Help My 3 Yr Old Won't Try Anything New, Won't Eat Her Fruits and Veggies!

She has to try ONE bite of something. Chew it AND swallow it.

That's it. That's all she gets. Don't short order cook with her and prepare something else. She either eats what she gets at mealtimes or she goes hungry. No one can fault you for providing a healthy nutritious meal. It's her choice to eat all of it or not.

It looks like she eats pretty good for a 3 year old. Does she drink juice? There are the new fruitables and the V8 blends. Smoothies work to. Keep offering and eventually she'll try it. Don't force the issue or she will battle you. You may try letting her cook with you.

You are doing all the right things and just remember total consumption slows down rapidly at this age. No child ever starves and don't accomodate her too much for fear of starvation, if you can stomache an occasional tantrum. Remember that if you cave she will remember that clearly and then she will play you like a flute. Please consider cutting out the goldfish, they are garbage and will stick to her teeth more than people realize. And lots of minced and pureed things can be hidden in pancakes. Good luck!

My 3 and 1/2 boy is the same, but in your place I would relax a bit, from what you describe she has some variety in her diet (I mean, eggs are great for protein and carrots/broccoli/apples are great for fibers and vitamins, not to mention carbs that are good at their age too)...take a breath and relax, there are things much more difficult in motherhood than a picky eater! I bet if you act relaxed about this issue, the pressure will be off and she'll come around. I find that at this age children form habits (even with foods) that make them feel safe, like nothing is changing, everything is the same and it feels good. Continue to hide the foods that you want her to eat in other foods and stack the pantry with the foods of your choice...but first of all relax and give her the chance (with some time) to change habits when she feels more comfortable. It's not like she's eating McDonalds every day! You still have plenty of time to teach her what's good for her body and she needs to be receptive. If what you did so far didn't work it means that it's time to change strategy. Good luck.

hi J., it's not as bad as you think. the variety of foods she eats is fairly diverse, and you're doing great to give her options. i totally disagree with the advice to force the issue. you might get reluctant obedience, but if you truly want a child who has good eating habits and a good attitude toward food, do NOT force it. steaming fruits and veggies soft, pureeing them and freezing them in ice cube trays gives you a good nutritious 'stock' that you can put in all manner of foods to boost the nutritional level. that doesn't mean you should turn yourself inside out. there is a good wide middle ground between being a short-order cook and standing there sternly tapping your foot while your child gags down something they hate (a guaranteed recipe for issues.) if there is truly nothing at the meal she will eat, DO let her go to bed hungry. i promise you no child will voluntarily starve themselves, and no one dies from skipping a meal or three. but don't make this a punishment, and don't feel horrible about it. it's a calm natural consequence. but do try to make some of her more nutritious favorites available daily when reasonable. children have very little control over anything in their lives. this is one thing you really can't force (well, unless you are willing to be extremely punitive and create a host of worse problems.) relax and decline the power struggle.
khairete
S.

J., My 4 1/2 yr old is the same, very picky, so you are not alone.

Mine loves most fruits (banana his favorite) and eats lots of it but will not touch his veggies. Peanut butter banana sandwich is his favorite. He loves carbs too bread ,tortilla, he recently added plain pasta with parmessan to his list. He dropped Mac and Cheese and mashed potatoes. One of the thing with him is the texture of the food, does not like anything crunchy or too mushy etc. What's funny is that he knows the dishes by smell from my native country and will call them out as soon as he enters the kitchen but never tries most of them.

Just try to make whatever she likes really healthy, not too much sugar, not too much fat, whole grains etc. I would make sure at least one of her favorite food is on the menu for the family meals and that's it.

Try to model good eating habits without and fuss and she will pick up when she gets older.

All the best.

one thing you can't force (along with pottying) is eating. don't waste so much effort freaking out, thinking you're a horrible mother, making her special foods, coercing her, begging her, bargaining with her - she WON'T starve. if she goes to bed a little hungry it won't hurt her. make a healthy meal with one or two things you know she will eat, and leave it completely HER choice. if she doesn't eat, she can learn the consequences of turning down perfectly good meals. either she eats it, or she can wait until next mealtime/snacktime. take the battle out of it. i have yet to hear of a "picky" eater starving to death. have you? take control of the situation. if you're catering to her of course she's not going to try anything new. this has always been my policy, and we have no struggles at mealtime. so at first, putting your foot down will probably cause a lot of drama, because she's not used to it. but dang, it will only get worse the more you cater to her. it's up to you.

I'm going through the same thing with my two year old. Have a 4 1/2 year old that eats like a champ. For example, last night the 4-yo ate poached salmon, romaine salad, most of a cucumber, two fresh oranges, and a slice of whole wheat toast. The 2-yo ate a baked sweet potato with butter and a slice of toast. I've taken the same approach with both of them, offering lots of different foods, but not applying pressure, but one eats well and the other doesn't. One tries new foods, the other doesn't. I'm eager to hear what other mom's suggest. It's so frustrating! I guess every child is different.

Updated

So frustrating! I'm going through exactly the same thing and am eager to hear what other moms suggest.

I spoke with my doctor about this same situation, He told me that some children grow out of this, be kind to your self.

And he added, that some people grow up and never eat fruits and veggies.

So don't worry, all will be ok.

take the pressure off yourself

WOW the list of stuff your 3 yr old will eat is almost identical to the list MY 3 yr old will eat, but yours eats more... LOL I'm not lucky enough to get her to eat carrots, EVER!! Mine does eat chicken nuggets, but otherwise, your list is all mine will eat!!
Try fruit shakes, actually that is one way that I get fruit in my little princess. Mix together some fresh or frozen (combo is best) blueberries, bananas, orange juice, kiwifruit, grapes, peaches, strawberries, whatever you have, the more the merrier, and blend it -- no sugar needed when you are sure you have included some strawberries and/or peaches -- the sweet fruits. See if she'll drink some, it's usually quite sweet (add a LITTLE honey if it needs it, you can tell) and a great way to try to get fruit in her. And make popsicles with that too, get the Tupperware popsicle makers, and she should like that. If she likes ice cream, see if she'll eat frozen blueberries. But other than that, I've been told to chill out and just let her be herself. Get brocolli in her when you can, and be sure and get a good multivitamin in her if you can (the gummy vites taste like treats, they're YUMMY). Offer her whatever you're eating, and maybe one day... that's my plan. Oh, and see if she'll drink V8 juice, mine will, and that's full of veggies.

You don't mention whether her doc says her weight gain and growth are okay or not. If they are in normal range, I wouldn't worry, this happens to almost all children. If not, then you'll have to be sneaky about adding good stuff into the things she will eat until her palate becomes adventurous once again. It won't hurt her to miss eating some, she will eat when she gets hungry later.

Hi J..,
You're not doing anything wrong! You've entered that point in parenthood where you need to realize that you cannot control what your child likes and doesn't like. It sounds like she is getting protein (cottage cheese has tons of it!).
It may be hard to give up control, but sometimes that's how you get your best results. You've entered the stage of needing to choose your battles (my kids are 10 and 14, I know the importance of this).
Don't make mealtime a battle. She is exerting control. My suggestion is to serve what she likes at breakfast, it sounds like she eats healthy foods for that meal. F
or lunch and dinner, put out a variety of things - some that you know she likes and others that maybe she hasn't had or hasn't in a while. Then let her choose what she wants and serve herself. Then, no matter how hard it is for you, DO NOT COMMENT ON WHAT SHE ATE AND DIDN'T EAT. Don't suggest "Why don't you try the string beans?" or wheedle or make deals, "Just one piece of cauliflower and you can have a cookie after dinner" No comments at all. When you don't make a big deal of it or even act like you care or notice what she's trying, she may be more likely to, because it'll be her choice and her idea.
At dinner, you can put out her pasta, but also some turkey meatballs, cheese cubes, a cooked veggie, a raw veggie, whole grain bread, fruit kebobs. My kids were always good eaters but I also used to put out something different to try (olives, artichokes, avocadoes) - no one had to try those things but they were there, and the kids would try them if no one suggested it.
Good luck

Consider yourself fortunate if she will sometimes eat brocolli and carrots! That's more than my kids will do. I would recommend giving her a multivitamin every day and then not worrying too much about it. Remember that even pasta and cereals have some other nutrients in them. She is not feeling the hunger or she would be asking for more food. She is not going to starve.

Have her cook with you. My son hated pretty much everything unless it was meat and potatoes...literally, that was all he would eat. Once I started him cooking with me and "snitching" foods while we cooked, he learned he liked more stuff, or was at least trying more stuff. Get her a little apron, special stool for the kitchen and her own set of measuring stuff (super cheap at $1 store). Good luck with it. Eventually she'll get tired of the same foods:)

I am the last person to give advice on patience and tolerance...but my parents are really good at making the kids want to eat stuff - they will eat it in front of them and say how good it is - make a big deal out of it...and then leave a plate out in the middle of the table in case they want to 'try' the food....sometimes they will....they are a bit older, but it could be curiosity that wins her over...eat something, act like it's the best thing in the world, then walk away - leaving it for her to try if she feels like it - she may try with you not watching....

hi..at her age, autonomy is an expected developmental task and it can be displayed through food preferences. i understand how you feel and it's normal for a mom who wants nothing but the best for her child. you are actually in the right track. just don't enforce anything on her..let her make the choice but you decide what the options would be. incorporate in the meal you prepare foods she will surely eat like pasta and eggs. carbo is actually good for her since at her growth stage, she'll be moving a lot and will be all over the place.

I agree and disagree with some of the other comments.

Where we all agree is that you're doing a good job of offering things to her and certainly have her best interest in mind. Where I disagree is that I believe we do need to force the issue and establish guidelines on what is expected of our children at meal time.

Our 3.5 year-old son is doing the same thing, and we're not tolerating it. He has to try everything at least once. It can be brutal as he will try to wait us out. I have no problem letting him go to bed hungry.
Our daughter is a much better eater but she has some things she's just not interested in. Bread is one (23 months) that I haven't figured out. So, we make adjustments, but they always eat the same things as us.

My husband is a picky eater, and I don't want my kids to pick up his bad habits. His parents didn't force him to try new things, mine did. As a 35 year-old man, he's 60 lbs overweight and is on medication for high blood pressure and cholesterol because he'll pick a Philly Cheesesteak off a menu any day over something healthier. He knows he has to eat certain things for the sake of the kids.

I'm also not a fan of recipes that hide the food inside other items they like. Yes, it's good from a nutritional standpoint, but they never learn to appreciate the flavors and like the foods. Also, cooking broccoli into brownies severely compromises the nutritional value.

The concern I have with your current menu is that there are very few fresh ingredients that offer vitamins. Eggs, multi grain waffles, cottage cheese (and the occasional veggies) are all good. Turkey bacon is actually less healthy than regular bacon because of the massive amounts of sodium added in most cases. I'd compare labels and see which you prefer.
The rest of her meals are all carbs which, though good for energy, will metabolize quicker, put more insulin into circulation and possibly lead to weight gain down the road.

I'd ask your pediatrician what they recommend if you need to start supplementing her diet to provide the vitamins she's currently not getting. And, here's that the American Association of Pediatrics recommends to parents for children the age of your daughter.
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddle...

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddle...

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddle...

I agree that having her help cook is the best! Now is also a good time to start a couple of veggies for a garden too, if you have space to grow a few pots of tomatoes, snap peas, or green beans -- helping harvest veggies is a great way. Have her help cut -- if you cut thin slices of veggies she can cut them smaller with a not-too-sharp knife. Also, try veggies at snack time rather than at dinner for a while. That way she's not starving when she sees something she's not sure about so she's less likely to shut down and just refuse her meal.