Help!? No Interest in Potty Training-

Updated on October 04, 2011
S.D. asks from Portland, OR
27 answers

our just turned 2 year old twins have NO interest in sitting on the potty....our 4 1/2 year old was totally potty trianed by age 2.
is there anyway to get them into it? i have tried books, videos, excitment.
i know people say "wait until they are ready" but i want this to be sooner rather than later.

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answers from Spokane on

I know YOU want this, but if you wait until they're READY it will be much easier and faster for everyone.

I waited until my daughters were about 2 years and 4 months old (too old to be in diapers according to *some* people - *eyeroll*) and they were both 100% trained within a few weeks. On the other hand, a friend of mine started training her daughter at 18 months....SHE was 100% trained at 2.5 years. Personally I prefer training for a few weeks over a YEAR!!! But that's just me ;o)

Wait until they are ready

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dayton on

They are still really little, IMO.
My IL's tried to potty train my niece before she was ready and it was a very long battle.
Just keep showing them the books and videos.
And remember every child is different.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

26 months is the _beginning_ of the ideal window for potty training. Give them a couple of months. Believe me, we'd all rather have it be sooner rather than later...

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answers from Washington DC on

I know you want this, but it has to be on their time table.You can not compare them to your older child. All children are different when it comes to potty training. Unfortunately this is one thing that we as parents have no control over. It's a developmental thing just like walking. 2 is still very young for most kids. They will do it when they are ready.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Cincinnati on

If they aren't ready, you are going to just frustrate yourself. Save yourself the trouble and wait until they show a peak of interest.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

What you want is not relevant. Sorry.

You have to wait until they are ready. If you push the issue before they're ready, you'll open yourself up to a host of problems you don't want.

When they're ready, you'll know it. Just be patient.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

We all want it sooner, but for some kids it is just later, nothing you can do about it.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Nashville on

Unfortunately, what we want as parents isn't always what our kids want or are ready to do.
Remember, your three kids are all completely different.
I remember, my first (boy) slept SO well, I was spoiled. I just assumed any child that came from me would be like that. Ha! My daughter, she is 3 and still sleeps pretty lousy.

When it came to potty training, also much different. But I had to learn this; stressing out, will only put undue pressure on them and on you and on your relationship with them.

Celebrate your childrens' differences, be glad they are not of the same mold, even when that means wearing diapers a little bit longer.

Encourage them, but take the stress off of all three of you. It'll happen :o)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

They are not really old enough to even show an interest. Besides the fact they are twins they are only just 2. Child care centers usually don't even have bathrooms in the classrooms until the kids turn 3. I think giving them more time is the best way to go. Since it is getting cold they might be ready in the Spring when it gets warmer too. It's always easier to let them go commando when it's warmer weather.

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answers from Medford on

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but don't push it. I did with my daughter and I wound up potty training her from around 18 months old (when I thought I saw signs of readiness--I think I was ready, not her) to just after her 3rd birthday. Once she got it, she really got it and it was easy. However, the year and a half before that was awful. Lots of arguing and tons of laundry! Also, she got so stressed about it we've had to deal with withholding and constipation. I've been lucky in that she never really had a back slide, no bed wetting and very few accidents once she was potty trained. So, I know it's tempting to push a little, but just save yourself the drama and don't.



answers from Seattle on

I think that the harder you try, the more they resist. And the more frustrated you become, the more they stand their ground. It is on their terms and I for certain do not know any un-potty trained 5 year olds, so it will happen. I guess I say, pick your battles....This is not an easy one to fight. Two is still young for potty training - most kids are closer to 3 and some to 4. I lucked out just like you did with your first. Some are early, some are later....I'd say encourage, talk about it all the time. When your 4 year old goes, make them come in too, but don't make them use the toilet unless they want to. Good luck to you.



answers from Chicago on

Sorry, you have to wait until they're ready. My twins are three next week and one has been trained for two months and the other is almost there. If you push too hard before they're ready they will push back and the kids always win this one.



answers from Pittsburgh on

My son had no particular interest in the potty when he turned two. As far as I could see he had no particular interest in brushing his teeth, getting dressed, going to the supermarket with me and all sorts of things that I just made part of his day.

So we put him in underwear, took him to the bathroom (regular toilet with a Bjorn seat cover) frequently and in 3-4 days he was peeing and pooping in the toilet. A couple of accidents over the first two weeks and then done. He is 5 now and has still never expressed interest in brushing his teeth, going to the bathroom and going to the supermarket. Yet he does them all.

I personally think 'potty readiness' is a concept invented by the disposable diaper industry :) Back in the 1950's the average age American children were trained (as in done, not started) was 18 months. In most of the world today it is younger than that. Late training in an American invention - toddler physiology is the same across cultures.


answers from Kansas City on

we all feel your pain, keep that in mind when everyone says it's not what you want, it's when they're ready lol. it's experience talking. myself, we had about three false starts, starting at about age 2, when i felt he "could" be ready...and he wasn't. i would get all gung ho about it, try really hard for a few weeks or a month, and he just wouldn't get it. he was almost 3 before it stuck. good luck!



answers from Portland on

Sorry - unless you want trouble and a longer time trying to potty train - wait until they are ready.



answers from Seattle on

I just got my son to pee in the potty for the first time and he turned 3 in August. I would just wait. Trying to push it just makes everyone miserable.



answers from Seattle on

Personally - take THEIR cues. The more you push, the more they are apt to just 'forget it'. I understand you want it ... but be successful the first round and have them lead the way. Continue to read the books... but not as a 'you must do this', more of a 'see, this is what is going to happen, let me know when you are ready'. Our son - 2yr 2mos shows interest on HIS time - usually right before bed. He is WAY too distracted to do it full time. He has yet to have a completely dry diaper. He's a boy - I figure this will be a long process for us. He won't be black and white like some kids. All I know is that he will be ready when HE is ready. Good luck!



answers from Seattle on

Nope, there is no way. Two is too young for just about any child to potty train. You are far better off waiting until your children show interest in starting the process than forcing it on them before they are ready. You will save them and yourself a ton of unhappiness if you back off and let them determine the timeline.


answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter had a strong will. I had to let her lead on potty training. The harder I tried the more she resisted. Aside from a candy reward (we gave gummy bears (1 for pee, two for poo), nothing helped. But in time she lead the way around age 3 and completely PT by 3.5. If you son is strong willed forcing it may send you backwards.



answers from Portland on

Just wait. My daughter started showing an interest at 18 months and was potty-trained by 2 years and 3 months. My son, however, showed NO interest in potty-training until he was almost 3 years old. But when he was ready, it was super fast and a snap. Watching and waiting is the best approach. Starting too soon only makes headaches, anxiety and even regression. Not what you want!


answers from San Francisco on

Hi, my son is 25 months has been potty training for 3 weeks now, and he's really good when we are at home. Before we leave the house, I put a diaper on him and Im so amazed as to how long he has learned to hold his urine.
We started potty training when we had hot weather. We started using the underwears right away, I never used pull ups because I believe that it can confuse them. So I talked to him about how he was becoming a big boy and that we shoild start using the big boy potty. That whenever he felt the urge to go, to let me know or come running to the potty. Its ok if you dont make it on time, accidents happens and we are just learning to use this. Now the whole time I was talking to him, I was looking into his eyes. We started with m&ms' 1 for pee and 2 for poop. After he finally got the hang of it, instead of treats, I applaud him, danced and tell him straight in the eye that I was very proud of him ,and that he was becoming a big boy just like Caillou. And sometimes Put some youtube videos of kids using the potty just like him. I think almst every kid, love that great attention of their parents, specially to tell him that he's doing a great job. And sometimes he'll ask me for a treat but I tell him that we dont have any more but that Im extremely happy for him and throw him in the air, and let me tell you that he prefers that than a candy.
Conclusion, talk to them, have eye contact with them, but most important thing of all, make sure that YOU feel confident in them and that YOU feel happy for them. Because as you know, kids sense evrything from you.
Good luck and maybe stop using the pull ups, and maybe l let them be wet for a bit, maybe they'll learn that they dont like that feeling. If you do that, ask him how they feel, and hoping that they'll say "uncomfortable" than explain to them the reason why we need to run to the potty when our brain tells us to. Tell them that you were just like them when u were a kid and felt very cold too....etc...



answers from Buffalo on

S. I know how you feel. I just started potty training my twins and they will be 2 in a few months. I don't push it and I know every morning after breakfast one twin poops and the other would soak her diaper. So after breakfast, I sit them on the potty with a few books for them to look at and read and if they do not use the potty within 20 mins, I take them off. Sometimes they would not go, but most times they went. I just want them to get the feel for using the potty and help them understand what they have to do. But I never push it more then once a day because I do not want them to regress. I also want them potty trained or I will be changing babies in diapers in a few months. I hope that like most parents, I will have mine potty trained and when they turn 2 they will understand more. The little ones want to sit on the potty just to read a book, but I dont mind because at least they attempt to sit on it. Bring out books that are interesting and something the twins will like to look at.



answers from Pittsburgh on

I think it's more important that they are ready, than what you want! LOL



answers from Seattle on

Our just turned two year old twins also don't have any interest in the potty. My four and a half year old was not trained until he was just over three, though, but he did pee and poop on the potty before he was two! The twins, however, are not as interested as he was. I even have them in cloth diapers because they say kids train faster than with disposables, but no such luck here. They'll do it when they're ready. I can't force them to go, so I'm not stressing about it. They'll do it when they're good and ready, just like their brother. I'd love to be done, too, but other than reading them books, talking about it, getting them to sit on the potty - I still can't make them go. They say twins are slower to train than singletons and boys are slower than girls. You haven't said the sexes of your children, but boys are definitely much slower than girls at this. I have three boys, so I don't see myself being diaper-free for another year at least. Sigh.


answers from Kansas City on

Your wants are not the needs of your children. If they have no interest, then they aren't ready. Been there done that. We went through cycles with my son, he would appear ready, then nothing, no interest at all. A month after he turned three he was trained in three days!



answers from New York on

Yeah, it sucks. But everyone I know who went crazy bribing, threatening, dealing with multiple accidents had the same experience. One day their kid was just ready and boom, they potty trained. Just wait it out and enjoy the lack of wet pants.


answers from Rochester on

You can't get them interested if they are not. Having a child totally potty trained by the age of two seems a bit miraculous...I even have a hard time believing that you had no accidents, no nighttime wetting, etc, from two on.

For encouragement, I'll say this. My oldest, who was always very advanced intellectually but a bit on the slower side physically (although she's well within the norms) had NO interest, so I just didn't push it. One day, when she was almost three, she just told me flat out that she wanted to wear underwear instead of diapers and that was that. After that moment, there were NO accidents, NO issues, no nothing...she just started using the potty. So I didn't have any of the hassle.

I understand with twins maybe wanting to be done with diapers, but it seems awfully early.

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