Having Twins - Arlington,TX

I think that they don't find anything WRONG with having twins... they are just imagining the amount of work that comes with taking care of TWO newborns instead of just one! If it's a first time mother, they don't know what to expect so ONE baby is daunting enough. If it's someone who already has kids, they KNOW what to expect, so they know how much work it will be. I wouldn't take it personally. If someone says it and you are around, you could just interject with "Well, when there's twice the babies, there's twice the love!"

Personally, I can't wait to get my set of twins!!! LOL! They run very strong in my family, and my generation is due to have a set... I'm hoping I'm the lucky one to get them! Hee hee hee.

My friend was pregnant with twins and I made the mistake of saying, "That would be my worst nightmare." I didn't realize how insensitive it sounded, until it came out. I mean, it's true. I hate being pregnant, so I can't imagine two in there...and I don't particularly love the newborn stage, so I can't imagine doubling that. However, I've learned to keep my mouth shut, because for many people it's a dream!! Obviously, I would find any baby a blessing, so after an initial melt down, I would count my lucky stars. I get a ton of negative comments about having an only child, and if I'm going to try for a girl. It think one person's dream, will often times be something another person can't imagine. We just all need to learn to not be so vocal about it, that's all.

There is nothing wrong with having twins, I think they're adorable and always get double takes because people find them fascinating. However my first baby girl was a preemie and I can tell you that was the hardest, darkest period of my life, her first six months. when I got pregnant with my second baby people would tell me, how cute would it be if you had twins, I honestly answered: Dear God no, I couldn't handle that. and it was the honest truth, I could never handle twins. It has nothing to do with your precious babies, it has to do with my own inner strengh, I don't think I would be a good mom of twins. The comment says more about the person than about your children.

I really don't think they're trying to offend you, it's just too overwhelming for some people to even think they have to deal with two newborns. And that's the part I would be scared about too the newborn phase and maybe toddlerhood, the rest would be awesome.

If any of my own pregnancies were twins, I would have been totally overwhelmed and not in a good way. Babies are blessings, but two at once would have killed us financially. There is no way we could have afforded daycare for two infants, and we desperately need both of our incomes. I think that when people say things like "one at a time is enough for me!" they are thinking in terms of finances. I am friends with three couples who have twins - two sets were totally unexpected and in both cases, one spouse ended up working 2nd shift and both ended up in housing crises because they didn't have the room for two more babies (both families already had one child). One family ended up renting their condo to family while renting an apartment for themselves somewhere else and eventually sold at a loss and the other friends ended up short selling their house. In the other family, twins were expected because they were using IVF and a gestational carrier (me, actually) but even that couple ended up having one spouse change jobs and work odd hours to minimize childcare expenses.

I don't think that anyone who admits that they are prepared for only one at a time means to be insulting, they are just acknowledging that for them, twins would be way more than they were prepared to have.

Having twins is wonderful. I dont think anyone views having twins as a problem, i think they are just thinking outloud that it could be more than they could handle. It can be a lot of work but its all worth it

maybe they're just asking you IF you'd just like one.
it's not necessary to look for insult. often there's none intended.
khairete
S.

I have twin boys who will be six in June...I have heard that many times what you are describing...I have never felt offended by it because I don't think the intent is really hostile...usually I just agree with them that it is a lot of work and sometimes that old saying "double trouble" can be pretty accurate when describing twins....so I guess my recommendation is to lighten up and don't take the comments so seriously :-)

My twins are 2.5. As you've found out, some people just don't know what to say. I consider my boys to be a huge blessing, and #3 is due in July. I'll admit, though, there are days where I wish I could trade them in! All kidding aside, not everyone could handle having twins, and it's a good thing not everyone has them!

I think people are just find the idea of two babies overwhelming especially if they felt that one was. They just see twice the work and not twice the fun. I don't have twins and admit to being scared of the idea of having them but also think that it could be a lot of fun.

I don't know about anyone else, but having one baby (my first) was the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life!!! That first year was so hard! I couldn't imagine have more than one. Now, not every baby is the same, and my second baby was so much easier. It might be their dispositions, it might be that I have more confidence or am more relaxed or we owned a home (and didn't live with a friend) or I was closer to family and starting to make friends. Probably a combination of all of those. All I know is, the idea of carrying twins scared the bejeebers out of me.

I am in awe of moms of multiples!!! I supposed a part of me feels like I would never be up to the challenge. Often times when we feel insecure about something, we unintentionally say things poorly and it makes it sound like we are superior.

Try not to worry to much about those types of comments. Just keep loving your kids. I'm sure you're an awesome mom!

I agree with S.S. I would love to have twins and have a good chance at it. I think people just say that because they always think of the extra work, love and money it takes for two instead of one. I really don't think they say it to be mean. I would just hold your head high and know that you survived not one, but two babies.

Really any baby 1, 2, 3 or more are always a blessing.

i would LOVE to have twins! i always wanted them and i would say everyday i was pregnant, "please let it be twins." even with the ultrasounds, i was hoping they were missing one somewhere :). but, they weren't. i have 2 kids now. a 4 & 6yo. i have no plans to have any more, but if God blessed me with getting pregnant, i would definitely be praying for twins!