HELP!! My 3 and a Half Year Old Won't Stop Pooping Her Panties!!!!!

Been there done that, with my own and my preschoolers. I put them in charge. they can poop in the potty or in their pants, but they clean it up. I also talk with them about how it does not get on their bottoms or on their clothes if they poop in the potty and point out how yucky it feels and how messy it is if they poop in their pants. Usually they go in their pants because then they do not have to touch it and someone else cleans them up.

If they poop in their pants, I will talk them through how to change, tell them each step to take, but I will not do it for them. They always seem to decide to go potty after a few times of cleaning themselves up.

I do try to watch them and send them to the potty if I see they need to have a bm.

Good luck!

This may sound weird, but when we were potty training my daughter at 18 months old, I read all the books and the book that helped the most was Potty training 1-2-3 by the Ezzos. What we did is reward her for staying dry or having clean panties during the day, not just going in the potty. This really works. I would check and ask her several times during the day, if her panties were dry and if they were she received a reward. Then when she was going in the potty she also received a reward. Just try it and it should help hopefully. Be positive about the staying clean or dry part during the day, and say what a great job she is doing, and that you are proud of her for keeping her panties clean and then reward her for that. She will then want to keep here panties clean all the time and go in the potty.

Before you do the COLD water treatment (in the winter!), please assess if there is a medical/mental reason she won't go on the potty.

My DD had issues because she was SO constipated. Try 1-2 tsp of Milk of Magnesia (MOM) and 1tsp of benefiber in any liquid. The MOM will make the stool soft while the fiber gives the push to get it out. Make sure she drinks lots of liquids. This will take a couple weeks to work itself out. Have her sit on the potty at a regular times a couple time a everyday; perhaps after she eats.

After all the above, make it unpleasant so that she wants to go on the potty. Have her wash herself which she may dislike.

Good luck.

Bribery per se did not help with my 3.5 yr old twins, either. Finally I took them to Target and let them pick out a special toy. They each picked a care bear. I called them the "Poopy Bears," and explained that when they go poopy in the potty, the poopy bear gets to play with them, but when they poopy in their panties, the poopy bear has to go in the closet. One of the two almost immediately began to poop in the potty, because she really likes to be challenged and she likes to win. The other was a bit slower but still she came around because she wanted to play with her bear. I did not give any negative statements regarding their poopy i the potty. Just stayed matter of fact, Well, you can have the poopy bear back next time; I know you are a big girl and you can poop in the potty. After a week or so, they had it. They just were very motivated by getting that bear.

If the situation doesn't change soon, you may need to address this with her doctor. My younger sister did this when she was little. She was always getting yelled at and punished for it. It was a few years before it was discovered that she actually had a problem that was out of her control. She ended up needing to have enema's so many times a day. Afer that, she got better and no longer pooped in her pants. Since your daughter complains that her tummy hurts, that could be a sign that something is wrong. Just a thought to make sure she doesn't have anything medically wrong that can be resolved over time.

Put her in control of it, buy pullup and tell her when she needs to go if she wants a pullup on she needs to tell you. Worked for my son - took about 3 months and now he's a pro at the potty! Pooping is just hard for kids - pushign it will only hurt.

Teri

OK, this is sounding a lot like a power struggle, and honeslty one that you will not win. I suggest telling her in a very big girl way that you are happy for her to wear panties, and that she is big enough to go poopy in the potty, but that you understand that this seems hard for her. If she is not ready for that, she can go put on a pull up to go, and then needs to help clean up after herself. If she chooses to go in her panties, she needs to clean it up!! Not fun for her at all, but as hard as it may be, make her take care of it. She needs to see how much better it is for her to go in the potty, right now, it is not really a problem for her either way!! Reward her "big girl" behaviors with what ever you wish, but other than that, let it go. No reminding her, no anger or frustration, just a very level mom stating the facts! And you have to make her responsible. Put the pull ups where she can get them, along with anything else she may need, and then wait. She has control over this and she knows it. I have 2 girls that are the very same way, and I hate to say that it wont get a lot better with control issues, I have just learned to make them think they are more in control than they really are...guided choices I call it. GOod luck! ~A.~

My son has a disability so we are working on potty training at 7 and I'm having the same problem! It gets very frustrating. I was talking to my manager about him and she said that her daughter is giving her grandson half a tablet of Fibercon because it was so hard for him to push it out. After they started doing that he is doing very well on the potty.

I know this may sound cruel to begin with but I had the same problem with my daughter and my cousins little girl when I watched her after I had my son. There is a book called to train up a child that we read after several failed attempts at potty training and discipline problems. When they poop in there pants take them into the bathroom strip them in the tub so it doesnt get anywhere and then give them a COLD bath..its not really a bath you don't put the stopper in so the water runs out but the COLD water really affects them. It took twice with my daughter and my cousins little girl and they never did it again. If you make it comfortable for them they will just keep doing it. Like I said I know it sounds cruel but it does work better than anything else I tried and i tried pretty much everything.

My son just turned 4 and we have this problem too. I also have tried everything and nothing seems to work. we have sat on the toilet for literally HOURS reading books, singing songs, having a drink/snack and he still poops in his pants. the peeing he as down. No problems/accidents with that. he doesn't even wet the bed at night. But the poop is what is frusterating me. I am curious to see what everyone else says, but honestly, I am 2 steps away from taking him to the dr. to get checked out.

http://www.soilingsolutions.com/cleankid.htm

M.,

Check out the link above. It sounds like your daughter may have encopresis, which is when they get constipated enough that they start to poop and "leak" poop without knowing it is coming. Try using a training schedule where she sits quietly on the potty for 2 minutes (use a timer, so she can see time passing!), then let her off for 15 minutes. Keep doing this until she produces...after the third try, use a child's enema to clean her out. Do this once a day and it will really help. The enema sounds drastic, but it will really help her. Good luck!