Myself Help

Updated on January 26, 2009
A.I. asks from Eau Claire, WI
16 answers

I'm a stay at home mom with 3 boys ages ranging from 4,3, and 1!!
My husband and my inlaws are constantly on my case about getting a job.
We have only one vechile and my husbands hours and crazy so its been hard to find a job. But when I have found and job and been offered that job I've had to turn it down because the hours wont work. Anyways my inlaws and husband are still getting on me about a job.

I'm stressed out and depressed with all of that and being at home with 3 boys!!!

Does anyone have any advice.

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J.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am a stay at home mom of a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old girl! I wanted to find a stay at home job that I would enjoy and keep me home with my family. I finally found a company that has blessed my family in so many ways! I don't have to sell, do parties, order, stock/ship inventory, and there is NO risk! If you are motivated, you can make money at home too! The Mom Team is a non-profit support group partnered up with a wellness company. I LOVE what I do, and we have lots of support! Request more info. At www.juleneh.freedomunitedteam.com

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Well I have a few questions for you...and them.

The first one is, like another asked, do you want a job and if so, what kind? FT, PT, WFH, etc?

The next is what kind of job does your husband want you to get? OR, is it his parents pushing him to push you to get a job???

The only way your inlaws should have anything to say about it is if they are helping you financially...or, if they will provide daycare either if they are able to take care of the boys themselves, or pay for it. Do they have any idea how much daycare costs? Depending on if it's home or center-based, for those three boys it can range from $300-600+ per WEEK!

Will you be able to find a job that will cover those expenses and make it worth being away from your boys?

If you find a job opposite your husband's schedule, so he's taking care of them while you are at work, that may be an option, but it's still very difficult to do. Will it be worth the extra income (if any after daycare, gas, and other work-related expenses) to not kiss the angels goodnight or see them when they wake up anymore? And what about the reduced time for you and your husband?

There is SO much more to the question of to get a job or not, and it seems that with the pressure they are putting on you, they haven't really thought about it...

Bottom line is you need to do for you and your boys...your hubby's parents can take care of themselves.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

So how are things going for you. I see this was a month ago. We have 2 cars but I have difficulty just finding a job. Not much in Lake City or Red Wing. Hoping there will be chances to get some homeparties going. I only have one can't imagine trying to work around 3 children. How do they expect you to work when you only have one car? If they want you to work they should by you a car. Otherwise they should drive you to work. I get so mad when people don't put themselves in your situation. Hope things have gotten better.

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A.H.

answers from Des Moines on

Do YOU want to get a job?

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was kind of in the same boat. I was a stay at home mom and still am during the daytime. We needed the money and I needed a break, and me leaving to go shopping wasn't helping out the bills. So I got a part time job at night. My husband works 9am-7pm and then when he gets home I go to work from 8pm-2 or 3am. It works for us. I have a 5yr old, 3.5 yr old and a 23 month old so I know what you mean. I'm not sure where you live but I'm in Blaine and the job I have is always hiring if you can do 10 key. I'm 27 and been married for 6 yrs come April

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

HI A.,

I had the same situation with finding a job, my husband's hours were just too all over the place. So I started an in home daycare. It's the best of both worlds, I get to stay home with the kids and make some money. Yes, it is hard work and there are days I want to pull my hair out. But in the big picture it has really worked out for me. I only work Monday through Thursday, so it gives me a day to be with just my son. It really makes me appreciate him so much more. Also, the days I do daycare fly by because I have to be more regimented in schedule and I have to come up with activities for the kids. It's a lot of fun. If you're interested, call your county government center to see how the licensing process is. Hope this helps.

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

A.,
Don't you just feel like screaming!!!! I think we all have those moments. So, they want you to have a job and you have three children under the age of 5 and a husband who can't give you a schedule to work around to get a job. Well that should be easy. NOT! If you your in-laws and husband want you to have a job, maybe you could look at doing some very part time work that will get you out of the house and tell them they will need to figure out where your boys will be during that time. I do know of a company that does non-medical care giving in the homes of elders in the cities. They are called right at home (I actually work for them and they are such an awesome company) and pretty much if you are good with people and patient (which with three boys I am sure you would be) they may be a good fit for you. They set you up with a client or clients depending on how often you want to work. They are in 3 hour shifts and they pay $10 an hour. So, say that you want to work mon, weds, and friday only 3 hours each shift, they would try to find 1 or more clients that would match that schedule. I have a client I currently work for just every other weekend. Maybe that would help you with finding someone to watch your boys just for a shorter period of time, or your husband would be available.

I know it is hard. I went from working full time and then we moved down here and because of daycare I could only work part time and it had to be the hours that worked for me. I found this company and it has really worked for me.

Any other questions, feel free to e-mail me.
I do ask that if you thinking of calling, that you only do so if you are serious and know that you will be able to find someone for the hours you work. That you would put in 100%. I do think that highly of this company. (They are a lot of fun too!)
J.

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J.F.

answers from Rochester on

My MIL is always on my case about getting a job. My husband works 9am-6pm Monday - Friday, so finding a full-time position that works around that is difficult. We also only have one vehicle, so that makes it tough, too.

If your husband is so adamant about you finding a job, tell him to do his part and rearrange his work schedule to accommodate you finding employment. Also, it's not your in-laws place to tell you what to do for your family. Daycare is expensive. Point that out to them and if they keep nagging tell them they can foot the bill.

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E.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

They want you to get another job? You have a full time job right now watching your 3 boys and taking care of everything else!!
I have 2 kids right now, and a home business and a part time job. it gets stressfull at times!
if you are interested in starting a home based business, they might really like that because you get extra tax deductions, make money from home at your computer and work around everyone's schedules and you don't need a car!
If you are interested, please check out my website at
FreedomAtHomeTeam.com/RainingBlessings
It's been almost 5 months now and I'm lov'in every minute of it!

E.

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T.H.

answers from Rochester on

Hi A., I was in the same situation as you and I started my own spa business!!! I have it listed with Mamasource so maybe you have already checked it out, but here is the info. Call me if you would like to do lunch sometime and talk about it! T.

Owner: T. H

50328 287th Ave
Elgin, MN 55932

Category: Spas & Massage

Let me bring the SPA to YOU! Invite friends, family, neighbors & coworkers to indulge in a one of a kind, In-Home Spa! We do facials, hand treatments, relaxation, foot treatments, lip treatments and make-overs! It is the Ultimate Excuse to get together with Friends! Who doesn't need a little "girlfriend time", pampering & relaxation now and then? I also do Work Place Spas...relax on your work break!

I am also always looking for fun and energetic people to join my team! Whether you are looking for a PT or FT job...this may be the answer! Start today, Make money tomorrow! Let me show you how you can earn an incredible income while teaching others to "Spa at Home" and pamper themselves and their families!

Check out my website at www.beautipage.com/woodland_spas. Here you can learn about our products, Spas, Hosting your own Spa Escape, becoming a Consultant and more about BeautiControl!

Call me today to schedule your In-Home Spa or to learn more on becoming a Consultant!

We bring the "SPA to YOU"!

T. Hughes, CTRS
Unit Director w/BeautiControl
Spa & Skincare Consultant
Therapeutic Recreation Consultant

###-###-####
____@____.com
www.beautipage.com/woodland_spas

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J.H.

answers from Fargo on

Hi A.

I sell Avon, It only has a $10 start up fee. You can earn up 20%-50% commmision or discount on your own products. You do not keep any inventory on hand. You only order what you need.

It's great owning your own business. You can do as much or as little with it as you want. You set your own hours and you're the boss!

The one thing I love about Avon is how many people I meet. I've made some very good friends through Avon, mostly other moms, so they can relate to so many other areas of life besides Avon.

I know women who were able to quit their jobs and become full time Avon Reps within 6 months. My goal is to be self-employed completely with Avon but currently it is a way to earn suplimental income.

There are also the opportunities for scholorships and health insurance for Avon representatives and their families.

I'd check it out or contact me with any questions. ____@____.com or www.youravon.com/jhegna.

Best of luck.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Who will watch your boys while you work?

Well if they want you to work they need to help you with childcare for your boys.

Your husband needs to give you an exact work shift you are able to work. You need to have a work availability that is consistant or jobs won't hire you. You need to have some sort of availablitity for the employer like you can work nights or weekends whatever, if you husband can't give you that you can't really find a job.

I'm a single mom and have actually dumped boyfriends because either they or their parents are obsessed with my income, jobs, or work schedule. It's their way of saying their paranoid I'm gonna use their son for his money and be lazy. So I'm totally upfront about my situation with guys I date. I tell them my child and any future children we may have together are the more important than some job. I am old fashioned think mom's should be at home raising their children and taking care of the home but understand the need for 2 incomes these days and am willing to work but not fulltime if small children are involved. They either accept who I am or they don't.

My guess if his parents are nagging which just wrong it's not their marriage is they feel your being lazy or sitting on your dead butt. I'm not saying you are but you know how inlaws can be. I personally think you should stay home with your boys. They're all so little.

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C.M.

answers from Sioux City on

there are things out there that you can do to make money from home. I can give you that information if you want it. I searched for over a year to find things to do from home, I work with a place that I bid on jobs that I want to do, I also have a home based business. There are many ideas out there including myster shopping(do not pay for this)....
I hope this helps, there are many idea's out there so don't stress out about it.
feel free to contact me

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R.S.

answers from Appleton on

A.,
I have the most amazing opportunity to tell you about! You can work your own hours, you are your own boss, you make a resonable income, earn free products, free trips, pride of owning your own business, and many other incentives including flexibility like it sounds you are looking for!

Have you ever heard of The Pampered Chef? I am an Independent Consultant, and I love being my own boss. The company provides amazing marketing materials, so you don't have to stress over any "corporate bologna" (hehe), you report to yourself, you get a raise after your first $15,000 in career sales, which I just achieved yesterday--1 yr from when I started, and I only do this part-time right now. The Pampered Chef is all about helping people Live their Dreams, and I definately am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I think you would enjoy the pride of being a part of this amazaing opportunity. Please feel free to contact me anytime, I would love share my story about why I started this and help you by answering any questions you have!

R. Schwandt
Independent Consultant
Neenah, WI 54956
www.pamperedchef.biz/roxanneschwandt
____@____.com
###-###-####

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi

My boys are around the same age so I know what its like to be home with them no matter how much you want to! Im lucky in that my husband doesn't pressure me to work but I wanted to do something for my own sanity.

it seemed impossible between his schedule, the kids schedule and everything else (one of my boys is on the autism spectrum and also bipolar so life is hectic) . How often do they get sick and who stays home ???

Anyways, I've joined a minnesota direct sales company and it's working well for me - they are called Daisy Blue Naturals and i can honestly say it's keeping me sane. I can organize my own schedule so it works with my husbands (he travels alot). I do occassionally use a sitter but its rare. I can plan things in advance so its not neccessary. I do alot of my work from home via phone and email

I also know alot of people in similar situations - some can be found on http://www.metromomsinbusiness.com . Check it out if it sounds like it could work for you. I'm on there but others too.

Wish you all the best !!!!

J.

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C.H.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Have you found anything yet? I just thought I would let you know that I will keep you in my prayers that the issue resolves for you. Significant others and relatives can be very convincing regarding the need for a second income. In order to decide if that step is even right for you, consider all of the expenses you have while working not just the daycare, but including wardrobe for work, travel expense, meals, etc. I hope you have had luck in your search. I am a part time Latasia Jewelry Designer and enjoy it, because I found what was right for me. Even if you have found something, keep your eyes and ears open for the right opportunity that you would really enjoy. GOOD LUCK!
C. Louise H. - Latasia Jewelry Designer

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