on? Tend to your own business. Go to where your deed is held and find out how to legally get your name off the deed. Then reach out to the mortgage lender and find out how to get your name removed from the mortgage which I suspect will be trickier than the deed business.

My husband after his divorce had his name removed by providing a copy of the divorce documents to the lender along with a letter explaining what the decree said.

The valuable lesson learned here is you CAN'T AFFORD to not have an attorney when going through a divorce.

You probably can't FORCE him to do anything but you can work to get your name extricated from this which has nothing to do with him. You are going to have to do the work since you can. You just need to learn more and move forward but don't depend on him for anything. He has his own problems.

Worse case scenario - as long as you continue to live credit can be repaired and fixed and blemishes on your report can be removed when you know the right words to say and things to do. Which may be what you will need to do but you will need to be diligent about it.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

Just a word to the wise....do NOT file a quit claim deed. With a quit claim you give up all rights to the property but are still liable for it. A mortgage in both your names is 'jointly and severally liable', which means if he defaults they can come after him, both of you, or just you. If you file a quit claim they can come after you even though you have no legal standing to make any decisions or reap any profits from the property. I know this because my ex gave me a quit claim in exchange for me bailing his butt out when he stopped paying on the house I gave him in our divorce. That's an option - see if he'll give you a quit claim then if he fails to make payments you can sell the house.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

What a horrible situation. If you have talked to five attorneys, and they have all told you that there is nothing you can do, then you are probably out of luck.

While your credit is still good, apply for whatever credit cards you might need, rent the apartment where you'll want to stay for a good long while, and be prepared to have your credit destroyed. You might want to go ahead and sign the quitclaim deed so that you are not responsible for the property taxes. Eventually, the bank will probably foreclose on the house. Hopefully, that will be the end of things.

So sorry you're going through this. I'm going through a messy divorce right now, and my husband is rapidly spending down our joint assets as I watch in horror. I am working through the court system to put him on a financial temporary restraining order, but that takes time and money, and I don't know exactly how much it is going to help me in the end. I have resigned myself to be at peace with the financial losses. My freedom will be worth it. Good luck to you. Your ex will probably continue to hurt you in every way he can, so pace yourself.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

If he can't refinance then it sounds like he needs to sell it.
I'd call the court house and indicate that the order set out in the divorce decree is not being followed and his actions (or inaction) is hurting you financially.
Do you think he's doing this out of spite?
Perhaps the decree could be amended to "he must sell if refinance is not possible".
I don't know if it would be worth talking to a relator about it.
Since your name is still on the mortgage you can certainly check with the bank to verify what sort of equity exists in the home - you still are an owner right up until he refinances or sells.
For that matter, could you rent it out so you have an income that will make sure the mortgage is paid until sale or refinance happens?

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think there is much, if anything you can do. You can't force him to refinance if he can't find a lender. I've never heard of a release of liability for a debt, especially a mortgage. My understanding is that the creditor can come after one or both of you for the money regardless of what the divorce decree states, as long as both names remain on the mortgage deed and finance docs.

I'm afraid you're going to have to go back to court if you want to "force" something. As you are finding out, divorce decrees need to be accurate and detailed.

You could talk to him about renting it out just long enough for him to repair his credit and take care of his income to debt ratio, but that would probably be about a year or so.

Sorry you are finding yourself in this situation. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think I'd call the court house and ask the court clerk under the judge to find out how to file that he's not following the court order. I'd be worried too in this case.

He has to do something but he may not be able to do what is ordered due to his credit. So I understand where he's coming from too.

Just like any other case where the judge says you have to do something but you later find out there's no way you can comply. It's a rock and a hard place situation.

The judge/clerk may be able to tell you how to get a hearing before the judge to order him to take your name off or do something else. This needs to be in court and before the same judge.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.T.

answers from Washington DC on

When my niece's ex-husband couldn't refinance their car for the same reasons, she was able to get a release from liability even though she was on the note. Also, when my FIL passed away he never divorced my MIL so she was responsible for his other home. She again was able to get a release from liability, the house went into foreclosure, but it did not affect her. I'm surprised a lawyer wasn't able to help. Call your local bar association to get a recommendation. If I knew more about the steps they took, I'd tell you, but it only make sense that you should have some options.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Call the Clerk's office of the appropriate court and speak to the Clerk-he will tell you how to file a pleading to get a hearing to address the issue. Good luck. Try to hold on to the house long enough to cover repayment of the note-otherwise, an entity will probably purchase the deficit (if the house sells for less than the the value/note) and you will both be responsible for the deficiency. I can understand why you are divorced.

1 mom found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

It sounds like you need to go back to court to get the decree changed. I'd go that route if I were you. You should try to get the court to clean up the wording of the decree for sure, and ask the judge to allow you to force him to sell the house. So what if there's no equity! A short sale would be better than losing the house in foreclosure. He cannot refinance the house anyway.

Meanwhile, get your own financial house in order. Sock away some money (that he doesn't know about), make sure you have at least one credit card that you pay off every month, and pay every bill that is in your own name. If he ruins your credit by not paying the mortgage, you will need that credit card because you won't be able to get another one later.

If you have children and you are the main caregiver, make sure the divorce decree says that you are the one who files them as dependents, instead of your ex. You actually want to file your taxes BEFORE he does every year so that you claim them first. (He will probably try to do it i hopes of trying to intimidate you. If you go by the IRS's rules, he should not get to claim them. But it's always good for the divorce decree to stipulate, as long as you're trying to get the decree wording cleaned up anyway...)

Don't give him ANY money whatsoever, no matter what he promises, T.. It will just go in a black hole and you'll never get it back.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Wow.
You could try posting the question to lawyers.com.

Also, I would go to the court or clerk that drew up the decree and ask them if you could get a renewed decree with specific timeline, or get the house rewarded to you, where you could sell it in a timely fashion.

Also, you should be able to contact a lawyer or a title company about drawing up a new deed without your name on it. You should also be able to contact the mortgage company to see what your options are to get your name off of their mortgage. (I think the only way is a refy or selling)

You can also contact the credit bureaus to see if there is a note that can be put in to separate the 'time' something is reflected in your report.

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