HELP!!!! 6 Month Old Daughter Who Will Not Go to Sleep Before Midnight

Updated on June 04, 2008
C.B. asks from Diana, TX
21 answers

I am soo desperate. My daughter does not go to bed before midnight. Our basic schedule is something like this, she normally wakes at about 8 or 9 then will take a nap at noon sleep for an 30 minutes to an hour, the next nap will be at about 4 and sleep til about 5 or 6, she will fall asleep at about 9 again for about 30 mins. When she FINALLY goes down for the night she sleeps maybe five hours, then wakes to eat for about 5 minutes and then will fall asleep. (I am still breastfeeding) We are trying to get her to sleep in her own bed, but once she wakes at about 5 or 7 then she moves to our bed for awhile. She does take a pacifer,loves the soothies. I have a 5 year and do not remember having this much trouble getting him to sleep. He goes to bed at 7:30 and gets up about 7 or 7:30.I know that something has to change, but I am unsure of how to change her sleeping pattern.We have tried the cry out ,we let her cry for about 10 mins before going back in there,and she does go to sleep but if it is any earlier then midnight or 1 am she doesnt go for it.With my son waking at 7-7:30 something has to change. ANYTHING will help please!!

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to thank everyone for their advice. We did end up changing her sleep schedule and keeping her up at 6 is hard because she really wants to sleep. Now we are all getting a little more sleep. Thank God!! She does wake up at 3 or 5-5:30 , I will feed her and she we sleep til 7-8 which works for me. Thanks again!!!

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

It sounds like you have one active little baby girl :) I know that the issue of crying it out is so sensitive so this just a suggestion. Have you considered letting her cry a little longer than 10 minutes. I was the same with the 10 minute thing but my husband finally convinced me to let my son go a little longer and you know now I can just lay him down at night and he just goes right to sleep, even if he is awake when I put him down. He even comes to me now and starts cuddling up on my shoulder at bedtime. I do remember a few rough nights in there around 6 months or so. I think that is the time they are really starting to be able to get used to the idea of bedtime. I also took the advice of a bedtime routine. We do the bath, then some breastfeeding, then a little rocking and cuddling, then bed. I can see that now the bath is his cue that bedtime is close and I can see him start to get cuddly and ready for sleep. It took a couple months, but the routine along with letting him cry a couple nights worked for us. Best wishes, it will get better!!

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L.B.

answers from Houston on

You are looking @ this picture far too catastrophically. First of all, your 6MONTH old daughter is in & out of bed throughout a 24 hr period, w/ her longest sleep interval in the dark of night. That's quite a good pattern for an infant! Second, the only constant about the sleep patterns of infants is that they are constantly evolving as their growth spurts & developmental milestones bring them through their first year & into toddlerhood. the 5 year old can be a little more self-directed in his morning waking routine...dressing,face washing, tooth-brushing,etc... as part of his developmental milestones, taking care of course to be attentive to safety considerations. Dad can ceratinly be expected to provide a hand w/ the routine needs of the non-breastfeeding child.

Mommies of breastfeeding babies ( I breastfed 4 now grown up kids, observing baby-led weaning) need to nap when baby naps to get adequate rest. This can also be made to coincide w/ your 5 year old's afternoon naptime, if all settle down together for a num-num, a story, a snuggle, & a nap-nap. It WILL get better. Just go w/ the flow & be the Mother-Baby couplet for now. It will be different very soon.

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C.W.

answers from Austin on

From what I remember with my now almost 2 year old and from all the reading I did, is that you need to change her nap times. And you can't do it drastically, just try pushing them up 15 to 30 minutes at a time until she adjusts. You should aim for a mid morning nap and then another one around lunch time. I think that her last nap at 4 to 5 - 6ish is way to late and interfering with her bed time which should soon mirror your older child's 7:30 bed time. The adjustment might be h*** o* everyone but you will be so thankful after the fact. I know there are lots of good sleep method books out there, so ask your pediatrician what they recommend. Hope this helps and good luck!

Mom to a beautiful 22 month old little boy and 17 weeks pregnant with number 2.

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J.G.

answers from Houston on

C.,
I breastfed both of mine and stayed home for the first 10 months with each. My son is my first. He was 4 1/2 months and would not sleep thru the night. I asked the doctor why he was still waking up, everyone else's babies did not. He said it was common among breast fed babies. He told me that he did not nead to eat at 2:00 in the morning. He advised me to take a weekend, move him to his own room and allow him to cry himself to sleep. He said he would cry for 30 minutes to an hour for 2 to 3 nights. It was the hardest thing for me to allow my son to cry but after 2 nights he was sleeping thru the night. The doctor explained that he needed to learn to just go back to sleep without eating. I would give her her last feeding and put her to bed. I know it is hard to listen to them scream and cry but if you do not do something now it will continue and she will likely have a hard time when she is older. When my daughter went thru it I knew what to do and it worked.
Good Luck,
J.

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C.D.

answers from Houston on

C., my sympathies! First, though, don't expect your kids to be the same; they way they develop will probably be very different! You'll face a new set of challenges with each one.

I have a pair of twins and a singleton. The twins were a dream, slept 7 hours when they were 5 weeks old, took naps beautifully, just wonderful. The singleton was the problem, with very interrupted sleep habits no matter what we did. My husband was great, but we just had to grin and bear it for a few months.

I breastfed all of mine, just like you are, the twins for 6 months and the singleton for a year. It's so good for the kids, and it's good for you, too, reducing your risk of breast cancer if you breast feed for more than 6 months.

BUT breast milk is digested easily and they get hungry sooner. The only way to handle the singleton was to go ahead and feed, keeping the lights low, cuddle for 5 minutes or so after the feeding, then put the little one back to bed - for some weeks, in bed with us. She just needed that reassurance. The babies were in the same room with us for the first 14 months, until the risk of SIDS was over.

I have two suggestions for you that I'm sure you've heard before: 1) try cutting the second nap short so that she's tired when you put her to bed. 2) If her doctor will allow, try giving her a little cereal mixed with breastmilk as well as breast feeding. It will take longer to digest and maybe she'll sleep longer too. Ask the doctor first - they may have changed the rules on when it's right to start this, and if you start too young with some foods the kid is more likely to develop allergies.

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N.S.

answers from Austin on

i noticed that you stated a nap at 4 and sleeps till 5 or 6. then again at 9 for 30 minutes. that is two hours from midnight. try getting her up earlier in the morning that way in the after noon she can get her second nap in and then stay up. that way if you wake early, she will have a good morning nap. play, eat, play eat some more and then in the afternoon, around 12-2....nap good. because if you have it to where they take a power nap way too close on their bedtime, they will fall asleep later.

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K.W.

answers from San Antonio on

Our daughter was a night owl too. Normal bedtime was 11 to 12 at night. We finally figured out that we were not challenging her enough during the day to wear her out. She was just sitting around and would make her own schedule. We cut out the evening nap all together, keeping her awake was fun (lots of crying and screaming) but then when she went to bed, she stayed asleep. We also increased our daughters milk intake for the last feeding before bed and added rice cereal since she had already been introduced to the bottle in the NICU. It really helped. Also, bath at night before bed (no play after bath) with the sleepy time body washes and lotions helped too. Hope the ideas work.

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L.L.

answers from Houston on

Give your child a warm bath and a warm glass of milk. That is what I did with my children . Try it and see for yourself.

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S.Y.

answers from Austin on

It sounds like you are giving her to many naps and she is not as tired as she should be if you gave her only one nap, that could explain why she does not sleep through the night. I would only give one nap for about two hours from 12-2'clock. I would keep her up till 7:30 and put her in for the night. It will take a week for her to get used to this schedule but she will be tired around bedtime and sleep better through the night. She will probably cry till she gets used to this schedule. I would feed her light before she goes to bed so she won't be hungry. I would let her cry if she gets up because if you feed before bedtime she should not be hungry. Children are smart and they know that if they cry you will come running but this is the only way she will get used to the schedule. I hope this helps, good luck. S.

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K.K.

answers from Killeen on

change her sleeping habit..she will be difficult to deal with for the first couple of days but it may be what you need to get her through the night...

get her up at 7 or 8 inthe morning. give her a nap at 10:00 do not let her sleep more thatn 2 hours, get her up give her lunch and let her play...put her down at about 3 for an afternoon nap and do not let her sleep more than 2 hours...then keep her up until about 8 or 9 pm and put her to bed...don't forget to do all the bed time soothers...bath (with lavender) often helps a baby settle for the night, read a book or two quietly, etc...

after a couple of days she should be on her new schedule and should be sleeping through the night...

Good luck...

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J.K.

answers from Houston on

I know you are tried so this will be hard, but my parents helped me with my son when he was baby and would not sleep well at night. You need to get her naps down to one a day, early in the afternoon for about 2 hours only. Don't let her sleep again, especially in the early evening. Also, don't let her sleep in very late in the mornings. It will take a couple or few days to get into the schedule and it helps if you have someone to help keep her awake in the early evening. Once my son got into the routine, I never had a problem with his sleep schedule again.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

C.,
I have three children, much older than yours. Here are some suggestions that a learned along the way...
First, NEVER let a baby sleep in your bed ~ several reasons, they control the sleep times around the house AND they tend not to have respect for you and your husband's privacy later in life. Your marriage bed is NOT their place unless napping or cuddling. Your entire bedroom should be considered sacred from the kids. That will become invalueable later when they are older and have their friends over.
Anyway, it ia probably time to shift the nap. One nap at around 1:00 only and let her sleep till they wake ~ usually around 3 or 4. That's it! Then put her to bed around 8:00 or 9:00 and have a ritual...read a book, cuddle, sing a song. And this has to be done in her bed, not yours. I know you need the break and the rest, but at 6 months she just doesn't need two naps.
Good luck, and remember, everybody's kids and households are different. This is only advice based on stuff I learned. I hope it gets better soon and that you take what you need from what I said and leave the rest.
God bless ~ I will say a little prayer for you!

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D.J.

answers from College Station on

Hello C. B. Sorry you can't get any sleep but maybe this will help. You will probably have to change her whole sleep schedule,instead of letting her sleep to 8 or 9,get her up when you and your 5yr.old get up for starters. Try not to let her sleep so late in the afternoon,sleeping until 6pm maybe too late in the afternoon because by the time 9pm comes,she is not tired. A nap at 11 or 12pm might help. And in between do something to tire her out so that she will be tired at night. Maybe those things will help, well thanks for listening and I hope things get better.

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H.G.

answers from Austin on

I had a similar situation a few months back. This is what I did... since my daughter would not go to sleep until 12.30am and I had to work I did the unthinkable.... I slept in our guest bed and took her to bed with me at 10:30pm, let her nurse away while Itried to get some sleep, then she would drift off around 11:30ish, I would pick her up and put her in her crib, every night I would try to move up the time I went to bed by 5-10 minutes and that way she would drift to sleep a bit earlier, it took about 2 weeks but we got her to go to sleep around 8;30pm eventually. Then I added another element. I took out the evening nap so she would go to sleep earlier since I have to wake her up at 6:45am. We established a routine of dinner at 6pm, then bath, then bedtime. For bedtime we did the cry it out method. Now 10 minutes is not enough in the beginning. It will be hard, but you have to just let her go, I think it lasted for 45 minutes the first night. Check on her after 10 minutes, but do not pick her up, if she is still crying after aother 15 minutes check on her, but again don't pick her up. It was the hardest thing I have had to do with her, but after 4 nights she was going to sleep at 6:45-7:00pm every night with only a lillte swack as I put her in bed. Also, while you are doing this make sure she has something she can cry to or on - ours is a soft bunny head blanket.

Good luck and know that you aren't alone out there.

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

You didn't really describe what your feeding schedule is like. She is old enough for solid foods. A full tummy will help her sleep better. If you are giving her rice cereal before bed, try oat cereal instead...it has more fiber and will keep her tummy fuller longer. Give her baby food before nursing her so she gets all of the nutrients and gets used to the flavors of the foods too...breast milk is really sweet so it is important to get her accustomed to veggies too.

Also try not to let her fall asleep at nine...I think that is the "power nap" that is disturbing her regular night-time routine.

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

It may be time to eliminated the 5 o'clock nap and just put her to bed when you put your 5 year old to bed. she may be cranky at first but she'll adjust. If she wakds up sooner than you are ready for her too, don't rush into her immediately. Just let her cry or work it out for about 10-20 minutes. I recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits happy child. It helps with sleep problems for children of all ages.

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K.T.

answers from Houston on

Try to knock out or shorten that 4:00 nap - might work Good Luck!

K.

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M.H.

answers from Houston on

Sounds like you are letting her nap too much. Let her have a morning nap around 10 AM and have her afternoon nap around 2 PM. Then if she goes to sleep around 9PM she should be good for her night time sleep. It may take a while to get her on a schedule like this, but you need your sleep too. If she does wake up during the night offer her the pacifer and then leave the room. Should she decide that she needs to cry, let her cry, 10 minutes is not very long, try 20+ minutes. You should recognize a hunger cry from an I want attention cry.

Get her out of your bed, if you don't, she may still be there when she gets older. What kind of life could you and your husband have with a child in the bed with you?

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B.R.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I really don't have any advise. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone! My daughter is 5 months and just recently started this night owl routine. Almost exactly like yours. mine is strictly breastfed and won't touch bottle or paci. My sons (4 yrs and 2 yrs) now wake at 6:30 or 7 and like you I am exhausted. If you want to chat sometime you can email me at ____@____.com. Misery loves company right? :)

B.

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M.J.

answers from Austin on

I totally know what your going through. My daughter used to take naps about the same times as your daughter and did the same thing. So we stopped letting her go to sleep at nine and postponed sleep till 10- 10:30. and then she started sleeping through the night

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L.H.

answers from Killeen on

i think its the 9pm nap just dont let her go to sleep then play with her move her around what ever it takes but keep her awake
L.

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