Help on How I Can Get My Toddler up Early Enough to Get to Nursery School?!

Children don't like to have their schedules messed with. Some people have this idea that they are just not morning people or visa versa, but really anyone can learn to live on any schedule, but with children it takes a lot of work and a couple of nights of real drama from the child.
Generally my kids have all liked to stay up with mommy and daddy and I have never agreed with the let them cry until they fall asleep people. I like a little bit of both worlds. I let my kids stay up almost as late as I do (because I don't stay up late, I have to get up early because my husband goes to work very early and I like to spend some time with him in the morning). I would recommend that you put her to bed early, let her cry, let her fight, just tell her it is time to sleep. Come in and sit with her or sing to her, but make her stay in bed. Then start waking her up a little earlier. Move her bed time earlier and her wake up earlier every couple of days until it is where you need it. Eventually she will choose to get the sleep that she needs. I hope that helps. Good luck.

I agree with slowly changing her bedtime by 15 minutes until you reach 730/8. Also, let her nap but start it around 1 and don't let her sleep past 3. A great book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I highly recommend it. I have almost 3 year old twins and 10 month old. I have had great success with that book.

Changing a child's sleep pattern is a process. You need to start putting her to bed 10-15 minutes earlier each night and then wake her up earlier each day. Same thing with the naps. She will probably be tired for the first couple of weeks but eventually she will get there.

I so feel your pain. My husband works in film, so on good days he doesn't get home until 8:30 or 9 at night. I don't even want to talk about the bad days. With our first daughter, we kept her up until Daddy came home. Then preschool came and we thought we were going to die! She was tired all the time, she still wanted to stay up to see Daddy, and we all felt hung over the next day, for days and weeks and months on end. She missed a lot of the morning activities at preschool because we couldn't seem to get her there before 10:30. Last year she started kindergarten - her preschool teachers warned her new school that we were almost always late - and we knew we had to change things. We moved her bedtime back 15 minutes every couple of days, waking her up 15 minutes earlier in the morning, until we got her to a more reasonable bedtime. And we stick with it on weekends, holidays, and vacations. Sticking with the schedule has made all the difference in the world. Draw up your dream schedule, and ease into it over a period of weeks. Hopefully once kindergarten starts, this will all be sorted out. Good luck!

Kids actually adjust very well if you stick to the same routine everyday, even on the weekends. Start with a plan, write it down and then stick to it like glue. The first thing you need to do is get her up in the morning and put her in the bath or shower with you. Don't let her sit and watch a morning TV show, at least not right away. She needs to wake up her little body. Forget the milk, give her apple juice instead. Taking her out for a morning walk is a great idea, but not in the stroller. Make her walk with you. It doesn't have to be a power walk, even if you only make it four houses down, the fresh air will do her good. Have some breakfast and then take her to school. On Tuesdays and Thursdays take her to the park or some other activity that will wear her out. Go home, have a filling lunch then get ready for a nap.

The next step is adjusting her nap time. Her nap needs to be over by 3pm. That means she needs to go down by 1 or 2, then you need to wake her up by 3. After her nap is when I'd go run errands, etc. While you prepare dinner she can watch TV and mellow out. Serve dinner and then take her outside for more playtime. Try to have her out for at least 20 minutes. Even is she is crabby, no more TV after 6pm. Because she's so used to being up late, I'd aim for a 9pm bed time, gradually moving it up to 8.

Yes, Mom, this means that you also need to get to bed earlier. Put yourself to bed by 11pm.

Baby is crying, got to run....
~N.

Just wake her up, take her clothes off and sit her in a chair for breakfast. if she keeps getting up at 7 she will take a nap at 1-3 and bed at 8. just do it. No, it wont be easy. I would probably be insane if my kids kept my hours. By the way, why does she need to watch TV?

You have gotten a lot of good advice, I wanted to add one tip that has worked well for our family who also finds our natural rhythm, at the times we don't have to wake up, to very easily and quickly go back to a 10 a.m. up 10 p.m. asleep pattern. My kids, 10 and 6, would rather sleep in or have a quiet morning and do something in the late afternoon and evening. This is fine for me, as it is my natural rhythm too. All Summer we return to this nice pattern during Camp Mom and we are setting our own schedule. Now that we have to return to a school schedule we have been training ourselves by going to bed a little earlier each day and reminding our bodies what we have to do. It's still not easy, because it does not feel natural but we do it.

So my addition to this advice is Hylands Homeopathic Chamomilla Tablets and/or the Calms Forte for Kids Tablets (both made with Chamomile a flower known to help get people to relax). They are doctor approved, natural remedies that can be bought at any health food store, I've gotten them at Whole Foods and even found them at a Target once. They help take the edge off and helps my kids relax just enough to allow them not to fight the sleep and helps them fall asleep. We also use them when my kids get really upset and can't get themselves calmed down. You take the dose as appropriate (usually 2-3 pills) and tap them from the bottle into the cap and then toss them into the child's mouth under their tongue. They dissolve immediately with the moisture in the mouth so no water is needed and under the tongue gets into the system the fastest. I take them too when needed and they are made in a small sugar and lactose base so it tastes sweet for the moment as it is dissolving. You are not supposed to touch the pills with your hands as the oils on your fingers changes the chemistry. We only use them when they are struggling with falling asleep and we deem it necessary and the kids really appreciate the extra help in relaxing. We also use a cup of Chamomile Tea or a Cup of Warm Milk before bed time. These are things our Grandmas used to do because there was wisdom in them.

Good luck, know you are not alone, and keep trying new things until you find what works for you and your family.

J. V
Your daughter sounds like mine, and you sound like me. My daughter won't go to sleep til I do, whatever that time is, so this Fall (started this week, I decided to change my own schedule, so she'll go to bed earlier. o, we got down to 9 pm (which is extremely hard for me,I'm a night owl) but i had to commit to something for her sake. (I'm aiming for 8:30 pm). We're getting to school late every time - and her school starts at 8:30 am. She's 3, attends school 3 times/wk, and now i wake her up between 7 and 7:30 am. What i did was i started going down every week a 1/2 hour, but it's not really a science, i'm not very good at a strict schedule, I confess. She naps about an hour a day, if I think she needs it, i let her sleep another hour. At night we go to her bed together, read a couple of books, turn out the lights, and i stay w/ her til she falls asleep - truth is, i benefited from getting a little extra sleep myself as sometimes i cannot get up!
Now my friend on the same boat as ours,found a school that starts at 12 pm! Lucky her!
One more thing: on nights that my daughter is absolutely wired, 1 mg of melatonin is helpful, and yes, i checked w/ her doctor! (I use GNC Melatonin 1, cherry flavor) - and I take 5 mg for myself! (take it 20 min before bedtime, it helps relax)
Sounds like she really enjoys spending time with mommy, and there's nothing to be guilty about that!
Good luck!
TW

Dear J.,

Naps during the day time for her should start at noon or one o'clock and END before Three. That staying in bed until 5 or 6 is interfering with her afternoon and evening play and dinner time.

NO going to bed after 8:30. Get a baby sitter when you need to be in rehearsal late.

Get yourself up at 6:00 a.m. - looking neat and clean so that you can just walk out the door when she is ready to be taken to school. As soon as you are ready....then go into her room open the curtains start talking sweetly and take the covers off of her, turn on the light turn on music, Take her into the bathroom and start the day....bath should have been last evening, so now is for getting cleaned up in order to face the world with a good feeling about herself.
Fresh clothes out from last night, put them on her if she doesn't cooperate. No complaining on your part. Continue saying something like we are getting ready for school.

Take her to the kitchen, light breakfast, DON'T ask what she wants for breakfast, you should know what she would likely eat. If she only takes a few bites, that means that her early morning routine has begun to take hold. If she is crying, never mind. If she is stomping, ignore and walk out of the room.

Take her out of the house at least 30 minutes before the school bell rings. Making sure that you can get there at LEAST 10 minutes before the bell. Take her into her class. Keep yourself calm. No complaining from Mom. ....because, you know, you have allowed her to sleep at wrong hours for normal living ....you can help her make a better habit, and enjoy school LOTS MORE! than just staying home. No kidding, it will be o.k. after 2 or 3 weeks, IF you are consistent, persistent and do not give in one SINGLE TIME.. and don't make a big deal out of trying to talk her into doing it. YOU make her do it. Take her means you may have to pick her up. Your strength will impress her, yes, it will.

Amen, and good luck, you can do it.
C. N.

My niece did the same thing that you did with her child, and she had to go through this very same situation. She did, they did, and now the child just got a huge grant from a wonderful university for her freshman year in college. Umhum, she did. ...and this child was just as difficult as your child is.

Don't spend anytime being mad at me for being so bossy. You did it, not me.

When is her birthday? I'm just wondering if you'll have the choice to start her in Kinder later so maybe you can start Preschool next fall instead after you've had time to make changes. And instead of Preschool, keep her busy in Mommy & Me type classes and other educational and physical activities.

I agree that changing her schedule is a process that will take time and to make bedtime only 10-15 minutes earlier at a time (each change a few days to a week later) so that it's not a drastic change all at once. Kids, especially toddlers do better when they know what to expect so if the new bedtime is not too much different, it will be an easier transition. Also, the more exercise she gets the more tired she'll be. I'm not sure you should force her to give up the nap if she needs it, but maybe start by slowly moving her naptime earlier and earlier and using morning exercise to get there... enroll her in morning Gymnastics or go to the park or whatever you two like. It's too bad afternoon preschool isn't an option, that's what we do because none of us move to fast in the morning. You might also want to talk to your Pediatrician, sometimes they have good suggestions for common problems like this. And I'm sure there are lots of books out there on the subject. And it's so important you have time with the hubby. We always make our mistakes with the first kid... my almost 5 year old still has sleep issues while my second child, 18 months has slept in her crib on her own since 8 weeks. Hang in there - these methods will work and it's too bad school starts so soon because it will take some time for the adjustment but just keep at it and slowly change the routine.

You might want to start the whole nighttime routine at dinner time - feed her dinner earlier and earlier each night and that way each step is also earlier (bath, reading, etc.). You can also have her get PJs on and get into bed telling her she doesn't have to fall asleep if she's not tired, but she can look at books or play in bed, or maybe rest on couch with a movie (quiet, relaxation time, dim lighting). And for cooperating with the changes, maybe start a sticker chart and after so many stickers earned for being a BIG girl, she can get a prize at the dollar store (or whatever). Time and a little incentive will go a long way. Best of luck. You're a good mom. :)

Ok here is what worked with my son. Tv off an hour before bed time, we brush teeth, read stories, play board games and come bed time it's time. No excuses. One drink and off to bed. I can honestly say that after a month of this he isn't fighting it anymore and is happily off to bed. (or not so happily now that bed is in his own room)

The trick was to be kind and firm about it. We laid out the new rules, and started it at his usual bed time, each night we sneakily moved bed time up by 15 min. After a week we were at what I figured to be his target bed time. He now crashes about 9-930 at night and is up by 630 or 7 on his own each morning. The big thing is he is more rested then when I let him go to bed at 11 and get up at 9. He is less cranky and just generally happier and easy to get along with.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions on how we did it.

OMG! You were me a year ago. Except my daughter was on my schedule. She woke up around 11am and didn't go to sleep until 1 am. AND stop napping at 18 months! This was due to the fact that I never wanted to wake up early, so I trained her to my schedule, which became hers until she started school. Kids need a schedule, and a schedule is a schedule no matter if it is 11am to 1am or 7:30 am to 8:30pm. So do not feel bad that she conformed to you as opposed to you conforming to what society would feel as apporpriate bed times.

OK, so I feel for you because when my daughter started school a year ago she went in full time from 8:30am to 2:30pm everyday. I know you are recieving this after you needed, but friday is really just to get the kids a taste of what they are going to do. So my suggestion is to wake up 1 hour (or an hour and a half if you think she needs more time to wake up) before you need to leave for school. Do all of the normal wake up rituals. watching a show, eating b-fast, getting dressed, etc. then take her to school. When you pick her up go to a park/play ground and bring a book and let her play for hours. Kids will usually choose to play over taking a nap hands down. Go out to eat. Mc D's (I know unhealthy) or a diner with healthier selections. If you take her home for dinner she may become relaxed and want to go down for a nap. Then around 7:30ish start the bed time rituals. Then put her to sleep. Continue this even on her days off and in about a week she will have it down. [Treat it like jet lag. Every time we go to France, via a redeye, she is up with the birds even though they are 9 hours ahead of us. I am sacked out sleeping and she is making breakfast with her grandparents even though she had only 4 hours of sleep!!!]

Good Luck

J.,

The best advice I've seen is when you want to drastically change a bedtime, do it in 15 minute increments. Put her down 15 minutes earlier. Do that for a few days and then put her down 15 minutes earlier, etc... Do that until you've got her going to bed at an hour that works for you. It takes a while but lacks the drama that goes with trying to make a 3 hour shift in bedtime in one day. If you need to go faster, do it in 20 minute blocks.

:-)T.

I would take her to the park in the mornings (right after breakfast) so she could really play and tire herself out... THEN immediately after lunch... get her down for a nap. A 3-4pm nap is a huge part of the problem... it's too damn late. That late nap needs to end.

Or encourage her to miss it.... so she is tired by 7:30 (perfect sleep time) and will go down then.

Now whether she stays down the night will be the issue....

Good luck...

We go through this every time the kids are out of school for a winter/spring break or summer vacation. Actually we're still in the process of getting them all back into the school routine. My oldest and my three year daughters were required to move into the same room this summer so our infant could have her own room, and this is where all the sleeping problems started. My 3 year old didn't understand why she had to go to bed at 8 when our 8 year old got to stay up late. She fought it tooth and nail and eventually because it was summer we relented and let her stay up later and we're paying for it now. Even our 7 and 8 year olds are having trouble getting to bed at a decent hour and waking up at 7 for school. The key is to your daughter up when you need her to get up. She will be cranky for the first few days but I guarantee she will be tired at bed time and will be able to fall asleep earlier. I know this sounds harsh and no Mom wants to "torture' their baby but it will be more torturous for her once she really starts school if you don't establish a bedtime/morning routine that is condusive to the school schedule.

Make it fun by taking her shopping for her very own alarm clock and let her pick it out. Kids love to feel grown up and do things on their own. Set up a nighttime routine that includes a story and setting her alarm clock and maybe she'll even look forward to waking up to see her new clock. Also you might try moving her bedtime up each night or if she's too smart for that one (like my 3 year old) try moving it up and then making it the same for a whole week. So if she's been going to bed at 11:00 then try 10:30 for a week and then 10:00 the next week etc. until she is going to bed at the time that will allow her to get enough sleep for the next day. But with this remember you will have to wake her up earlier, sleeping until 9 am will just put those nap times too late in the day therefore allowing her to have enough energy to stay up with the night owls. lol! (I'm a total night person myself so I can relate)

Once she gets the bed time and the waking time in hand the nap times will just fall into place on their own. It's also possible that her pre-school will have a set nap time that she'll adjust to. That happened with my toddler.

I know it's hard and she'll resist all kids / people resist change but it really will help her in the long run with societies rules.

Good Luck :)

If I go to bed at midnight, I feel hungover the next day. She absolutely needs to be in bed earlier if she needs to get up earlier. It may take a few weeks, even a month but if you are consistent, it can be done. Really, it has to be done. Good habits start young. I have friends whose kids have stayed up late since they were young, they are 8/9 now and do not go to bed before 11pm. No more late naps, I'd have her nap at noonish at the latest. Then have a predictable afternoon, dinner at the same time 5ish, play for a bit, bath, story and bed. It will be hard for her but so much better in the long run. Then make sure when she is in kindergarten, if it isn't all day that YOU PICK AM!!!! Otherwise, you'll fall back in to your routine, then have to start all over once she is in first grade.

Best wishes!
M.

You've already gotten some great advice! My son has a little bit of a funky schedule too. He wakes at 8am, naps from 3-6 and goes to bed at 8:30. One suggestion would be to cut the nap and get her to bed earlier. Another thing you could try is to move up her schedule by 15 minutes, wait a few days and then move up a few more minutes.

We also have a time change coming up that could help you out!

Preschool is usually a very good thing for a 3 1/2 year old. However, if she is not well-rested, there is no point in her going. Maybe find another social activity for her that fits more to your schedule. Next year this time, she will be facing kindergarten. You should get her signed up early (like now) so that you can choose the afternoon session.

Hi J.,

At 3 1/2 I had to cut out all naps. If my son took any naps he wouldn't go to sleep. I start bedtime at 8:00 and got him to sleep by around 9:00. You may have to do this and let your daughter be crabby until she gets on the schedule. We do bathtime at 8 to calm down and read a book and turn out the lights by 9:00. If your daughter is still awake, tell her she has to stay in bed and eventually she will fall asleep. This will give you your alone time with your husband. (My husband complained because I was stretching bedtime past 9)

It is definitely in your best interest to get her on this schedule now. When she starts Pre-K next year, you don't want her to miss any classes (and they will be 5 days a week). Kindergarten starts at 8:00 Am at the LA public schools so you'll have to adjust again to be up before 7.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

You've gotten some good advice -- basically you need to change her schedule. This is totally possible! I like the idea of thinking of it as jet lag. You can push it as fast or as slow as you are comfortable with, but the thing to remember is to STICK TO IT!! You will be tempted to let her (and you) sleep in on days off or weekends. Don't do it!! (Can you tell I've been there?). As much as it sucks to get up early on a Saturday, you'll be much happier on Monday if you do it.
Rather than cutting out her naps, you might try to cut them down to an hour or so. Ask at her school what time they nap and for how long. Even if she doesn't nap at home, you can have quiet time during the same time.

hi there,
I had the same concerns when I daughter started pre-school... we were on a terrible schedule. We started practicing to go to bed early and get on early about 2 weeks before school started then a week before school started we did a couple practice runs.. we got her up, got her dressed and drove her to the school grounds the same time we would neeed to do it when school actually starts... My family thought I was crazy but it worked. we got some good practice and managed to iron out some kinks before school really started. In regards to getting her down at a decent time... all lights went out in my house at 8pm and no later.. we couldn't even see our own hands..Everyone went to bed, and that included me and my husband.. after doing this for a few days she finally got the picture and started falling asleep right after teh lights went out. of course once she fell asleep hubby and I would get back up and finish out regular routine. Now she's in 3rd grade and goes to bed at 830pm, in her own room with the nights out and no babysitting... it takes work and commitment but it works...

Don't feel bad.. the most important thing is consistency. It's like going on a trip and having jet lag... think of it that way. Like other moms have said you can't really go cold turkey and make her go to sleep 4 hours earlier all of a sudden. The first thing is to make her nap MUCH earlier.. it should be around 1.. and then just move her bedtime routine earlier and earlier every night, abbout 1/2 per night. The days she doesn't have school do the same thing with her and dont' let her sleep in and nap at the same time. Hope that helps!

maybe you should only wake her up at 8 or 8:30 am, eat a waffle in the car and she'll just start getting used to it eventually. I think that waking up early will make her sleep earlier but it may take a couple of weeks for her to get used to the new schedule. Habits are hard to break. Also, my daughter has allergies and when they're really bad I give her ped. benadryl-and it makes her sleepy. There are no side effects, and the doctor recommends it. You should ask your doctor, but I know of some parents who give it to kids during a long airplane ride to get them to sleep.

Good luck.
S.

I find making the change slowly, helps their body clocks to adjust easier. Try putting her down 10 - 15 minutes earlier each night. Yes, she may fight you on it, but you have to be consistent. We've had to do the same with our twins who started kindergarten this year -- the first week they were very crabby, but we have altered our whole evening schedule by an hour (dinner at 6 instead of 7 etc.) It's not easy, but now that they are used to it, they are alot happier.

Sorry, no magic, just persistence!! You will just need to work on starting your bedtime routine 15 or 20 minutes earlier each day and work your way into it. Yes, it is hard. My little one used to go to bed at 10 or 11, until she started preschool. You will also want to keep the routine even on those "show times" and get a babysitter for her instead of bringing her with you. It is just soooooo much easier if you keep a consistent bedtime for her and she will be happier and get more out of school. She will establish her own natural rhythm, so it will take a few weeks (or months) for her to figure out a new nap schedule or she may just give it up entirely. Good luck.

Wow! You NEED to get her on a "normal" toddler schedule. I would start by just waking her up early and try to eliminate the late nap. You will probably have a cranky toddler for a few weeks, but you need to do it. After a week or so of being tired and cranky, she will probably start adjusting to an earlier bed time. OR you could start by putting her to bed a 1/2 hour earlier each night and eliminating the nap. Even if she doesn't go to sleep right away, put her in bed to get used to the idea. Midnight is too late for me on a regular basis and is not good for her.

with time.

with repetition.

with patience. Did I mention perserverance? that too. add humor and grace and more patience to that. . . the magic is in the payoff if you can get through the process, I think!

If she's waking up earlier every day, and if she goes to bed earlier, with a book or you rubbing her back or whatever your magic is, she will in time adjust.
or at least I am almost certain she will, and I hope for you all that she does. What duration of time is uncertain, but since she needs to get up earlier, she will need to sleep. The cranky part won't be fun but should not be for too long.
I love the idea of walking her through the neighborhood to wake with the sun - that might be a gentle entree to the earlier waking part. And maybe make a game of preparing snack and clothes for the next morning before the new, earlier bedtime (another game about racing to go to sleep?).

Ours has never slept well(2 hours at a stretch for the first 18 months, and 12-15 minute naps during the day) - until now, at the start of her 4th year. She has asked to go to bed before 9 for about two weeks now. 9:30 was standard for our blended Argentine/american family - and later was often from 8 months old. I think she must be growing!

much luck to you - & hang in there

You said you are a stay at home mom.... so why send her to nursery school? Your schedule is not conducive to it, and you don't need day care... if you are doing it for the interaction with other kids, join an afternoon playgroup or go to the park a few afternoons a week. My youngest, who joined the family long after the older ones, also had a late schedule. It worked for our family. In order to adjust to the kindergarten schedule when that time came, we chose the later class, which started at 10:00 am. The next year, in 1st grade when school started at 8:00, it was much easier to make the transition. He did not suffer from not going to preschool. Just the opposite, he benefitted from the extra time spent at home with mom. He is now in 3rd grade, and is much better behaved than most of the kids who went to preschool. The earlier you send them to school, the earlier they pick up bad habits and behaviors from other kids. You only have a few more years before your daughter has to go to school. Enjoy them! Enjoy the schedule that works for your family while you can.

Hi J.,
You're to funny!!! My girls are 7 and 4 1/2 and have ALWAYS been late to bed and 8:30 or so to rise. Our schedule worked the same way, we went to bed late because of work or dinner out with family or staying at Grandma's to long, etc, etc,. The only thing, and it has been hard for me, but it has worked, is to keep them busy during the day, and have the same or somewhat the same routine at night naps or no naps. When my 7 year old started kindergarten, we set her bedtime at 9:30, but it was almost always 10pm by the time it was said and done, and she wanted to sleep with us. As with you, my husband and I had no time together either, so he set a 9 pm routine in progress. They fight us a little, but after a couple of days of waking up at 6:30 am, at 9pm, they fall asleep within 5 minutes. It's hard work, and I am sorry that I don't have any miracle cures to send your way~~it really does get easier though. Good luck~~Christi

my ideas is to keep her busy all day today, take her to the play ground let her run around, skip her nap, give her a bath and put her to bed at a reasonable time, like 8 or 9. Do this for about 2 or 3 days and that should put her on a school schedule. Once she's in shcool she will need a nap and you can add one. Good luck.

HI,
I agree that it's good idea to move her bedtime back 15 minutes each night until you get it to 8:30 or 9. Also, you might want her to nap right after lunch, maybe go in by 1:00 or 1:30 so she will wake up early enough to go back to bed by the new bedtime you've set for her. Contrary to what others have posted here, I think it's a TERRIBLE idea to forego her nap during any of this (some suggested taking her to the park to tire her- great, but not instead of a nap. She'll be more cranky and actually is more likely to have a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep at night). Be kind and gentle with her as you both go through the transition to an earlier bedtime. I also don't know that you need to let her watch t.v. in the morning if you're already worried about getting her up in time for school. Maybe you like her to be occupied so you can get other things done, but it seems like a time-waster to me. Maybe wait to let her watch t.v. until she's waking up well-rested on your new scedule for a few weeks and you're not feeling rushed or pressured as much anymore. Then you might feel like she's waking up with enough time to do something like that before school. But really, I don't know if you want her to get into that habit since it's not practical for her as she goes to Kindergarten and higher grades, you know? But that's just my opinion! Good luck to you; you are doing the right thing, being concerned about your daughter's sleep, so I am sure you will make it work! :)
J.

Hi J., I see you have a lot of advice already. Your typical pre-school sleep/wake schedule should look something like this: wake up between 6-7 a.m, down for nap between 12-1, into bed for the night between 6-8. I think you will just have to start waking her up every morning at a consistent time, she will eventually adjust to needing her nap and bedtimes earlier...but they need to be encouraged at those times consistently. Keep up your schedule everyday, even weekends....you will all adjust eventually and be happier for it in the end...you and hubby need alone time too! Good luck...I think this may take a while, but consistency is key.

Unfortunately J. you're learning the first law of good parenting; when you committed to having this child you committed to putting her needs first over yours until she is out of your house. When I say needs I mean basic things like food, sleep, education.....etc. What I see missing in your formula is consistency. Her former preschool program was every other day...no consistency....You've tried keeping her from a nap here and there...no consistency....she gets up late, naps late and goes to bed late....now has to switch to a regular schedule, honey, YOU have to change YOUR schedule. You don't have a choice. You are the one who is going to have to be cranky and sleep deprived until you figure out how you're going to do this. What I mean is, trust me, children have to go to school earlier and earlier every year that they attend. Maybe you might have to homeschool. My kindergardener has to be at school at 8:15 am my 5th grader at 7:45!!!! This is the direction you're headed. You are going to have to make a choice between your art and your child....oops, you already did when you had her. All those Hollywood actresses have nannies who take their kids everywhere, wake them up and feed them too. I think you are just going to have to compromise yourself.

Bon chance!!!

This isn't the instant fix you're looking for, but it has helped me.

Move your daughter's bedtime up 10-15 minutes every 3 days. I do this when we have daylight savings and it works every time. Luckily I only have an hour to make up, but this process will take a little longer for you since you need to back her up 3 hours.

Like I said, not an instant fix, but it will work.

Break a leg!

Hi, J.! I feel for you...we're night owls, too. While we don't stay up as late as you, it is still late by most standards. My 4-yr old is just as happy to go to bed a 10pm and nap in the late afternoon as well. He's been in preschool since he was 2 and we did make some adjustments. He now goes to bed between 9-9:30 at night and, in school, he naps between noon-2:30. He gets up at 7-7:15 in the morning...and he seems fine. He has his mornings when he's cranky, but hey, who doesn't. When he's at his dad's (I'm divorced) he goes to bed at 8:30 and they say he doesn't get up on his own until 8 or 9 in the morning, but I also get the impression he doesn't nap much if at all during the day when he's there. That's a current bone of contention between our households right now...his dad doesn't like (or rather his gf has convinced him) that our son shouldn't be woken up...that he should just be left to sleep until he wakes up on his own. But I believe in routines...because he'll need that as he progresses in school. So we (my Mom, who lives with us) and me wake him up ourselves in the morning for school...but we do it gently and lovingly with kisses and hugs and smiles and jokes and in no time he's smiling and often giggling and then completely awake! :-)

Maybe you can see if you can get her to bed by 9:30 or 10 at night? If you need to get her up at 7:45, then that would give her about 10 hours+/- and that might gain you and your hubby an hour together before sleeping in addition to getting your daughter more sleep. And I agree with one of the other posts...you'll need to adjust her naps to just a bit earlier. Of course this will take some time and possible frustration on both your parts (she won't want to and you'll wish she would). In addition to a routine to get her to bed at night (bath, boo, bed) maybe the same concept should be done for nap time too-class/play, lunch, book or just mommy&me cuddle time, and nap right when you get home from picking her up.

Again, I feel for you! Please let us know what happens. Good luck!