Help - My Child Won't Sleep! What Are Differences Between Popular CIO Methods??

From my personal experience, I read and used Ferber with both of my kids. They are great sleepers now (but the first kid was a terrible one until I discovered Ferber). To me, that is the only book to read, and reading it is a must because it expained everything. Takes 2 weeks or less to do.

I am personally not in favor of the CIO method but if you do decide to do this please do not choose the baby wise method. It has been linked to failure to thrive and dehydration. Here is an atricle from the AAP. http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/babywise-linked-to-babies-... THe original link that I had no longer works but the article was copy and pasted to this blog.
Blessings, K.

Could you try using a co-sleeper that attaches to the bed? You would be able to comfort him, but he would not be able to nurse from there. Does he use a pacifier? I know it is something to take away later, but he may have a high need for sucking which is probably why he is wanting to nurse all night long.
As for CIO methods, the Weissbluth method is to put your child to bed and not go back til morning. Before that you are to follow the same routine every night. For naptime, let the child cry for one hour and then nap time is over until the next sleep time.
Ferber method calls for allowing crying for an interval of time and then going in to soothe. The first night being about 3 or 4 minute intervals. Each night you increase the intervals.
Babywise is about a cycle of activities. It goes on a path called EASY. Eat Activity Sleep You.
The concern I would have with doing CIO is that your child sounds high needs and he isn't quite old enough to understand your words when you explain to him that he needs sleep. CIO may actually make him even more high needs because he may be left feeling insecure. In a few months his language comprehension will have increased a lot and at that point it is not as likely to cause him to become needier.

my dr told me once they are 12 lbs they can metabolically go all night without a feed, so when he asked at our 4 month appt if she was sleeping thru the night i said no. he asked why? i told him that she wants to eat around 2 am or so. we were putting her to bed at 7 and she would sleep great until like dummies we woke her up at 11 (before we went to bed) and fed her in the hope that she would sleep all night. well that disrupted her sleep pattern. how would we know - we are 1st time parents and were doing it hoping she would go all night. he told us to do the CIO method. feed her and read to her. put her in crib awake. go in at 5 mins if she is crying - pat her...tell her shhhh. dont pick her up. wait another 10 mins if she is crying - go bak and repeat, stretching each time out. it took one night. she cried for about 30 mins and then took a big deep breath, rolled over, put her thumb in her mouth and went to sleep ALL NIGHT. a few nights the first week she would stir around 2-3 am...would see if she could stop crying by herself. went in and patted her..told her shhhh...did not turn on light. did not pick her up. after 4 days, she started sleeping thru the night all night every night since that. she is now 15 mos. if you continue to BF , the baby can smell the milk. it would be best for baby to be in his own room away from your scent. she took 2 naps a day until recently and now takes one 1 1/2 hr nap late morning. she is a great sleeper.

Hello,

I can't reallt tell you the diferences, but I can tell you what worked for me. if it is possible I would suggest moving your childs bed into another room. I would start by having him nap in his bed, do whatever it is you get him to sleep, then put him in his bed, then you just have to let him cry. It takes a few day, but if you do not go in there at all (leave the door cracked open so you can peek in and make sure he is o.k.) and get him, he will know you mean business! Then when he has that down, start by taking out one feeding a night. Sorry you are going through this. Hope this helps.

N.

You got some pretty good advice. We use the CIO method of waiting a certain period of time and then going in to her room. Once we moved our daughter to her own room, she did much better. No one wants to hear their baby cry, but we found it necessary. Our daughter is 10 months old, and with few exceptions (teething or sick) she has been sleeping through the night since 3 months. She has great sleep habits. She takes two naps a day and goes down at 7 pm with no problems. We always put her to sleep awake. If she cries, she usually stops by the time we shut her door. We also have no toys, mobiles or noise makers in her room. Everyone has different methods and I know a lot of people don't agree with the CIO method, but I wanted to let you know that my daughter and I are bonded and she is a happy healthy baby. Even if we let her cry herself back to sleep at night, she wakes up in the morning and smiles when she sees us.

I have a question, does your son take a pacifier? My son did the same thing during the first week we had him home, and I got no sleep because he was permanently attached to me, nursing. Then I got him a pacifier, and presto! He only got up when he was hungry, 2-3 times a night, and after 3-4 months he was sleeping through the night.

I was told that some babies will want to nurse all the time, not because they are hungry, but because they want to suckle. It's called Comfort Suckling. The action of suckling is actually soothing to them. The pacifier was a gift from God! We would only give it to him before his nap, or before his bedtime, and it has done wonders. No crabby child during the day (he too was sleep deprived) and rest and peace for Mom and Dad.

Also, by six months our son was sleeping in a crib in his own room. After he was 4-5 moths old, if he woke up and saw us (when we still had him in our room), he would instantly start to cry because he would, of course, rather I held him that stay in his crib. So I would suggest moving his crib to his own room; 10 months is definitely old enough for it.

Anyway, I just thought I would ask and offer this suggestion. Hopefully it works for you! I will pray that it gets better!

God bless!
M.

I have always used babywise and found it to be the best. The reports of it being linked to failure to thrive are unfounded and in my opinion, quite ridiculous. It basically wants you to try to stay on a 3 hour schedule during the day, so your baby will establish the difference between night and day. For example, if he wakes up at 7am, you feed him, have playtime for awhile, and then put him down for a nap about 1 to 1 1/2 hours from the time he woke up. Then just continue the same cycle everytime, except at night. Once he is asleep, let him sleep till he wakes on his own. He should be able to go all night without food, so if he wakes at night, do not pick him up or talk to him. Just pat his bum or back and let him know you are there and then leave him to fuss and check on him every 10 to 15 minutes until he falls back asleep. The biggest reason you don't want to pick him up is because you want him to learn how to soothe himself and sometimes parents get in the way and it makes it so much more difficult for him to learn how to put himself to sleep. Establishing a consistent routine will help a lot and if you have another room for him to sleep in, it will make it so much easier. It is tough to listen to them cry, but it is for a good cause. Healthy sleep habits are essential to healthy growth and development and it can do wonders for their attitude when they are awake. He will be well rested and happier because he has gotten a full nights sleep. There are a lot of people who look down on CIO methods, but as a childcare professional for last 12 years, I can guarantee you will be so happy with the results. And your baby will not hate you or think he cannot depend on you, like some critics say to scare you away from CIO methods. Trust me, a few minutes of fussing will not undo all the love and devotion you give to your baby on a daily basis. You kinow what is best for him and teaching him these soothing skills will be so good for him! Good Luck!!!

You have some good advice on the CIO methods. I just went through this with my 1 year old when I stopped breastfeeding. He always went to bed easily, but woke up 2 and 3 times a night. During the night, the key was to go in his room, lay him down and say "night night" and walk away. I closed the bedroom door and did not go back in and he eventually went back to sleep on his own. This took 3 nights and now he's sleeping through the night. :-)

I know you said you don't have time to read, but the best book I got was Healthy Sleep Habits of a Happy Child. The key is going to bed early. My son goes to bed at 6:30. The more sleep they start getting, the more they will sleep believe it or not. The book also suggest about 2-3 hours of awake time for your son's age. Make sure he takes a morning nap around 9:30 and 1:30. It has to do with their body clocks.

You can also google "Dr. Weissbluth" and watch him talk about it on youtube. Good luck and hang in there. It only takes a few days to change a baby's habits (and ours).

Hi there! I am a mom of 3 very good sleepers, and they have been that way since they were 4-5 months old. I never read a single book on the subject (I don't have a clue what CIO or Babywise is!), but went with some general good advice I read and was advised by my pedi for my oldest. First, he needs to be put in his own room. Then, let him cry it out. My pedi told us three nights . . . and by the fourth they are sleeping "like babies". Were those three nights hard? You bet! No parent wants to hear their child wailing for 45 minutes to an hour. But it worked! I would check in on them once or twice to make sure there were no other issues (dirty diaper, throwing up, etc.). Good luck!

love babywise! works so great. it has such straight forward advice and suggestions. using babywise both of my girls were sleeping through the night in their own rooms by 12 weeks. we were all happier!
couple of thoughts.
he needs to be in his OWN ROOM!! key to success.
if you put your baby down in his crib asleep then he will wake up and not know where he is! he also won't learn how to put himself to sleep which i believe is the first thing we as parents need to teach our children to do by themselves. If you put your child down awake he will learn to fall asleep by himself. and when he wakes up he knows "oh this is where mom puts me down to sleep" and he also know how to fall back asleep. a
As far as crying to out. while it is difficult for every mother it can be sooo necesary. Look at the clock when you first put him down. 5 min of crying can seem like an hour to you. Let him cry for 15 minutes. go pat his back and calm him down. Go in the next 15 minutes. This may take 1 to 2 hours! hopefully not that long. If you have a hard time listening to the crying take a shower or something. ask your husband to help you stay out of there till it is time. i would shut their door and my door and turn the moniter off. i had lights on my moniter so i would know if they were still crying. With my daughters it took 30 minutes for 3 days. then they would just go right to sleep. I would give it a full week before you give up! stick with it. you will be such a better mother to him when you have a good nights rest!! good luck.

Bless your heart. I feel your pain. Books are a great resource but you know your son best. Does he have a favorite cuddle blanket? Try dipping a pacifier in breast milk to get him to latch on. I know this is not recommended but when we did the CIO with my son I put a pillow from our bed (had our scent and was soft) along with a blanket his Gran made. I tried the in and out thing but felt like that was more torture. Out of exhaustion I did the cold turkey. He would not go to sleep with me trying to help him, he just had to figure it out on his own. It was a HARD couple of days but once he figured it out it was wonderful getting to sleep again for all.

I would recommend putting him in his own room. It could be he is a light sleeper and someone is snoring and waking him up.

You are not alone. Good luck and enjoy those cuddles, they grow up so fast.

Have you talked to your pedi? Most pedi's do not recommend babywise so before going there I would seek advise from your doctor.

I can attest to Babywise. I have used the methods on four children and have recommended it so many people, and they have all had success. I strongly recommend that you own the book. It is a "How to" book and I refer to mine quite often, especially when sleeping starts being tampered with.
It is not a bad method, and those that think it is are not fully informed and I doubt they have read it and understood it. As with any book, there are good thing one can take and leave the rest behind. So if there is something that you don't like by all means, don't do it. Here are some good things from Babywise...

One good thing from this method is the scheduling. The recommended schedule is Wake/ eat/ play/ sleep/ wake.... repeated about three times in the day. By feeding your baby when they get up rather then when they are going to sleep, you allow them to figure out how to fall asleep and you know that when they start getting fussy they are tired not hungry.
One to two hours after they wake up in the morning is a good time to do the first nap, then about two hours after they wake for the second and then two after they wake for the third. Not all of them will be two hours long, but I allot at least that much time for planning my day. I try to stick to the times I pick every day because their body will regulate and it will start getting tired around the same time, and they fight it less. It will also be easier to notice when they are getting tired too. After I do the nap routine, and put them in bed, I let them fuss/cry for about ten min. I know they have just been changed and they are not hungry yet because they have just eaten and that they are just trying to relax to go to sleep or protesting a bit. I go in every ten or fifteen min, and check on them, and put them back down. I do this until nap time is over (about two hours) The first time you do this he will be mad and throw a fit probably the whole time, just use this time to get some stuff done and stay busy. By adopting a good nap routine, being consistent, and disciplined yourself, your baby will be sleeping soon enough. Do the same at night, just remember the less you go in the less he will keep waking and calling out to you to help him go back to sleep.
At ten months your baby should be sleeping 12 hours at night and have two 2 hour naps, maybe even three 2 hr naps. Sleep is essential for your health and his. He needs at least 16hrs in 24hrs.

Another good thing that they suggest is that your baby sleep in his own room. This is so that you can get the sleep you need and you don’t keep waking each other up. And so that when he stirs you aren’t “up and at them” before you know what you are doing. Babies stir in the night, and you might be temped to meddle with them at the slightest sound. Just be patient and let them try for a little bit first. You and your husband need your room, not a family room. It sounds at though he does not like the arrangement you have at the moment. At some point it might interfere with your marriage relationship,(hopefully not) but it is a good idea to get your room back.
The parent needs to be in charge. This helps your children feel secure when they know there are walls around them to protect them. Be kind and loving but when it is time to do something you must be determined and follow through. So decide with you husband what you will and will not accept and do it. Whatever you do you will need to be consistent. So if you don't want to be snuggling three –ten times a night, you need to have a routine for bed time and then be constant the rest of the time.
What I do for kids not in a crib is just take their hand,(not carry because then they are getting the reward they wanted) and walk them back to bed and tuck them in with kindness, and leave. (Minimal talking if any) It might take awhile with tiring nights, but eventually she will get it.

Some things that I have come up with…
I keep a fan in each room to white out noise. I also keep one in my room for teaching the baby how to get back to sleep, so I can get sleep.
I give a stuffed animal to my babies (one that can be washed, I like the ty pluffies) so they have a symbol of sleeping and something to snuggle with.
I also put a water bottle in the bed once they need not nurse in the night anymore. Sometimes they just get thirsty.
I wait till they are fully awake for ten min before I go check on them. This gives them time to go back to sleep with out me helping.

One important thing to remember, as with anything in child rearing, is to do something long enough that you can establish a norm. Once you know what the norm is, then you will know instantly when something is awry. Because its out of the normal routine you will know and can attend to their needs.
THE MOST IMPORTANT thing about parenting is Love the SECOND is that whatever you do, you do it Consistently. This above everything else establishes the most security for your child. Even if a parent is not the most "knowledgeable" and up to date in parenting techniques, as long as they are consistent, the children will respond like wise.
Good luck finding your sleep solutions,
E.