Help-My 7 Month Old Suddenly Refusing to Sleep!!!

Updated on September 23, 2008
M.K. asks from Naperville, IL
17 answers

Hey there mommys I REALLY need some advice here and if you don't have any advice just some sympathy and compassion that it won't last forever. My darling baby girl is 7 months old and in the last 2 weeks sleeping has been quite the challange. Last week the poor little one got sick for the first time, we went to the pediarician and he said it was just a virus that it will go away with time and just hang in there. So now she is back to herself, since about Thursday she has been feeling much better. A couple days before her fever started she started waking up multiple times a night, sometimes as early at 11:30pm. She usually goes to sleep between 7:30-8:00pm after her bath, book, and nursing. When I discovered she had a fever I thought for sure it was just because she was getting sick and was not feeling well. Now, since she has been feeling better she still will NOT sleep. Sometimes not even napping during the day, except for 20min cat naps. When she wakes up at night she is wide away up on her hands, looking around, babbling to herself...it is all very cute but not every 2 hours in the middle of the night. We do co-sleep, she hates her crib and has never liked it since I tried to transition her to the crib from her bassinet. I can put her down in there but when she realizes where she is she freaks out as if she is scared to be in there. I thought it might be a growth spurt, but none of her other spurts have lasted this long. I have tried tylenol and motrin, nursing her, giving her a bottle. I know it isnt her teeth, her two bottom teeth came in about 3 weeks ago so we shouldn't be due for the top ones for at least a little longer. She hasn't quite learned how to crawl yet and is ALMOST sitting up on her own, she can sit up on her own but needs the lightest support. ALMOST THERE :) Do any of you wise mommys out there have any advice or any words of encouragement? I am going to lose it going on no sleep, along with the truly sleepless nights we had last week due to her being sick and never sleeping. I feel so bad because it gets to a point where I get sooo frusturated and mad and I know the little ones can sense it. I am going to try the book by Dr Marc Weissbluth and anything else anyone can suggest because I will TRY anything at this point. Sorry for the long post and any help is SOOO appreciated.

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M.N.

answers from Chicago on

Hi. Yes the book will help but you have to follow it and be consistent. I didn't buy the book intil my son was probably almost 2 and not sleeping very well. Yes, it is hard but it will get better. Mine transitioned from a crib to a toddler bed at around 18 mos without too much of a problem. Every child is different and just hang in there.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Picture a world where it's six p.m. and you have just finished giving the baby a warm bath. Now you are sitting in a glider and rocking and nursing her to the sound of a gentle lullaby cd. She has her favorite blanket wrapped around her and her favorite stuffed animal with her in your arms. Her eyes are heavy and closing. Your eyes are heavy and closing. Now you gently lift her into the crib which has new bedding so she doesn't recognize it. You have created a cozy area within that big crib and you lay her there with her blanket and animal still smelling like you. You leave the music on and and turn on a fan to low. Tiptoe out the door.
Now.....go downstairs to find a stranger in your home....oh he isn't a stranger, that's your husband (boyfriend,whatever). Remember him? You fix dinner together and catch up on your days. You pour a glass of wine (or tea) and sit next to him on the couch....
Well, you get the idea. This world could be yours!!! The baby will learn "healthy sleep habits" and will be a "happy child". Read the book and go for it! You won't regret it (in the end...the beginning will be hard) But it's worth it!! Good luck!

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S.P.

answers from Chicago on

I enjoyed co-sleeping with my first child but I do feel it is not best for the child because they have a hard time sleeping alone. I did not co-sleep with my other two children. The second and third child were sleeping through the night by 3 months and I never had a problem with them sleeping or taking naps. My first child used to wake up a lot and refused to nap. I think it is time to bite the bullet and get her in the crib. Maybe a lovey would help her. Does she have a favorite stuffed toy or blanket? Now may be a good time to get her to the crib because she is waking up anyway. I would talk to her about sleeping in her own bed. Tell she is growing up and it is time for her to have her own bed. Let her know you are there for her and come to her when she calls. Do your routine of the bath and book, then nurse her to sleep and then put her in the crib. If she wakes as you are putting her in, let her know she is okay. Be firm like you know it is the right thing and that everything will be okay, if she thinks you are unsure she will feel unsure as well. I think a white noise machine would help also. That way it wouldn't be so quite in her own room. It may be hard but I know it will take less than two weeks to get her back on schedule in her own bed. I believe it will be easier now than later. Whatever you decide will be right for you and your family.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I am a huge fan of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I started using the techniques at 6 months and our naptime and nighttime problems were solved within 2-3 days. He went from catnaps to two solid naps daily. Now at 19 months he sleeps 12+ hours at night without waking and 3+ hours of napping in the afternoon. He wakes up happy and rested. So...it does work. We liked the book because it was based on decades of research with infants and children who had sleep issues, not just anecdotal "I think this will work" evidence. That being said, not everyone appreciates his techniques.

If you really are willing to try anything, then read the book. If you simply cannot bear having to put your child into a crib to learn to sleep and cannot part ways with the co-sleeping, then you may be in for some really tough days. (I'm not saying anything is wrong with co-sleeping, just recognizing and pointing out that it might be a difficult transition)

No matter what you do or how you try to help your daughter be consistent! Do the same or similar thing/technique each and every time or it will only be confusing for your daughter and harder for her to adjust.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weisbluth. My daughter was 9 months old when I finally read the book and I thought I was never going to sleep through the night ever again. I swear, the first night we put into practice what we had read, she slept through the night and has been a great sleeper ever since! The big thing that first-time parents often do wrong is put their baby down too late. At 7 months old, your baby should be going to be more around 530pm. Sleep begets sleep. The naps and bedtime affect each other, so if she's not getting naps- her bedtime isn't going to be good. If she's not getting enough sleep at bedtime, her naps are going to be bad too. My hubby and I didn't read the whole book--just keep reading up to the point where she was at, whenever we needed the help.

Personally, I do not agree with co-sleeping. It's discouraged because you can roll over onto your baby and suffocate them. I've been there--where you're exhausted and resort to things you're discouraged from doing... but I saw an episode on TV about that very thing--accidentally rolling onto the baby--and I decided right then and there that I could not continue to take that chance. Besides, we knew that it would just cause us problems later with transitioning the baby out of our bed and into her crib--so we decided to deal with the crying now rather than make things more difficult for ourselves later. But that's a personal choice, and I'm not telling you what to do. Every baby is different and sometimes you have to do what you have to do...

Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I have found that most baby behavior "phases" only last two weeks. If you can hang in there for two weeks, this development will blow-over and you'll be faced with a new development or challenge!

That being said, I couldn't agree more with your comment about trying the book by Dr. Weissbluth. It's so important to have a healthy, consistent routine during sleep times. In the meantime, keep your naptime and bedtime routines 100% consistent and hang-in there. I'll bet your daughter is very intelligent and is starting to discover that she can influence your behavior. As long as she isn't sick or in pain, she very well may be starting to test you! Hold your course and remember that you are making the best decisions for her health, whether she likes it or not. Once she realizes that she isn't able to influence a change in what you are doing, she'll give up (for a while!) and move onto something else!

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K.E.

answers from Peoria on

I feel your pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My daughter is now 22 months and sounds exactly like your daughter. It is very frustrating, demanding and draining.
I tried everything and nothing worked. Nature just has to take its course. She still has some sleepless nights and eratic naps, but on most days she naps 1 1/2 hours and sleeps 10 hours at night but still gets up at least once for water or milk. She started to improve a little bit at about 18 months, so hang in there I know it is so HARD. Good luck!
P.S. She is still co-sleeping and would NEVER do the crib thing.

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L.J.

answers from Chicago on

I know this might sound harsh - but you have to let her cry it out in the crib - the sooner the better. She is used to getting everything she wants (not just needs) and in order for her to begin to get good sleep (as well as yourself and your husband) she needs to learn to sleep on her own. IT WILL BE PAINFUL FOR BOTH OF YOU - but we had to do this with both our girls (2 &1) and it passes - and now life is SO MUCH EASIER and EVERYONE is sleeping very well through the night.

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C.T.

answers from Chicago on

We went through the exact same thing with our daughter. She will grow out of it. I have gotten some great advice from this site about my daughter's sleep problems-listen to the moms' advice that best suits you. One of the first things that helped me was changing my expectations. Every baby is different and has different needs. It is perfectly normal for you to get frustrated...even though you are a mom, you are only human! If at all possible, give yourself a break...even for a night or two. Grandma, the baby's father-whoever. I know how hard it is...hang in there!!!

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

sometimes jerky motions wakes babies up. i would recommend a special binding blanket or at least a sleeping bag-babyinabag.com is great. i would try the blanket first. it's shaped special for bundling up baby. a fan in a room is also great to block out noise. you should not be co-sleeping and try to get her used to her crib. hang in there....

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

Our dd went through the same thing for a couple weeks just before she started to crawl and just before she started to walk. We also co-sleep. The difference at these times was that I couldn't just nurse her back to sleep like I normally did. Instead she clearly wanted to be awake, as if she knew something exciting was on the horizon! Also, if I had caffeine (even a chocolate bar), it would keep her awake.

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E.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hey there!

It's so rough what you are going through. It's very challenging to be on someone else's sleep cycle! I didn't co-sleep so I have no practical advice for your situation.

What I can tell you is that your daughter is at a big developmental leap age. And interrupted sleep is exactly what you should expect at this age. You've even pointed out all her new skills, she can almost sit up by herself, she has teeth. Her body and her control over her body is exploding with exciting possibilities for exploration and play. She's just too excited about it to sleep or rest. It's really annoying but so normal!

I'm going to leave practical advice for the co-sleeping Moms because my kids were in the other room so it was a little easier to just enjoy their cute noises from afar and drift back to sleep!

It will not last forever. It's normal, healthy development and shows she has an active brain and body and a wonderful curiosity. And its totally OK to feel frustrated and mad at her for ruining your sleep. Allow yourself to feel that then move through it.

Hydrate well and eat a very balanced diet. Sleep deprevation causes cravings for fat and sugar which will only exacerbate your moodiness and fatigue. So drink lots of water, fight the cravings and nap when you can!

Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I was cosleeping too like you do, nobody got any sleep :(
Then I droped one crib rail down and moved the crib right next to the bed so the baby is next to me but not in our bed. He loves his little "nest". Now he only sleeps there.
Another advise - routine! Same time every night to put baby to sleep.
My son also had problems with sleep until he was about 8 mo old, then he became a very good sleeper. Have patience. The key is to let them know it is night time and it is quiet time. Do not talk to her, do not play with her. Whatever yor routine is - use it (mine was rocking , feeding, patting the back). Do not leave her alone, do not let her cry exesively. She has to be calm, happy, fed and feel protected and she will learn to sleep at night. Good luck!

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S.F.

answers from Chicago on

Time to let her cry it out and put in earplugs. She'll get used to the idea of sleeping alone. The worst you can do is go in there when she is crying. Sleep training should start now. She needs to learn how to fall asleep on her own. During naptime, I would jump in the shower while my daughter (who's 3) and son (who's one) would be put down for a nap and were crying. The first two weeks of this will be brutal..but then it's smooth sailing after that. Just stick it out for two weeks and then you can try something else.

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E.S.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the last 2 responses. LET HER CRY IT OUT!! Some of these waking up periods, if she were in her crib, she would go back to sleep quickly and you may not even be aware that she was up. It is normal for kids at times to get erratic in their sleeping habits, but not to this extent. Both of mine slept through the night by 8 wks in their cribs. They may have been in their infant car seats in their cribs, but that is where they were. BTW, I have never read or care to read this book everyone seems to be talking about. The thing with the nap is that maybe she is ready to be up for longer periods of time and take maybe only 1 longer nap. That is about the age that both of my kids went to one nap only. Also, when you let her cry it out, wait at least 10-15 mins. before going in. I know it can be hard, but it will not harm them. Also, be aware of passing out spells. Our son did this, and once we were aware it soon stopped. This is something they say is common, but of course no one told us about them. If you want more info. email me. Good Luck

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi M. K,

My daughter also went through this around 7 months old and it passed so hang in there!

The only thing I can suggest that others did not post is to try to keep her up longer between naps and maybe that will help her sleep longer. My 8 month old daughter stays up for 2.5 - 3 hours between naps and will nap at about 9:30 and 1:30 pm, with the aftrenoon nap being the longer one (around 1.5 - 2 hours). It took some work to get her on that schedule because she too was only taking 20-35 minute naps if I put her down too early. I also nurse her before the naps like I do for bedtime and that has helped as well.

One other thing to try would maybe be to nap and sleep her beside your bed in a pack and play before you try to transition her to the crib. The bassinet may be too small for her age because she may like to roll over and get comfy before falling to sleep. You could get her used to the pack and play by letting her play in it a few minutes during the day while you get chores done. That way she won't be scared of it. I also did this with my daughter when she was acting freaked out by the crib. I would just have her play in it while I picked out her outfits or organized her closet and it worked.

One last thing - when she is up in the middle of the night do not interact with her! This will only encourage her to wake up at this time every night, so try to ignore the babbling and just go back to sleep. She will eventually learn that M. doesn't want to play in the middle of the night.

I also follow Dr. Weissbluth's book and it worked for me. He suggests a bedtime between 6:30 & 7:30 pm, so I would start the nighttiume rituals a little earlier.

It's so hard to get back on track after a sickness because babies will continue to wake up for comfort like they did when they got sick, but you can do it!

Good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Peoria on

I feel your pain! My daughter has slept through the night all of twice since she was 10 weeks old and she's 15 months now! All I can tell you is that in my extensive reading, I found out that when a child is about to reach a milestone they have trouble sleeping. Apart from teething, I believe this was my daughter's problem; she did everything early. Hang in there! I know the feeling of being so upset that you have to be up at three in the morning again, too. Can dad help? If he can't deal with her in the middle of the night, maybe he can work on the bedtime routine while you go to sleep a little early? Good luck!

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