Help Needed with Homeschool

Updated on March 04, 2008
W.T. asks from Eagle Mountain, UT
30 answers

We started homeschool this year and have gotten through the 1st semester ok, but are having a hard time getting through the second, especially with the snow! We are using a curriculum that can feel like we are slaves to it unless I get creative and try to make the lessons more fun. I just don't have that kind of time. I have a 9yr old boy who loves to write his own books, but when asked to study language arts and literature, and division in math, he really fights it. He doesn't like book work. He wants to be able to pick what he wants to do, but there are still things that are required for him to pass his end of yr. tests. I have read about unschooling and don't quite understand it. To me, it seems like the kids are able to do whatever, with little to no structure. My husband won't allow it anyway. He wants us to test the kids. I would like a little more freedom w/ what we want to learn.

I also have an 8 yr. old girl that used to throw tantrums every day and say she hates homeschool. After spending 2 hrs w/ her on a math concept she didn't understand, she finally understood it and I praised her like crazy! She now rarely throws tantrums and she gets her work done. Days like that, although hard, make homeschooling worth it!

Then there are my 4 yr. old daughter and my 9 month old son. My daughter has her own desk and likes to do a few worksheets and projects, but looses interest fast. She is constantly saying I don't pay enough attention to her. My baby needs attention too. How do moms do it all with multiple aged kids at different levels and keep the house clean, run errands, etc. and still stay sane? I have used various charts for chores, a school schedule, etc. but the kids complain about them and I try something else. I just don't feel like I am being consistent w/ them and they are walking all over me. We get their work done, but are sometimes not done unil 4pm. I am trying to establish a 9am-1:30pm time for school so I can get a nap in and get things I need to done around the house. I told the kids that whatever they don't finish becomes their homework. We have to do this because our schools are so overcrowded, but it would really be nice not to have to deal with the rigors of this curriculum. How can we change these few things and have more harmony in our home, have more time that is fun together and get all we need to do done?

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So What Happened?

I just want everyone to know how grateful I am for your support and encouragement with my efforts at homeschooling. It is nice to know others are going through similar things and there are answers for them. Just to update you, I had a talk with my hubby last night about opening our minds to different ways our kids learn and relaxing a bit with the curriculum. I had some great ideas last night before going to bed and was encouraged and excited for today. My hubby said I was talking in my sleep about it! Anyway, we had our regular "devotional" w/ the calendar, pledge, prayer, scriptures and our Story of the World History book. The kids always want to read more of that one. We use K12 as our curriculum and the kids are almost at 80% already in several of the subjects. I've been having my son do 6 lessons a day and my daughter do 4 (4th and 2nd grades). When I explained to my kids what I wanted to do today, doing more of a relaxed unschool day, they were very excited. We had my younger daughter's 4th bday this morning w/ presents and then we got out the clay and I taught them how to make coil pots. We cleaned up and went outside to ride my daughter's new bike and go on a walk. Then we came back and the kids worked on their stories they have been writing on the computer. My oldest daughter wanted to do a craft, so she found one in the craft book and made a TV out of a box and then played like she was a news reporter. Then I got some dishes done while the girls played together and we had lunch. That's where we are. I am writing things down as we do them so my husband can see what we do in a day. I feel like we aren't really doing much, because the curriculum has been so rigorous up to this point, but the kids are more relaxed and happy and so am I. I think I need to let go of some of the control I have been exerting onto them as their "teacher" and allow for them to explore and teach them more themselves. We do need to finish the curriculum, but I thought maybe we can add a few lessons in as we feel like it instead of requiring a certain amt. every day. I would love to hear how other K12 or virtual schoolers do this and not feel such pressure to finish it all. I know we need to just take baby steps and learn more how to be than to conform to a strict curiculum that we end up resenting. I would love to continue homeschooling our kids, but not the way we have been. No one really enjoys it and I have found my 9 yr. old going off into another world to escape again like he did in public school. That means he is bored of what he is doing and the joy is being sucked out of it all. I took my kids out so they could get their love for learning back and they did for awhile, but we got right back into the mundane tasks everyday and it has been very little fun. Thank you all for your help in breaking us out of this silly box. I know it will take time but I think we're on the right track.

W.

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R.C.

answers from Denver on

We have been doing home school for over 5 years now. I was with one that was too much paperwork. We have been with Vilas Online for three years now and love it. I have teacher support and it is public school online. I only have two kids ages 10 and 12 and both learn totally different. Plus I work a home based business and my husband is gone a lot for work. It is definately a struggle but tried the public schools three different times only to be severely disappointed. The girls are on A Honor rolls and in dance. We also do field trips with other friends that homeschool. What state are you located?

Feel free to respond for more information.

www.vilasonline.org

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I don't home school, so I have no real advice. I just wanted to say that I admire anyone who does or tries. I couldn't imagine juggling it all. I found a web sit that helps balancing the family, home and homeschooling hope it helps...

http://homeschooling.about.com/od/parents/Balancing_Homes...

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A.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Routine, Routine, Routine. It is normal to have the first year of homeschooling be your hardest. Every homeschooling parent experiences that. It is also normal to go through periods of great success and then periods of not-so-great. But find the routine that best fits you and stick to it like your life depends on it so you can minimize those periods of not-so-great and maximize the benefits of home schooling.

Understand, too, that what you have taken on is a full time job in addition to being a mom. So of course it takes all day to do the schoolwork and the housework and of course you don't have time for anything else but just that. Unfortunately that is the price of homeschooling. And though you may want to explore other curriculum ANY curriculum you use is going to require that you spend time preparing for your kids. That is also part of the price you pay for homeschooling.

You have to become a master at routine in the homemaking side too. Again, routine, routine, routine. I took classes and read books on housecleaning more efficiently. One of the benefits of home schooling is that you can teach your children work in a very profound way and teach them to work together and create unity but it HAS to be consistent. And you have to teach your kids to take on more responsibility. THAT takes huge amounts of teaching--I love the motto "A lazy mom does it herself." Create your weekly and monthly house routines and stick to them no matter what.

During my first year of homeschooling we did school for 4 days a week and I spent the fifth day preparing for the coming week. It meant longer school days for the four days and it meant that I had to exercise extreme discipline to really utilize that fifth day but it worked and eventually I learned how to fine tooth the curriculum and to prep for school much faster. Now I do my prep while my children work independently so we do five days of school again.

As much as you can I would try to combine your 8 year old's and 9 year old's curriculums. There are many things that will connect easily and other parts are going to have to take huge amounts of creativity. Just be cautious that you don't slow the 9 year old down. Everything you do for your 8 year old will be excellent review for the 9 year old but make sure he is challenged at the level he should be at. In essence both can get the curriculum for each other.

As for the other two kids I really don't know. My kids are closer together in age so I've never dealt with having a baby at the same time as home schooling. I know some moms that only home school one child at a time or for a specific school year. Another idea is to enroll your children in sports, arts and music classes that will free up your time to home school the other children. It seems to work very well for the children but then again it also expands your role as teacher which can be difficult as a mother. Good luck.

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C.G.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi W., my name is C. and I am also a homeschooling mom. I have 4 daughters; 14, 12, 6, and 4. I fell your frustration. Can you do it all? Well I say it takes time. Especially when you have an infant. When my 4 year old was smaller i would hold her or let her and my 6 year old play together while I helped the older ones with school work or cleaned up the room, did laundry etc.. Now that the youngest are older they can play by themselves for quite a while as I do othere things around the house. I used to never really clean up my house or anything until the afternoon when school was done. the other thing I do not do is homework. My older kids do computer school. and if I see them getting frustrated or having a hard time with something I let them take a break. The great part about homeschooling is you are free to do whatever, whenever. I don't force my kids to get up early I let them sleep in usually to 8:00. By doing this they are more refreshed, they can get their work done in about 3 or 4 hours and all is well. If I don' feel well or have errands to run we take a day off. If I feel we need a break I take a day off. I don't force my kids into anything and now that the older two are getting closer to junior high/high school they know how to learn by teaching themselves. Your oldest son can learn so much from reading books if thats what he loves. Thomas Jefferon type schooling does not use any conventional system, you just read books about each area. By reading/writing/music/manipulitives. that's it. The other thing is let them know the faster you get it done the faster you can play or whatever. Have the kids help you around the house, the boys too. That is something else homeschooling is about. It's not just about education of curriculums, it's about education of being a good man, good women, good mom, good dad, how to run a household and to give them the right type of foundation they need to be the best they can be. And that is something they will never be able to get from school. Maybe you should try a homeschool group or different curriculum. I guess everyone has a different reason they homeschool, so what truly is yours and then go from your instincs.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

We do videos and that makes it much easier. I'm still in control, but have some freedom. I am still in the room or nearby during school. Our four year old is pretty much independent. Also, there are a lot of magazines that have great ideas. Since it's our first year, I haven't tried too many things, but they have been recommended to me by more experienced moms. I admire your wanting to stick to this. We do it since my husband travels a lot, sometimes for extended periods of time. That way, our family can be together. I can't picture myself doing it if enrolling in school were an option. I also plan to go to the CHEC conference next year. I would do it this year, but I'll be 8 1/2 months pregnant, and don't want to be on my feet that much at that stage. I hear it's quite helpful. Most the curriculums have representatives there that you can ask questions and get discounts from. Their website is www.chec.org GL

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K.W.

answers from Casper on

Hi W.,
It sounds like you are already doing a great job with your kids, Homeschooling is not easy and the first year or two is the toughest I think. You and your kids are both spending a lot of time together and cooped-up to boot! Yikes! My suggestion would be this, try to decide what is the most important to you in your day to day life, i.e. can you live with a dirty bathroom, living room, beds not made? What can you live with at this stage of transition? Hard I know I had to ask myself that very thing. No I don't always like the way my house looks, but I am raising very curious kids with big imaginations the result is a very blown up house. I have tried to prioritize in my own mind what I can and can not live with.
As to the harmony of the household, well once again your kids are trying to define themselves from other people around them so naturally YOU and their brothers and sisters will be the ones they use to bump up against to help them define themselves. So....make a list of what you will and will not allow....My hands are not for hitting, my feet are not for kicking, my words are not for hurting.... Have you considered rewarding good behavior with your sticker charts such as a trip to McDonalds or to get an icecream cone something to keep them motivated to behave? Dose your town have a recenter or something where you could take the kids to run and burn off some energy? Or how about a bolling ally or skating rink, roller rink? Do you have another homeschool mommy that you can take turns having play dates at each other's house where you and your kids can get away from your four walls once in a while? How about getting a sled could you play with your kids in the snow for a half hour while the baby is napping? My kids enjoy playing card games and memory inside.
Book learning is hard no doubt about it One thing that I have done is to get a timer out and set it for 20-30 min. if the kids got their work done before the timer goes off they get the extra min. added on to a break. Also if they can prove to me that they can figure out the answers and get them correct I will move on doing 100 math problems that are all the same would bore me too if they can work 25 problems and get them correct I would call it good and revisit only if they start to slip with it later on. If they can recite their answers to you orally at random then I would say that they have learned something. Writing is important, but take a look at things and determine if it's realistic, dose your 9 year old or 8 year old have the focus to handle six pages in literature writing?
As to your smaller ones I guess I would not try to teach them and your big ones at the same time. Maybe create your day into blocks of time... 8:00-9:00am work with your oldest.9:00-9:45am work with your four year old, 10:00-11:00am work with your eight year old... an hour may be too much time to block at a time,but the general idea is that everyone gets their time at some point with you in the day.
A book that you might enjoy reading called 'Parenting From The Heart' by Marilyn Boyer, might be of great help to give you some additional creative ideas.
All the very best to you and your family
Sincerely,K. W. mother of three

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C.C.

answers from Cheyenne on

I am studying to be a teacher and would like to offer a bit of information that may help you. I'll attach a few websites at the end that may help you too. First of all there are 5 major types of teaching.Maybe the style that you could use is exsistenialism. www.sudval.com is a good example of this type of teaching. It allows children top learn at their own pace. I agree that testing is important. BUT having kids learn is the most important.
Some things can be learned through day to day activities. Division can be learned by using orange slices. Dividing in half and sections to break it down. Also you said your 9 y/o like to write his oon books. Great! He can figure out if he has x amountof words and x amount of pages how many goes on each page to be equal. TADA! Math. Language arts is writing and grammar in his stories. Check out that website and see if it doesn't give you some ideas. Also you can do a search on google or whatever for teaching philosophies. Lots of ideas are presented for each type. You can pick and choose and put together something that works for you.
I am impressed you are teaching your kids at home. More power to you. You area stronger woman than I.
Good luck with everything. If there is anymore I can do please let me know.
C.

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V.J.

answers from Billings on

This might feel a little weird, but I have taught multiple grades in five different rural schools in Wyoming, W., and I think you could benefit from a "home visit" from a teacher who might be able to suggest some routines, curriculum modifications, and activities that would relieve some of your obvious stress!

I also think you would benefit from contacting a home schooling group in your area. If you are in Sheridan, I saw an ad for one in the Country Bounty this month.

And PLEASE don't beat yourself up for being frustrated with something most TEACHERS would not even attempt to do! If you think you'd be interested and you are in the Sheridan area, just contact me through this site or directly at ____@____.com in there! You've made a very worthwhile sacrifice for your kids and it will reap huge benefits for their future!

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L.H.

answers from Denver on

I can't offer any advice on homeschooling, but a Waldorf school might be a nice alternative for your 9 year old boy. The philosophy is geared toward kids with creative minds. It's active learning with less emphasis on book learning.

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G.E.

answers from Denver on

Dear W.,

I think the first thing I would do is to give up a few things. When my kids were younger, we gave up on having a clean house and homemade dinners every night. Anything I could find that helped me save time, I went for! This gave me more time with my kids, my husband, and my mother-in-law who was living with us at the time and also required a lot of care.

The next thing I would do is to find another homeschooling program that fits your son's needs. There are lots of different options out there. When my son was being homeschooled, we used different programs for each subject. He got the info he needed in the way that helped him learn the best, for that particular subject. One for math, one for LA, one for History, etc.

For your son, for example, I would look for a Literature program that puts more emphasis on the writing aspect of Language Arts. Send him down an avenue you already know he likes, and he'll pick up the rest of the stuff he needs on the way.

Homeschooling is not the easiest option, but I think it is one of the best. Congratulations to you for picking that route.

Good Luck!

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C.M.

answers from Pocatello on

Hey W.,

I am being homeschooled too. my mom makes it fun by doing different things to get my attenion. for your oldest boy i suggest having him listin to the subject then write a short [and i mean short] "book" about it. for the oldest girl i suggest maybe letting her do expeiriments and let her use her imagination

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S.L.

answers from Pocatello on

I have been homeschooling my son for three years now. Things went well with a structured curriculum for about a year and then it seemed not to work after that. My son was bored and we didn't have the flexability that we needed. I started doing things my own way and that has been a lot better. As for testing you can have your kids tested at regular schools with the other kids. You just need to find out when the testing is being done and sign your kids up. As long as they are learning what they need to know they will do fine and you will have more flexability with teaching. Stephanie

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J.M.

answers from Provo on

I am a mom who has been homeschooling for three years now. I have children between the ages of 2 and 12, plus one coming in June. My husband is very supportive and puts as much time as possible into helping our children in their education.

We have been using many ideas from the Thomas Jefferson Education (TJEd) method in our homeschool, but also other ideas. We try different things.

Our homeschool ideology de-emphasizes curriculum as a method for producing competitive employees who work away from the home supporting a "global economy." We want to teach our children how to be good sons and daughters; how to love their family more than friends or video games. You cannot learn those things from schooling.

If all you want to do is prepare your children for the workplace, then public school is a good option for you. The truth is that all children are autodidacts. A literate and inspired child can learn in the space of three to six months the very same things that apparently require twelve years to learn in a factory-style school institution. Teachers do have experience in raising up good employees. I do respect and admire teachers and all the trouble they do have to deal with. They do have a difficult job.

Why do you feel you need to test your children? They have a lifetime to learn, and if they love learning, then they will do it for the rest of their lives. You do not need to force them to "keep up" with the neighbor kids.

Your children are individuals and have different ways of learning. They also have different interests. Maybe you need to define for yourself why you are homeschooling and what your goals are for you and for your family. We let our children tell us what they are interested in and help them find the sources to learn those things.

Our seven-year-old has been reading for only about a year, but he went from no reading to reading books for ages 10+ in nine months. No one "taught" him how to read. He had a little coaching on occasion, and lots of example from his parents who read to him often. Reading is an effort that he invests himself in because he has a passion for it. He has also been learning math. It has taken him about three weeks to learn three-digit addition and subtraction.

Forcing your children to learn will only bring grief to all parties involved, and your children will grow to hate learning and to regard it as a form of torture that can only be eased by spending "off hours" in various types of entertainment. This type of "schooling" may also wear you down and make you feel like a failure.

We began by simply setting the example. My husband and I take time to improve ourselves by reading, working on hobbies, showing our children how to do things at home (such as cooking, cleaning, learning new skills, playing an instrument, etc.). By watching us, they are inspired to learn. The TJEd motto is "Inspire, not Require." Children do learn and they love to learn when they see how much their parents love learning, and when they are included. Our children are constantly praised by friends and neighbors for being intelligent and responsible children. They act respectfully and kindly towards others; that is why we are home educating.

We hope that our children can recognize and follow their life's calling -- something that is so often missed when children are placed into a forced-learning environment. They will be happy adults, knowing what their path is and that they are doing what they were meant to do with their lives. They will also continue to learn and to grow always, because they will have learned to love learning. We don't mind if they don't become rich and competitive adults; we want them to be happy.

I hope that what I have said helps you to feel more at ease with having your children at home. Home is the best place for children. Don't give up, and don't be afraid to go against the popular culture if it means raising good children who will become future leaders. Leaders need character more than anything else.

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A.H.

answers from Pueblo on

Hi W.,

I homeschool my son and have done so for 5 years now, since kindergaten. I know it can be very overwhelming at times with just one. Especially when he does not want to do the work. I don't know which program or curriculum you are using, but we started out with and have stayed with COVA (Colorado Virtual Academy). They use the K12 Curriculum, which is one of mastery. The child does not move on until they master the lesson with 80%. So they move at their own pace. We do state testing at the end of every year to make sure we are on track.

They provide several different activities within the lessons so that we can find what works best for our child. That way, neither of us feels overwhelmed by trying to do everything in a lesson. Each lesson gives us objectives for the lesson at the beginning. I can look at the objectives and, knowing where my son is in the class, I pick the activity/activities that I know will help him meet the lesson objectives. There are times that I can see that he knows the objectives, so I just have him do the assessment for the lesson and we move on.

We are assigned a teacher whom we conference with regularly. She is a great help in times of struggle. The school also provides ongoing eluminate sessions online with teachers to help with struggles in math, reading, writing, etc. They also have sessions to help with schooling multiple children and organizing things.

The school is partnered with a public school in Adams County, so they get funding to provide computers for those who need them or reimburse for ISP. We do not do a lot of work online, mostly lessons with graphics in them. They compliment the workbooks that the school provides. They provide most of our supplies at no cost to us. I buy notebooks and pencils, markers and such.

I looked at several other methods, and even tried some in the early stages, but when I found COVA, nothing else even compared. One of the best things about it is that we are never alone in our homeschooling.

If you would like you could check it out at www.covcs.org.

God Bless and all the best to you.

A.

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S.M.

answers from Denver on

There is a program called Accelerated Christian Education. ACE. Their program is really amazing and the work books are really great, good foundation and easy to homeschool with.

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F.F.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I have been homeschooling for 6 years and my children are 11th, 7th, and 4th grade. I also have three year old twins who will be 4 in August so I will start doing some preschool with them next year. We started with a public on line school and have changed curriculum over the years. We are now using
a variety of curriculums and the two younger ones go to a charter school one day a week for home schoolers. My oldest goes to the high school for one AP class that will give her college credit and to do sports. She will be starting college this fall.
The biggest thing I have learned is the more time I spend organizing and planning the better school goes and the more time I have to keep up on the household. The kids all have a morning job and to get themselves ready by 8. They all have schedules to follow that I set up to work well together along with what I have to do with my three year olds. When they are doing something I need to do with them I make sure I have an activity planned to keep my twins busy. A few times I have had to make one of my kids stop doing school because they were causing problems and made them do housework and help me then they had to finish school when dad got home instead of play time. That worked well and happened very few times. Saving work that wasn't completed for homework didn't work for us. They are usually really motivated to stay on task so they can have some free time later in the day.
I also used to have long days which was too h*** o* everyone and we didn't make anymore academic progress than we do right now. My fourth grader is done by 1, the seventh grader by 2, and the oldest finishes hers usually in 4 hours plus she has her HS class and homework at night for that. I brake up the morning by having one practice her violin for an hour and my boy get's to play his drums for thirty minutes. We take an hour for lunch so that thirty minutes of that time is everyone helping do a house pickup and fix lunch. My twins don't always nap, but have learned they have to stay in bed for a rest time and my son who is done at 1 has a rest and reading time. The house is quiet for at least an hour for me to catch up or rest. Before they are free to play I pick one or two jobs for them to do around the house. They still get in plenty of free time and I am not going crazy.
Everyone helps with cleaning up dinner dishes and getting the house ready for the next day. My day is full and quite busy, but manageable. It takes a lot of trial and error to find what works. Consistency and good organization and planning I believe are the keys. It takes some time, especially at the beginning of each school year, but the kids fall into the schedule and rise to the expectations as long as they are not to high. My kids all love being homeschooled and test well on the ITBS and CSAP. My oldest tested in the top 25% for the SAT. This is after many mistakes and readjustments over the years. Thankfully kids are forgiving and resiliant when you discover what has been going wrong!
The greatest thing that helped me when I had twin toddlers and was really struggling was a book called Toddlerwise. It gave me great advice for putting babies and toddlers on schedules and creating more time and peace in the house. Invaluable for homeschooling older kids! I also would do very little structured school with the four year old. Setting up reading time and game times are very educational for this age. The older children can practice oral reading skills while reading to the preschoolers and you can get a load of laundry folded or feed the baby while you over see it. Hope these are helpful suggestions. It is a challlenge, but so worth it!

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H.B.

answers from Missoula on

Dear W.,
I have been "homeschooling" for several years. My oldest is 26 now, my youngest is 8.

I know that there are parents out there that are successful with schedules and routines and have "brain children". I have opted for a more unscheduled school and overall have found my children are exceptional despite me! At times, I feel like a failure so I try to teach my children better reading and writing skills, math or history.

My older children have all taken the GED when they were about 16, then on to the ACT- three have gone to college, the fourth is on his way this summer. (My sixth is taking her GED in a week or so.)

Are there gaps? Yes! But I consider the tradeoff. I don't like what I am seeing come out of our local schools. So I am willing to have them home and work out the bugs as they come. I don't know if you will ever really feel satisfied, no matter how much effort you put forth!

We study from the Scriptures, have morning prayer and say the "Pledge of Allegiance" - those are things that help my day go better- especially if we sing a Hymn or a Primary Song too. It all helps to "set the stage" for learning.

Some of my children are over achievers and have really hit the books, others of mine are dyslectic, one with left eye dominance while being right handed- all of which were difficult in the early years of learning. Another daughter is ambidextrous. It is so interesting how different her learning style is. My husband and I have had to make all kinds of adjustments due to my children's learning styles, but I am so glad that they are home because we can accommodate their needs. What I have found is that my children that struggle in an area/s excel in others.

It sounds like testing is a large concern. I would consult with the Homeschool groups in your area, try to get your children acclimated to the classroom before they go in, provide for your children the kind of questions that will prepare them for the tests they will have and then pray with them and for them.

The stress you are experiencing can really make it difficult. One of my best friends, that homeschooled very successfully said, "You can't play school at home, you will wear yourself out!" That one statement has helped me through so much! One example: we use opportunities for baking for a math lesson and planning as well as a lesson in creativity. Today we ground the wheat, to make bread- there are all kinds of lessons just in your day to day life that will help you teach your children. Another example: We also listened to the young Venezuelan conductor that was highlighted on 60 minutes- he is brilliant! After listening to the program, we got on "youtube" and continued listening to the pieces he had conducted- it was wonderful! What a great cultural experience.

Structure itself can be ok, but don't get lost- life is a four letter work and it is very dynamic. You have to learn to go with the flow a lot of the time, or you will become burned out and so will your children!

I know it can be a conflict to keep to the schedule and live your life. Do the best you can, love your children and play with them too! AND don't beat yourself up! You will find that there will be many people that will love your children and your family. They will see the palpable difference in your children and enjoy them because of how you are raising them!

Educational websites: For Math www.Superkids.com
Writing phonics/spelling:
http://www.tampareads.com/wrksheet/start.htm
For fun http://www.kidsites.com/sites-edu/dinosaurs.htm

With an understanding heart!

H. B. MOM (mother of many-9)

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L.V.

answers from Salt Lake City on

First of all lets get rid of the idea that our houses are clean. When your kids are home all day it may start out clean or even somewhat clean but it never stays that way. (unless you send them on a field trip) I also homeschool our two kids who are 11 and 8. It is the best thing we have ever done for them. We have our challenging days as well but what parent doesn't. wether your in public school or not. At least with homeschooling you can work at their pace. My kids don't always get a concept the first time or even the tenth time but at least I know I am helping them instead of pushing them through a system that doesn't care if they get it or not. We have a great support system with our school. I can call our teacher any time and any day to get help. My son does his L.A. and math on line and has a teacher he is accountable to. I find this helps us both so we stay on top of things. When he throws a fit about something I simply say call your teacher and talk to him. These teachers actually like to teach and love the interaction with the kids because it's about teaching and not policing the other garbage that goes on in a traditional class room. This has helped our children to be able to focus on there school work and seperate it from socializtion. We have our kids in different activities throu the week so they are not missing out on friends. This also helps break up any little fights that may occure with each other because lets face it who wants to be with there sibling 24/7 with no breaks.
Good Luck and remember you ar doing the right thing for your family, it's gets easier with time and experience.

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

W.,
First of all, hang in there! You definitely have your plate full! I too have struggled with some of the same things homeschooling...so I am just going to give you some ideas that have worked for us.

I, also, have boys(5 of them) and let's just face it...most young boys don't like book work much. So...this is what I have done...I break up our day with activity a lot! i.e. we do 1/2 hour of math, then go exercise, do 1/2 hour of handwriting/creative writing, then fold clothes, (see...hardly ever more than 1hr. of passive activity-then something active) Also, I mix up my days. 3 days/wk. I concentrate on reading, writing, and arithemetic. The other days I do minimal time on the 3R's and we explore other areas that they are interested in...ie rockets, hot air balloons, etc. We also do lots of reading...I alternate books-first, a classic or biography...then a novel of their choice. As far as scheduling for my tasks I think Titus2.com has a great resource called Managers of the HOME-excellent system! It has served our family quite well!

Hope some of this helps!

J.
MyKiddosCome1st.com

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J.S.

answers from Provo on

I agree the hardest year is the first. You are trying to get the right curriculum to fit your needs and the kids needs. I found a homeschool study program called A.C.E. it is christian based, so anytime they learned about their Priests, I crossed those sections out and skipped them. My daughter was starting 2nd grade and by the end of the year had advanced to nearly finishing 3rd grade. At the time I had 3 kids. I gave my oldest a specific amount of time she was allowed to have mom help her and my second daughter was given things to color and play with that were close by. My youngest was less than 1, so I tried to have "class" time during his morning nap. I found that because the program was such a do-it-yourself. That my daughter was able to keep herself on task. She had a list of everything she had to do for the week. And if she wants to do only math one day and get it over with for the week than that is what she does. I also allowed her to get it done sooner and she would have Friday off. This was my quick clean the house, run the errands day! But she had to be finished by lunch. She finally went back to school because she wanted to be with friends. She doesn't really apply herself, but she gets everything done she is supposed to and plays or reads the rest of the day. With my number 4 having major medical issues, I'm glad I'm not homeschooling as they would be taking the year off! But at the time my kids were 7,4, & 1. Now they are 11, 7, 4, 1. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Great Falls on

Hi,
I just thought I'd respond because I've been and still am in a similar situation. I homeschool and have 4 children under 11. My suggestion is that you entertain the option of unit study for history and/or science. All kids can be involved at some level and will love encouraging one another. Have a great year!

J.

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J.F.

answers from Colorado Springs on

W.:

Since your husband does not want to Unschool, consider Eclectic Homeschooling, where you don't use a set curriculum, but find what is best for each child. That way, you can pick and choose.

You may want to get in contact with one of the homeschool support groups in town too.

My family is an unschooling family and it works for us. I don't use virtual public or private schools. I do things my own way. My children are 13, 11, and 8 and read, write, explore, and decide at their own pace what they want to learn.

Happy Homeschooling!

JO ANN

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D.G.

answers from Colorado Springs on

W., i was homeschooled for several years. my family didn't use a preset curriculum, rather we simply got the books from the school and other school books that we were interested in. i was a little older than your son when i homeschooled, but the tactic i used to keep things interesting may work for him as well. i had a set of assignments or reading goals for either the day or the week and i was able to chose which assignments i did when. this could work by day or week. your son can still get the assignments done, but would have a little more freedom to do the assignments in the order he might prefer to keep him interested. as for keeping the work interesting and fun, ask your son for suggestions. maybe he has some ideas for projects that related to what he learning. try to draw on what he likes. if he likes to write, but isn't that into literature bookwork, invite him to rewrite the ending of a story he reads or draw a picture. when kids start homeschooling they often expect to have all this freedom and free time and when they realize they still have to do schoolwork and stick to a schedule it can be a hard reality to face, especially for younger kids. letting him have as much freedom and creativity in his work as possible while still getting all the work done is key. i haven't looked into this here, but you may try to connect with a homeschool group here in the springs area. there are probably sereval that can offer support and new ideas. good luck with everything!

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D.B.

answers from Denver on

have you looked into any waldorf homeschooling ideas? I don't know enough about the philosophy as the kids get older, my son is in preschool still. I do believe the older kids write their own text books... that may interest your oldest son.

I had more to add... but a screaming baby and talkative 4 year old need some attention!

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi W.,

I am just starting to homeschool so unfortunately I can't offer much advice. However, I wanted to mention a group that I belong to that offers a lot of support-PCHE. It is a Christian homeschooling group. You can check out their website if you are interested-www.PCHE.org. I am sure that you could get more help from someone in the group who has been homeschooling longer than I have.

Good luck!
L.

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M.N.

answers from Colorado Springs on

You need to search fro a homeschool group in which you can be involved an interact. Not only will the socializing be good for you and the children, but the wisdom of the more experienced parents will be more naturally shared in a casual environment. Furthermore, you might find a group that co-ops teaching of homeschool classes a few days a weeks or takes turns with the younger kids. You never know what you will find until you start looking.
What do you have available at your church? If your church does not support your homeschool efforts seek one that does.
My words may not be the answer but I hope they will casue you to search for more in your area because there are answers arounds you; I used to homeschool, so I know that what you need is available and there are many around you who will gladly walk with you in your mutual journies

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J.C.

answers from Provo on

I don't know much about homeschooling, but which program are yo using. I know here in Utah there is an internet one called "K12". Many parents have been very happy with it, because each week you have to check in with a live teacher to report. This takes the stress off of you, but encourages the kids. Just a suggestion!

J. C.

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M.M.

answers from Missoula on

Hi W.,

I did homeschool with my 3 children, off and on with public school. I know there can be alot of days when things seem totally out of control and crazy. I want to offer you encouragment and support, I think you are very wise.

By the way, my 3 children each started college at the age of 15. My oldest daughter got a masters degree and then went to law school, and is now a prosecutor.

My son is now in graduate school to earn a masters degree in math. (He wouldn't allow me to teach him math.)

My youngest graduated from college last year and is now employeed. All 3 graduated with "honors".

The easiest and briefest advice I can give you now is, as much as possible, allow your older children to make their own decisions about what they want to "learn". It may take awhile before they get interested in something specific, be patient. When they do find something, then do your best to find all the info and resourses about that topic. They will be so motivated to learn they will want to study day and night.

If you plan to "test" them throughout the year, show them the test and inform them about it. If they fail the test, that's OK, allow them to fail.

Parents may worry (it's normal), how will my kids go to college and succeed in the "real world" if they don't have a rigerous curriculum when they are young. I told my kids, if you want to earn a college degree, you play by "their", the university's rules. If you don't like a teacher or a class, you can usually drop the class, take it later, find another teacher, etc, to fulfill the graduation requirements. This empowers them to set their own goals, and know that their decisions are valid.

A few times, my kids decided to go back to public school, I supported their decision, and I was off the hook for any wineing about getting up early, they had made the decision. They went back into the classroom and were top students in their grades.

For kids, anything that smells like "busy work" or unnecessary repetition, is actually an insult, unless they get a kick out of doing something specific repititiously.

Your older ones can begin to "teach" your younger ones, if their personalities are compatable, and the younger ones are treated with respect.

Hang in there, you're doing fine, it IS worth it!

M. M.

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J.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

HI W.! I have a darling friend who home-schooled her children for almost 13 years. They are wonderful, great kids and she was part of a home-schooling group that took turns teaching different subjects to each others children in subjects they were strong in. It also cut down on preparation. They even took field trips together and when her children finally entered public school at the oder ages they transitioned very well. I know she went to an annual convention for homeschooling, so maybe you check into that, too. Have you checked into support groups in your area for other home-schooling families? Maybe you can network like you do here on mamasource....Good luck, you're incredible to be able to do this!

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W.S.

answers from Boise on

Reading your note made me feel so much better. I am not the only one!!! I have a sixth grader who is a generally good student, a second grader who is about a year delayed in reading and requires a lot of attention, but thankfully she's not much of a complainer, I watch my 2 year old niece everyday until around one, and I have a 2 month old daughter. This second semester has been one of the hardest yet rewarding times in my life. We have been homeschooling pretty much since my oldest was in 1st grade. I'm not an expert on how to manage anything, but I read a lot and have come to a few conclusions myself. I was also homeschooled in high school with my 3 siblings. A few thoughts about the house. Kids are able to do a lot more than we give them credit for. It sounds like yours have chores, have you asked them if there are any other chores they wouldn't mind doing.I did and it turns out my 8 year old loves to clean windows and mirrors and mop the floors and because she likes it she does a pretty decent job. I just have to be prepared to live with the results. Also, because you are homeschooling you are actually at home! The place is going to look lived in! I talked to my mom about this remembering the clean but somewhat cluttered home we always had, and she said that she just had to realize that even though the house wasn't exactly spotless, it also wasn't a pigsty and that having us all home and making sure we were educated was much more important. Think of it as a period of life. I call it the messy but fun period. I really think stay at home moms sometimes put too much pressure on themselves and are way too self deprecating in this area. We don't leave a clean house in the morning and come home to a clean one in the evening. Not that we can't try, it's just not as important as we make it. I remind myself constantly, I live in a home not a museum. It can be messy and it can also be clean but it is a home. About your 4 year old. It sounds like you are doing a good job of starting her ed. If she feels like she needs a little more attention, than she does. Until this year she only had to share you during the day with one sibling. Can you set a time in the evening maybe where you can do someting with her, or even the afternoon, or just tell her "On Thursday I am going to bake some cookies and I thought you could help me." Give her something to look forward to. Since we are all together I try to make time several times a month were I am only with one of the older girls. Usually when I run errands. I will alternate taking them with me and try to do something a little special like get an ice cream or slushy, or shop at the thrift store(it's cheap and like a treasure hunt), or let them rent a movie or go to the dollar show. We do have baby sister with us now, but so far they don't seem to mind. I don't know what curriculum you are using, but if you feel chained to it than it's probably not the best choice for you. If you are with a charter and have to turn in your work than there's not a whole lot you can do this year. If you're not, have you thought about combining some of the subjects, like history and science between both kids. I totally recommend reading "The Well Trained Mind" It is a model of a Classical education. I don't follow it to a T, but I do follow their math and science ideas. They reccomend that you do a four year loop of each. History starts at the beginning and by year 4 you are in current times. We are in year 2 the middle ages and we are loving it. We use the books they reccomend "The Story of the World curriculumn", but you could use any and just pick put the chunks that apply to your year. Science works like this: yr1 biology, yr2 Astronomy and earth science, Yr3 Chemistry and yr4 Physics. You just repeat the whole thing after year 4 and your kids will go through each subject 2-3 times. I try to incorporate some field trips that revolve around what we are studying and of course experiments and projects. Even though my kids are 4 years apart in grades it seems to be working nicely. I expect a lot more from my sixh grader of course. I also remember that my just younger sister and I also did the same history and science all though high school and it worked nicely. If you do need to be in a charter, have you looked into IDEA? That's the one we use. We can use any curriculum we want, even religous, although they won't puchase materials that are not on their approved list. We have very minimal work to turn in and we do get tested.Anyway, sorry about the novel, I hope something I said helps. Just remind yourself, I am making the best choice for MY family, not the easiest, and if I am trying my hardest than I am doing a darn good job. And don't let anyone tell you different!!

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