Help Potty Training and Public Restrooms

Updated on January 10, 2010
B.K. asks from West Bloomfield, MI
23 answers

Help! I'm terrified of germs and my son has been doing really great at potty training. When we are out in public I always put on pull ups for him, but he cries b/c he wants to use the bathroom. He will not pee in his pull ups and will not use the public restroom b/c he thinks he will fall in. He is used to his little potty at home. He is only 28 months old and does not know how to pee standing up yet. Has anyone else had this problem and what should iIdo?

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So What Happened?

Thanks everone for ur helpful advice. I'm going to look into buying a portable potty...what a great idea! And I will always hate public restrooms, but I dont want my baby to have my same fears. Thanks for all the encouragment and all the moms that are potty training...GOOD LUCK!!!

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

I bought one of those portable potty seats and carried it in my diaper bag with my first child (the kind that sits on top of a regular toilet). I have also seen people carry their child's potty with them everywhere they go.

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K.W.

answers from Detroit on

I use to carry around a fold up plastic potty seat for my daughter I would put it in a ziploc bag and take it everywhere with me That way they are not touching the seat and it is just there size Here is an example of one http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2304657

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

I despise public bathrooms. It seems that everyone without a care for bathroom hygiene goes to Wal-Mart or Target and pees all over the seat.....or WORSE!

I bought a product called Potty Toppers from www.onestepahead.com It is a paper cover with adhesive strips on the back that keep it from slipping off the toilet. They also hang down over the side of the toilet a bit so that if they choose to hold on to the seat they won't actually come in contact with it. They come in a pack of ten and you just throw them away after ward.

I know people say not to worry about germs but bathrooms are truly gross. My daughter sat on the potty at a coffee shop once and narrowly escaped getting blood on her pants and panties from the outside of the toilet!!!! When we have to navigate blood, urine and feces from people who don't clean up after themselves it pays to worry about germs a little!

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K.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I did the same thing and boughta prtable potty seat the folds up ..I was able to pick it up at meijers and it wasn't expensive. We go to a lot of events with our kids that have the portable bathrooms so that was a huge issue with my kids and the fear of falling in. I also carry those Handi Wipes with me to wipe off the seat before they sit on it. Good luck and I don't think there is a parent that hasn't dealt with this problem...

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J.W.

answers from Detroit on

I am not sure if someone mentionsed it already (I haven't read other responses) but I have seen portable, fold up seats that fit over the big seat. My son used one to fit over our seat due to space issues, but I never neededone in public.

i am sure I have seen them at Babies r us, and maybe Target, too.

Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Detroit on

Just something you might not have thought of - those portable potty seats will pick up the same germs from the toilet that you are worried about and then the portable seat will have germs on them.

I hate public restrooms and germs too, but my daughter has to be able to use a public restroom when she gets older. I just wipe down the seat with toilet paper (and a wipe sometimes). Then I make sure she doesn't touch her face, etc. until we wash her hands really well.

Germs are everyhwere. You know I've heard reports that most water fountains have more germs on them than in the inside of a toilet.

I hate germs too. Really. But soap and water do the trick.

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

This may sound a little goofey, but, have you thought of a portable potty seat? I have had a couple friends tell me that, when they were potty training their kids, they would put a potty seat in the diaper bag, inside of a bag of its own, and clip it on the toilets in the public restroom, then, just go home and disinfect it. My son is 19 months old and not really ready for training yet, but, I am trying to get everything I need together and plan to start at least trying with him after he turns two. This is what has been suggested to me. Just a thought.

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A.V.

answers from Detroit on

I didn't have time to read through all your advice but I take my sons pants and underwear (or pull up) all the way off and put him backwards on the potty. I let him hold on to the seat but he doesn't have to you can have him hold on to you. This way he feels MUCH safer and doesn't feel like he is going to fall in. When he gets bigger he will just stand up so he will be facing the same way. Anyway hope someones ideas help.

P.S. I think it is GREAT that he doesn't want to pee in his pull up -- DON'T mess that up if you can. I have a 5 1/2 year old that still will pee in a pull up if he has one on. (he has a medical cond. that we are working on).

GOD bless.

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P.L.

answers from Detroit on

i bought a portable potty seat that fits over public toilets and folds up to store in a plastic bag. Graco sold it, and I think I bought it at Babies r us. I also taught my boys (I have 3, 2 are potty trained) to pee standing up, I think my second one did it right away because big brother was doing it. In public restrooms, it was awesome, because you could have them stand on top of your feet and they can reach the regular toilets. Hope this helps!

P.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

I am a huge germ-a-phobe! LOL~

However, in the restrooms, I make sure my son doesn't touch a thing. I also held him up by the potty or lined it with TP if there were no liners available. (Are you teaching your son to stand and pee yet? Get a sturdy stool as this can be very helpful... until you do this, assure him you will not drop him in.)

If you make a big deal out of it - it will pass on to your son as he will not want to use the restrooms in school. That will cause more issues for you later.

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A.K.

answers from Detroit on

Hi B.,
I know it is hard, but try no to worry about the germs too much. Bathrooms can be really gross and we innately believe that they are the dirtiest things around. However, there are many other places that carry more dangerous germs (I studied microbiology in university and wash shocked to learn stuff like this)-like daycare and shopping cart covers. Take normal precautions such as hand-washing. For your son's comfort, a portable toilet seat would probably be nice and make him more comfortable. Good luck with potty training- you're doing a great job!

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M.A.

answers from Detroit on

HI B.,
Please try to relax- you say you are 'terrified of germs' and your child will pick up on this and become germophobic also. In reality, only 3% of germs are harmful, the other 97% are helpful germs that we need to live! Can you put paper down on the seat and hold onto your child so he can sit down and urinate? I also think there are little folding potty seats that you can carry in the diaper bag, that fit onto a toilet seat. And please, try to avoid using anti-bacterial handsoaps and other things- they do not clean your hands any better than plain soap and water- this is scientific fact! The triclosan chemical and fragrances are harming your child more than the germs you think you are killing. Artificial fragrances in all of the these fruity scented products are blocking human testosterone-really! If you are interested, I can give you a lot of information about having a green, healthy home. Take care, M.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

Millions of us moms put our toddlers on public toilets and wash their hands afterward. I don't know of any kid who's died from this yet. Probably worse germs on the toys they grab as you shop.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

at babies r us they have a foldable potty seat taht you put on public toilets.. so your son wont be afraid of falling in..
they ahve a better seat at rightstart store..

just have him wash his hand swhen he is done..

my daughter was trained at about this age... and we went potty before we left home and we hardly ever had to use a public rest room.. you should not plan to be out for long
periods of time when you have newly potty trained child...

I probably should mention that because we never use public bathrooms when my daughter started preschool she would not poop htere. it took several months for her to be able to poop at school and she is there all day... It is not that I hate public bathrooms... but I just try to go before we leave home and we dont have to go when we are out... just easier that way.

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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I used to take the little potty along with us in the car. (we have as station wagon, but a normal trunk could work too). When she had to go potty we went to the car and she used it there. She did really well and one day decided that she wanted to use the normal potty. She went back and forth for a while, but was able to use the restrooms in public places. Sometimes we just have to make 2 trips before she's willing to go, but its no longer an issue.

As for the pull-ups. Toss them, he's ready to be a big boy, don't complicate it for him. Serious problems can occur for children who are put back into diapers once they're using the potty, these problems can last into adulthood.

As for the germ issue - get a pack of Clorox wipes to clean off the seat first. And use the handicap bathroom, there is a bar he can hold onto to keep from falling into the potty - this is our strategy and it works well. As far as not standing up to pee, it would be hard for him being so small to pee into a normal potty, so sitting is a good option for public restrooms.

Good luck, he'll master this. Don't get frustrated as he goes through this phase, just keep encouraging him and being positive. Bring an extra set of clothes if he has an accident, but he's probably capable of staying dry if he's refusing to pee in a pull-up. Tell yourself that it will take time and be ready to make several trips to the potty when he needs to go, and don't get mad if he is too scared, just keep going back over and over and he'll finally do it. Don't make him sit there for a long time, just get on and try and if he says he can't, say OK and leave. Keep the atmosphere light and upbeat and he won't be stressed with the conflict of pleasing you and overcoming his fears.

One last thing. Try getting him to use the big potty at home. Once he learns this then going out is much easier.

Best wishes, you'll get through this! :)

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V.H.

answers from Detroit on

Get him to practice sitting on your toilet at home to reassure him he won't fall in. Model you sitting on it so he can see that it's safe and let him flush so he gets used to the noise - some flushes are really loud for little kids. If all else fails and he is desperate for a pee when you are out you can always sit on the loo fully clothed and get him to sit on your lap and go by aiming between your legs! Personally I would rather he sit on the seat himself rather than risk being peed on but if it works.....

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M.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

You might want to go to Babies R Us...and invest in a portable little potty. My daughter-in-law has one and we take it everywhere. Noone cares...he gets to sit on his pot in the restroom...we wash it out and no big deal. It is one of the new "diaper free training" models...so it's small enough. Kind of wish they had something like that when my guys were little. Good luck.

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D.R.

answers from Detroit on

Hi B.,

I bought a folding potty seat for my kids...it fits directly onto the toilet seat, but is smaller so tiny butts can't fall in! It folds up and fits easily into a medium-sized purse. Below is the link to the one I found one BabiesRUs.com. This one is padded and looks more comfy than the one I got! Honestly, I can't remember where I got mine, I think it might have been from OneStepAhead.com. Anyway, here is a picture so you can get an idea. Good luck!

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3518178

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M.M.

answers from Lansing on

when my son was this age I would just put his potty seat that fits on the toilet in a bag and put in the bottom of the stroller and we were good to go and he had the security of home.

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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

they have the smaller seats that fit in/on the regular seat so their little bottom is on somthing instead of hanging in the air, they fit into a diaper bag, some of the potty chairs even have the remevable top for transitioning them to the big potty, if you don't want to spend any money they start putting him on the big toilet at home and hold him while assuring him he isn't gooing to fall in, or set him backwards (I know it is a pain to take his pants off especially when out) because their legs are more spread out they feel more secure and they can hold on to the pipes (if they are exposed) for added security, or you could start transitioning him to stand (watching daddy a few times should help just be ready for very bad aim some people use cheerios for target practice).......hope one of these ideas works for you

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A.T.

answers from Detroit on

Hi--
I could be way off, but it sounds to me like if you don't like public restrooms then it is likely your son has picked up on this and is scared of public toilet because he knows you don't like them.... maybe you could try to change your approach and talk really positively about them to him (even though you really don't like them!)
One other thought-- you could try out the technique you plan to use at the public bathroom (holding your child, or a travel seat) at home so it is in a comfortable place first.....
my daughter now thinks that it is fun for me to hold her on the big seat and now requests I do it at home sometimes (not always convenient, but I am glad she thinks it is fun)

good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Detroit on

It is cumbersome but the little seats that go on top of the toilet can be carried in a large shopping type bag. I also think there are throw away seat covers for this purpose as well. Bring some sanitary wipes; wash hands and then use the sanitizer afterwards. Do not eliminate the use of public bathrooms. You are liable to cause a back slide. Just use precautions

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E.S.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I have a travel potty seat I take with me for my daughter. that way she can sit on the toilets in any bathroom. It doesn't cost a lot, I think I paid $15 or so for it, it might even have been less, and it comes with bags with essentially pee pads in them so you can take the potty on long trips and if you have to stop they can just use this potty anywhere. I love it, the sides fold up for normal toilets or they can "stand" to make a stand alone potty, and they fold completely in for travel. I love it, I keep it in her diaperbag all the time, as she has an actual potty seat at our house.

I really believe this is one of the best investments I've made. I hope everything works out for you.

E. S.

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