My seven year old can't seem to stay out of trouble. He is ADHD and lately he has started talking back. He is the 2nd grade and his teacher calls, he even had to go stay with the asst. principal b/c he hit another kid with a rock. His father and I have tried every avenue we know. We have restricted, taken things away, not let him go to friends houses or let him go on outings. We have stuck it out and done what we needed to as parents and he still don't get it. He lies all the time. We are trying so hard to get him straightened out, but nothing seems to do the trick. His older brother got to go ride dirt bikes and we even kept him at home. His older brother got to go to the movies and he had to miss that too. What else can I do to make him listen? Nothing seems to do the trick, it seems to be getting worse instead of better. The bad part about all of this is his teacher at school and I have known each other for about 6 years and she calls and says that she doesn't know what else to do either. This past week she called and I could hear him in the background hollering and laughing at the other students. She said that he had been throwing food in the cafeteria and that he thought it was funny. HELP!
Thanks, A frustrated mom ;-)
Just wanted to let you all know THANKS for the advice. Honestly I really don't know exactly what made the change, but we seem to be at a point where things have actually been going really well. We have of course stuck to our punishments and tried to do our best with dealing with the stress and keep going. His grades in the past couple of weeks have been all 90 and 100's. He has had only one bad note in the past couple of weeks too. We have not changed medication. We have not changed anything really. Glad for the change. Thanks, MS
I work with teenage children and most of them are adhd i have found that not one person can connect with all these children i've had some that want do anything that i ask them too but respond so well to my assistant so maybe he doesn't connect with the teacher and another thing maybe the doctor needs to know some medications have this side effect Good Luck! A. Dickerson
HI,MS!FIRST LET ME TELL YOU THAT I ALWAYS TYPE IN ALL CAPS,I HAVE NERVE DAMAGE AND IT IS JUST EASIER FOR ME!WITH THAT SAID,I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN BE OF MUCH HELP TO YOU BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME EXACT THING WITH MY 7YR.OLD THAT YOU ARE.AND HE ALSO IS IN 2ND GRADE.IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING WHAT SCHOOL DOES YOUR SON GO TO?MINE IS IN BARNARDSVILLE.I HAVE JUST RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT HE HAS MILD(?)ADHD AND WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO SPEAK WITH HIS PED. TO TALK ABOUT MEDS.WHICH I'M NOT REALLY IN FAVOR OF BUT AT THIS POINT I AM DESPERATE!!MY ? IS IF THIS IS MILD I'D HATE TO SEE SEVERE ADHD.IF YOUR SON ISN'T ON MEDS IT MAY BE SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER?WELL,GOOD LUCK TO YOU MY DEAR BECAUSE I CAN CERTAINLY RELATE TO YOU AND YOUR STRESS!!SINCERELY,T.
you didnt mention medication or counseling...my son is adhd he has had both and is now a normal 23 yo. it may be your only choice. it was mine
Sweetheart, I wish I could give you a BIG hug!! I know you are going through alot with your son right now and I feel for you. I HIGHLY suggest that you get yourself, your son, and your husband into a family counseling session and start to figure out what is at the root of this problem. I have a little bit of a background in ADHD and I suspect that either he is not on medication or his medication dosage/prescription is wrong for him. I also think that maybe there are other problems that are causing the outbursts and misbehavior on his part and I think that counseling will be a HUGE help to you!!! I don't know how much your or your husband know and understand about ADHD and counseling will help to educate you both and will teach you methods to deal with your son. It will also help you to educate your other children on what their brother is going through and how they can relate to him. My own son (who is 16 months old) is very at risk for ADHD (Daddy is a severe case) and will be monitored very closely for ADHD amongst other things when he gets a little older. We have already spoken with a counselor regarding the possibility of him having ADHD and he is WONDERFUL!! I strongly recommend the practice that we went to. It's called Resource Guidance and it's on Hugenot Rd. Give them a call! Good Luck!!
we have a 7 year old as well with bi-polar..he was the same way and it just got worse..the only thing left for anyone to do was the doctor had to admit him to try other medications..trust me tho the meds they put the kids on now days ..they get addicted to them and it does no help for the child,they finally put him on another medication and he does well in school and home,occasionally he has some problems but nothing like it used to be..i know it dont seem right sending your baby away,but the best thing to do is get help before its too late..our son had went after a kid at school and tried to stab her..it gets worse if nothing gets done to help..also a child with adha seems to not realize they are in the wrong when they are , and dont understand at times...thats how we have been explained about this sort of problems...good luck to ya hope it all gets better!!!!
M S,
I know exactly what you are going through. My son is ADHD/OCD/mild Aspergers. What you are describing is like what we went through last year. My only saving grace was 1) mild medication and 2) we took him to an art therapist. she worked miracles with him. We don't have any of the issues that we had last year. He continues to go for his anxiety issues but with her help, we were able to get beyond a lot of things. If you live in the VA Beach area, I can recommend someone. Your son will really love it. My son gets upset if we miss a week or if she makes it a family session and we take away his time. You need healing and I'm sure your husband needs healing and someone like an art therapist can help. It is extremely difficult raising a child with adhd and if you let it, it can pull your family apart. It will also help your other boys understand his way of life too.
There is a disorder that sometimes occurs with ADHD that is called Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I would see if you could get a referral to a specialist in behavioral disorders for testing and a diagnosis.
My son is ADHD, and my best friend's son is also ADHD, with ODD. I have seen what you are descibing firsthand, and I know how you are feeling. Here is a website that may be a little help until you can get him to see his pediatrician.
http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+with+Oppositional+...
I hope this helps you.
R.
____@____.com
I know what you mean. I have an eleven year old son with ADHD and bipolar disorder. Nothing we do works with him. He was suspended from school yesterday for not doing his work. He lies to me about having it done and lies to the teachers about why it wasn't done. He even got paddled in school the day before because it was the last resort before getting suspended.
He always says it is because he cannot have any fun. We dicipline him all the time and we are not afraid to not let him do things.
We have taken away everything from him and not let him participate in any extracurricualr activities like baseball. He is on meds for both conditions and he can be really good somedays. After he does something he is remorseful but doesn't seem to comprehend why he is in so much trouble.
Keep doing what you are doing. Request that he be evaulated for extra help in the classroom. I am working on gettign the school to do what is necessary to help my son learn in class. It isn't that he cannot do it, he just doesn't want to. I , like you have been called and both of us ( his teacher and I) are doing everything that we know to do.
He is in counseling and we go every week to every other week. It helps some. It also give me an extra person to be an outlet for him and me about the concrens we have and how maybe to help him.
Feel free to contact me if you need to talk. I hope something I said might help you.
Hi, hope a suggestion of loving would help. Maybe something
is bothering your 7 year old and he cannot tell you. And he
might not know how to tell you. Things like someone hurting
his feelings and he does not know how to deal with this.
One thing, you could catch him doing something good at home.
Then think about it--even though you are exaspirated--and tell
him 3 things that he has done good, the thing you just saw and
then 2 other things that you remember he has done well or good.
That is 3 good things, then mention 1 thing that really is not a good way of behaving that you saw him do. Maybe that could
break the cycle of all bad. In Educational Psych, we learned
to find 3 good things to 1 bad to open up communication with
someone who was having a difficult time.
Maybe this would give room to think about the good, thus maybe
feel like amending the bad. None of us want to be all bad and
none of us are all bad--especially when you are 7. And then
maybe there is something upseting this child. Sometimes a
Grandparent can be a sounding board--someone out of the dramatic loop of "bad happenings." Hope this helps. My son
acted up some--he is now a Marine helping his other Marines
in Iraq. He has a heart of gold too, as he always has. CSC
I am right there with you!! It sounds like we are going through the same thing with our boys. My son is so sweet and loving, but lately he has been going through a very trying stage. My son lied to me the other day and I told him that because he lied I was going to punish him. I popped him on his hand and took away everything electronic for that night. That actually seemed to help. He was actually asleep by 8:30 because he had nothing else to do - lol!!!
Anyway, I know I did not help much, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I think that we should have a degree in child rearing before we have kids. Boy, raising kids is so hard!!! My husband and I have decided that we are going to make a chart and let them know exactly what to expect if they do something wrong. I will let you know how it works out!!!
