Help on Child Support Issue

I live in new york to and my ex was ordered to pay so much a week child support and so much a week in child care well i lost my job and didn't work for about a month i still received my child support but they stop charging him for child care but when i went back to work they started charging him for child care again so yeah they can reduce the amount of child care but not the amount of child support that you get..

J.,

my husband went (still going) through the same thing. my step son is turning 9 years old in 2 weeks and my husband splits ALL costs with her that has anything to do with my step son. THEREFORE, he pays for half of before / after school care. even though he is not in daycare per say... the school provides a service that his mother feels is necessary for him to go to (she can drop him off as early as 7:30 am and pick upno later than 5:30 pm).

i would fight for it if you could... dont just give up.

Well I would say...get a lawyer! I'm guessing it's been years since you've had this agreement and my guess is he's paid taxes...if he's going to be a jerk see if you can get him for back child support...from my understanding, the courts aren't very nice to liars...Kids grow up and they only get more expensive...and with the rise of gas and food costs I'd make sure he doesn't start slacking...plus now you'll have extra activiites from sports to girl scouts...if he's not paying for daycare make him pay for those! Find a new lawyer(a new perspective) get a free consultation and find out what you're in for...don't wait and let it happen and then you're not prepared...get ready and when he starts acting up have a plan and act on it. This isn't mean or selfish, there are child support laws and programs for the reason that it is important for the children! Don't let down your daughter, do what's right for her, lead by example! She's worth the fight!

If he is paying you the costs for daycare, he can certainly petition the court to reduce the payment to you for that.

If he is paying the center directly, he will continue to do so at a lower rate.

Child support and day care expenses are serarate issues, legally. Child support is based on his income. Day care expenses are not.

Legally, it's pretty cut and dried.

You can also, as an "interested party" get a copy of his tax forms from the IRS in many cases, to support your case, if he is filing more than he claims in court. just an fyi.

S.

Hi J.,
I'm divorced and have a 6 year old son. I've been a single mom since my son was two, and the way it works is once the court orders child support payments they can't go down. In fact if his financial situation changes for the better you can take him back to court and ask for more money from him. For one child by law he has to give you 17% of his income for child support. Regardless if he gets his income from his homes or work. You typically need a good and smart lawyer, and this way the judge can even make him get a job in order to pay child support.

The best advice I can give you is what I've learned in the last four years, and it's this. If at all possible don't depend on anyone but yourself, strive to make as much money as you can by either taking classes online or in school to better and further your career. The more financially independent you become the less headaches you get from the father. And finally, don't let him get away by not paying. He made the baby with you and he needs to support your child with you. If he doesn't you can take him back to court, and YOU SHOULD. Your feelings for each other should not come to play when it comes to making sure your child is taken care of. You have to do everything you can to make sure that's the case, even if it's a pain in the butt.

Remember; be strong, independent and don't let him scare you with empty words. The law is the law and his "big talk" won't change that. Make sure to have a lawyer and that your child is financially taken care of.

Good Luck
K.

J.,

The way child support works...at least in New York...with one child, they look at the combined income of both parents and 17% of that is what is for the child. Then they take the percentages and determine what each parent should be contributing towards that 17%. That is what the courts can make him pay, regardless of any previous agreement. I would be proactive and take him to court for a change in support due to the change in age of the child. You are entitled to it. Take matters into your own hands before he does. That 17% has nothing to do with child care costs, health insurance costs, or unreimbursed medical expenses. That is for the care of the child, not to pay for child care. Talk to a lawyer but I have dealt with child support for many years and believe I am telling you what is correct.

So, for example, if he made $1000 a week and you made $400 a week...17% of $1400 is the total amount to support the child per week. Then you have to figure that $1000 is what percentage of $1400, and that percentage is the amount he has to pay towards the figure that made up 17%...oh my its late and I know I'm not explaining this right...I'm too tired to do the math, but anyway, point being you should take matters into your own hands.

D.

J.,

You need an attorney, not a mom's group - go get the best one you can find and advocate for your child...if he isn't paying for child care, he should be paying some sort or child support - and if not to you directly, establish a trust for your child and fight to have him put the money into that for your childs future...

Also, look into Child Support Collections...that takes what he owes you right out of his paychecks.

Best wishes to you...don't roll over for this guy - college is expensive...so are all the lessons and groups your child will want to join - he should be entitled to pay half those expenses as well.

J.

Unless you or your ex petition the court for a support modification, the amount stands. If he does petition the court, it will take a while for the hearing and he would have to supply the courts with proof as to why he wants it lowered. When /if he petitions, respond back to the courts ASAP with your answers to his claims.(forms online for your county) If not, keep your mouth shut and let him file....unless you want an increase. Since your daughter is getting older, you can petition for an increase due to her age...remember, every six months anyone can petition the courts for an increase.(At least in PA you can)

As far as listening to him goes in regards to the cost of anything towards your child...hello? You are the one raising that child...do some digging.

If you need some legal advice and where to look for online forms...drop me am email. I'll see what I can do. I just went through this with my youngest daughter this year and two years ago with my son's father.

Nanc
Certified Paralegal and single mom of four

He cannot drop the support because child care increases. He is still responsible for half of the child care, daycare, schooling etc. Shame on your lawyer for not specifying this. Email me if you have further questions.

Child Support and Day Care contributions are two separate issues. Just like paying half of un-paid medical expenses. Child support is monitored by the Court. If he does not pay child support he will be brought in on contempt. The day care and medical are above and beyond regular child support. If he is not paying his court-ordered share you must file a motion with the court or speak to the person monitoring your child support case to bring it to thier attention. He legally had to pay his part but these two are not as closely monitored becuase they can fluctuate regularly. The weekly child support however is the same amount weekly unless modified again by direct Court order. I realize you are in NY and I am in CT but if my understanding is correct these rules apply througout. I currently have a child support case in the CT Courts myself and I also work for an attorney. Hope this helps.

Depending on what state you live in, you can probably find some very sound information on that state's child support. Be careful of your sources on the internet though. In New York you can file a petition to modify child support if there is a change in circumstances. This would probably qualify as my ex is looking to do the same. He was ordered to pay 55% of daycare expense, but never paid the childcare provider directly so we lost a really good spot. Upon returning to court on this issue I was to pay in full and provide him w/receipts, which he didn't reimburse me for. So we went back to court and like you I agreed to take a much lesser amount towards the daycare expense as long as he agreed to have it directly withdrawn from his check each week. Of course as long as that worked to his advantage he kept it that way. Now that my son is 11 and daycare is less expensive and he spends less time there, it is to my advantage so now he wants to back to court to modify this.

You can file a cross petition seeking a cost of living increase due to the many years since the order was put in place. He can't claim to not have worked for the last several years. If he owns 5 homes could he have rental income - he is supporting himself some how and a good hearing examiner will get to the bottom of the situation!

The bottom line is yes he can move to have the daycare reduced. Look at this is your opportunity to have the statutory amount increased!

I am currenlty going through the legal process of custody and divorce and I am under the impression that you should receive 17% of his income regardless of daycare. Daycare and other expenses are something that he should pay on top of the 17% of his income. HOpe this helps

He still needs to pay for after school care and summer camp. I have my child support garnished from my ex's check. This way we don't have to argue about money. My understanding is that you have to go back to court to formally change any child support that is court ordered. It can not just happen by one person writing a letter.

Good Luck.

Hi J.
well i just got through with court for my oldest son he is 10 now and guess what the judge took the child care expenses and removed them from the child support and i was using them for his after school programs. The problem with the courts is that they side too much with the dead beat dad. I know what you are going through my sons father owns his own business and he tells the court he is not working. The best advice i can give you is to tell the judge you are going to use that money to keep her in an after school program and after school programs usually cost just about the same amount as daycare

I would take him to court before you lose this financial contribution, he obviously plans to decrease his support,
you need to prepare before that day comes,

Do not worry about hurting his feelings,
this is about you and your family,

You need more support, ask for it.

He'll get over it.

and I am pretty sure the courts will agree

this money is to support his child, an not for you.
married or not does matter.

M

as far as i know, since your care is separate from the support, he could go and say since the care now is less, he needs to pay less and they would grant that. BUT you can always go back to the court if you want to ask to be reassessed. does he work now? even if someone gets a raise, you can take them back and ask for more and they will grant it since its supposed to be based on income. what does it say on his taxes? for the last 2 years?

for example, this man paid his child support dutifully, and was a hard worker. a few years later, he decided he would get a second job to try and save for a house. well, the ex got wind of the 2nd job and went to court, and they granted her more money since his second job was giving him more more. but the funny-well not really funny- thing is that if he decided to just quit his 2nd job because of all this, the court wont knock down his support as easily, so in essence he is stuck working 2 jobs now and still doesnt have any extra money for himself.

always remember you can go back. in 18 yrs of a childs life, there is a good chance a father would be making more every couple of years. and dont ever get caught up in the proving that you werent in it for money. its not about you, its about providing your daughter with needed things as much as you can. good luck.

I know how it works. If he doesn't want to be a man and take care of his daughter, there are many bottom feeding lawyers who will help him. My ex was ordered by the court to pay our son's private school tuition. It was $10,000.00 per year, but he is very wealthy and that was chump change for him. He didn't pay it, and an attorney told me that to take him to court would cost me $10,000.00 up front. I didn't have that kind of money, but if I had, I pretty much knew that if I did take him to court, he would pay the tuition the night before we went to court, and he'd tell the judge he had paid it and that would be that. Eight or ten years later, I did take him to court and the judge made him pay the school the tuition, but by then my son was in public school for many years. The school had been bought by another school and the payment was more like a charity contribution, but I did it anyway. When the judge asked me why, I said I had promised the school if they kept my son that awful one year I would find a way to pay them some time. The judge made my ex write the check right on the spot. It didn't help my son and it didn't help me. Many of us have taken care of our children without men, and our children have been better for it. My heart goes out to you. Don't let bitterness get you. Good luck!

J.
You need to find yourself a lawyer and ask him/her these questions. Get your facts directly from the horse's mouth and be ready to face whatever it is that you have to. It is always best to be armed with facts and be prepared for battle so to speak. We can only give you opinions and without knowing all the facts to your situation,it may not be correct.
Good Luck.

Hi J.,

I don't know that you need to "worry", but I would be concerned and be prepared. If the papers state he needs to pay 1/2 the "day care", that would mean 1/2 the after school care.

I would gather all the receipts/records of what you've paid and what he's paid. Reseach how much after school care is going to cost, also remember to include full time care for next summer and all those school holidays and vacations. Then start searching for a good attorney.

This way if he takes you to court, or starts paying less than his share, you'll be ready.

Good luck.

While every circumstance is different, child support and child care expense are 2 different things. The only way to change his support obligation is to go back to court.

Child CARE on the other hand is extremely simple and can change day-to-day. The way we handle it, it the provider collects half from each of us. we pay separately and possibly on different days--I don't know or care when or how he pays. I just lost my job 2 weeks ago and if he chooses to keep them in care while I am at home because he doesn't want the girls with me on HIS days, his lawyer told him it would be his sole expense since I am available to care for my own children and daycare would not be necessary.

Anyway, when my youngest starts kindergarten in the fall, any childcare expense would be split still, but support will remain the same until we go back for re-evaluation after the 24 month period is up, if we so choose.

My friend's ex lives out of state, and child care is before and after school and some Saturdays. She pays the entire expense and he reimburses her after much scrutiny and harrassment.

Hope this helps. --C.!

J.,
I know exactly how you stand. Please understand if he owns that many houses they are assets. That is income too. If you can prove this to the court than he will have to pay. I understand you do not want to deal with him, but, the bottom line is either let it go or stand up and fight for what is right. I know all too well that it takes a lot to have justice served, I currently am going through this and have for years with my boys father. Needless to say, I have won. Just depends on what you want to do. Good luck to you.

Just because your daughter will not need so much day care does not mean anything. There might be some adjustments in cost and consideration taken into thought; but let's be realistic.......your daughter will have other needs now. She will need tons of school supplies, snacks, juices, money for trips, arts & crafts, etc. Do you get my point? Loss in one area due to a change in lifestyle, or in your daughter's case, a new school and/or grade, usually means gain in another area. Yeah, the judge will have to calculate the changes in day care payments, but hopefully they will not be so close minded to everything else. Good luck. Let us know what happens.

He can put in a petition to have the support payment dropped, but unless its a significant amount of money it really won't make a difference. Remember that the amount of support he is paying is based on the amount of financial responsibility he has. Basically if he makes more than you, then his percentage of responsibility is higher than yours. Therefore, a slight decrease in one expense won't really change his payments.

If the court says he pays half the day care, yes, the amount he pays will reduce as the day care costs go down.

Hi J.-

I am in NY and have gone through the process. NY does not look kindly on father's trying to elude their responsibilities. Your ex can go to court requesting a reduction but it's highly unlikely he will receive it because once his assets are calculated, it's a matter of how much he has. You can also petition the court to include your child's day care costs as part of the support. My ex has a certain amount of money taken out of his paycheck and it's direct deposited into my account. I additionally requested that he cover all of my daughter's medical expenses. When I was in front of the magistrate, he was very direct. He just kept asking, "Any thing else?" All I requested was complied.
Legally, your ex MUST pay a % of his income in child support for his 1st child. Each additional child gets a little less Here's a link to the NYS Child Support Standards chart:

https://newyorkchildsupport.com/pdfs/CSSA%202008.pdf

Hope this helps.

A little about me:

I love to shop and read as well as help others. I own my own business and I am a business coach providing free mentoring to individuals with stay at home businesses, teaching the skills needed for success.

I am newly married (Sept. '07) but we've been together for 5 years. I have 3 children, 1 is special needs. He's the best little boy! Christopher is 7. My other 2 are 13 (girl) and 20 (boy)

J.
He has to go to court in person and file petition for child support reduction/day car expense. He does not have to pay the original amount as of Sept. Now, he has to know this and take YOU to court, not just petition(in NYS), BUT, if you ended up in court every payment you took AFTER you needed less from him for daycare, is subject to the lesser rate and you might have to pay him. Our son's ex (she left HIM and what a shock that was), has been getting daycare now that his child is in school for over a year. Because they are so far away and he has to work so much and cannot get great lawyer, he has not taken her to court, but he has been legally advised that he is entitled to a reduction. the same can be said by your ex.
Blessings
AM