Help! My 2 Year Old Won't Stop Getting Out of Bed at Night!

Updated on September 27, 2009
K.M. asks from Lakeland, FL
13 answers

I'm not sure what has happened but my 2 year old who has slept all through the night since he was 4 months old has begun getting up all through the night. Fortunately, he comes straight to our room so no roaming. However, it's disturbing my husband and my sleep for well over a week and a half now. At first I thought it was due to recent potty training and now that he's used to the urge and using the potty, it wakes him up. So... we started cutting off liquids earlier and I do not scold him the first time he wakes and we go to the bathroom. However, that seems to have made no difference as he's getting up every little while. Then I thought he'd suddenly gotten more afraid of the dark but brighter night light made no difference. I've tried positive reinforcement (i.e. get a prize out of the goodie bag if he stays in bed all night) with no good result. Last night it was nearly 10 times (lost count after 6). We took him to the doctor yesterday to be sure there was nothing going on - no ear infection or anything and he checked out fine. He's a "hunter/gatherer" who sleeps with a bunch of stuffed animals so I threatened to put those in the toy box if he got up - and followed through when he got up anyway. I'm usually very patient and was for the first several nights of this but now it is getting out of control. While he is definitely more challenging than my first child (now 4), he's a good little boy otherwise. Any advice would be much appreciated.

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So What Happened?

Well I'm happy to report we have had 2 full night's sleep where he didn't get up at all and one night where he didn't get up until 5:30 am. It may have just been some kind of phase. We were careful to be sure he wasn't sick, tried to get a clear answer on what was bothering him but at 2 years old, he still has a bit of trouble clearly defining to us what is wrong. We kicked up afternoon playtime to make sure he was being stimulated enough. Thanks to all who replied - it's nice to know we have a panel of experts at our disposal when we have questions!

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Have you tried letting him sleep with his brother? I let my girls sleep together. It made a big difference.

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H.B.

answers from Tampa on

I think it's just a phase.... It may have been going well but things change all the time as kids grow, develop and mature in different ways. Two is really young to be night trained as well as to stay alone all night ( but I understand that 10 wakings is a lot!). Is he in a night diaper or pull-up or is he expected to wake you to potty? How long is he alone each night? I was watching Dr Sears and he had a great suggestion.... He says they always have an open door policy.... Meaning the little one can come in mommy and daddy's room in the night but they aren't allowed to wake mommy or daddy up unless they are sick or really need something. I think they kept a kid mattress or little sleeping bag next to their bed. It may be harder to explain to a 2 year old but I guess no harder than any other plan of trying to keep him sleeping more each night! If you are consistent, whatever plan you choose will work. Stay low key, no fuss, no chat, no play. Just calmly and lovingly go back to bed, use potty whatever and soon this phase will pass as he realizes that nothing fun comes of waking all night.... But try not to yell or fuss, negative attentionis still attention :-)
Also try to see what might be waking him- possibly a noise, light, etc. Maybe add some white noise? Maybe he's just developing now and needs more comfort time at night? I don't think my 19 mo old will be sleeping all night without me or daddy in a few months... I think it's rare and may have been a sweet blessing while it lasted :-) now you get more love time each night!!! :-)

Another thing is to be very careful with limiting liquids.... This can cause all sorts of problems for a healthy body, especially an active toddler....and we live in FL! Most adults get a drink before bed or in the night. I think a pull-up is better for bodily health and comfort vs. worrying about night training, especially with flu season upon us staying well hydrated(night and day) is very important.

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T.F.

answers from Tampa on

I agree with the baby gate but also maybe go in his room at night before he goes to bed & get down to his level maybe he's seeing shadows that bother him or whatever. Like the one lady said dont use punishment just take him back to bed & dont make a big deal out of it & it should work itself out in time. Good luck.

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A.A.

answers from Punta Gorda on

Maybe he just wants to be near you at night?

Maybe he's not needing so much sleep as before, and he could sleep better with a little later bedtime?

Maybe his imagination is gearing up and he's scared of things in his room?

I would ask him specifically "does this wake you up" or "do you feel this way at night" and see what he says. You may have to deduce it, or he may affirm one of your questions directly. Whatever it is, I hope you can accommodate him. Good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

I agree with Victoria-
If he is doing it this often, there must be a "pay off" you don't realize you are giving him, namely attention. I would send him back to bed with little or no talking to him.

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C.O.

answers from Miami on

Hi K.,
you have done everything imaginable to make sure that he is not sick, or in pain. Now you simply need to be his parent who he needs to obey. Simply tell him that he is not to leave his bed or he will get a paddle. The FIRST TIME he gets out give him a paddle on his but then said mommy loves you but you must obey and stay in bed and immediately put hm back in bed. Repeat and stay consistent and with a few nights he will stay in bed.

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A.R.

answers from Jacksonville on

We went through the same thing when my son turned 3 and was in his big boy bed. We tried everything and I hate to say it, but we didn't sleep for almost 6 months! Looking back, the only advice I didn't take (and wish I had) was to cut the door in half and put a lock on the outside (so an adult could get the door unlocked or jump over the door if needed). We tried spanking (he would come to my bed and ask for a spanking!) and I promise it hurt him, but he was persistent. He climbed over three different gates (one was 4' high) and ended up with a bloody lip. He now sleeps just fine on his own (age 4) but it was a tough battle. So good luck!

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

What do you do when he comes to the bed? If you are carrying him back to his bed.. stop.
Turn him around and WALK him back.. have HIM walk.

I never used nightlights with my kids (there were some "new" studies out around that time about how even small amounts of light disrupted their sleep and was bad for them... who really knows, right?) and they never asked. Usually the getting up in the night thing was cyclical... they just do it for awhile.. then stop. But be consistent and don't let him get into bed with you unless you want to start letting him sleep with you all the time. Walk him back to his room and put him in bed.

I think that some of it is they just wake up and don't know what they are supposed to be doing.... Be consistent, and he should start sleeping through again. I never used any punishment or threats with mine. Just walk them back to bed. Over and over and over again. After a week or two is usually comes to an end. Just ignore it otherwise (during the day). The less "attention" is paid to it, probably the better.

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

At bedtime try giving him more proprioceptive input by deep massage, hard hugs, squishing under pillows, and an epsom salts bath. Put classical music in the room on repeat. These activites have a calming effect and if that, along with a behavioral plan in place does not work, then think about giving 1mg of timed release melatonin. I know lots and lots of children who take it. Their bodies do not make enough of this natural hormone so they need it replaced. It is safe and effective. Research it yourself and make the best decision for your boy. Good luck.

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K.G.

answers from Miami on

get a baby gate and put it across the doorway to his room. They sell a special kind with up and down bars that is impossible to climb over (as opposed to the plastic-chain link type. Look online. this was a Godsend with our kids!!

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D.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Say absolutely nothing to him, at night or the next day. Walk him directly back to his bed, after the first time of going potty of course, and put him back in bed and leave immediately. Do ONLY that and I think he'll give up in a few days. By the way, if he's been sleeping through the night since 4 months old, you are wayyyyy ahead of the game and maybe are just paying later. Good luck.

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E.R.

answers from Tampa on

My first boy around 2 did the same thing, I would let him stay in my bed til he fell asleep, then gently pick him up and put him in his own bed. Eventually they grow out of it.
My 2nd boy was different, he kept getting out. I finally realized I was going to get a lot more sleep if I just let him stay in bed with me. I don't agree with the punishment thing and taking toys away at this age, he's too young to understand it. And apparently his need to sleep with you is greater than the toys. He seems to be going through a phase, be patient and this too shall pass. Let him sleep with you, it's really not hurting anyone. He'll outgrow it, I promise!

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Oh please don't threaten. I am 62 and still remember being threatened as a little one.
Have you sat him down and talked, really talked, and really listened? really really listened. If you are tired it is hard to do.
Sometimes as adults we think kids don't understand- but do you remember the times someone really talked to you when you were little?
He needs to know that you're upset is because this is costing you sleep. If he keeps doing it there must be something really important to him to do it, cause he knows you are upset, so what is it that is happening that is worth risking your rath?
Have you had his nutrition checked? If his GI tract is upset- he'll get up, if he has had sugar- he will get up, if he doesn't have the right minerals he will get up, if he is lacking B vits he will get up- see what I mean-
The International Chiropractic Pediatric Assn can give you a referral to someone who can check it out.
Best of luck and wishing you a nap! k

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