Help in Potty Training!

Updated on January 06, 2007
S.H. asks from Butler, NJ
14 answers

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I've tried everything from begging to rewarding and still no consistency going on the potty. Any advice??

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers



answers from Cumberland on

S. you not alone. My first child a son was very easy. He was fully potty trained before he was 2 years old. I just let him go in the house for about a week or two without any thing on. but a t-shirt. I know it sounds crazy. but it worked. He would go to the potty by his self. If I put a diaper or pull-up on him he used them. Well, when my daughter came we couldn't do that with her. One she could run around in front of him like that. She was over 3 when she got potty trained. I started with her when I was home.She was about 2 years old. She was doing good then I had to go back to work. My sister watched her for me and she had a baby that was about 1 year old. She started doing in her pull-up. Then she had my sister to put diapers on her again. I had to go buy diapers. I was like you I tried everything to get her to go potty. She would tell me she wanted to be a baby. So I took her to the store and let her pick out a few pack of panties that she liked. Like Dora and so on. When she did #2 in them I layed her down on a towel and cut up both sides of the underware and put them in the trash. I done this 3 times and she stop. She didn't want her pretty panties through away. I told her we have to because I wasn't putting them in my washing machaine. I hated doing it. I couldn't see throughing them away. They aren't cheap, but diapers and pull-up aren't cheap either. This might not work for you. You just have to find out what will work. Everything everyone told me didn't work. How I found to do this was. She made a big mess in her panties and I just done it and seen how she didn't like it so I did it the next time and one more time and she was potty trained. Good luck!

More Answers



answers from New York on

Hi i run a day care and just potty trained a 3 y old.. What i found is alot of prasing up and getting him to sit right after he drinks any amount of liquid. but u have to moniter her in take.. dose she drink from a sippy cup or a big girls cup? I found that u start with the other big stuff and call them a big kids and tell them big kids use the potty.. they want to start or even try the potty.. Do u do the little potty on the ground or the tolet? well i hope i have helped in any way possible.. and good luck A.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Barnstable on

This is such a common thing... you aren't alone! Almost all kids at this point can feel their power in this area, and they LOVE it. And the more you beg, the more they feel like they are winning and won't give in. Try this. Act like it's not a big deal. The less you pressure her, the more likely she will want to do it on her own.

What worked (is still working, since my daughter just turned 2 and we're still training too!) for us is this: We leave her out of diapers for about 1/2 the day. She get's very upset if she pees or poops out of the diaper, so she's actually learned to hold it. When she needs to go, she starts yelling "Diaper mama, I need diaper!" At first I was discouraged because I really wanted her to go in the potty and not the diaper, but then I realized she's learning to control her bladder and bowels, which is a huge step. She's recognizing what it feels like to need to go, and how to prevent it from happening.

Everyone does it differently. Someday soon your daughter will want something like a big wheel or "big kid" toy. Withhold it from her if she still refuses to go. Tell her big girls that go potty get toys like that. My mom told me that all I wanted was to wear regular underwear. So everyone has a different plan or incentive, and look at it this way... do you know anyone your age that doesn't use the bathroom correctly? So it's bound to work out! Good Luck!


answers from Hartford on

I had the same issue with my 3 yr old, and told her over the summer that if she wanted to go to preschool, she would have to potty train. I just reached a point where I knew she could do it, but was choosing not to, so I put my foot down and said "You're potty training starting now. You no longer have a choice." It worked, and she's been so much more self-confident since then and it's been great. She started preschool this past September.



answers from Boston on

I have the same problem! My daughter is almost 3 1/2 and has no interest in using the potty. We have tried EVERYTHING and she simply has NO interest. If you talk about it too much, she gets irritated and regresses. She will occassionally pee on the potty, but that's it. Feel free to email me.....maybe we can bounce ideas off each other....



answers from Boston on

My daughter is three and we are going through the same issue ... Bribery doesnt work ... we promised my daughter the Dora big wheel so she went about four times ...we bought the big wheel .... no more potty ... very frusturating ..but I spoke to the doctor and she said ...dont worry ... Children that are trained to early actually tend to regress and have accidents later on down the line... Also my grandmother always said dont worry have you ever seen a child going to kindergarten in diapers ...? So just keep trying ... I know I have to take away pullups completely (or at least during the day) but to be honest ... Its a pain because I cant bring her out in underwear she will just wet herself ... I understand your pain.... good luck :)



answers from New York on

i just told my son that he didnt wear diaperes anymore. i do not like the concept of pull ups, i feel like they confuse children. i picked the day he woke up dry (so i knew he had bladder controle) then i prepaired myself to stay in the house for a few days. he wet himself the whole first day. He was not happy about having wet pants and did want to go on the potty. everytime he started to go in his pants i took him to the potty. I asked him to go about every 20 min. I put aside a bunch of sweat pants and undies by the bathroom sink so they were accesible (needed them to be because i had a 4 month old on my hip lol) I put him to bed in undies and woke him up at midnight to empty his bladder. he woke up dry. the next day was pretty successful. He really has not had any accidents since. My sister told me if I did the underpants to make sure I do not go back and forth to diapers. So I made sure I did it on a week where I didnt have to go anywhere.
I wanted to go with the undies because I wanted him to beable to feel his urine and be able to know when he had to go.
Now every child is different and I only have potty trianed my oldest, but this is what worked.
good luck



answers from Lewiston on

We just trained my 3 1/2 year old stepson. He was in pull ups for over a year with no signs of potty training. so I decided that when he was at our house he would wear underwear. I did a lot of laundry but to see how proud he was of himself when he first used the potty was worth it. The little potty never worked for him. We put the potty seat on the toilet instead. He did really great at first and then started having accidents a few months later. These accidents would be on route to the bathroom which made it more frustrating. He is fully potty trained now and only needs help washing his hands. It is going to take a lot of patience on your part. Good luck.



answers from Providence on

I can sympathize with you. I've been there. I have a 4 1/2 year old son. He didn't train until a month before he turned 4 and he had accidents several times a week (sometimes daily) until 2 months after he turned 4. I went "cold turkey" with him. I decided one day to just take the pull ups/diapers away and switched to underwear. That first day was tough, but by the second day, he started to get it. It progressed daily from there. I used the padded cotton training underwear. They look and feel just like regular underwear but have a little more padding to catch the accidents when they happen. I also put the plastic training pants over them so if he did have an accident, it wouldn't mess up all his clothes all the time. He was in preschool at the time and they worked with him consistently too.

Bottom line, lots of praise and keep at it. It'll work eventually. I thought my son would never get it. In fact, we're still trying to master night time training.

Good luck to you.



answers from Boston on

Hi S.,
I am going through the same thing with my son he will be 4 in march I also have tried everything it is frustrating. I have had no progress but I just waned to let you know you are not the only one. Good luck I hope she does it soon. God Bless M..



answers from Boston on

Hi S.,

I just came across your messages. I'm new to this group.
A few years back, I was running a website and wrote an article that apparently is still up and around on the internet. Here is one link I found
Hopefully you will find this article helpful. Please don't be discouraged, your daughter will be potty trained.
I hope everything is going well with you.

Take Care,



answers from Burlington on

are you still using diapers/pull-ups? my daughter will be 2.5 in january and is fully potty trained. she was using the potty inconsistantly for a long time, until i just plain stopped buying the damn things, lol. it's been about 2 months since i've bought a package of pull-ups and we have very few accidents.

the only bribe we've got going is that she has to continue using the potty or else she can't go skiing this winter and that one throws her right in a tizzy



answers from New York on

Hi S....How r u...Hope all is well...I am new to the site...And just thought I would share my advice with a mom of 2 boys and a daughter...For my boys I read in a magazine...That u should have an open door policy...Let them see how u use the bathroom...And then they would want to do the same as u...That is how my boys learn...As for my daughter she is almost 9mths old...So i still have some time with her...But as they say they would learn at there own pace...Best of luck to you...



answers from Boston on

Hi Stepanie,
I can totally relate. I was so frustrated trying to potty train my oldest son. He turned 4 in September. I also have a 2 yr. old son and a 4mth old daughter. I was so sick and tired of changing all those diapers, not to mention the expense of 3 kids in diapers. I bribed him with everything under the sun toys, candy, treats. Nothing worked. I consulted my pediatrician, friends, my mother, co-workers etc. for advice. Everyone said he'll do it when he's ready. Of course everyone has an opinion. Finally one day I woke up and told him I refused to put him in diapers anymore. We had bought big boy underpants with past attempts and I put him in them. The first day or two was rough. We had alot of accidents. I knew he could do it though because he had used the potty correctly in the past. Frequent reminders helped a little. He doesn't like being wet and he knew I meant business. It took a couple of weeks and a lot of patience and understanding, but he's trained. He still wears a diaper to bed at night but we'll be getting rid of those soon. Have faith, it will happen.
Good luck!
A. S

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches