Help on Getting My 22 Mo to Fall Asleep on His Own

Perhaps he was not ready for a big boy bed. I would let him cry it out. You need to set the new rules and stick to them--he'll cry a lot for a few days and then he'll get it. If he keeps getting attention/social contact for crying or playing, he'll keep it up. Do you have a gate on his door so I cannot come get you? I stopped reading stories to my 20 month old son before bedtime because he just got more and more alert. We read at other times of the day, and he goes down after a bath or shower and brushing his teeth. I have no idea what would happen if he was not in his crib...we aren't putting him in a big boy bed any time soon. My new baby, due in a couple of weeks, does not need his crib for a long time.

Well we transitioned my son who will be 3 in NOV last november when he was 2. At night we do the same thing 2 books then only 5 minutes of cuddle time...when we first started it was really hard because he kept getting out of bed. My mom finally went to super nanny and her advice is basically to put them to bed and then when they get up simply walk them back to bed, tell them they are ok and then leave. You don't want to cuddle or start a conversation with them...it is really hard for about a week. Wyatt my son came out about 30 times the first night but even the next night it was well over 20. From there it got a lot easier and then for three or four nights in a row he came out maybe 10 times. It is a learning period but it is well worth it for when you have your second. If you try this method and still want to cuddle take a timer and let him know that you will be leaving when the timer goes off. If he is starting to drift before then try to leave because the key is letting him know that you are leaving the room while he is still awake.

Good Luck,
N.

It only takes three days to establish new sleep patterns. That means you have three days of crying ahead of you. Let him cry it out.

you might want to try taking little steps with him. Like instead of laying with him just sit on the bed next to him. Once he is used to that then stand next to the bed until he falls asleep. And as he gets comfortable with that you move farther and farther away from the bed until you don't have to be in the room waiting for him to fall asleep. I saw this done on one of those nanny shows and it took a while but it did work. You would have to be very patient and be willing to do this for nights. But if you started now you would be done way before your next baby gets here. Good luck.

OOPS, just fyi for the next baby, start working on that at around 6 months old. I made the mistake of cuddling and rocking my baby to sleep and around 8 months it dawned on me I was teaching her that she needed ME or SOMEONE to get her to sleep. SO we cuddled her loved her read to her and put her in the bed and tried the 5,10, 15 method which is of course they will cry, (and your older kid may have the strength to cry for hours, babys wear out faster) BUT you love them and tuck them in. You go out of the room a FULL 5 minutes, watch the clock as it seems like an hour, but then you go in, put him back in bed (a baby you rub back and kiss- nver taking them out of their bed and leave again) You love and leave quickly. Then you stay out 10 minutes, again watch the clock. Then you go back and you put him back in bed and kiss and leave ---- You just keep doing this over and longer time periods and eventually they realize that 'Im not getting mommy to come lay with me/cuddle with me- she just keeps putting me back to bed' BUT CONSISTANCY IS KEY!!! It will take a lot of energy and consistancy but it works. Kids thrive in consistancy. So you and your husband may have to start early one day, say skip a nap so he's tired real early in the evening, that way you can be stronger to keep awake until he does, its always our parental weakness that lets kids do what they want, so hope that works and learn how to get your baby to self sooth to sleep early as the habits for my son, who is almost 3 has been he goes to bed, thats all he can remember, he doesnt remember us laying there or getting him to sleep. SO YA GOTTA START EARLY, dont delay now either or feel defeated because I PROMISE a 4 year old can scream louder, longer and open doors! YEah, do it now:) As far as stories go we had good luck with stories but we taught our little guy to read stories to himself after we left, meaning we would leave him with 5 books in his bed and tell him to read them to his stuffed animals, it would keep him in his bed! AND he would dose off looking at books, so thats an idea. Hope that helps and GOD BLESS you with your new baby and the little guy, sleeping good for ya!

I too have a 22 mo. old, will be 2 in October. We used to have this problem, but decided we enjoyed "our evenings" together, my husband and I, so we stopped laying with with her to fall asleep. I feel your pain as our daughter used to only fall asleep in the car (yes, I've driven around just for that reason:), the stroller, or when we laid with her. At about 14 mos. or so, we talked with our ped. and he recommended letting her "cry it out." Sounds harsh I know, but after a few nights it gets better. The first night just put your son in his bed (after all his routine stuff), pat his back and say "Good night." Walk out of the room. Let him scream as much as he wants, our daughter did this for 2 hours solid one time and it was so h*** o* me. Eventually she fell alsleep. I stay-at-home so I tried this with nap time once we conquered night time. It took a little longer for naps, but now she is napping for 2 hrs. + every day in HER crib! Before it was maybe 20 - 30 mins. and in our bed. Let me tell you, it is an incredibile, free, feeling knowing you can put your child to bed and that's it. The rest of the night is yours! Especially with a new baby on the way, very important I would think to get this done. Good luck! I've been there and what I just said worked!

I too had this problem with my second oldest boy. He was born early so I was always worried about him, and my husband was in Korea at the time so I had his crib in my room but he usually slept with me. When my husband came home it was pure heck at bed time. We ended up doing what alot of others have suggested to you. Give him a warm bath read him a story hugs and kisses and leave the room. If he comes out put him back. If he gets up in the middle of the night take him back to bed! When my younger daughter was born I started right away her sleeping alone. I would feed her and try to keep her awake while she ate from 3 months on then once she ate I would lay her in her bed and let her go to sleep in a quite room on her own. This worked well for her and then I used the same technique on my youngest who is 3. He has slept by himself his whole life, so has my 5 year old daughter. Good luck and like the other said it will be painful for you but he will not be crying cause he is in pain just to make you come get him.

this will not be a good time to do this, the routine will change alot come nov. there is nothing wrong with the way things are. enjoy this time it will pass to soon. way to soon! babies cry for a reason needing your attention is as valid a reason as any.

My daughter just turned 2 in June, and she has that same issue. However, I fixed naptime this week. I actually lay her on my bed and tell her that I will be right back and the first 4-5 days were not fun. She screamed and cried for at least an hour before I would curl up with her and she would calm down and pass out. I would tell her that I would leave if she didn't stop crying and if she didn't then I would leave the room. Now the last two days have been bliss. I lay her in there and tell her the same thing and when I come back she she is sound asleep.

Now I will work on the nighttime doing the same thing, but I can almost do the same there to. I just keep telling her that I will be right back and she usually stays put. At first, I come back soon (to make sure that she is in bed) and then I make the visits back longer in between each time.

So good luck, the crying is no fun to listen to, but it seemed to work.

I am in the same boat as you are. My little girl who will be 2 in 2 days has the same issue. I was happy/relived when she finally moved off the couch (it was easier for us to lay there together then in her toddler bed). But she is now in her toddler bed, with me and I am 5 months pregnant. My older toddler had the same problem (who is now 4) and just out grew it while the 2nd baby came along.
I don't have too much advice being that I have the same problem (which after 2 kids I know it is my fault for allowing it to go on so long). I would nurse both my girls to sleep (they never spit up or had to burp much, so it was just easier to keep them asleep).
So hopefully they will both just grow out of it as time goes on and this time I know I will do things differently with my 3rd.
Sorry.

I put my son in a rocking chair that I strap him into - a car seat may work too, I use a fisher price rocking chair and it is comfortable for him. That way he was not able to stand up and cry, so the only alternative is to sleep. He actually calms down easier when I put him in it because he knows he can sleep in there. I'm not sure if he knows why he can sleep in there and my husband really didn't like it at first, but it worked. Then I transitioned him to falling asleep in a crib, but I still keep the rocking chair there for times when he has trouble falling asleep. The other day he would not sleep in his crib and was standing up screaming, then I put him in the chair and he was asleep almost immediately. I know if he cries for a while in the chair it's because he's really not tired, or he's hungry, thirsty, poopy or hot. I don't know if separate rooms might help - the Fisher Price rocking chair I bought is really lightweight and would be very easy to put in different rooms. Ok, here it is, the infant to toddler rocker: http://search.ebay.com/search/search.dll?from=R40&_tr...

I got mine on clearance at Wal-mart, but there seem to be some good deals on eBay.

Anyhow, my son is very big for his age (14 mos) and he still fits in it and sleeps for a few hours.

good luck!

You have set him up for a habit, you laying there until he falls asleep. That is his soother. Now you have to put him in bed, tell him it is time to go to bed, read a story, then walk out of the room. Let him cry even if it is an hour, let him cry, walk him back to his room if he opens the door and comes out. Be consistent and tough. Just keep calm and keep consistent, that is the best thing you can do.
It may take a week or so but teaching him to fall asleep by himself is the best thing you can do for him.

Warn him very strictly to NOT get out of bed or the toys are gone, if he does it, then take them out of his room. May sound harsh, may sound a pain but I promise you if you want the end result you have to be ready for the work.
It is not mean to get him out of the habit, it is a positive.
Teaching him as much independence as possible will empower him, give him new found confidence and feeling like a big boy. Mostly it will make life easier for you when your baby comes along, promise!

Do baby steps since he is so old. Stop laying in his bed for one. Read the book in the hall or couch. then put him in his bed and sit near his bed. Move out of the room slowly until you are at the door. Then work towards a two minute cuddle and you leave the room cracking the door shut. May have to leave the light in the hall on or get a night light though.

I was in the same boat. The advice to gradually leave the room is a good one, but ultimately what worked for us was a bribe. "If you stay in bed in your room ALL night you get..." -- but my son was almost a year older than yours when we did this and could understand the longer term reward. For all of my sleep problems with him I recommend the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" -- I don't believe in crying it out and this book gives some great alternatives to bedtime becoming a traumatic separation time from you. Good luck -- and congrats on the new baby!

First, I also recommend that you get the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book. In addition, one thing we did with our firstborn when she was almost two (and I was expecting our second) was we got her a kid tape player and books that came with cassette tapes. Nowadays you can get CDs, but you get the idea. I think we started off listening to the story with her, and she would look at the book in bed. Eventually she would listen to the story on her own. We started doing this with her at naptime, and then used it for bedtime as well. The nice thing about CDs is you can set them to "repeat" and not have to go in and start it again. Even now most of our kids listen to either music or stories on CD at bedtime.

I also suggest that your husband be in charge of putting your son to bed most of the time if possible. That way your son will be used to dad putting him to bed, which will be much easier once the baby is born and you have to tend to her. Best of luck with all the big changes ahead! :)

Cindy-YES! We have done the SAME thing with our 3 1/2 year old. We have been doing pretty good for the last 6 months with him falling asleep on his own and sometimes it takes 5 mins sometimes an hour and a half. Here are some thing we have tried.
Sitting by his bed-not talking to him (supernanny tricks)
We bought glow-in-the-dark stars and put them all over the ceiling.
We did a bedtime chart that helped and the last picture was him sleeping in his bed by himself.
My friend has a light timer and her little girl can play in bed with toys or read books but when her light goes out-she has to go to sleep.
I have also heard of a tent bed.
Good luck!