Help Needed Re: 'Close Talker' !

She is associating touch with connecting to others. It is too bad that it makes people feel uncomfortable but it does. DO NOT stop hugging and kissing on her because she will feel unloved and think she did something wrong. Instead explain to her that people she doesn't know needs a small circle around them. Draw on the sidewalk with chalk and have her stand in the circle you drew. Show her how not to cross that line unless invited too. Have her be outside the circle while you are in it. This is personal space. Also teach her to shake hands instead of hug. Tell her that hugging grandpas and grandmas and other family members is ok. It is also ok to hug others who would like hugs. You can tell who likes them by holding out your arms for a hug and if they step into it, they like hugs... if they stop or step back, they don't want to be hugged and that is ok. As an adult, I find it hard to hug someone I don't know pretty well... while others seem to be able to hug anyone who they visit with and I think it is an openness that is pretty positive so I try to keep myself open to hugs a bit more. It is too bad more people can't be like your daughter.

Hi Susan - my dtr too was very excited to hang with the girls and be "close". She wanted to hug every girl she saw and she didn't quite understand that some peers do not like this type of closeness. Role playing can help and we did this mostly with family. We mainly had to encourage her to ASK her peers if she could hold their hand or hug them. She really had a hard time if they turned her down but we had to also remind her that they DO have a CHOICE and she does too. Honestly, some girls were just plain mean to her and really said no just to make her feel bad. Welcome to the world of girlfriends. My dtr is now 6 and I can say that she seems to have adjusted well but even at age 5 - I saw issues at times with her peers. I struggled with seeing this b/c you can do all the role playing and warning of behaviors that you want and the peer will still say or do something you couldn't have imagined. I guess it's all a learning process. I have noticed tho with girls - they just seem a bit more sassy - so, make sure your dtr understands that just being kind is most important.
Also, you do not have to change the way you act with her. She finds comfort from you and you can let her know that she is always safe to hug or kiss you.

First off, you do contribute to her affectionate ways! And that's AMAZING! There are so many unfourtunate children who don't have that in their own homes. You should try to find a way to explain that you and her are related (explain what it means so that she will understand)...... And that because you and ....grandma......dad......brother are all related and that's why it's okay to hug and be more affectionate. And that it might make someone we don't know that well a little uncomfortable.....I don't know your situation but maybe if there is an example of a time she felt uncomfortable..... Or a movie......I know she's only three .....but they are smarter than we think.....If you try my way... Explain it all in a child like way... Right now we are teaching our almost three year old Stranger Danger....it will take awhile but little reminders and hints leading by example he WILL eventually get it....and so will your little one... Show her who are appropriate people to be family affectionate with.

Hope I've helped in some way.

:)

i dont know for sure about what to do about it; i would think that she will get the idea when other kids start backing away from her, and then just be there to help her understand or something you know??

but above all, do NOT worry about being close to her and snuggling her. i would much rather you do this, than to start backing away from her and have her not understand why, you know? you are definatly being sensitive and nurturing and loving to her, and dont stop that!! :)

just have patience. shes just being friendly, and she will get the idea of social appropriateness. for now she might get confused, you just explain to her, "____ wasnt comfortable/ready for you to hold her hand yet" that kind of thing. just let her figure it out. :)

My little girl is a bit that way--she truly annoys ME sometimes. But I always bite my tongue when that happens and remind myself that when in better moods, I love her sweet attention. I would say that you shouldn't need to make an issue of this at all. You haven't said that it is creating any real problems. As for the little signs of "rejection" that she may get sometimes from other children, they cut the mom a whole lot more than the 3-yr.-old. She will just take it in stride and, as another mom said, maybe learn from it. One way or another, I am sure she will learn and modify these things to match what she sees and experiences from others. Like someone said, it's a little sad--I do think that some of the closer, more affectionate cultures are really great. But this is how we live as a community and she will conform.

My four year old seems to try to "get in your face" when he talks to someone whose attention he wants to make sure he has. What has worked for me is to explain to him that when he gets that close, I can't see him very well and it makes it hard to listen to him. I have him touch my arm to get my attention, and then I help him remain an arms length away "so I can see him good while he's talking". And I do have to give occasional reminders, sometimes a few times in a row, but then he seems to try hard again to give me the space I need to hear him.