HELP! Frustrated Mom Seeks Others Advice with 2-3Year Old...

What jumped out at me is when you said the word "threaten"...you can't threaten...kids know when you mean it and when you are just threatening. It sounds like whatever method you choose to use...i definitely would suggest spanking along with time-out.. you have to follow through EVERY time. Don't miss once doing what you say you will do. He needs to learn there are consequences and that you are the one in charge. Once you have followed through for a period of time he will get the message. Dont stop until he does...that's how long it will take. Every child is different. He will continue to test you and you have to prove him wrong EVERY time. I hope this helps, don't give up.

Hi C.. I thought I'd throw out yet another option to you.
I have twin boys and they are as different as night and day also. They were both challenging, however, one was a lot more so than the other! After trying many different methods to correct him ( and crying out of frustration nightly) I found a method that worked with him that sounds absolutely crazy (and yes, even at that young age). I just sat him down and talked to him. I know how this sounds but it did and still does work for him.
Just for kicks some things I remember:
1. (18 mos) Every night they emptied the dresser and threw the clothes on the floor.
2. (2yrs) They escaped out of the 6ft fenced yard when I had to use the bathroom and were running circles in the middle of the street.
3. (2yrs) He opened the front door and went for walks. This I found the locks that they use in the hotel rooms worked great!!!

Hang in there. It will work.

Hi Candace. I have two "opposite" children as well, with the youngest being the one that does not comply. It's been frustrating to try to understand why the exact same, highly successful parenting techniques used with my firstborn simply do not work with my second child. It just doesn't make any sense. I guess this falls under the "all children are different" mantra. But it doesn't make things easier.

One method I've been trying is, instead of piling on more and more "don't do" negative feedback/reactions, is to give positive reinforcement for the behaviors I want. For example, my son will not leave his socks and shoes on in the car (which is one of those silly little things that drives me crazy, on top of everything else he does.) I bought a rubber stamp and kid-safe ink pad, and I give each child a stamp on their hand or belly when they are put in the car with shoes and socks on...and then promise them another stamp if the shoes and socks are still on shen we get to the store. Negative feedback, scolding him, etc. never keeps his shoes on. But I amazed that the stamp seems to be working!

I don't believe this can help with the major behaviors (hitting, etc.) but sometimes I find it's nice to see a small difference with the little things. The positive spin makes me, the kids and the household a little lighter and happier. I wonder if this might be something to try with the dining problems. Best of luck to you.

My oldest was my real nightmare child. She stopped napping and starting climbing out of her crib at 8 months old. I am not kidding. I remember one day she was almost 2, I had buckled her into the high chair (5 point harness) and sat her in front of the TV so I could take a shower. While in the shower I heard my phone ringing incessantly..cell phone, home phone, cell phone, home phone, etc. So I figured something was up I got out of the shower and answered the phone. My neighbor down the block had my daughter and my dog at her house. She managed to unbuckle herself and decided to take my 80 lb dog for a walk. She also climbed out her bedroom window twice. Once was while in her bedroom for a 2 minute time out when she was 2. Timer was set, she has 2 windows in her bedroom, both of them were locked. There is a small window probably 3 feet above her bed which opens to the roof of our garage. When the timer went off, we caught her with her body out and her feet still barely in the room. She had moved a horse to her bed to climb on it and out the window. Second time she was 2 1/2, I had a newborn, I was feeding the newborn about 6 in the morning and afterwards thought that it was extra quiet in her room. Don't know what possessed me to check on her, but she had unlocked the main window which was wide open and goes down 2 stories to concrete. I flipped out assuming she was dead on the concrete and found that she managed to shimmy herself over about a foot out her window onto our back deck. She also would get up at 3-4am and sneak around trying to make grilled cheese, using the stove and all, etc. (at least yours wakes you up!) So, now that you know you aren't alone, here's what we did...
1) Doors are all locked with a hook and eye at the top of the door that they can't reach. Try to do this when he isn't watching you.. the real smart ones figure out soon enough that they can move a chair and put something on the chair to climb on and reach that too, but hopefully by that time you've found him!
2) This includes the bedrooms, once they are in for the night, they are in for the night. I don't have to lock the kids bedrooms anymore...after a month or so of trying to get out, she figured out that she couldn't.
3) I had to nail her windows shut, yes I know it's a fire hazard, but I weighed the odds on chances of fire vs. chances of her climbing out again and nailing the windows won (I have since taken them out, she is now almost 6 and my others wouldn't dream of doing that)
4) My problem with dinner..may be yours too..is that they thought they could take food all day long without asking. So all junk type food (chips, fruit snacks, candy received from birthday parties/holidays, etc.) was either completely removed from the house or locked in my closet where they couldn't get it (still is to this day)
4) These are all physical deterrents, and will help you know that your kids are safe where they belong so you can get some sleep and be less anxious, but you have to work on the mental deterrents also through positive reinforcement. We used sticker charts and rules charts and meal charts.
Sticker chart worked like this:
On a big poster board, write down all the rules that you want him to master on the left hand side. Don't try to work on too many at once, keep your expectations low for that age, and make it so that he can succeed in phase 1. I would start with the biggies..no going outside without an adult/without asking - should be easy enough with the doors locked! maybe add something you don't have a problem with like no hitting, biting, pushing, kicking, etc. or whatever else.
In this period, try to ignore behavior that you haven't made a rule about yet and focus on the behavior that is a rule. Always give positive reinforcement.
In the middle of this chart is where every night he puts a sticker on the rule that he obeyed every day.
On the right side of this chart is a list of prizes he can win when he gets 5 out of 7 stickers for the week or whatever your goal is (eventually work up to perfection!)
Prizes can be anything within your budget and even free.. go to the park, extra story at night with mom, pick out a toy at the dollar store, whatever it is that he is excited with. Make sure your prize isn't something you do every day or stop doing it every day during this period so he only gets it if he makes his goals. So you start by explaining the house rules, make sure he understands, and letting him pick out potential prizes. Follow through is key. You have to go over the rules and do the stickers every night and you have to give him his prizes.
The meal chart is just simple..
Mine says at the top "TIME TO EAT??"
and then I list when it's time to eat..
Breakfast 7a-8a
Lunch 11-12p
Healthy Snack 3p-3:30p
Dinner 5p-6p
When they ask me for food at any other time, I tell them to look at the chart and tell me if they can have it. You will have to explain further to him since he can't tell time yet. But the point is that if they know what the rules are about food, he will stop asking to eat at 3am. And if you eliminate any other snacking times, he will be hungry for dinner. Also make sure you are including him on the dinner preparation/choices. Now we don't want macaroni and cheese every night, but you might want to add another chart about whose choice it is to pick what you are having for dinner so he feels he gets a say. He can pick every Tuesday and Thursday for example, your other son on Monday and Friday, and you pick Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday or whatever. If he picks oatmeal, you have oatmeal (and then you can eat something else after he's fast asleep!)
Hope this helps! I can tell you that it will work eventually and that yelling and spanking don't work at all (we were there too.. it just encouraged her to yell and hit which was another bad habit we had to work through) Good luck!

Take a deep breath.
You used some very important words...threats, boundaries, never,refuse, yell, punishment, nothing....What is needed is consistent discipline. Your son needs this or will grow into yet an even bigger terror! Look ahead at what you want him to be as a grown man and do what it takes to get it. Consequences are a natural way of life. Start now and be firm. The parent ALWAYS has win the battles we chose. It is going top tougher than you think, but the rewards will be worth it. Boys your sons (and their future wives) will respect, love, and honor you for your efforts now.

Read Dobson. Read Leman. Get a helper! Talk to your sons, explain the plan, how the system is going to work (this is the part YOU have to be sure of ahead of time!), and then follow through! Say what you mean; Do what you say.

Pray!! xo Remember who the parent is - YOU! Be loving...

Wow! Blessings to you for all you are doing on top of being a great mom. I know you're a great mom because you are seeking help to make life better for your family. Be encouraged.

Your son sounds just like my nephew. He is 6 now and continues to be a challenge. Much of the advice you have recieved matches up with what we did so I won't repeat it. What I wll say it this; for our family the shift began when we changed our perception and verbeage in referance to my nephew. We realized that he was internalizing our expectation for him to "be bad", and then fulfilling that expectation.

We had to all sit down and think about what makes him a great kid. Here's some of how we shifted or thinking.
1 - His wild abbandon for life also means that he has the most amazing spirit for laughter. On the darkest days he will get the family to giggling about nothing.
2- his lack of fear, means that he will try anything. Such willingness to expereiment and think outside the box will serve him well later in school and in life. (try using it in your case to broaden dietary choices if that is his issue)
3- his hig activity level also translates into a tremndous charisma. While we were frustrated with him, there was no denying how much we all love him.

In other words, spend some time thinking about his gifts. Then share these insights with him. Helping him to refocus where this adventurous attitude is used will empower him to live into the person he is but also function well in society.

For us, it's working slowly. Good luck.

Hi C.,

Well, I don't know what the other moms will have to say but here is my 2 cents worth...
I went through the SAME THING with my oldest son who is now almost 8 years old, it was , sorry to say, hell. I could not begin to tell you how many days i cried myself to sleep, or locked myself into a room instead of giving him time-out (again) and all the stories of him trying to "escape" the house, run away, it was a nightmare. My other 4 children have never acted this way, thanks God!
All I can really say is this: be patient, it will pass. One day you really and truly will look back and laugh at it all, I swear to you. For the dinner problem, you could try:
1- cut out all snacks so he'll be extra hungry
2- make a menu which you know he will like, ie: ask him, what do you want to eat for supper on M,T,W etc.. and then post this menu so he will see what he has to look forward to
3- cut out all sweets if possible (hyperactivity)
4- if it is really so bad, there is a place I know of called "Tuesday's Child" which deals w/ many issues in toddlers (ie: ADD, ADHD, hyperactivity, etc) and they really do help you work through the situation...its fees are based on a sliding scale
5- if the discipline won't help (as you say time out, spaking, etc), try this: IGNORE him for like 20 minutes, tell him "I'm not going to speak to you" and watch how he will be chasing after you for those 20 minutes apologizing
Ok,
not sure if any of this will help but maybe just knowing that others have been there and done that will give you some relief,
HANG IN THERE! my mom always said: little babies, little problems, big babies, big problems...in the end, try to enjoy this little guy even if for 1 minute each day:)

I have a 7 and 3 year old. I get how tired you are. My daughter gets up 2 to 3 times a night. You have to be strong and let him cry it out 3 days of it and he will be over getting up in the middle of the night. I had to try this several differnt times as my daughter would throw up so I had to keep trying until she didn't throw up when she got so upset it will get better. The behavior we throw our kids toys away trust me we only had to throw them away once the rest of the time we threaten and walk to the garbage can and they change their tune quick. Good luck

C., I am a single mother, too, and I know how difficult it is. I HIGHLY recommend you meet with Dr. Marc Weissbluth, a pediatrician, and he will give you a sleep/ routine/response plan that will help you all tremendously. His number is ###-###-####. Meet with him as a pediatrician. If you submit the charge to your insurance, they will pay you back. Anything you are doing that reinforces behavior will keep the behavior going -- and it sound sto me like you are reinforcing everything you don't want. Yelling, spanking, etc are NOT helpful. In fact, they reinforce the bad behavior. Please get a good sleep schedule and nutrition plan -- it will save you!!

Hi, I know you'll get lots of advice on his behavior, but one thing I would like to stress is diet. Don't underestimate the power of good food. Try to eliminate anything with artificial colors and flavors - anything thing with art. Red especially. My oldest son is very sensitive to artificial colors and flavors and it's his behavior that is affected! If you are giving a treat then make sure it's homemade or from a more "wholesome" company that doesn't use those ingredients. Also - try to stay away from starchy snacks, which will keep him from eating his dinner (kids this age do not eat a lot to begin with so if he eats pretzels or goldfish at 2/3 then he won't be hungry - they're too filling). Instead make it fruit or fresh veggies (my kids have learned to love sugar snap peas, snow peas, sweet peppers, raw/cooked carrots). If there are no other options than eventually they'll eat! Good luck! Hang in there.

C.,
It sounds like your son is just like my oldest, who is 3.5. I have two boys, 3.5 and 20 months. The oldest one does just what you described. You may want to talk with your pediatrician about this because my son was diagnosed with sensory issues. He has a constant need to be moving, jumping, standing on his head. He can't sit still long enough to eat a meal. He also has no regard for his safety and would run from me at the store, in a parking lot, everywhere. He has never been a good sleeper and still to this day he wakes up about twice a night. He was getting speech therapy through EI and the speech therapist was the one who noticed the behavior and recommended he get evaluated. Since he was only about 2.5 he still qualified for EI services and they did the evaluation. I was able to get him a couple of OT sessions before the EI services ended on his third birthday. Now I take him to a behavior therapist at the Illinois Masonic Pediatric Development Center and he has had some OT there as well. Thankfully my insurance is accepted there. But it was a challenge finding a place that takes my insurance and doesn't have a LONG waiting list. He has a "sensory diet" the OT developed, with a list of activities to satisfy his need for movement or nervous system imput.
So I would suggest you ask for an evaluation from your doctor and maybe you can still squeeze in under EI - although they tend to move slow since there is a long list of people waiting for services. Feel free to ask me questions if you have them and GOOD LUCK! I know what you are going through and it is emotionally and physically draining!!

You deserve a lot of credit being on your own, raising children, working, and going to school. You got great advice here but one thing I wanted to add was about running out of the house. Buy simple barrel locks for your screen/storm doors and put them up high enough that you and your older child can reach them to get out (or deadbolt locks for big doors). Keep them locked at all times when inside the house to prevent your little one from getting out. Another easier idea is to put childproof knobs on each doorknob. They have to learn to squeeze both sides in order to open the door. They sell these at Walmart in the baby section. Count on your friends and family to help you get some rest. Sleep is the key to how you handle the day to day stress. Try feeding your 2 yr old dinner before he goes to bed or give him a healthy snack about 30 minutes before he goes to bed. Establish a good bedtime routine (bath, brush teeth, story, prayers) and stick to it and soon you all will be sleeping soundly. Tell him he needs to sleep all night to get big and strong and that mommy needs her rest to be happy and healthy. Good luck to you.

My first son was very similar to this. However, I tried to be as consistent as possible (e.g., responding the same way every time he misbehaved) and by the time he was 4 he was able to fully understand his actions (at 2-3 they do not have the reasoning to understand why not to do many things) and was much easier to handle. However, it can be very hard to deal with them and be patient. Another thing that helped was that when he was 3.5 I took him to a program called Tuesday's Child (http://www.tuesdayschildchicago.org/) on the north side of Chicago. You may want to consider this if you live anywhere near there. This helped a LOT. The most effective things I learned at the program (thought it is different for everyone) was to give lots of positive reinforcement. So to look for things to praise and be sure to praise as often as possible. This both tells the child that you think they are a good kid (kids live up to our expectations of them) and also tells them the behaviors they should be doing. I would recommend that you just try taking a 1 or 2 hour period of each day and trying to praise him for doing something good (e.g., playing quietly, cleaning up) about every 5-10 minutes. See if this helps improve his behavior (it certainly did for my kid, and put me in a much better mood too since I was looking for good things instead of bad things).
Good luck!

you should try limiting sugar, including chocolate milk, sodas, fruit drinks sugar is in everything and start a nightly routine at six we eat have him be mommys big helper and help make the meal, enforce the poliet bite rule everyone takes a poliet bite and if they don't like it they don't have to eat it,make something simple like a pb&j many times after tasting food a dozen times they will eat it also a small reward for a clean plate, then after dinner it's bath time, story time and lights out.. The important thing is to be consistant and stick to the routine and if he chooses not eat he can learn that the next meal is morning it will not hurt a child to be hungry for a few hours even though it breaks our hearts to know it. This will help reinforce moms rules and he will learn that he does not get to make the rules it will be hard but kids need strong boundries and rules. As far as his extra energy a nice walk or trip to the park(could be clean plate reward) could burn of some and redirect his attention also make it fun turn it into a scavenger hunt search for tresures ( usually rocks and feathers are pretty exciting) try to make it fun for the both of you. good luck!

Wow C., you have so much going on. This may sound crazy but maybe your youngest needs a little more positive attention from you. I am SURE that your day is already over loaded with things and finding extra time sounds impossible. But two years old is still very young. I experienced something similar this year when I went back to work. My youngest became the king of temper tantrums. Spending more one on one time with him was the answer. Maybe you could have a favorite book at the table with you so that you could read together while you eat. (not the greatest habit, but may get him to sit.) My three year old sometimes just won't eat with us either. This does make things hard, but I try to keep in mind that being a kid is still harder than being an adult. Make a bigger pot of oatmeal and keep it in the fridge so that you can warm it up without any hassle when he gets hungry. Although structure is what children need, sometimes we need to work out what best fits them, i.e. eating oatmeal before he goes to sleep. Maybe his little body doesn't need to go to sleep as early as 7? Maybe you could read with him an extra 15 minutes as a prelude to going to sleep.

Also, is he in a day care program? Make sure they are not loading him up with sweets throughout the day.

You will certainly get to you goals, but remember that he is just a little guy and needs as much attention that you can give him too! It sounds like you are a great mother who is doing so much for her boys.

Good luck!!

My son is/was like yours. He is now 4 and is listening much better. My son has Sensory Processing Disorder. I have no idea if your son does, but you might look it up to see if anything fits. My son is a completely different child after occupational therapy, which really taught us how to help him.

As for not eating dinner and being hungry during the night -- I buy Organic Cereal bars (Panda puff bars and Koala puff bars) and fruit like bananas and apples. I leave one food item on the kitchen table at my son's spot when I go to bed. That is what he eats if he's up before me. Good luck!

Hi C., you've gotten lots of good advice here but I'd like to throw in one more general thing. Please try to stop seeing him as a terror and a problem child. Yes he is a handful and very different from your other child. That doesn't make him a bad kid, but I fear you are stigmatizing him and it will continue to become a self fulfilling prophecy. I know several people who grew up with that put on them from their parents and it really was crucial to forming who they are. Don't apply the same expectations from your first child onto your second child. They are individuals. Clearly you must find ways of dealing with this child that work for both of you, but he presents a completely different set of challenges, that's all. You can do it. Good luck.

Hi C.,
First, you are not alone. I am a mom of a special needs son who is now 6. We went through every stage to the 10th degree. Every normal cycle of development my son was unberable.
What worked for us is first survival mode. We put locks on the doors, padded our ceramic tile so if he did throw himself down we could ignore him and made a safe way to keep him in his room at night - without locking him in. Secondly, we started with 1,2,3 magic but also used Scream Free Parenting seminar and books.
In a nut shell, we gave our son lots of positive attention and let him master the small stuff. It was amazing how impowered he was when we let him help out putting the pasta in the pan (no heat of course). BTW - he also does not eat, so letting him help prepare dinner he also ate better. So he knew how proud we were when he was being helpful.
On the flip side - we stood our ground on the 1,2,3 you out method - unless it is dangerous then it is straight to a 3. I think this gives them a chance to reverse there behavior but the boundry is set. Then at 3 we put him in his room with a timer (1 minute for each year). The door was open a few inches so he could see out but could not open it - this took sometime to develop.
Be prepared, when you set boundries it gets worse before it gets better.
After the time we talk a bit about the rules then moved on. We never dwelled on the bad behavior.
You other son maybe naturally more complient and your younger son is looking for were he fits in, so if he is the difficult one then he will fullfil that label.
I wish you luck and much patience.

My 3 year old is also into everything, likes to escape when shopping. Luckily he hasn't escaped outside yet. I would put bells around the knob and install a lock up high. As far as the nap issue. Mine is still napping, and I wish he wouldn't because he doesn't want to sleep until late when he does nap. My other 2 quit napping at 2 years. As far as eating dinner, you should make him sit until he finish eating. Make sure he is not snacking too much before dinner. Try to stay calm. Some kids enjoy getting a rise out of you. You can try taking away a favorite toy instead. Punishment should be every time in place of yelling and spanking. He should know that there will be consequences to his actions. Be sure that he knows to ask before playing outside. You should take a trip to the park or set aside some play time outside. Toddlers are handfuls but they grow up. Good luck.

Hi C.,

I see you have alot of responses, but I'll make it as brief as I can. My 3rd child did not sleep very well at night or during the day. He was like that from birth. He was up atleast 3 times and just miserable or he would want to play. He would not eat dinner (or any meal) with us, he was fussy and mean to his older siblings (but not all the time) He liked to be alone or just with me. He liked his chocolate milk and drank alot thoughout the day so I thought maybe that filled him up. Parties were the worst. I kept telling the Dr something wasn't right, after awhile of telling the Dr we did allergy tests and found he was allergic to alot of food (too many to name)which made him not feel well after eatng, but he didn't know how or why he felt this way. After 2 weeks of modified food planning, and alot of bribing, my son felt better, behaved better slept better and ate alot better. He was very allegic to eggs and milk, and had no outward symptoms such as hive or rashes. Never complained about his tummy, NOTHING. His reactions were emotional and behavioral. Sorry this wasn't as short as I thought it would be. I hope this gives you something to think about. Good Luck!! Keep your cool and this to shall pass.

C. B

I would make it a REALLY BIG DEAL when the older child does something "well" or "good." Just gush over him when he puts his coat away or eats his dinner well. And give him special hugs and stuff when he gets up after going to bed on time.
That might spark a little jealousy in the little one and he may start emulating his older brother so he gets the special attention, too.

And of course when he does do something the way he's supposed to make sure he knows you noticed it! Try being overdramatic "WOW! WHAT A GOOD BOY!!"

Good luck to ya and God Bless the Single Mom.

Well now that the weather is nice you need to exaust him with bike riding ,the park,& long walks. Get a pass to the childrens museum all hands on and loads of fun. He needs stimulation thats all. Hell I would love to have the energy of a two yr old. Boys that are like your son have a great imagination and are very curious, don't hault it expand it. Boys that have the devil in there eye like my grandma called it are a challenge, so challenge him till he's all tired out . Boy this age love projects also sit him down with some noodles paper and glue it's messy but so what, he can be doing a project while you cook dinner. And he'll love seeing his handy work hanging on the fridge.go to Micheals let him pick out project work feathers colored paper popsicle sticks. His projects will be your relaxation time just to know he's staying put. Mind you know they may not last long or he might just want to do 2 or 3. Good luck hey it does get better they grow and lay on the couch ahhaha

First of all, you are one terrific person taking care of those two little ones, doing all that you do and this too shall pass. I don't have any amazing witty words but I have been there done that and it is the most difficult yet most rewarding thing on earth being a mommy. BTW if you are willing to share, where is the dad? He should be helping you if not in the sleep, food, temperament capacity at least having some time with the children so you can study, etc. I can only say that raising the children in the exact same house is different also because they are different people. I learned that consistency is pretty much the necessity even if you do different things and they have to understand that you mean it. ANd they also have to understand what it is that will or won't be taken away for instance. I remember a neighbor threatening her two year old that he wouldn't be going to Disney world if he did something again. As if Disney world was something he knew anything about. But they do know about cookies, they do know about toys and they understand the reward systems.
The food issue: my sister had that issue going on with her son. My hunch if it isn't a big issue it won't stay one.People are living all sorts of different lives. And have meals at different times of the day.If he doesn't seem hungry at dinner at least make him sit with you and offer to have it later so he can experience the family togetherness. You are not a terrible human being if you just leave something available for him later. And if giving him oatmeal in the middle of the night helps you then who cares what all the books say. In addition, I would like to figure out what he eats earlier that he's not hungry at dinner. Perhaps that could be spaced out. i.e.less, or not at all. My kids used to get so hungry before dinner, smelling the food that they would have snacks and not want their dinner. Plus the hunger in the middle of the night means love and attention from you, and not necessarily hunger at all.
Next you obviously need sleep and a couple of minutes alone. I have a hunch you have no money for babysitters, but high school students need community service credits. Perhaps you could call and explain your situation and have someone come and play with the little one especially for about an hour or so and they could get community service points and you can get a bubble bath! OH I am telling you it will be all right. You are doing great even though you don't know it. And unfortunately you might have survived your first son but this one sounds like he's got a really bad case of the terrible twos! Best of luck!They grow up so fast this will be kind of a dim memory one day. Really.

Your hard work of consistent parenting will pay off, but some kids need even more. I second the recommendation someone else made to have him evaluated by a behavioral expert (like Tuesday's child or even just ask your pediatrician for some ideas.) It's not that you're necessarily looking for a label, but you're looking for techniques that will work with this child right now.

Also, I assume he's in child care of some kind? Ask them not to give him any snacks after 3 (or whatever the correct time would be - 3 hours before dinner.) My son wasn't eating at dinner for a while, and I realized that the DCP was giving the kids a big snack at 4:30. Some of the children don't eat until 7, but mine eat at 5:30, so that was a problem.

C.
try telling hi, what he can do and leave it at that."In this family we eat at this time " " we on;y climb at the playground and run outside on the sidewalk" Some times it is easier to tell them what they can do... give them jobs even if you have to go back and do them later. Also in regards to naps he is also trying to figure his through leaving them behind but still needs quite time. Good luck with all your endeavors and I hope this helps a little.
J. O
mom to five and love to many more

We did 1-2-3 Magic! And it worked wonders on our little terror. Good luck!

Hello -

I just finished reading a GREAT book about how to "discipline" kids and holding them accountable for their actions. Love and Logic by Jim Fay. It actually has examples of exactly what you're explaining and how to handle the situation so they change their actions and become better people.

Sometimes I think we can get into a negative cycle...Kids push boundaries, we react negatively, they react negatively and it keeps going... You are really the only one that can change this cycle by showing him what the boundaries are, calmly, and respectfully. If you are consistant he will fall in line or suffer the consequences. ie Not eating until morning.

I'm not an expert...so I recommend taking one evening and skimming through this book because it will give you some other options on how to work with your child. It's at the library and is a pretty easy read.

You've got a full plate!!! I hope this helps a little -

Best of luck.

Court

Give the child a bath and massage from head to toe. I'm a mother of 9my oldest is 31 my youngest is 14.Father Bless this mother with wisdom on how to deal with her children and send her some help so she can get some rest in JESUS name amen GOD BLESS YOU pray and seek the face of GOD read your bible and find you a church.You a great Mom and you doing the right thing asking for advice If I had a computer when I was raising my older children it would have been good take care.

I feel so sorry for you. I hope you can get some help it sounds like everything is food based with your youngest. Good luck!!!!

So I'm not completely alone!? LOL

My youngest is challenging to.

Ignore him (not really) but as far as he can tell ignore him.

He likes the attention that you're giving him. Let him see you interact with the older son and sit with him and read a book or something (don't let your older child know you're using him in the experiment so he won't feel used) and he'll begin to want to come and sit down and calm down to partipate.

Other than that, you might want to take him to see if he has any allergies that are making him hyperactive.

Hope this helps

Hi-Talk to your Dr. asap and get help. It sounds as if your little guy is more than just at the terrible 2 stage.
Dr. may be able to determine what you can do to calm him down. Does he behave for babysitters? Does he eat/drink food with alot of sugar? Does he have alergies? Before going to Dr. write down all your concerns. Also, keep your chin up, things will get better. B. ____@____.com