"He Just Doesn't Want to Go Potty!"

You know I guess I just dont agree with making a big deal out of how smelly poop is. I tend to think it is degrading to insult a bodily function and to make a child think that something to do with their body is gross. Each child is different, eventually they will learn. How many adults still dont use the potty? It eventually will happen but for my kids I took the positive approach and started when they were young, whenever I used the potty I would praise myself saying that "mommy was a good girl" etc... eventually they wanted to get the same praise so I never focused on the negative only the positive. It worked for my three.

My son is 2 1/2 and is completely potty trained. One of the things that we did was we had a "potty party." We talked about it beforehand and prepared for it. What a potty party is is a celebration of no more pull ups - only underwear and using the potty. We got a cake, balloons, and invited a few friends and family who brought "big boy" gifts such as underwear and toys. Then we ceremoniously threw out all of the pull-ups we had left (actually we just bagged them up in a trash bag and put them in the garage, but he thinks we threw them away). No pull-ups in the house means no more diapers for him! He was excited about it because we were excited about it. We had a couple of tough days while he was learning, but he didn't approach it any other way than "This is where you go now." We didn't look back or put him in anything other than underwear (because we didn't have anything else - even at night). He'll get it - you just have to make up your mind that your going to see it through come hell or highwater!
We also made such a huge deal out of any time he went in the potty. We clapped and hurrayed and called Granny and his Aunt and Uncle, we took his picture - I mean we made a big deal of how big he was and how he could do it! His dad was instrumental in teaching him to poop on the potty by modeling it for him too. When he had an accident, we made him help clean it up, change himself, clean himself, etc, and emphasized that the potty is where the pee pees and poo poos go, not in the underwear or on the floor, etc. We limited his drinking after about 6:00 and had him go right before climbing into bed at night. For the first few weeks, we woke him up about 20 minutes before his normal time to sit him on the potty. Sometimes he went back to bed, others he didn't but at least we helped with the first-thing-in-the-morning accidents.

I agree with Rachel... my daughter is about to be three and has been 'ready' for a while... but she just didn't WANT to... so then I started saying things like..."oohhh who stinks??" and I would make gagging noises when I would change her (sometimes I would REALLY gag). At first she thought it was funny... but then she started to get embarrased... so now she poo poos in the potty but still tee tees in her pull up (not all the time but not in the potty enough to say that she is trained). It was the only thing that worked!!!

You know there is always a lot of advice and I always say take what works for you, and remember you know your sone better than any of us. My son was EXACTLY the same way and it was bc he was scared and it did actually hurt him to go. (It is common for constipation to occur bc they hol dit bc they are scared and don't want to go.) The best advice I got about this was from a Pediatric Nurse - she said just keep trying with him, BE PATIENT and he will do it. Our son did not start regularly going until he was 4 and now it is no big deal. I know being patient isn't the easiest thing and people will tell you things to force the outcome, but possibly if you just de-stress about it and trust he will do this (which he will!) and keep working with him he will start going. When we tried to force the issue he resisted (that is human nature) - we talked to him about it a lot, took theadvice of our doctor as to how we talked to him. It is too long to type but check out Texas Children's Pediatrics website - ther eis TONS of useful info there. Good luck and just trust he will do this, they all do - there are no 30 year old men in diapers at my office ;0)

Don't worry! I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter that was potty trained on her second birthday. About 2 weeks after her second birthday she quit. I can not get her to use the potty. My oldest daughter was right at 3 when she finaly started going to potty. Almost 4 when she was completely trained. I wish you the best. A.

My son was like that, I got so sick of the fighting. I just left him in diapers and would complaint everytime I had to change it about how bad it smelled. He finally became aware of it and decided that he didnt like the diaper either and decided to use the potty himself. Boys are really just "little men" they tend to do things when they are ready to:)

I am a mother of two boys and one girl. the potty bit was hard for us to but once daddy showed that is what he dose that made it easyer for the boys. Most boys want to be like daddy.

i understand your problem.. my son was the exact same way.. i still today have problems with my son going to the bathroom for a bal movement.. he holds it in then he dont want to push it out cause it is so big that it hurts him, but we are making progress with that.. but what i did to get him to go to the potty is i put my son in underware ( i also let him pick them out at the store) and if he peed in them i made him sit in it for a few mins ( i felt so bad but after 3 or 4 times he did not like the wet feeling) then i made him rinse them out in the toilet or tub and i dod the same thing when he had a bal movement and after a few days he was then telling me he had to go to the bathroom...i also want you to know that he did not start going to the potty til he was 4 years and 2 months and he is only five now and will be six in feb so i completely understand it is so frustrating but pray also and god will give you the strength to get through it

hi A.
have you tried letting him take his pooty some where else but the bath room. i know alot of kids are afraid of the bath room. what i did with my daughter is let her take her potty all over the house. i let her sit her in front of the t.v while she was watching cartoons or when i was cooking she would let her sit her pooty car in there with me basically i was getting her get use the sitting to on it. or maybe he's scared to go because it hurts him to go. when my daughter was like that i gave her nothing but apple juice or grape juice the frozen kind the kind you have to a wate to it. and it helped alot and she was potty trained in a week. good luck

A.~

I am so relieved to see that someone else is having the same problem we are! My oldest will turn 3 in December, and he is all about throwing a tantrum for the potty. All we do is repeatedly offer it, but we don't force it! If he does sit on it (and that is the HUGE first step) I usually just try to get him to stay there as long as possible, in hopes that he will go! :sigh: I can totally understand your frusteration. But I don't really think there is a whole lot we can do. I tried the undies - he didn't care at all about getting them wet. We even praise him for TRYing. Good luck - if I figure out any genius plan, I'll let ya know!

I know this sounds weird, but have you ever thought of having him go the same time his daddy does? My mom did that with my brother because he had the same phobia, but then once he saw that it didn't hurt daddy, then he decided to give it a try, and from then on he was completely potty trained. I plan on using that technique with my son once the time rolls around...but he is only 11 months right now.