HELP!!! My Daughter Is Too Smart for Her Own Good!

Updated on February 25, 2008
A.J. asks from Dinuba, CA
55 answers

my daughter is 21 mo. old and waaay too smart! she was climbing out of her crib at 14 mo. so she is already in a toddler bed. the biggest problem i have with her is that she gets up in the morning so quietly that i don't hear her and wake up and she gets out of her room and gets into all kinds of trouble. i tried putting a doorknob lock on the inside of her door and that worked for awhile, but then she figured out not only how to open the door still but she can take the lock off!!!
so i need suggestions on how to keep her in her room until i hear her and/or how to make sure i can hear her get up. the only thing i can think of is to put a baby gate up in the hallway so she can't get to the rest of the house. any other suggestions???

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So What Happened?

wow! thanks for all the responses! just for some clarification, my daughter can also pull down the entire pressure-mounted gate, and since she's been climbing since before she could walk, that's why i didn't want to use the baby gate. i've just ordered a set of door alarms that will chime if opened, so we plan on putting those on all the windows and doors she can get out of! i think that will be the best option since we are moving in about 4 weeks and we can easily take them with us, and we don't know what our new house's layout will be. until i get those installed, i will just have to be extra careful =)
PS since my hubby is in the ARMY, we rent our houses, so unless we wanted to buy a door to cut in half and then store the original, that idea is out! (even though it's a great idea!) i think i will see if i can turn her knob around though, at least until the alarms i ordered arrive! not sure how these knobs come off though (we're in housing on base right now and this house is from like the 50s lol) thanks again for all the great input!!!

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M.G.

answers from McAllen on

Do you have a baby monitor in her room this might help you to here her? I used my all the time. Even as she got older when she was sick and in bed so she could call me if she needed anything.

M. G

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M.S.

answers from Corpus Christi on

My husbands cousin had the same problem with her daughter and she ended up buying this alarm that she placed on the door and when she would open the door it would make this beeping sound and that way she would know that she was up..she got the idea from a baby gate that she had that had the alarm on it.

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D.B.

answers from Houston on

I had a niece like that so finally we just put a door handle with lock on her door and put the lock on the outside so we could lock her in her room when she was bad.

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M.W.

answers from Austin on

I had the same issue with my son, who is now 29 months. Every obstacle I put in his path, he saw as a challenge and surmounted it. What he didn't understand was the potential danger of him climbing things and exploring the house when we were not awake and in the same room. At 24 months we began taking a different approach. We established "rules," rewards for following them even when he was tempted not to, and what the consequences of breaking them were. For us, storytime was the best source of rewards and consequences. Rewards were extra stories, consequences were the loss of storeis. It only took a few weeks to teach him to "wake with the sun" and to call us if he needed to get out of bed. We compromised with letting him get up and come to our room when he woke up with the sun. This was a great compromise - giving him freedom and responsibility instead of more restrictive barriers.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.L.

answers from Houston on

My daughter was in a pack in play since she was 10 months old because she flipped out of her crib one night. When she was 15 months old she learned how to make a a cushion out of her pillows and blankets and would flip out of her pack in play. Se would then proceed to unplug the baby monitor so we could not hear her playing. On morning she got up and went into the kitchen and grabed a knife and was walking around with it. We had to turn the lock on her door around to the outside of the door which I had a problem with. I felt like I was locking her up. She would try the door and realize it was locked and then bang on the wall till I got up. At one point her and her daddy were playing and she locked him in her room. Luckly I was just pulled up from work and was able to let him out. But keep in mind if she can get out of a crib and undo the lock a baby gate will more than likely be a piece of cake for her.

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L.S.

answers from Houston on

We put baby gates at our kids' doors. We mounted them high, so they could not climb over. We also kept the baby monitor in the room long after they started walking. My 2 year old will not get up on her own with the siderails on her bed. This did not stop my boys. I had to take the rails off one of the beds since my son climbed over it.
We also have a gait mounted high at the top of our stairs. We also have in the past had one to close off a hallway.
Make sure you take the locks off your internal doors, or keep a key handy. At some point she will be locking you out and herself in.
Try putting toys she is really interested in, in her room. Maybe she will stay in her room longer.
We also have a house alarm that beeps when external doors open. I know when people are going in and out.
My kids are 9, 6 and 2.
Good Luck. Active kids like ours keep us hopping.
L.

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M.W.

answers from Austin on

You sound blessed with an active and resourceful little girl! I am a SAHM mother of a 6 month old with 5 cousins in a tight knit family. We practice conscious parenting and when her 14 month old cousin comes to visit, we put a baby gate in the hall and close it off at night. Our back two rooms are baby proofed, and when he frees himself from the kids' room, he can only get into our room or an empty hall. It is wonderful that your daughter is so smart and that you have come up with the perfect solution to her nighttime jaunts on your own! Congratulations!

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C.W.

answers from Austin on

Hello. I just recently went through the same thing with my then 16 month old son. He started crib climbing and learned how to open doors the same day. So, we converted his crib to a toddler bed and turned the door knob around so that the lock is on the outside. It has worked well. We still have a video monitor in his room so we usually here him when he wakes up and can see him. So even if he wakes at 5:30 or 6:00 on a Sunday morning he can self play in his room for an hour or so and we know he is safe before we crawl out of bed. Our pediatrician said that it's safer to completely baby proof his room and esentially turn his entire room into his crib than having him wonder the house at night. Hope this helps.

A little about me: 29 year old mom to a beatiful 19 month old boy and, trying to conceive again. Married for almost 5 years to my best friend.

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N.R.

answers from Killeen on

This may sound strang but we had the same problem with my step son so we fliped the door knob around so the lock is on the outside of the door instead of in his room. I do understand though, mine is 10 months and he is already crawling out of his crib and onto his changing table....I know it's only going to get worse....Little Smarty.

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T.W.

answers from Houston on

There are locks that go near the top of the door- where only an adult can reach them. It's similar to those saftely locks you'd see in a hotel room- the long piece slides over the "ball" and does not allow the door to open all the way.
I agree with you that it's important to keep her in her room- especially for safety- fortunately, my daughter still cannot grab her round doorknob to open it herself, but i'm dreading the day she figures it out!
Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from Houston on

You can buy a motion detector and put it at her door so if she goes out the door and it will beep in what area you have designated, my husband has a security business and the have installed several for parents hope it helps Tammmy

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

My daughter did the same thing. I ended up puting a baby gate up and she learned to bring her toys over to it and use them as a step to climb over. What finally worked was puting a door alarm over her door. Its just a cheap door alarm that you can get from home depot and when she opens the door it lets off a whistling noise. The best thing is that it goes at the top of the door and she couldn't get to it.I don't know how your house is laid out but if your room is down the hall from hers put the baby gate just on the other side of your door and leave your door open. More than likely she would go straight to your room instead of fighting the baby gate. Good luck. I hope this helps you.

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M.P.

answers from Longview on

I had a boy child like this , I cut a door in half ,hung it ,place the screen latch on the other side where he could not climb and get to it .make this door about 3-4 feet tall ,you can see him play ,he see you and is safe .I keep my grandbabys a lot , I still do this when I need to go to back house are where I cant see them ,I know they are safe with there toys .
to keep from the door not having any thing across the top ,a shower metel peace will fit across it .you also can use a larger board sanded and covered how the door is across the top as a shelf ,great to set cups are snacks untill you get in door .
This has worked for me .

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J.P.

answers from Austin on

My daughter did this exactly!!! I had to grease the door knob under the door lock with vaseline. It is the ONLY WAY for me to keep her in her room at night!! The door knob lock just spins around and around and she gives up on it. Just be very careful when you are in her room and prop the door open with a stuffed animal, because it works on grown-ups too!

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C.F.

answers from Killeen on

Hey A.,
Well, it's nice to know I'm not the only one with a houdini. My son has been up to night time escapades for quite a while. He gets up and has a slumber party with our two dogs and feed them whatever out of the fridge. Many mornings I would wake up and find him crashed out with the dogs somewhere in the house. Every time he gets up he's quiet as a mouse. Now we have a litter of puppies in our kitchen and he goes and carries them to his bed. We also tried the "childproof" doorknob and it lasted two days before he figured it out. Then we attatched a latch on the outside of his door at the very top. Well, needless to say he has figured out if he pulls the door hard enough the latch will give and PRESTO the door will open. I feel like a zombie from sleeping with one eye open in fear that he will get up and harm himself. I even used to put him in bed with me, but he would still wake up and escape without a sound. I wish I could give you some advice, but I'm in the same boat.

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E.L.

answers from Austin on

I wonder if you can install a door sensor, where when her door is opened, a bell or a quiet "alarm" goes off in your room. You know how they have the sensors at convenience stores? I'm sure they'd sell them at Home Depot. Maybe Walmart even. Otherwise, go old school and put bells on the top of her door, so when she opens it, it jingles.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

try putting jingle bells or some other type of bell or a windchime even on the outside of the door so when it opens you can hear it and she can't hold them to keep them quiet.

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S.B.

answers from Killeen on

Haha, I have a three year old boy and he's as restless as they come. He's been into everything in the morningtime, including going OUTSIDE! Luckily our dog started barking. He's been into my waterproof mascara, my eye drops, tampons, hairspray, drinks anything that's been left out from the night before (dangerous), and eats anything he can get his hands on (such as gum or candy out of my purse). And a while back he actually locked himself in his room because of the locking mechanism where it's supposed to be (on the inside of the door) So we picked the lock and me and my husband thought it genius to turn the doorknob around and put the locking mechanism on the outside. So at night when he finally winds down (it takes him like 3 hours to finally konk out) we close his door and lock it from the outside. So if you did that you could probably hear her better in the morning trying to get out. In our case it's easy because his room's right across from ours but yours may not be. But even before we did this he was an escape artist. Hope to be of some help! :)

$hae

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J.L.

answers from Austin on

I have also heard of parents cutting their kids bedroom doors in half and making a dutch door out of it. That way they can see in, hear what is going on, and keep their kids in. Put a lock on the outside of the door.

Just a thought. You can also buy another door down the road when they are school age and don't want the double door.

J.

I know this is late, but I loved this idea!

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

Go to home depot they have n alarm that you easily install on the door and the wall as soon as she opens the dor an alarm goes off. I did this to my son's window because he was sneaking out and I love it. it's not very expensive.

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K.R.

answers from Houston on

Get one of those sensors in her room so as soon as she comes out it will ring in your room. K. R.

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P.P.

answers from Killeen on

I to have a very smart child. He is now 5 and we still have a hard time with him getting up before the rest of the house. Well what i had to do was I hung bells on his door. I know it sounds like a crazy idea but it worked. Now when he opens his door the dogs hear it and most the time I do. The thing with a baby gate is that they learn to climb it and then next thing you know they are climbing over other things and getting hurt. I hope that this helps.

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R.S.

answers from Austin on

I agree that you should possibly try to put some bells at the top of her door, so you can hear them. Or the lock on the outside may help as well. good luck

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T.S.

answers from Longview on

Baby monitor.

I used one for a long time because I am 70% deaf. I did not want to miss my kids getting up and getting into things.

Baby gate--had one of those too. I kept it at the end of the hall. I also spanked their fanny if they climbed over till they were big enough to do so without getting hurt--meaning around 4-5 or so.

My friend put a dutch door on her kids rooms (half door where you can open or close only the top half). Then she locked the bottom half on the outside. That way the kid was locked in but not where they could not see each other or hear each other. And she had nothing in the room they could climb on to get out. Their bed and some small toys were it. Big toys were outside or in the playroom. ;-)

Good luck

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A.G.

answers from San Antonio on

When those kiddos can figure out everything...we just need to outsmart them. I would recommend turning the actual door handle around, putting the lock on the outside. Fool proof...so I would think. Good luck.

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S.O.

answers from Houston on

Where its really great we think our kids are smart we have to be carefull with what we let them think. Just remember she's a child and needs your guidance. If you let her know that she's too smart for her on good she'll keep on, let her know that she has to stay in bed till you come get her, or come let you know however you want to handle it. Please don't think that I'm being ugly, its just that I have one of those who was too smart for their own good,very strong willed, and now I know if I wasn't so impressed with how smart she was, I'd handled her alot different at a younger age. Instead of having to get control later. So just remember you can outsmart her also. Goodluck, and your blessed you have a little leader, they're the ones we have to teach to be good leaders, or else they'll still be leaders but not neccessarily leading the right direction. Hope this inspires you.

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J.R.

answers from Houston on

A.

First I want to say thank you to you and your husband for seving our country!

I would try the baby gate thing first. If that doesn't work they do make alarms you can put on her door so you will be awakened when he does get up and opens her door.

GOOD LUCK!!!

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B.

answers from Houston on

My daughter was the same way and went into a toddler bed at 13 months.

We already had a gate at the top of our stairs so we just make sure that is closed at all times. The best thing we did is that when we did hear her come our or up playing in her room, we didn't go to her. We would call her to come into our room. Now she's older (3) and she just comes straight to our room in the morning and her little sister follows. So on the days that she wakes up way before us she comes and wakes us up and never goes to another room.

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C.M.

answers from Houston on

Sounds like she has got it all figured out mommy! lol I have a 2 and 3 year old who share a room, and wake up quietly too. They are some sneaky little people, I tell you. I call them my little terrorists. I will wake up to my entire house being a wreck. They will get into the soap in the bathroom, the lotion, the catfood, my 3 year old will get on a stool and into the candy, play on the computers or write all over papers and walls, etc. The trick is to just beat them to the punch. Get a really good baby monitor and turn it all the way up. And take note of the time she gets up, and set your alarm to get up before her. If its too early, keep her up extra late at night and she will sleep later. Good luck! It will last for a little while longer, and be hapy you only have one doing this.

C.~ Stay at home mom of 3 kids ages 8, 3and 2.

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M.B.

answers from Killeen on

Have you tried the baby gate across her bedroom door?

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M.N.

answers from Austin on

My daughter did the same thing when she was little. What worked for me was a simple bell hanging on the door (think old-time store bell) and put the baby monitor back into her room. When my daughter would open the door, the ringing would wake me up. It also prevented me from sleeping in too often! :)

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T.S.

answers from Houston on

Try putting up a latch lock on the outside of her door, high enough that only you or your husband can reach it. It's a cheap and easy.

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C.R.

answers from San Antonio on

babymonitor. My daughter is three and we do the same thing for that very reason. Works fine! We also told her to come to us first or call us when she's awake and she's been doing that since about two. GOOD LUCK

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L.D.

answers from Houston on

Put a bell on her door. You should hear that or maybe put a lock on the outside of the door. She will probably start screaming with frustration to get out. That may work too.

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K.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I had the same problem with my son when he was young. I put up a pass through baby gate. You have to step on a big grey peddle to get it to open. The tighter the gate the harder to open. There was no way he could open it and it was way to tall for him to climb over. Try it it might be your life saver.

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L.W.

answers from Austin on

You could try taking the door knob off and turning it around so that the lock is on the outside of her room... and then lock the door. I haven't done that, but I heard it somewhere and thought it was an interesting idea.

-L.

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C.P.

answers from Houston on

Good morning A.! Well, it sounds like you have a little monkey on your hands. I know this sounds mean, but can you install a lock on the outside of the door and lock her in? I think the baby gate is a good idea too. My friend's baby used to climb over the baby gate, so she had to put it up a little higher than normal, but not high enough for her to squeeze under. Have you tried those baby-proof doorknob things? I don't know the name, but they cover the whole doorknob, and you have to squeeze real hard in the right spot to open the door. I even have trouble getting them open sometimes. What about the baby video monitor? We have one for our 10 month old, and we love it, that way you can see when she's not in her bed without going in there. I hope these ideas helped out a little. Good luck!

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R.P.

answers from Houston on

Had an escape artist myself. We went for drastic measures when he was two when at 6:00 a.m. one morning my doorbell rang and there was my next door neighbor holding the hand of my son and asking "are you missing one of these?" Anyway, what we did a lot of our friends ended up copying. My kids could get over the gate easily so we had a half-door like a barn door put in. We could either close the whole door or just the bottom half and it had a latch on the outside in the hallway where they couldn't reach them. Because they are smart, you can't have anything in the room they can climb up on and over the door though.

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K.C.

answers from Austin on

A. J :0

I know you've received a lot of GREAT advice on how to contain your daughter, but I think the real issue it your daughter getting out of bed without your permission, her behavior. There are TONS of books about discipline and many different opinions about it, too. Yes, you have the responsibility to keep her safe and need to take steps in protecting her, but you also have a responsibility to teach her boundaries, not just for other people but for herself! I'm sure it will not happen over night, but it will happen if your are consistent! Try a reward and consequences system. A sticker on the calendar or star on her very own cork-board. If she's like the two year olds I know, she's crazy over the littlest things (I didn't have anymore sticker and got away with using a sticker off a banana!). Your reward doesn't have to be a trip to Disney Land to have impact. Same does with your consequences! If it really hurts her feelings or gets her upset to take a sticker away for behavior that is not acceptably then that's your consequence! Your rewards and consequence with change as much as she changes! Do what ever is most affective.
Good Luck!! Thank you and your husband and your girls for being a great ARMY family. I really appreciate what you and your family sacrifice for me and my family! GOD BLESS AMERICA!
K.

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J.W.

answers from Austin on

Have you tried using a tall gate in the door way?

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T.R.

answers from San Antonio on

I didnt go through all the ideas that they had for you, but I know this worked with my nephew, my little brother and I'm hoping with my one year old when she gets to this point.I bought a bell and nailed it to the top of the door. So every time they moved the door the bell would go off. I also had trouble with them going to the stairs so I put baby safe guards up as well. That is not wroking for my daughter though because she has already found a way to pull them down no matter how tight I put them. So that is why I dont push that idea. My daughter is also a climber so if she can not push it down she will stay there till she climbs over it. Well good luck.

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L.B.

answers from Austin on

My daughter had the same problem with her son who is 2 1/2. She put a radio/alarm clock in his room to come on with soft music at the time she wanted her son to wake up. Then she put the child gate on the door and explained to him that if he woke up early he could play quietly in his room until the music came on. This is working great for her. Prior to this time he was waking up his brother who is in first grade at 5:30 a.m. or going into other parts of the house and getting into things. I understand that your daughter is younger, but girls are generally more advanced than boys, so this might work for you.

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R.G.

answers from Houston on

HI! I have not had this problem my self,however I know a friend who did and she tied some bells above her sons door so that when the door would open the bells would ring and that would awaken her. And since the bells were so hi he could not reach them to get his sneaky hands on them. Hope you find a solution soon. Goodluck R. G.

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V.K.

answers from Houston on

The only suggestion I have is to try turning the doorknob around on her door so that the lock is on the outside. That way you can lock it from the outside so she can't get out of her room without you knowing, if you feel comfortable with that. I know someone that has used that with their 2 yrs old with success.

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M.M.

answers from College Station on

Hello, my son (now grown) did the same thing. My husband put bells on the door. Attach them up high and when she opens her door the bells go off. This saved us much needed sleep as we always heard him leave his room.

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C.G.

answers from Austin on

You can try a regular baby monitor and have the speaker/receiver next to your side of the bed.
If you get the angelcare motion sensor monitor.
If it detects no motion for over 20 seconds an alarm goes off.
You will be guaranteed to know she is out of bed.

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A.D.

answers from El Paso on

I guess this all depends on how compliant your daughter is, but I had a "good Morning" light when I was a kid. All it was was a special night light put on a timer, when the light came on, it was ok to get my mom up. She started out early, then set it forward 15 min every so often (the time being negligible to me).

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N.D.

answers from El Paso on

Maybe try at gate at her door or a slide lock at the top of the door. With the slide lock, you can even keep the door cracked. We have them on our pantry and litter box room. My son can also open the child locks, but we are lucky that he does not get out when he is not told to.

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C.N.

answers from Odessa on

i have a 2 year old daughter. she used to get out of her crib too, so we moved her into a big girl bed. she likes to get up in the middle of the night and get into stuff, so we had to put one of those child proof doorknob covers on the inside of her door. she can't get out unlesss we open it from the outside. she still gets up and plays with her toys, but she goes to bed when she gets tired. i wake up before her in the mornings, so when i get up, i open her door so she can come out when she wakes up. we tried putting a gate on her door, but she figured out how to take it down in 2 days!!

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B.M.

answers from Beaumont on

hang a bell at the top of her door, the larger the better, it will ring every time she opens it.

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S.M.

answers from San Antonio on

how about a couple of baby monitors, one in her room and one in the kitchen or living areas so you can better hear what's going on! She's a rascal alright! you gotta love and admire that kind of intelligence. I wonder what she is going to be when she grows up? A cat burglarer or some genious scientist? HA! god bles you both and any idiot guy who ever tries to hold her back! LOL!

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B.G.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.,
Try putting one of those chain locks on the outside of the door. This way when she opens the door, it should make a clanging noise that will wake you up. Hope this helps

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K.G.

answers from Austin on

We did this with my daughter. We placed a pressure babygate across her door on the outside. She could still open her door and call out to us, but it took her awhile before she could climb over. When she figured out how to climb over, we started to place it a little higher off the ground. Not enough for her to crawl under, but enough that she would spend some time trying to figure out how to crawl under.
Now that she is almost three, we don't have the gate, and when she wakes up she comes straight to our room and crawls in bed with us.

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D.H.

answers from Houston on

I used to have a similar problem with my children, especially my youngest. I would put up a baby gate. That's what I did and it did keep them out for a while. Although, after a while my child did figure out how to climb over the gate. Make sure there is no chair or table near the gate or they will figure out how to get over the gate. Hope this helps. I am a mom of 3 and have pretty much seen it all by now. LOL. Good luck! Mine got into so much at that stage. Watch out for flour or baby powder. My son got it all over the house. It was really hard to clean up.

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