Help - I'm Fatter than Ever and Can't Get Motivated to Get on Track!!!!

Updated on August 19, 2008
E.C. asks from Long Beach, CA
16 answers

Hi Everyone,

Well, my subject line really says it all...I am so ticked off at myself on a daily basis for letting my weight get so out of control. That said, I just can't seem to get motivated to DO anything about it. Please share what you do that works with me - maybe one of your tactics will work amd will help me get off my butt and lose this weight!

Currently I walk with my kids in the stroller for about 1 hour a day, but I eat WAY too much...I know that...which is why I'm still struggling. And, when I'm not eating way too much, I'm eating all the wrong stuff...convenience eating (fast food, PB&J sandwiches, etc.) which I know is wrong.

I'm actually very well educated on the nutrition front (I've done Weight Watchers like 15 times in my life, and I work with several nutritionists professionally, but not in a capacity where they would help me directly), I "know" what I should do to lose the weight, just can't get motivated - it is some kind of mental block I'm having or something.

Help!!!

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey E.,
I am so sorry that you are in such a bad place right now. I know exactly now you feel. I too am a "WW" dropout umpteen times.

Will you email me directly so we can talk. I would love to help you get motivated.
I hope to hear from you.
Annalise
[email protected]____.com

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just started the Six Week Body Makeover a week and a half ago. I love this more than any diet plan I've ever had. I feel really good on it. and I am not hungry! I like it because it's customized for the indiviual. I feel like this is the first "person" who understood why I found it so hard to loose weight in the past. I wish you well, and hope you find something that helps you.

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey E.,

I am a weight watcher leader and also have struggled forever with my weight. I find two things motivating - 1. give yourself a do-able goal with a "reward" at the end. Make the reward something that you REALLY want - so you have a reason to make it work - like a day at the spa or something else that will really motivate you. 2. Set a small goal - like 5 pounds - if you think even 30 you will get discouraged if you're not there. I often think in 1 pound increments and find it easier to swallow. Once you start losing, that will be motivation to keep going its getting that first step. If you want to come to my meeting for free i'm the leader Tuesday nights in Santa Monica at 6pm. I'd be happy to coach you through it.

R.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am an exercise physiologist and fitness coach and have worked with a lot of people that feel the same way you do. I think the best thing to do is to start writing everything down. Write down what you are eating and write down how much exercise you are doing. It is hard to make changes unless you are really being honest with what you are eating and how active you really are.

I would also recommend getting a pedometer and start measuring your activity level. The active person should aim to do 10,000 steps a day. Once you get your pedometer write down how many steps you are walking every day and then try to add on 500 more. I would also recommend getting a heart rate monitor. In order to lose weight you have to make sure that your are exercising hard enough. Many people that think they are active are surprised at how low their heart rate is when they are working out.

There is a great book out there called Un-Dieting by Jackie Jaye Brandt and Diana Lipson Burge. It is all about finding a way to eat for the rest of your life. The truth is that Diets don't really work. You have to find a way of eating that fits into your lifestyle. With two young children you will need to be flexbile but if you choose foods from every food group, and get the most nutrition out of your calories, and find ways to balance your food with your activity you will be on track to reaching your goals.

You will hear a lot of different weight loss success stories with different diets and activities. The key is you have to find what is going to work for you. By writing things down and using a pedometer and heart rate monitor as your motivational tools you may find it a little bit easier to stay motivated.

If I can help you at all please let me know. My website is www.healthybalancefitness.com

N.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi E.,
I can relate!
Let me tell you what I've been doing with some success:

Firstly: My sister and a friend and I started emailing eachother daily/weekly with support and challenges to help ourselves be accountable to eachother. Nothing fancy. Just "Hey girls, last night I had chicken and vegetables, and skipped the bread. Tomorrow I'm getting up 5 minutes early and doing jumping jacks." So doing the emails, I got support and also (in my mind) a little competition to spur me along. Doing this I lost 5 pounds! Then I got pregnant with DD#2! Sigh.

Secondly, I don't eat after 6:30-7:00pm. Even if I'm hungry. Because the truth is, I'm really not hungry. And if I was hungry, I'm really in no danger of starving to death. :)
Also, try to stock the house with healthy fast food: blueberries and yogurt, fiber cereal, salads in a bag, etc.

Thirdly-and this is the kicker-You have to expend more calories than you take in. I know you know this. Having kids makes it hard to find the time and energy. But if you are already walking for an hour, perhaps you can take it up to a jog? Jog 10 mins, walk 5 mins, jog 10 mins, etc. Get a pedometer! You tend to walk more with a pedometer than just timing your walks.
Also-if at all possible-maybe you can take a class(tennis, salsa dancing, volleyball) through your city. That's the best way to get in shape, really. Just having fun and YOU time. You'll start feeling great in no time!

Now if I can just take my own advice!

If you would like to email eachother with support I'm totally into that. I need a little motivation myself.

Take care and good luck! Get out there and do some lunges!

E.

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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

strollerstrides.com It is the most motivating, fun way to get back in shape and you get to bring the kids and use the stroller during your workout! Plus, the moms get a chance to get the support and friendship they need! You will enjoy it so much, you won't even realize that you are burning major calories!

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V.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey E.,

Feeling you!! I myself was always a size 2 till I had my daughter who is now 16 and struggled with my weight on and off since then!! This last two years I got real depressed due to losing my brother and mother-in-law (which I took care of till she passed away) in the same year!! I packed on 45 pounds and on my 4"11 frame, I was a big "mama"!! I was in a size 16 and feeling like a pig!! My husband would in his own way try to tell me that I was getting too big, but would brush him off by telling him to go and find him a "skinny" wife if that what he wanted!! Excuses, excuses, excuses....this is what I came up with everytime it was time for me to do something about it!! I use to jog everyday for 5 miles, ate whatever I wanted and remained a size 2....so I knew what I needed to do!! Well, I started listening to a CD of "the secret", reading about people who had to loss 100+ pounds and watching shows that had the same motivation factors!! I was also invited to attend my brothers 60th birthday in South Africa and that was my real motivation!! I had 5 months to loss about 25 pounds, enough to get back into a size 9 and that was my goal!! I started working out at least 2 hours a day, doing a weight training dvd in the mornings and walking in the afternoon for about 45 minutes!! All my meals were cut in half!! Even when I would go out to eat, I would order a close to healthy meal, and when the waitress would bring the food I would ask for a to go box right away and then scope half the food off my plate, so what you don't see, you don't want!! Taking vitamins and sam-e for my mood and didn't vary much from my schedule, always staying focused, motivated and best of all "determinte"!!! By the time I left for my trip I lost 30 pounds, fit into a size 7-8 and was feeling very good about myself, didn't tell anyone about my weight loss even though people started to notice!! Got rid of all my size X-large,large and any size 16 to 12 clothes that were in my closet and woed never to go back there again!! That was 5 months ago and am still going strong with about 20 more pounds to lose!! I reset my schedule to once a day work outs for at least 1 hour, still practice cutting my foods in half and am much more aware of my weight!!! It was hard work and losing that first few pounds seems like it took forever but just hang in there and it will all be worth it!! Just remember "you" are the only one that is going to take care of you and everything that need to be done that involves you is up to "you"!! So get off your tosh, and start planning a weight loss program that will work for E.!!! Good Luck and if you need a buddy to support you I'm at [email protected]____.com!! By the way I am 44, with two kids, son 17 and daughter 16 and have been married for 18 years!! V.

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

until you fiond out why you over eat no diet will work for you , people think they have to start with the diet,first you find out why you over eat then you diet so the diet works, most of the time in fact 99.9 % over eat for comfy food or eat out of quilt... bored, ect.. you can't solve the problem with out first finding the solution.

You will just do this over & over & Over again .. lose .. gain.. lose...gain... lose .. gain.. not good on your body.

good luck ooo by the way what you put in your mouth is a choice not an option

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your biggest challenge is the food factor. I'm not sure where you live but the easiest way to get back on track with food is to walk to your local farmers market and take the kids. Buying fresh fruit and vegetables is not only a great motivator to eat healthy but it also exposes your kids to eating the right way. Walking too and from the market will provide you some exercise and from the sounds of things you are already walking daily so you are on the right track. You may want to change your idea on convenience foods too. Hummus and carrot sticks is not only convenient but healthy too. Subway is a better choice than any of the hamburger places so if you have to do fast food choose a healthier choice. Good luck

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V.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello E.. I sympathize with you 100%. I went through that, and am currently going through it, except that I'm pregnant (more weight gain! ugh!!) and can't do a whole lot. One thing that motivated me many years ago, and actually worked (for me) was keep "fat" pictures of myself handy. I was told that keeping my "skinny me" pictures around would help but it didn't. I would look at them and get depressed, thinking I could never get back to that size, and say "screw it", and eat more and become more of a couch potato. I found that when I looked at pictures of me at that current weight, especially side shots where I could see everything hanging over (YUCK!) I became disgusted with myself and therefore motivated to do something about it. I kept one on my bulletin board at my desk at work, where the majority of my eating out of boredom was done, one on the fridge, and one in my wallet, so that everytime I opened it to pay for fast food, I would change my mind. Of course, like I mentioned, this worked for me, and may not work for you, but it's worth a try. There's nothing to lose (no pun intended!) if you don't try it. Best of luck to you! :)

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P.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My twin boys are now 22 months and I couldn't drop the last 20 pounds of baby weight. I was eating everything in sight and junk galore. Like you I have used WW successfully in the past and am very well versed in nutrition. What I knew I needed was something that was controlled. I knew if I did WW again I would eat all my points by lunch ... so I went to Jenny Craig. I use the pre-set menu and follow it to a 'T' - there is some flexibility in adding in vegetables (as many as you want) and a few free foods (sugar-free if you don't mind the fake sugars - I really try to limit these because I am still nursing) and 3 limited free foods. It does have a big fee up front and I spend about $100 a week on their food, plus fruits and veggies, but I know it is for a limited time. It has worked for me so far (I have lost 13 1/2 pounds in 9 weeks, averaging 1 1/2 pounds per week) because it got me to cut out the junk that I was mindlessly eating. Plus it is quick and easy - I microwave my food while I am feeding the boys. When I take the time to make a salad, I do it during their nap. I usually eat my dinner with the boys, and then more veggies or fruit after we put them to sleep to keep my husband company while he is eating dinner.

Good luck - I know it is frustrating. P.

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B.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey E.!

We hear ya! I actually really like to exercise, but I like to eat more, and motivation is always a huge factor for me. A couple other gals mentioned two things, both of which have also worked for me.

First, I joined Stroller Strides when my son was 3 months
(he's now 8 months) and not only is it a great workout but I actually want to go every day because I have made lots of friends and my son likes it too. If that isn't feesible for you, make sure to incorporate somne type of strength training into your walking routine.

Secondly, I started SparkPeople, a free, totally awesome web-site, that I felt was similar to WW but easier, at least for me. I use it to track my food/nutrition, get information and inspiration, and chat with others. So far, I have lots 20 lbs!

I know it is really hard to get started, and even sometimes just to keep up the momentum, but the goal is progress, not perfection. I just remember, and often write down, how good I feel when I eat better and am more active. Good luck to you!

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey E.,

I'm on my way to losing 15 of the last stubborn baby weight I have. What seems to be working for me is eating about every 2-3 hours and keeping to 1400 calories a day. Hopefully you know for your body type how many calories you need. Trick is to keep that metabolism going by fueling yourself all the time with the right things. I'll give you a quick run down of what I do: Breakfast at 7 is an egg and a piece of whole grain toast with tsp of marg. Snack at 10am of raw almonds and yogurt or apple and pb (about 100-150 cals). Lunch at 1pm is a salad and low cal soup or small piece of fish and veg (try to keep it around 400 cals). Another snack at 4 of cottage cheese and unsweetened applesauce or 100 cal snack. And then dinner of small 3 oz piece of chicken or fish, 1/2 cup brown rice and veg. I try to exercise 3-4 times a week as well but a challenge with the little one. This takes off about a pound a week for me. Slow going but keeps it off. I;m sure you know that sugar (particularly high fructose corn syrup) packs on the pounds and for me, whenever I deny myself a meal thats right where I go to. Sweets!!! But if you can get a good system of cutting the calories but keep yourself fueled thats a good start. The ABS Diet book helped me come up with this system that is pretty foolproof for me. And honestly, what keeps me motivated is knowing I can do up my pants : ) Best of luck!

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I hear ya! If it's not one thing it's another. I once used WW's and shed 50 lbs but I just couldn't get motivated to try it this time. Check out www.sparkpeople.com . It's a great community that's free with lots of helpful resources. Remember you are so NOT alone!! If you ever want to talk, feel free to e-mail [email protected]____.com

H.

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L.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi E.,

You have gotten some really great advice. I myself been doing the rollar coster thing with my weight too. I had my little ones within 14 months of eachother so I have to get rid of two pregnancy weights.

I would always eat for comfort when I was feeling down and I found that if I got myself out the door, never an easy task I was able to not think about the food so much. Still it didn't seem to help all that much.

I recently discovered a vitimin supplment drink call Verve. It gives you the energy of Red Bull but is soo much healthier for you and you don't have that annoying little crash at the end of the day.

I didn't know this when I started drinking it but it can also be used as a dietary supplement. I know someone who lost 35lbs who used it as a part of her daily rountine. Of course she was exercising too it's not like I'm saying you can drink this stuff and you'll loose wieight. For me that is just a side benefit. I love the energy I'm getting back when I drink it. Chasing a 1 and 2 year old around I need the exta boost.
If your interested let me know if your local I can get some samples to you.

Wishing you well

L.

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds like emotional eating which can be tough to reprogram, but not undoable. You already know the nutrition end, look at the emotional component. How's you self esteem these days? I'm guessing not that great and the weight is not helping. I'm a big proponent of affirmations. This is one I've used over the years-
Divine Love works in me and through me now and always.
It reminds yourself of that divine spark that lives in each of us. Be sure to look your best always. Treat yourself to a manicure, facial, whatever it is that makes you feel special.
Remind yourself how great you used to feel about yourself and recapture that feeling. You are worth the effort!

You might also consider hypnosis to help you along the way. It is a great tool for many issues and it feels great. I'm guessing you would not have to do too many sessions to see results. You are always aware of what is going on and it is one of the most relaxing things I've ever done. You and the hypnotherapist will talk a little bit about what is going on in your life right now to get to what is driving this blah feeling and work on turning it around. Sometimes dieting alone is not enough. Good luck!

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