Having to Put down Pet

Updated on December 09, 2008
K.H. asks from West Lafayette, IN
6 answers

Moms...we are considering having to put down our wonderful almost-14 year old labrador. He is having trouble breathing, walking, can't see or hear well, has accidents and now lives in the garage...and now has a potentially cancerous lump. The question is what to tell the kids...and should they be present? I have heard arguments both ways (circle of life, kids for generations were exposed to death and now we "whitewash" everything, but also don't scare/traumatize them, etc). Anyone else been there? Thanks! Our last two pets died quitetly at home of old age, so this is new.

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M.M.

answers from Denver on

Hello,

I'm so sorry for your loss. The loss of a pet can be just like loosing a person. I have had many many pets die and have to put many to sleep . It is in my opinion that You and your husband should be present at the time of your Dogs death to help your dog to the other side but I would advise not have the children present as it can be traumatizing to watch them stick the needle in the dog and the drugs do not always take on the 1st shot I recently had a yourkie full of cancer that had to have 4 separate shots before succumbing to the medicine and it was very hard to watch. I would not have a problem though If your children came in to see the dog before and after. To say goodbye if you wish. I also recently had to take our 20 yr old can in and my 4 year old daughter got to say goodbye to the Kitty and drop her off but not watch the procedure as I feel it is too violent. I also recently had 2 parrots die of old age one was 30 and one was 9 both had outlived their expected life cycle. My daughter was very happy to hold them gently after they had passed.

Again I am sorry for your loss

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A.R.

answers from Denver on

I went through this with my oldest and a cat. In my opinion, especially at your kids age, telling them as much of the truth as possible is the right thing to do. Depending on your beliefs, you could tell them that your dog is very sick and is suffering and that he can't get better. That you need to help him go to heaven(or wherever) so he can be healthy and happy again. Acknowledge how sad it is, but that he will always be in your hearts etc etc... Perhaps afterwards make a plaque or something to remember him by and put it up somewhere inside or out so they have a place to visit if they are sad. As for going with you to have it done, I am strongly against this. It is a grown up matter. It could be very traumatic for them. I know it was for me and I am an adult. I am so sorry for your situation and applaud you for such a tough decision. Best of luck.

A.

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A.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi Karen,

First, so sorry your family is going through this, we had to put our dog down a few years ago and it is very hard. I agree with a couple of the other posts, be as honest as possible with your kids, (I have a 7 and 10 year old boy) and so I think they would understand. However, I think you should say your good-byes at home and not take the kids with you. We, like you didn't feel we had a choice because our 13 year old dog had diabetes and he was suffering. My kids were younger than yours, but we just said our good-byes at home. They drew a picture of "Dante" and then my mom came over to watch them while my husband and I took him to the vet. It was so h*** o* us and when we went home my mom had printed out, "The Rainbow Bridge" and we read it and cried some more. Good Luck and I am sorry for your loss!

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P.L.

answers from Denver on

Hi. My brother and father had to put down our Black Lab a long time ago and all I remember them telling me was how horrible it was to watch our family dog of 14 years being put down. They said Shadow as groaning and breathing heavily. I just don't think it would be a good environment for children considering my family's experience. My dad and brother were on the verge of crying it was so sad.

I personally would think of the impact this might have on your children. Maybe have a little goodbye gathering at your house before you take it to the vet to put be put down. That way the children can say their goodbyes and you can spare them the trauma of seeing their family pet pass away. It's sad to have to put down a pet I know, but there comes a time when it has to be done. My family dog has a HUGE lump, could barely walk, had to be carried outside to go the bathroom and was just lifeless a lot of the times. It was sad, but we know that we wouldn't want to suffer like that and they'll eventually be at peace and not suffering anymore.

Good luck!
P.

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A.

answers from Denver on

I am wondering why he has been cast to live in the garage if he is such a wonderful pet? for his sake I hope your garage is heated and cushioned.

my dog is elderly. he's been with me since 7 weeks. his body and mind are not what they used to be. however he clearly still has his spark and is not ready to go. he has physical limitations now, so I adjusted my lifestyle to accommodate. he has been by my side through thick and thin for all these years. moving my bedroom to eliminate stairs for him was the least I could do. he's a big dog and he sleeps a lot. sometimes he leaks in his sleep. I bought a carpet cleaner and am considering a baby crib mattress for him, as he doesn't curl up to sleep so much anymore. we have long stretches of lying together on the floor talking about the fun we've had over our life. each night I know he may not be with me in the morning. I want him to know how integral he has been every day we have shared.

my dog has made my life bearable at worst, and delightful at best. I'm really okay spending a couple hundred bucks to make his daily life a little easier until his end. I waste so many bits of cash on little things I want. all he wants at this point is to be with me, and to not be sore when he moves his body. and poptarts. that's it. thats all he wants. and he never asks me to make it happen. so of course all I want is to keep him happy and comfy. he's my dog.

please bring your dog in from the garage. let his last days be filled with the love and comfort he had all the years prior. you know he is lying in there worrying how you all are getting along without him. when your vet euthanizes your dog, he will inject a sedative before he injects the euthanasia into your dog's vein. your faithful old dog will be gone in seconds. then your vet will listen for his heart to stop. most vets now opt to cremate.

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S.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi Karen,

If you are open to trying a few things first, I have some recommendations. About 2 1/2 years ago, we thought we would have to put down our then 13 year old lab mix. She could not get up and down and was in pain. I called my chiropractor and he recommended an animal chiropractor, Dr Andi Harper (Denver area) ###-###-####. The adjustment looked like hocus pocus, but within a few hours, Jesse was able to get up and down without any problems. We used to have her on Metacam back then because we knew she had some arthritis in her spine.

Through using doggy chiropractics and natural technologies from Nikken (magnetic/infrared pet pad and 2 bracelets connected as a necklace), Jesse has been doing great. She is now 15 1/2 and has a real zest for life. We go for walks almost everyday. She has a 14 year old "sister" who also does great. Animals can't have a placebo effect. Jesse is also a lumpy bumpy dog. We stopped aspirating the lumps a few years ago since I would not put her through chemo at this age. We stopped the Metacam a few years ago and just give her daily supplements of glucosamine.

Every once in a while one of the dogs will slip and knock something out of whack and every time, Dr. Andi (plus I use some additional Nikken technologies) gets them back to good.

Email me for more info or go to www.nikken.com/trost

I've read some testimonials on bladder control that was helped with the technologies too. Otherwise, I can put you in touch with a doggy acupressurist who will teach you how to do acupressure on your dog. There is a bladder meridian that you can work with your dog.

However, I know there comes a point when you will have to be kind and let go. I was present when we put our college dog down and it was a wonderful process. I just kept petting him and saying "I love you Sam" over and over so it would be the last thing he would hear. I was so glad I was there for him. It was a peaceful process. My kids are 9, 9 and 11 and I would not hesitate to have them present as well. It is a wonderful gift we can give to a suffering animal. While there will be lots of tears, I think it is important to talk openly about those things (versus the dog went away).

Please let me know if I can help you in any way. Do what you feel is best for the dog and your family. You know them best.

Good luck!
S.

p.s. There are some mobile vets that will come to your house to make it easier.

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