Help to Stop Smoking

Updated on March 15, 2009
J.D. asks from Brighton, MI
29 answers

I really really need some advice on how to quit smoking. I have 2 kids and quit both times I was pregnant and waited to start up until after breast- feeding. So I know I can do it but when your pregnant and you have to, or breast feeding, its not hard to quit because its not for yourself its for your baby.
Before people start yelling at me and saying how bad it is for my kids, I know, that's why I smoke Outside. So they are not around the smoke at all. I wear a certain jacket that I smoke in so when I come in I can leave the jacket outside. But I need to finally quit once and for all. For my health and for my kids. I don't ever want them to grow up and be smokers and then ba able to say "well Mommy smokes", Never. So has anyone else out there found helpful ways to quit. I tried Chantix and I think it would of maybe worked but it made me throw up. It made me feel sick all day...no good. I'm willing to try or do anything at this point. Every other part of my life is pretty healthy and this one nasty habit has to go.
Thanks in advance.
And please don't make me feel more guilty by saying all the nasty effects of smoke, I know. I do my best to keep it away from them, I know that's no excuse to continue though. I really do want to finally give this up.

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So What Happened?

First of all, there are some amazing mommys out there. Your advice and encouragement means the world. I was actually sitting in my doctors waiting room reading some of the responses (blackberry). She said that Chantix has the best results...so I'm going to give it a try again. I haven't started taking it yet but I plan to within a few days. I feel like I have to do this now since its on my mind so much lately and now I have all of your great advice and help. And to all you kind women out there who took the time to share their experiences with me...Thank You!!
I'm not sure if I can give another update on here but I'll try so I can let you know how it goes. Hopefully this will be my last time quiting. I admit that I am pretty nervous and a little bit scared to gain weight, but in the end I can get the weight off if it happens. My health is my main concern right now, and of course the health of my kids. Just by them seeing me smoke is horrible enough. I'm definitely keeping in mind that I quit for them once and can do it again. Because truthfully, its them I'm doing it for. What can I say, I'm a mom, I don't put myself first anymore :) so I'm going to be as healthy as I can be so they will always have a mommy around. Thanks again..
Sincerely,
J.

*oh and feel free to send me some extra advice or encouragement, I'll probably need it ;)

Featured Answers

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

I didn't read all the advise, so someone may have recomended the book: The Easy Way to Stop Smoking, by Alan Carr
http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Smoking-Non-Smokers/d...
My brothers both stopped with simply reading this book. Sounds crazy, but I watched one go through hypnosis, the patch, gum, you name it, for YEARS. He was a serious smoker. He read this 6 years ago and hasn't smoked since. The author has you continue to smoke while you read it and then you examine every feeling and detail so you can really understand the habit and can quit from understanding, not just willpower. I was amazed and recommend it to anyone. I also know people that have bought it on my recommendation and it sits w/o being opened. Quitting is so hard. Good luck!!!

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S.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Have you tried the patch? Worked for me. It at least takes the physical addiction away while you fight the habit part.

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A.A.

answers from Detroit on

The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr

Hi J.,
I had the same problem. I wanted to quit when I got pregnant and I was terrified. I know that I can only talk for myself, but the book by Allen Carr helped me to stop smoking. It sounds a little bit to good to be true, but it did the trick for me and it is not an expensive item to get.
At the end, I quit and then had a miscarriage, but I did not start to smoke again and got pregant again two months later.
Don't give up.

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S.G.

answers from Benton Harbor on

I also had the same problem I would smokeing again after my children were born I have four. I ask my DR. he prescriped Wellbutrin. You smoke for the first week and then slowly decrease everyday. I got to the point after about eighteen days I couldn't stand the smell. My cravings were gone.
smokefree mom

1 mom found this helpful
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D.J.

answers from Detroit on

Sorry, I don't have any advice. I just wanted to cheer you on a bit. You already know that one of the best things you can do for you and your family is to kick this habit. And just keep quiting...it's bound to stick some time, right? Go YOU!

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K.A.

answers from Detroit on

Oh I just saw your response...so I'm adding this part to my original response...the trick to Chantix is (it made me sick too) cut the pills in half. Take one half at a time and about an hour later take the other half. The nausea goes away completely. Worked for both me and my husband. Do that in the morning and at night. Or go down to half in morning and half at night only (I know someone who did that because of nausea and it worked for her) Huge difference. And again.....we are nonsmokers now.

I didn't read anyones responses but I thought I would tell you that my husband quit on January 1st and I quit 5 weeks ago. We both took the prescription Chantix. I was very nervous to take it and argued with my dr that I didn't want to take it (heard horror stories about the side effects) but she insisted and guess what....IT WORKED. We are non smokers and it was hardly much of a struggle at all because of that pill. Don't get me wrong it's will always be difficult, but this was by far the best way to do it. I have smoked for 25 years and was unable to stop on my own until now.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

First of all...good for you.

Get help from your doctor. And remember, you quit while pregnant for your kids...this is really the same. It will help ensure you are healthy and around for them for years to come.

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D.L.

answers from Detroit on

Hey J.,

Believe me, I know how hard this is for you; I was a smoker for 27 yrs.(started at 12)and I quit 7 yrs. ago~ the end of Jan. 2009, which was weeks before my 39th b-day. I really want you to think a lot about what I'm going to tell you; not because I think I'm this wise old sage who knows it all, but because I truly believe it with all of my heart. I know you are so very aware of all the terrible health hazards associated w/smoking~ now think about when you said it was easy to quit while you were pregnant, 'cause it was for the baby's sake, right? Well, that's STILL the reason why you need to quit for good, and this thought process, actually deciding in your own mind (not from being ridiculed or scolded for it)that this IS the time you will stop.... for good. Once I realized that the power to quit was WITHIN ME, it wasn't so hard. Really, I have not had one craving for it since the day I threw away my entire pack that I had only smoked two of earlier that same day. Of course, it all began before that day~ in my mind. I'd been thinking about how I needed and wanted to quit; I had also wanted to go shopping one of these days I was thinking hard about quitting. I went to Sam's Club and in the Health & Beauty isles I spotted some quit smoking patches. I thought "yes, this will be a good start". I went home and thought on it and read up on how to proceed with the patch, although I did not start them that day. The next day, in the mail, arrived a postcard advertising a smoking cessation seminar at the Holiday Inn. I thought "this must be divine intervention, just another push in the right direction". I signed up for the 1 evening seminar for a nominal fee as I thought it couldn't hurt to check it out. I still had not used my patch and went to the seminar which was a week or so after I got the "invite" in the mail. We learned a lot of the reasons why we smoke, the real triggers in our lives that cause us to want to smoke, and the lies we tell ourselves about our smoking. You know, like when you are so stressed that all you want is a couple of good drags off a cig and everything seems just a little bit better. The reason we feel a little relief is because of the deep inhalation of air, not the smoke, that delivers stress relief. Try it... it really makes sense. Anyhow, it would be too much to type to go into all the detail of that evening's lesson, but the biggest lesson I learned is that I, me, myself, knew I just had to quit for good this time(I too had quit for my baby~ before my 1st pregancy)so I could do all that was in my power to be around for all of my children~ even though 3 out of 4 of my kids were almost fully grown. No matter, I remember thinking "do I want to be around to see my kids meet their husbands and wives? How about my grandkids? The answer was still the same as it had been when I gave it up before my first pregnancy.... yes, yes, yes! I wanted to stop smelling like cig's made me smell and have my kids be proud of their mom for giving up this habit. Oh yeah, one more tidbit from the seminar... smoking is an addiction(as you know),and just a bad habit shared by many. We never really give up all bad habits, in actuality we replace them with other habits; hopefully healthy ones. The day after the seminar I was going to a bowling alley with my husband and friends; you know how smokey they are?! Well,I tried out my first (and only)patch that day before going. I thought it might be a little piece of insurance to back me up. I was fine; I had already made up my mind I wanted to be done with smoking, so I never used another patch, and never touched a cigarette again. My last thoughts are these;

This is all up to you sweetheart.... and I KNOW you can do it!

All the best (you'll be in my heart and prayers),
Deb

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

As the ad goes, "Don't quit quitting". You know you want to and the reasons and desire are half the battle.

There's the patch, there's some pill that just last week a former smoker was telling me about that she succeeded with. Talk to your doctor. You're doing it for all the right reasons. I wish you all the luck.

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K.O.

answers from Detroit on

If you have ins. talk to your doctor. There is some online stuff out there that is free. At least it used to be. Chantix is great for some people but if you have depression problems beware. My husband took it and by the end of the 2nd week he was so depressed I thought we were getting a divorce. He's now on Wellbutrin and on his way to quitting. Hang it there and stay positive. Your doing a great thing here!

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

My husband was a 2 pack smoker and I was a 3 pack smaoker a day till 8 years ago when I got pregnant with my first. He put his mind to it and quit cold turkey. I quit for the kids every pregnancy by my third prgnancy I got so sick when I even thought of smoking I just never did again. Its very Very Very Very Very Very Very Hard to quit. I feel that drug is worse than street drugs. Its addicting. But if you put your mind to it you can do it!!!!! Good luck! Remmeber your doing it for you and your kids. Stay with it and don't go back also stay away from things that make you want to smoke till you can handle it like coffee and boose.

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C.P.

answers from Detroit on

Good for you for taking this big and hard step!

My husband, father and a couple of our family members and friends all used Zyban (after my husband used it successfully first). There were no side effects (I had an Aunt and Uncle that said it made their food taste terrible to them but they were the only ones that made any side effect complaint) and it worked successfully for four of the five that tried it. Check it out!

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T.A.

answers from Grand Rapids on

J.,

I stopped smoking about 20 years ago, I had smoked for 10 years and was up to 2 packs a day. I went and got hypnotized and that worked for me when nothing else would. Good luck!

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C.J.

answers from Lansing on

J.,

I just heard a scientific article on Michigan Radio, a National Public Radio station, that explained why quitting was so difficult. Smoking is a habit that uses all of the senses of the body and those senses give your brain the stress reliever it may need at the time. You use your mouth which includes taste, and smell; you use your fingers for touch and you can feel the smoke filling your lungs and moving past your lips, your eyes see you smoking and you hear the sound of the cigarette as you take a puff. Because smoking is such a sensory experience just using nicotine patches doesn't work because you are not replacing your entire sensory habit with something else.

The scientist stated that if people really want to quit smoking they must find a way to substitute most of the sensory sensations to break the habit. Such as listening to specific music that makes you feel better no matter what your mood, chewing gum, finding a picture that makes you feel better just by seeing it, and adding something that smells good, touching something that just feels right, etc. By putting all of these together at the same time it might make it a bit easier to quit the smoking habit.

This may be why hypnotism works for some people, because the hypnotist is tricking the mind to ignore these specific sensory needs.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

-C..

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

You go girl!!! You should be so proud of yourself already. I was a smoker before kids, then I quit completly for 5 yrs, then started back up last winter (about 1 year after I stopped nursing my youngest). I smoked alittle at first, then it got more and more. I felt disgusted and guilty when my children would ask me to push them on the swings and I had to tell them to wait just alittle while (so I could finish my smoke). Or tell them not to stand too close to me while I was smoking (always only outside). I felt horrible and irratable and knew I had to quit. I tried cold turkey and failed... about 3 times. Then I tried the patch and they really worked for me. I was really tired for a week or so and not so pleasant to be around. Luckily, my husband understood why I was moody and cut me some extra slack. I also had to apoligize to my children a few times during this time for mommy's angry behavior. My son was 6 at the time that I quit and he understood that I was doing something to make myself healthier. It's been about 5 mo since I smoked and sometimes it's still hard. If we are with friends who smoke and I have a couple glasses of wine, I am tempted. I just try to remember my children and how much better I feel now. It's okay if you gain a few pounds too.. don't worry about that. Better to gain ten pounds than to have chemicals surging through your body. It finally clicked in my head, that seeing their mommy smoke was almost as bad as if I was pregnant or nursing. I did it for my kids too, just like you said. It's amazing how much our kids can help us out sometimes, huh?

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S.S.

answers from Detroit on

First of all YOU HAVE TO NOT WANT TO SMOKE! If mentally you are NOt ready it will never happen no matter what you try.

Once you have figured that out you can try Zyban or Wellbutrin they are one in the same. They work on the brain chemicals also and may cause side effects like nausea and weight gain.

I am currently taking the Chantix also and I havent been able to figure out which is worse the nausea or the vivid dreams. But I am going to stick with it by god because my baby is only 2 and with my family history of cancer i would rather live with the side effects.

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A.R.

answers from Detroit on

i smoked for 13 years and my husband and I both quit 4 yrs ago w/ wellbutrin...a prescription from our doctor...my insurance covered it and it worked great! i highly recommend it!

K.H.

answers from Detroit on

I have heard WONDERFUL things about Chantix. It's a prescription, and pretty pricey if you don't have insurance coverage for it, but it's still less than continuing smoking! I just started taking it yesterday, but have more than a few friends that it has helped to quit. Call your doctor about it. Unless you have some health problem that it might aggravate, your doctor's likely to just call it in for you. (Sam's club has the best price if your insurance doesn't cover it ;P )

Good luck!

K.

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M.D.

answers from Detroit on

Hi J., you have a lot of good responses but I felt compelled to respond too since this hits close to home for me.
I too am a smoker and mother of an 18 month old. I quit while pregnant and breastfeading but could not wait to smoke again. I absolutely hate being a smoker but the compulsion is overwhelming. I'm going to try the Chantix because I've known a lot of people that it's worked for. I also know that there are support groups online that will help. I believe that starting a new hobby or exercising and getting out of your normal "routine" helps too.
I just want to say from one mommy to another that this guilt is a terrible thing to bear. I also wear a different "smoking jacket" and only smoke in the detached garage and wash my hands probably 30 times a day.
I take heart in the fact that my mother smoked until her 5th child was born "me" and that none of us ever remember her as a smoker and we are all pretty darn healthy. In fact, I run marathons and 1/2 marathons. I"m not trying to say that smoking is okay but there are definitely worse things so please don't be so h*** o* yourself, I'm sure you are a fantastic mother.
And, as someone else stated...just "don't quit quitting". You can do this and so can I. =)

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A.S.

answers from Lansing on

I used to smoke and quite with my first pregnancy, but then started back up again. Then when I quite with my second pregnancy I knew I wanted to quite for good. What helped me was telling myself that I couldn't take even one drag off a cigarette. I know it's so easy to say I'll just have one and that's it. But once the nicotene is out of your system it's so worse to put that little bit back in. So no matter how much you're craving a cigarette just don't let yourself have even one drag off one!

I quite 6 1/2 years ago now and I tell you I could still pick the habit up if I wanted too. It's even harder if you're around others that smoke or you go out from time to time and are around it.

However, when you do stop you'll notice how bad the smell is and how sensitive you are to the smell! That's how we smelled as smokers!

But what's harder to kick is the "habit." The habit of lighting one up first thing in the morning, and right after a meal, and as soon as we get in the vehicle, and right after sex. LOL We'll get to the point that our body doesn't crave the nicotene (I think it's like 2 weeks), but the habit is what we're so used to!

Best of luck...you can do it, but it takes will power and determination.

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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I'd consult my doctor and see if they recommend anything other then the over the counter patches and gum.

Congratulations on being READY to do this. It is something that no one else can force you to do, and you have to do it for yourself. It sounds like you've got the stamina and ability to quit, as you've done it for periods in the past, so stick your nose to the grindstone and do it! You can be successful! God bless!

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J.S.

answers from Saginaw on

J.; You are on your way!! Sounds to me like you have all the right stuff going on in your head, now you just have to feel it in your heart. After smoking for over 35 years, yes 35, I was so sick of being tied to that pack, and making sure I had enough for where ever I was going so I didn't run out, where the heck I was "allowed" to smoke, etc, etc, etc. Now here is the easier part. When you mark your "day" on the calendar, do a count down not when you are quitting, but when you are making yourself free... Free to stop feeling guilty, free to save all that money burning up everyday, and free to just not be tied to anything in your life again that has that control over your everyday thoughts. I quit 2 weeks after my husband retired, ( I worked another 2 1/2 years). My reason, besides all the obvious ones? I went to the Soaring Eagle Casino in Mt. Pleasant, and was looking for a slot machine to play. Every isle I went down, I saw about 10 in a row, was a female a least over 60, with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth or in her hand, with the grouchiest look on her face, and her lips all wrinkled!!! I did not want to be one of those women. I am pleased to tell you J., it has been over 5 years now, and once the initial craving stopped, (Nicorette helps more than you know), you'll make it. I know it's easier said than done, but you have done this before, and don't need any more lectures. Good luck young lady, you can do this! Take care, J.

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H.I.

answers from Detroit on

My husband was in the same position. Maybe if you think about the negitives that will be your reason to "have" to quit. I won't bash you because it is an addiction, but here are a couple things that happened that pushed my husband into quiting. Our kids are the same age as your and one day they had crayons out. They both were pretending to smoke the crayons and it made my husband feel horrible. They also started to make him feel bad when he went to do it cuz they would have to wait for him. For example if we were getting ready to leave he would smoke before we left so that meant the kids were having to sit in the car ready to go while he did his thing. Good luck.

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A.G.

answers from Amarillo on

I don't have any advice as I never smoked but I just want to say kudos to you! It is a great thing you are trying to do for your kids and yourself. You have the right attitude you just have to find a way to succeed. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, just hoping to motivate you. My mother died of lung cancer at the age of 44, it was awful for my brother and I. Besides the fact that you don't want your kids to smoke, I'm guessing you want to be healthy in every way. You said every other part of your life is pretty healthy, you need to find something to focus on, some motivating factor and stick to it, make every part of your life healthy. I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong!!

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R.A.

answers from Detroit on

Have you thought about quitting cold turkey? The people I know that have been the most successful did it that way. I'm sure you can do it, you sound ready, you have all of the reasons to quit, so maybe just try to pick a day that you are gonna start and do it. Stay away from the places you used to smoke, like certain restaurants or bars, that might make it too hard. Any way, good luck

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

I can totally relate to your situation. I quit when I was pregnant with my two kids but ended up starting again. I felt guilty all the time. And like you I knew I could quit, but it is such a hard thing to do. I ended up just stopping in January...what keeps me going is the thought of getting sick and leaving my kids without a mother. But in the past I did use Zyban and it helped. The hardest part about quitting isn't the actual quitting...it's not starting again. There are times I want a cigarette so bad, but I just take a deep breathe and think again of how awful it is and how expensive it is. Just remember there is never "Just one cigarette won't hurt"

Oh and I did read the book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" by Allen Carr it helped a lot!

K.K.

answers from Detroit on

Have you considered hypnosis? I know it sounds hokey and there are a lot of prejudices against it, but really it's just a guided state of relaxation. The therapist encourages you to relax and focus inward, and the power of suggestion while you're in that state is remarkable. You're always in control - the therapist can't make you do something you don't want to do. And like everything else, it works better for some than for others. I went for my first session a few weeks ago to help with my allergies and I've seen a marked improvement.

I'm sure there are hypnotherapists that are more reputable than others. My family physician is one and that's where I went. www.schindlermd.com.

It won't "make" you quit, but it will be a very helpful tool along with the Chantix and pure willpower!

Good luck!

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D.D.

answers from Detroit on

J., I was lucky and was able to quit permanently once I got pregnant. I am giving you a link to a hypnotherapist who I know on a personal and professional level - if you are ready to quit then he can help http://www.duncanhypnotherapy.com/index.htm.

Good luck - it's not an easy step but you have the right motivation.

Drew

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D.P.

answers from Detroit on

Way to go! You go girl! Hurray! (Just thought you'd like some encouragement.) I don't know that my way can help at all. I ended up quitting cold turkey about 14 years ago. I had tried patches and gum. Nothing worked. I did have to avoid some friends and places until I was secure in my non-smoking habit. I hope you find the plan that works for you! It really is worth the effort!

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