HELP - Child Crying About Going School and Withdrawing from Programs!

I would do away with any activities like dance and daisies. Between full
day K and other programs it seems to me she is overwhelmed and tired. Extra ciricular activities are just that. School is not. So I would just
concentrate on getting her settled in school then maybe the second half of
the year you can get her involved in other things.

Full day kindergarten is a big change for a lot of kids. My son loves kindergarten but sometimes will tell me that he doesn't want to go because it is a long day. It sounds like she is over tired. I would put her to bed earlier and avoid activities until she adjusts. If necessary you can always talk to her teacher.

She went home and slept for 3 hours? She sounds over tired to me! If she is going to full day kindergarten, dance classes, AND daisy's then she is doing a lot of things for a 5/6 year old! If you want her to continue doing all those things than I suggest an earlier bedtime. Or, you may ask her which one she wants to do and which one she doesn't and drop the extra activity. My boys were both SUPER cranky the first month of school...prone to tears for the slightest thing, fighting easily with each other. I truly believe that your daughter is tired.
L.

Has it been 4 weeks since school started?
Could be she is over the newness of it. She is realizing, this was not just a temporary thing.

She could also be really tired. It takes a lot of energy to pay attention and behave all day long. The recess helps, but they are used to being able to play what they want. Make sure she is getting enough sleep. Maybe move up her bed time by 15 to 30 minutes.

She may also miss being home. We all need to remember that when our young children are in school all day, they want to be home in the afternoon and evenings. Not running around doing errands and taking more classes. They love the comfort of their own homes.

Maybe a once a week activity or a Saturday morning activity..
This falls in the "normal" behavior and reaction to school.

Send surprises in her lunch box, little notes, funny drawings.. Maybe a special treat that you do not usually send.

Just remind her of the fun stuff. OOo, you do not want to miss today, your lunch buddy "Stacy" will miss you.

OOO, today is music class, be sure to remember what you learn in there. I want to hear all about it!

Recess should be fun today, it is not raining!

I sent you a surprise in your lunch box.. Let me know this afternoon if you liked it.

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My son also just started full day K after 2 years of half day preschool. He is tired at the end of the day, more than from preschool. he really wants to go home and take it easy after school. I would move bedtime earlier and maybe have a low key weekend and see if it helps. My son gets overtired easily and it is hard to get him caught up on sleep. If she talks about her old school a lot maybe you can arrange a short visit to her old school. I did this with my son a few weeks into the year and he was so happy to see his old teachers.

couple of things stand out:

she slept for 3 hours.....she's tired! Drop her from those activities...or reduce her to just one.

move up bedtime.

talk with the teacher & get a better feel for what's up.

is she in the same class with brother? If so, they need to be separated.

one more thought: make her life easier & simpler.....& don't cater to her moods/whims. As with Daisies, she should not be joined at the hip with you. Time for you to back away....

I suggest that you do need to be sympathetic with your daughter but at the same time you need to be firm. Common sense told you that her throat was sore because of the crying. Therefore, it's time to go to school. "I'm so sorry that you're so sad. I know your throat hurts but it'll feel better in a couple of hours. Now it's time to go to school." Just an example of how to calmly enforce going to school while being sympathetic.

Your daughter does need to know that school is not an option. At the same time you're right to look for ways to make it work better for her. I would talk with the teacher and ask for suggestions. She's had experience with other children in similar straights and knows your daughter and what works in her classroom.

Is your daughter able to say why she doesn't want to go? My grandson, nearly every morning says he doesn't want to go to school but just shrugs when asked why. He used to cry and make a big fuss, refusing to move. His mom just kept telling him he had to go, that she knew he wanted to stay home but that wasn't a possibility. He's now in the second grade and even tho he still says he wants to stay home, he gets ready and gets on the bus with no difficulty.

This way allows the child to have their sad and or angry feelings while being told they have to go.

I agree with Laurie A's suggestions and so won't repeat them.

The focus of my post is to reinforce for you that you're on the right track with the addition of the suggestion to be sure that your daughter doesn't see you waver from the knowledge that school attendance is not negotiable.

Crying at dance. This sounds like she was over tired. Perhaps dance is too much activity until she gets used to school. Or perhaps seeing that she gets more rest is needed.

Hold her when she cries. Tell her you know this is difficult for her. At the same time be firm in stating that she has to go.

Same thing! Everything great up until this past week... My daughter is going through the exact same thing. Crying at swim (usually loves it), crying when ice cream fell off her cone (usually nothing like that bothers her).

I spoke with her teachers and this is what SO many of the kids are going through... the honeymoon is over. My daughter is in full Pre-K which is 5 days 8:30-3. She's exhausted from the new schedule and her disposition is such that she needs a lot of down time.

I cut out music and cutting out one day of swim. And giving her a lot of my attention and love, but she's going to school, because disruption is even worse for her right now.

She had me worried, but I really think a break from activity and lots of cuddles will help.

Full-day Kindergarten is a lot for some kids. Sounds like she just needs some time to be a kid and misses you. I don't always understand why our society insists on making or kids grow up so fast. :(
I am also a firm believer in a child getting plenty of sleep.
Some personalities just shut down after too much stimulation (be it mental, emotional, physical) and their body and minds need down time (with some extra TLC time).
There is A LOT going on in Kindergarten these days (much more than when I was in Kindergarten) and I can't even imagine having a full day of it and not having my mom there to help me with it and give me some hugs and kisses.
Just my two cents.
R.

Not clear on her schedule, but it sounds like her dance class and Daisies are after school.. agree with others that the day is just too long if she stays past 3:00

If you can swing it and cut the after school programs for now-- I'd start with that. Also -- talk with her teacher to see if anything specific is going on.

Talk to your daughter as well to see if there is anything else she is concerned about (bullies, not bonding with other kids, etc.).

Otherwise,sounds like she's exhausted and emotionally transitioning. Cut back on her other activities wherever you can

Talk with teacher and see how she is really doing? Can you volunteer to spend one day in class helping out and seeing if there is anything amiss? Maybe there is something going on at school that you don't know about unless you ask. It might not have anything to do with the teacher at all - maybe another kid is picking on her, etc. You mentioned her having a meltdown in dance class but can you say what triggered it? Is it possible that she is just over-tired?

As the parent of a dancer and as a Girl Scout leader, I hate to tell anyone to drop either, BUT this is the cost of full-day kindergarten -- exhausted, stressed five-year-olds. Assuming her dance class is on a weekday now: Move her to a weekend dance class. Most studios have lots of Saturday and even Sunday afternooon classes. She'll be much more relaxed and get more out of the class itself. Dance is great for relieving stress IF the child is ready and rested when doing it.

Daisies may not be available on weekends; if there isn't a troop that works for you that meets on weekends, you could either talk to her Daisy leader and see if other girls are having similar issues at meetings and see if the leader seems overwhelmed or well equipped to handle it -- or you could take her out of Daisies. See if the leader is amenable to letting her take a few meetings off, or even drop out until perhaps January when she's more into the school routine. (Any GS leader should accept any girl at any time of year. She'll miss some "petals" but that should not be any big deal.) Also, Daisies is not mandatory for going on as a GS! She can join in first grade or at any grade.

Talk to her teacher for ideas about how to talk with your child at home when she's upset about going to school. The teacher or school counselor may have some tactics you can use at home to get your daughter less stressed. She will take some time, possibly months, to transition from preschool, especially if she was comfortable and happy at preschool or her day care.

Full-day K asks too much of many kids who are still needing rest, play time and parental attention each day. But you can't change the school schedule. I'm glad my daughter was in the last class in her school to do only half-day kindergarten.

I also would start by dropping the extra curricular activities.
Let her nap when she comes home.
Make bedtime much earlier.
In kindergarten my girls were still nappers. THey were the ones who actually fell asleep. When nap time ended and it became quiet time in January they both fell apart, they were so tired.
They went to bed between 7 and 7:30.

I would talk to her, her brother, and her teachers. Maybe there's an issue of bullying going on (I know that's a hot topic right now, but it's been happening forever. Nothing new.) I remember really getting picked on a lot when I was young and I hated going anywhere because lots of kids were mean to me.

When my son was 4 I signed him up for karate.. At first, he loved it, after 3x's going, he HATED it!!!!! Would cryyyy the whole way there and said he just didn't want to do it anymore... I tried to reason with him for a couple more classes, but after awhile, it was MUCH more of a hassle then something fun "I thought" he wanted to do..... Being that he was 4, I took him out of the class...That was fun trying to get out of our 6 month contract....
If he would of been older (like 7) I would have made him follow through with what he started.. At 4, I couldn't really do that~