Help! My Daughter Thinks She's Getting a Puppy for Xmas (NOT Happening)

Updated on December 19, 2012
J.H. asks from Carlsbad, CA
30 answers

So I don't know where she came up with the idea but about 2 weeks ago my 5 year old declared "I'm getting a puppy for Christmas!" And I was like "No, we already have a dog and he doesn't want a sister or brother." Well, she won't let it go! She loves dogs and wants a puppy to call her own. She's obsessed with acting like a dog and plays often with our dog like she is one of them. Getting a puppy at this point is not a reality. We have an 11 year old Golden Retriever whom we love very much but he is a bit neurotic and we don't want him "transferring" his neuroses to a puppy. He shakes like a leaf when there is loud noises, he hates riding in cars, he's afraid to walk around the neighborhood... (i could go on). Plus, we are really not ready for a puppy at this point, plus, Santa already got her the Barbie Van she said she so desperately wanted. What to do? Every time she brings it up, I tell her that it's not going to happen but I'm afraid of the big let down on Xmas morning when there is no puppy under our tree! Please help!

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So What Happened?

Wow, thank you all for the helpful (not snarky) comments! And no, she does not always get everything she wants (then I would be raising a little monster). I love the idea of a stuffed animal and a note from Santa! Seems so simple but I couldn't come up with it myself ;)

Featured Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Oh, I do not know if she understands Santa cannot deliver real animals, but his elves make special toy dogs..

look, this one has her name on it..

I wanted a real baby doll, that cried, pooped. I could feed.. all I got was a baby sister. The first night she woke me up with her crying, I told my mom, she could take her back..

9 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Get her a stuffed animal and call it a day! Or Santa could bring her a Build-a-Bear gift card, and she could go make her own puppy there. :)

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

Perhaps Santa could leave a stuffed puppy with a note that says something like "Please take good care of this little guy. He really needs a home and I know you're the best at taking care of puppies. Maybe a real puppy can come another time. Love, Santa" or some such thing.

Good luck!

8 moms found this helpful

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B.

answers from Augusta on

get her a giftcard to a place like build a bear and a note from santa that says he doesn' t like to bring live animals on his sleigh because they might get hurt but she can go to build a bear and make a puppy of her very own.

11 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Um, what's the big deal? Does she ALWAYS get everything she wants for Christmas?
If yes, then you have much bigger problems than a puppy not showing up.
A wish list is just that, a WISH list.
Better start being real with her now momma, NOBODY gets everything they want for Christmas, but hopefully, everyone appreciates what they do receive, as well as the things they already have.

10 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Aaaaw, Hi J., I love your story.

Years ago when my oldest was 6, he was utterly and profoundly convinced he was getting a bunny for Christmas.

Of course, he was NOT getting a bunny for Christmas or a bunny for anything ever.

I pulled out all the stops. Santa doesn't bring real animals. Santa know bunnies belong in the wild. Santa HAS no bunnies this year. It's ILLEGAL to have a bunny in the city...blah blah blah.

His answer was always, Santa brings the good children the things they want and I'm a very good boy. And he WAS a very good boy, sigh.

Anyway, there was minimal noticable disappointment Christmas morning, too many other things to enjoy, so I figured he forgot about it.

Then during the school break I took them to the mall. We were walking past a pet store and he veered off toward the store.

James! Where are you going? Please don't walk away from me like that.

Rooting around in his pockets, he pulls out a $20 bill, holds it up for me to see (Christmas money), and says I'm going to buy the bunny myself!

ARGH!

He was really mad that he would not be allowed to buy his own bunny either. But struggling in the mall with 3 hungry tired cranky kids alone (6, 4, 1), I was less then sympathetic.

I probably said something like, when you're a grown up man with your own house, you can have all the bunnies you want!

It was never mentioned again. And it WAS a major childhood disappointment, poor kid. At 20 yo and a 3rd year college student, he's STILL into bunnies. And I do believe once he's graduated and settled in a house and a job, he will get himself a bunny. But it likely won't be until then that he understands WHY I would not allow him to have a bunny.

Merry Christmas! Don't worry, she'll live not getting another puppy, trust me!

:)

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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

Well we have always made it VERY clear that santa does not bring live animals, extravagant presents (dirt bike) or anything that he knows that the parents would not approve of. Always telling son to revise his list so that it meets the criteria listed above. Never had any problems yet.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

When my kids wanted something like that, I just let them know right away that they wouldn't be getting it.

Right now, tell your daughter, "sorry, honey, but there won't be any dogs for Christmas." Make it really clear that you mean it. And that's it.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Don't be too concerned about a big letdown. If it happens, it happens and learning how to handle disappointments is important. Be sympathetic while encouraging her to focus on something else.

8 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

get her a stuffed dog. put a note on it from "santa", that says, he does not think a real dog is a good idea since mommy and daddy have said no. but that maybe someday when mommy and daddy say yes, then it will be time. or something like that.

6 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i wouldn't over-think this. no need to try so hard to defuse the disappointment. a matter of fact 'no, that's not happening. santa knows we are not going to have another dog in the family right now' is sufficient. if you keep trying to deflect and bob and weave, you're just increasing the psychological drama.
i had a big let-down every christmas morning when there was no pony there despite all my wishing and pleading. and yet christmas managed to rock anyway.
be calm and move on.
khairete
S.

5 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Sacramento on

Get her a FurReal puppy!

4 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Explain that Santa doesn't bring animals, just things that can be made by elves in the workshop.

4 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Can you get get a stuffed/plush puppy? Attach a letter from Santa asking her a special favor of caring for it. There's even toy dogs that poop :-/ Back in the 80's when my daughter wanted a puppy and we lived in an apartment I bought her a toy dog called a Fluppy Puppy. She took such good care of him, it was a great learning experience for her.

I would stop trying to explain to your daughter it's not happening, maybe talk about how we don't always get everything we want. You said she's getting the Barbie van and can remind her of that if she's disappointed once Christmas has come, and that you told her it wasn't going to happen, getting the puppy. We never want our children to be let down, but in the long run it does help them grow and mature.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

What about a stuffed puppy that barks? Like that Hallmark one that comes with a book and barks when you read certain phrases?
Maybe...

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow my kids have had plenty of wishes and wants over the years (ponies, trampolines, etc.) but I am happy to say they have never felt a big "let down" on Christmas morning.
I think (hope?) they have always understood that no one gets everything they want.
Maybe focus on that and your daughter will have happier and more realistic expectations.

4 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I remember wanting a puppy as a new teenager. No way my parents were getting one with 5 kids.
They got me a big stuffed dog that I named GiGi.
L.

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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

It might help to explain why a puppy would be bad for your current dog.

Santa doesn't deliver live animals to our house, either.

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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

How about a fur-real pet?

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

There are actually stuffed dogs that bark and walk, etc. Get her one of those.

But truly I wouldn't worry. She will be so elated at the other things she has, she will probably forget all about the puppy. Besides, I think she probably knows she's not getting it since you keep telling her that so I doubt she'll be that disappointed not to see one.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

When there is no puppy under the tree, you can simply tell her that Santa knows that right now is a bad time for your family to get a new dog and sometimes we don't get all we wish for. And then redirect her attention to something else. If you want to go an extra mile, get her a toy puppy with a note from Santa.

My DD would like a guinea pig (we had them up til a few years ago). I told her that with our two cats we really have a lot going on and maybe someday we'll get pigs again, but that will not be anytime soon.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Because of comments that my husband has been making about dogs lately (I think he's missing having dogs around since we haven't had a dog since before we got married) my daughters think we're getting one "soon." As in, we're getting one in the next year.

While I like dogs well enough, I'm a cat person. We have two cats. One of them is neurotic and needs kitteh Prozac although she has a tendency to adopt anything smaller than herself. She'll walk around the house dragging My Little Pony's one day and then a stuffed Arielle the Little Mermaid doll the next. She ignores cat toys. [If we ever got a puppy, she would probably adopt it and mother it.]

Anyway. My girls don't believe in Santa. They figured it all out already, but they do pretend. So I'm straight out honest with them that there simply will not be a puppy at Christmas. And Daddy is talking out of his wistfulness of missing his past dogs.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

My son wants his kitty back.. He is allergic, as are my husband and I.. so we found him a new home about a year ago. I found a kitty that acts real so I got him that to help suffice his kitty want.

Good Luck, and Merry Christmas

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

My daughter found a stuffed puppy that walks and barks, sits ect just like a real puppy. I'm not sure where but I would guess Toys R Us.

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

As most have said a stuffed one... my daughter is 8 and really wants a horse among other animals. Santa did get her 2 stuffed horses, one has a code you can play the horse on-line so she will have fun with it.

As to the dog... we pick it up this week, but it was money she (the 8 yr old) earned & we opened our mouths and said "You can get anything you want with 25% of your paycheck, but the rest has to be saved." Didn't know she would pick and buy a puppy though! Believe me it will be interesting - an 8 week old puppy & 5 kids (1-8 years old) in the house, but she did earn the money, we did tell her anything, she picked one that cost under 25% of her check, she can get the start up supplies and we don't like going back on our word with the kids, which she reminded us of... so a puppy it is, but he is cute. Sorry I am still trying to wrap my head around how it all happened... but it will be fine right.

As to playing like a puppy... my kids like to playing that way a lot eventhough we haven't had any out of cage pets. They also like playing like cats, mice, ferrets, snakes, barn animals & birds... we do stop the bird play because they like "flying" from the couch to the chair, the foot stool to the couch or a bed to another bed and someone will end up getting hurt doing that. So I think it is good imaginative play for a kid her age... for us it is really the only time my kids can all play together without fighing over something - we love it.

Hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I haven't read the other responses, but if our kids think they are getting something and they aren't, we tell them we spoke with Santa and he said right now isn't the right time for that gift.

I also think if she is getting the other things she wants, then she may be okay...but if you can tell her you had a phone call with Santa, then maybe she'll be more prepared for it.

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M.F.

answers from Chicago on

Of course you shouldn't get another dog if you don't want one. Your daughter will get over her disappointment.

But when and if you're ready for another dog, your Golden won't necessarily affect the puppy. I have a shy, fearful older dog like yours. When I got a puppy, the puppy actually helped the older dog gain some confidence (she's still shy, but not nearly as bad as she was). The younger dog's temperament is rock-solid, and he was unaffected by the neurotic behavior of the older.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

You could get her a toy puppy or you could make a donation to North Shore Animal League or The Humane Society in her name and tell her that she is helping lots of puppies with the donation.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Get her a toy puppy (some are very interactive and won't break the bank) and attach a note from Santa that tells her that the toy is for her to learn how to take care of a puppy and that when she's ready a real puppy will be under the tree. Gives you some time and she gets a puppy of her own.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

If it were my daughter I would probably tell her that Santa doesn't give live animals as presents.

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