Help Night Weaning 20 Mo

Night time nursing is usually the last ones for a child to be comfortable with losing... Is there a specific reason that you want to wean right now if he is still very much into it? If you aren't totally set on weaning immediately, it would be sooooo much easier on your son (and possibly you and hubby too!) to just go with the flow and let his own disinterest develop in time naturally. Sure, you can distract him to reduce a day feed or try weaning away one night feed, etc....but the all-out battles that go along with forcing him to wean before he is naturally ready could be avoided :-) 20 months old is still young, probably too young to really 'understand' the way we do about why he can't do the thing that makes him feel comfortable, full and loved... He doesn't see it any other way, so sometimes I think it's good to think about what they are feeling and going through as you wean away a given nursing time. The WHO still recommends a full 2 years, so it's still very beneficial to him. Every child is different, if he is actively consuming breastmilk each time he wakes at night, then he needs it nutritionally and his metabolism is such that it necessitates eating frequently. If he's not eating fully, then he is still developing emotionally and needs the comfort, closeness and love at night that he so enjoys and has trusted. If you decide that yo want him to replace you with something else for comfort (a blanky, teddy, sippy) then it will be up to you, but I personally like being the one my little one turns to :-) I have read that it is good for babies/toddlers to develop the sense of turning to people rather than things for comfort as young people so that they will turn to people as adults rather than other forms of self comfort that may not be as healthy. You have been a wonderful mother and I know you want the best for your family. Hang in there! Sleep will come again in due time :-) If you are planning to get pregnant again, things will all change for your toddler again anyway.... he may naturally wean due to the change in taste or supply of your milk, then you have avoided the battles and sleepness nights that come with a forced wean.

Have you read the LLL book called 'How Weaning Happens'? Have you considered joining an online Yahoo egroup for those nursing beyond 12 months? They always have awesome pointers and loads of experience. Look under extended nursing or nursing beyond one year....

I wish you the best, hang in there. He will only be little and nursing and needing you at night for such a short time in their life, enjoy it while it lasts.... before long he will be in a new phase and this will be in the past.

Have you eve gone to a La Leche meeting? They are great for support and ideas on how to get through difficult nursing times. They would have some great suggestions for you. I currently nurse my 18 month old twins. They did night time feedings 1-2 times a night until they were 13-14 months old. I weaned them from that because I was so exhausted. They had no trouble with it. I would go in to nurse them but them decreased the nursing time by a few minutes every night until it stopped. I still nurse them in the mornings, after nap time and before bed. If he is not ready then he is not ready why force it. Hope this helps. i strongly suggest getting in contact with La Leche. I think ithe website is lalecheleague.com but not 100%. Good luck and congrats on nursing for so long!
J.

I think the bedtime nursing sessions are the hardest for them to give up. If you're really not wanting to wean completely, I would continue the bedtime nursing. Personally, I would have trouble with the middle of the night nursing at that age. Maybe make an agreement with your husband that he should get up with him for a week or two while he gets used to not being nursed back to sleep. Maybe offer him a sippy cup with water in case he really is thirsty. I don't really consider it CIO if your husband is there with him. If you just left him to cry, that's another story entirely, but your husband with him, letting him know that he's safe and cared for is what counts. Even if he's not happy about not nursing and cries.

I'm still nursing my big baby too, 16 mo old. I'm his comfort when nothing else will comfort him. It's good to read other advice b/c it was hard to get him to sleep through the night. I needed it so I could leave him with my mom over night on occassion.

My husband puts him to bed. We stuff him with dinner and milk (still in a bottle, I know, I know), then my husband takes over. We trade the milk for water in a bottle, (I'm a dental hygienist remember). We give him a silky blanket, and my husband takes him to his crib. We have lullubies on for him too.

I discovered that with me, he wants to nurse, with my husband or friend, he'll take a bottle, or even a sippy cup. We found the night time routine works, he doesn't even cry. I had to do it by myself last night, and he went right to bed! It's all about consistency, and if you're really ready or not. At 12 months, I thought I should be done nursing. But neither he or I was ready yet for cold turkey.

I always nurse him around 6 or 7am and cuddle before we have to get up, but I call that sleeping through the night. No matter what you do, I think it's fine.

Hi there and congrats on being a member of the "extended nurser" club! I actually do not like the term since it makes us stand out, when what we are doing is actually the way nature intended us to nurture our kids, but that's another story...

I am currently nursing a 2.5 year old and "thinking about weaning" too. I am trying to remember how I got her off night nursing-- I believe it was just what you are doing-- having dad put her to bed enough times that I could be sure she knew how to go back to sleep on her own. Then at night, when she woke up, I'd just wait awhile to see if she went back to sleep on her own or went in only for a cuddle. Offering a sippy cut of water worked well for us, too.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to get a good night's sleep (not that night weaning guarantees that anyway; sometimes one or both of my 4 and 2.5 year olds still get up for whatever reason), and there is absolutely no reason to feel that you have to wean entirely.

I would keep up the nap nursing and nursing to sleep sometimes while letting dad put him to bed other times. In the middle of the night have dad comfort him or go in for a cuddle and offer a sippy cup. If he's insistent, go ahead and nurse him, maybe just for a couple of minutes but not all the way back to sleep. See if that works. If it's too much of a battle, you may just want to go with the flow for a little longer. The more he learns to go to sleep without the nursing, the better chance he'll be able to fall back to sleep on his own when he wakes up, but it doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing, in my experience.

Enjoy your nursling! :)