Help! Advice Needed for Air Travel with Demanding 18 Mo Old to Europe

Updated on July 07, 2008
A.T. asks from Cincinnati, OH
16 answers

Hi - I am traveling to Europe soon with my 18 month old toddler who has suddenly changed into Miss Demanding-Only-Want-Mama-Yell-When-I-Don't-Get-My-Way... etc. etc. I would love practical suggestions for how to survive the airplane trip. We don't know if she'll have her own seat yet (hoping that the airlines are kind enough to seat is next to an empty seat) so I need advice for both possibilities. If she has to sit on my lap, it is an overnight flight and she hasn't fallen asleep in my arms for at least 6 months. I'm just hoping that she doesn't flip out and cry for an hour and disturb the entire plane. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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So What Happened?

Thanks to those of you who offered encouragement and support. Indianapolis to Switzerland was hard because it was "overnight" and she hated sleeping in her carseat so we had to hold her so she wouldn't wake up the entire flgiht. Coming back was easier. Somehow we got an empty seat between us but had already checked the carseat at the gate, so she happily played on her own seat and was able to stretch out to sleep. I know that having a carseat is the safest, but it turned out she was so much happier this way. The bassinette would have been too small. Buying her her own seat would have been full fare $1350. As it was, just to have her on my lap (breathing the air?) was an additional $400. Best advice I got from here was - DVD as the last resort, lots of new toys with moving parts to occupy her attention, lots of snacks, and to get plenty of sleep. Thanks again!

More Answers

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B.I.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hello my name is B. I am 44 and was always a stay at home mom I feel blessed to be able to . My husband is from the middle east Lebanon and we traveled their sometimes twice a year with small babies. 2 Now my children are 16 and 14 and this summer they both are their by themselves. I recomend get a verygoodnights sleep dont sweat the small stuff you must only take basic stuffin your arms and in advance ask for bulk head and aplane bassinett.and take a infant tykenol for the babies ears and give it to the baby becouse their ears are sensitive .dont worry if the baby cries most people hav traveled with children also give the baby alot of water on the trip becouse You dehydrate

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K.P.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Hello A., this may sound a little crazy but very funny to us anyway. Our daughter in law and her entire family which included six babies from a couple months to a two year old flew from California to Maryland and to help others with the crying babies or just noisy babies her step mother went to a store and bought fifty or so pair of ear plugs and when anyone complained about the babies making to much noise she would just hand them a pair of ear plugs. After all you paid for a seat then that shouldn't make any difference who occupied it. On our flights some adults were coughing or sneezing or had 'gas' and that to me would be more offensive as a little one doing what ever. good luck

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P.D.

answers from Cleveland on

I've traveled to Europe three times with an 18 month old toddler. The first time I didn't get a seat for my daughter and it was very hard. My husband gave up his seat for her and she slept for awhile. At one point I laid her on the floor on a blanket by our feet. The second time we went I got my daughter a seat and my 18 month old son a seat it was so much better and I did the same for my third child. Bring things she likes to play with and get her a seat it is worth it. Bring her some snacks she loves and give it to her at different times when she get restless. If you have a lay over for a couple of hours have her run around and get tired. I tired everything. It's a very long trip. Have patience and keep strong. I did it with three children.
P.

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K.H.

answers from Youngstown on

As ever child is different, I will share with you my experience, but only time will tell what will happen. My family is from Brazil. In June, my husband traveled with our 14 month old son (by himself, since I was already there) on the long almost 10 hour flight. Thankfully, my son slept most of the trip. He was so worn out from the the events of the day - getting ready to go, driving to the airport, changind planes in Atlanta, etc... So after playing with a couple of toys, he slept on the seat that was free next to my husband. On the way back we came together and the flight was during the day. I gave him half of a Shaklee Gentle Sleep Complex (it is completely natural and I tested it out on him the week before to be sure he would not have an allergic reaction). We woke him up very early that day so that he would be tired around 10AM when the flight took off. He slept for about 2 hours, drank a bottle (he did not eat very much that day because he just didn't want to), had a little snack and fell back asleep. For at least 3 hours. We were sure to have toys for him and when he was awake he played. Since your flight is overnight, I think you will not have a problem. Make sure to have something for her to chew on when the airplane is taking off and landing to help with her ears. I found some great organic fruit roll ups or you can make your own very easily. You can find the Sleep Complex at www.shaklee.net/gemsoffire
Feel free to contact me if you would like more info about the trip or Shaklee.

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M.J.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi,
My daughter has been traveling on an airplane since 9 months old. She will be 3 in a few weeks. We took her to Hawaii with family when she was 18 months old. Best advice is a portable dvd player with a recharable battery. Coloring books always take up time also. Our daughter has flown 6 times without any problems. We always tell her ahead of time and have her pack a carry/on with snacks, movies, and books. Most of the time she falls asleep after the first two hours!! Hope this helps and have a great trip

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M.F.

answers from Cincinnati on

Considering air travel these days, I wouldn't bank on the kindness of the airline to provide an extra seat for you. For that long of a flight, I would definitely purchase a seat for her. I'd also take a portable DVD player. We exposed our daughter to it the first time she traveled at 16 months and we were very glad we had it. And take everything she likes these days; coloring books, stickers, books, blankets, snacks, etc.

Any parent on the flight will be able to relate to your situation, so don't feel too bad if she has her moments.

Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

We have made many (9) plane trips with our baby; he is now 18 months and we flew across country last month. I agree with many posts to get her own seat & bring the carseat. At 6 months or even a year it was easy to hold him, now it is just a little more difficult and he understands that his carseat is for sitting and not squirming. We held him for a short 1 hour flight but it was wonderful to have him in his seat for a 3+ hour flight. One thing I wish I had was a foot rest for his carseat (I've seen them in One Step Ahead). The only trouble we had was he wanted to kick the seat back in front of him - if he had a footrest that would be a non-issue. I also brought along his favorite snacks, blanket and a few toys (including a travel Aquadoodle) and books. We brought along a ball for the airport and subsequently lost it on one of the flights - whoops. You will be surprised how quickly the trip can go, especially if it is overnight and/or naptime! Have a great trip!

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C.K.

answers from Cleveland on

You should buy a seat for her and bring the car seat - not just for her comfort and yours but for her safety! If you experience turbulence on the plane, a young child who is not secured in a car seat can receive a serious head injury, and I would think the chances of hitting turbolence at some point at that long flight are high. My cousin has been a flight attendant for years and has seen this happen.

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E.O.

answers from Cleveland on

I agree with a previous poster that every child is different. But I would say that is there is an way you can afford to but your child a seat, it would be worth it. With flight cutbacks, the chance of an empty seat diminishes everyday. There is nothing worse than trying to wrestle with an active, screaming toddler when you must be seated (during take-off and landing).

We have flown to Europe several times at the infant and toddler stages and (sorry to say) it was really hard! At 18 months, everything is still so new and, in their minds, "in need of exploring". We take lots of finger foods and small books. Fortuntely, travel is usually tiring to children, but unfortunately it is usually exhausting to the parent!

I wish your lots of patience, for your child, yourself, and the people who will undoubtly make ugly comments.

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J.H.

answers from Columbus on

Portable DVD players are a lifesaver....and don't know how you feel about Benadryl, but these two items were wonderful when we traveled with both our 2 year old and 8 month old to Panama. Good Luck.

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S.L.

answers from Cleveland on

I have flown many times with my now 21 month-old. I would say the key is to be prepared for anything and somehow have a bit of everything to carry on without taking a massive bag. Some things that have worked for me are buying food in the airport (since you can't take food through security) and making eating a big activity, have a few cool new toys (introduce those as a surprise in challenging moments) and making friends with those around you. In terms of handling your daughter without a seat, it is tough. I agree with the others who recommended you buy a seat. I just flew with my son and hadn't flown with him for about 6 months. It was a big difference and he was much more active! If you cannot get a seat for your daughter, make it known to the flight attendents as soon as you board that you have a "lap baby" and ask if the flight is full. Usually they are very helpful and if there is an open seat, they will make sure you get it. I have been amazed at how understanding fellow passengers have been during the moments my son has been a handful on flights. I think as long as you are apologetic and clearly doing your best, people understand. Lastly, what about the movie? It might not be something you would do in any other situation, but if you need to put the headphones on her maybe she will be distracted by the tv. Good luck! Whatever happens, you'll be ok. Hopefully when you get to your destination it will be worth it!!

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L.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I also strongly suggest buying her a seat & bringing her own car seat to strap in. We traveled with my son at 15 months to Alaska & it was a lifesaver! Also double check with the airline to make sure you don't get the last row on the plane where the seats are straight up & down. Also recommend buying "EarPlanes" from CVS or OneStepAhead.com. They help regulate the pressure in ears (for popping) & have adult & child sizes. Bring something that she would LOVE to drink for take offs & landings. I used apple juice diluted just a little since he never has something that sweet. Also bring lots of different snacks & small toys that she's never seen. I just took a backpack with lots of snacks, toys, & baby supplies. (Suckers are also great b/c they take up about 20 minutes of time before they're ready for something new!)

Some people recommend using benadryl for overnight flights to help your little one sleep. If you do, be sure to try this out at home. Benadryl sometimes has the opposite affect on some children & makes them extrememly hyper & NOT Sleepy. If you have a layover, make sure to let her run as much as possible around the airport.

Most importantly, check with the airlines about a discounted seat & buy one. Best of luck!

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N.S.

answers from Columbus on

Do get your daughter her own seat. I have spoken to other parents that didn't get seats for their kids on overseas flights and they regretted it. Book your flight early. Once a plane is 60% booked, prices go up for the remaining tix. If you can, book a DIRECT flight to your destination or close to your destination. If you are going to Europe to see friends and family, find someone who wouldn't mind driving a little longer to pick you up. NOT having to change planes with your daughter is definitely worth it. Get one of the latest flights in the day. Talk to your pediatrician and ask if it's okay to give your daughter children's benadryl when you get on the plane or right after take-off. It will get her a little drowsy and hopefully help her to fall asleep. Go to the dollar store and buy toys that you know your daughter will like. New toys will capture her attention longer than old toys but do bring a favorite stuffed animal or blankie for comfort. (Make sure you can somehow attach the animal or blankie to you or the diaper bag. You don't want to loose her favorite "luvy" during travel). Be prepared to walk around with her during the flight, so bring comfi shoes for you and her. If you can, bring your own (travel) DVD player and some DVDs for her or borrow a DVD player from one of your friends. If you don't have a carrier or sling for her that she still fits in, get one. I would recommend the Peanut Shell sling (you can order it on-line. Get the cotton/spandex combination). I use one for my 17 months old son and he loves it. When things are new to him, he wants me to carry him and this sling still allows me to be hands-free while he is securely tied to me. Best of all, it fits in his diaper bag. Also, most European countries require toddlers to be in a car seat when traveling in a car (when you get there). Instead of lugging one with you, go to an E-Bay site that is in the country of your destination and get one through E-Bay (same goes for other big items, you may need over there like a pack'n play for her to sleep in). Have it shipped to wherever you will stay. Or if you are visiting friends and family, see if you can borrow one from someone. I don't know what type of stroller you have, but don't bring your full-size stroller if you don't have to. Bring a smaller size, in case you have to carry it up and down stairs. I don't know where you are going in Europe. I am from Germany and there are still public places in Germany that only have stairs. No elevators and no escalators. (I went to Munich once and the way I had to go through the airport from the bus station, had only stairs). There are strollers you can get that are slightly bigger than umbrella strollers and very lightweight. While traveling, make sure that the diaper bag you bring, is very comfi and easy to transport. Sometimes, you will have to just carry it for a long time. A backpack is great to travel. If you get just a regular size backpack (not a diaperbag backpack), you can fit more stuff in it b/c the regular size ones are a little bigger than the diaper backpack. Be smart with packing stuff. Don't overpack. Think about what you can buy at an airport or in a store, should you run out of one item. And don't forget to pack an extra outfit for you on your carry-on. Some kids get airsick and throw up. You don't want to travel in cloths that smell. I would also pack trial size "spot removers". You can get them in little packets. They are great for removing spots from cloths. Good luck on traveling with your little one.

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K.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

My daughter travels with us a lot. Even though she's now 4, this is what we have always done....
We get small things that she's never seen before (be it from the $1 store, garage sales, goodwill etc. (clean them if they were previously loved) and we wrap them individually. Every so many hours, she gets to open one.
Each item generally buys us x amount of time. New things work best, since they're interested in checking them out & playing a bit.
She's a pretty amazing traveler now, but when grammie goes, she still takes her stuff. It's just a way to make the time pass quicker.
Take books too!! Again, maybe a few favorites, but definately some she's not heard before. (even if you check them out of the library)
This may sound a bit extreme, but it was a tip given to me when she was small like you daughter & we were about to embark on our first airplane trip. It's completely worth it & it can be a cheap option.
As for wrapping them and going through the checkpoints, maybe you could call the airline & ask if wrapped items can be taken through the security gates. Maybe just wrap with tissue paper. I don't think you'll have a problem. Sometimes those duty free stores wrap your purchased items.
And as for the seat situation, I would recommend her own seat. She'll feel more "free". As for this, again, call the airline. My sister flies internationally all of the time & you can call to see how full the flight is & see if you can be placed near an empty seat. They won't do it without your request.
Hope your trip goes well. :o)

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D.L.

answers from Cleveland on

If the child has not fallen asleep in your arms since she was 6 months old and this is an overnight flight BUY HER A SEAT! At 18 months you can hold her when she is fussy..even during the takeoff and landing but you will have the option of letting her sleep in a way she is more accustomed to. Airlines are cutting flights, there are very few "empty seats" so praying that you will be the lucky one to have one beside you or hoping that the over-stressed, under-paid gate agent will magically have all the time in the world to locate the people sitting around you and ask them to change seats is a pretty big dream. Travel with her favorite blanket, bring lots of snacks (another thing airlines are cutting down on) Try to remain calm...kids can tell when you are upset and that upsets them more. Take you daughter to the doctor for a checkup the day before your trip. At that age just a little sinus issue can create major ear pressure so you want to make sure she has any medication necessary to relieve ear pain. Start telling your daughter no now so that when she hears it on the plane it won't be a new experience for her.

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M.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I'm impressed how few have suggested buying a DVD. I would suggest NOT doing this. Gifts, books, snacks, etc. are all alternatives. Just be prepared to interact with your child. A LOT. It will be work, but in the end (and I mean three years from now) you will be rewarded. I've traveled a great deal with my son--looong car rides, plane rides, etc. since he was a baby. For the first four years, I spent all our time reading outloud, playing games, etc. But now he can sit through a flight or a 20 hour car ride with nothing more than a book and a snack (he's 8). Last week on a plane ride with my son, I saw two kids (about 2 and 5) watching a DVD. When they had to turn it off for the last 20 minutes, they threw such a fit. The attendant was at her wit's end trying to keep them in their seats and the parents were clearly upset. Teach them to travel without devices like that, and they will become experts for the rest of their life.

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