Having Problems with Toddler Sleeping Through the Night.

Updated on March 19, 2009
J.P. asks from Washington, NJ
11 answers

I am having problems with my 2 year old son sleeping through the night. This was not a problem before. He used to sleep beautifully through the night before. I tried to stop his naps thinking that he would sleep straight through the night. That didn't work. When he wakes up in the night a bunch of times, it is not pleasant. I find it hard to function the next day. He will scream and cry about 5 times in the night. No one in the house is getting a good nights rest. I don't know what to do because I am just so frustrated and tired. He used to sleep 12 hours straight through now I am lucky if he sleeps 9-10 hours and that is with getting up a bunch of times in the night. Any suggestions would be great!

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C.D.

answers from New York on

My son did this til he was 13 months old. Now he is better but we have some bad nights. We used a milder version of ferber method because we use a pacifier. It took about a week total but he wakes up less often. Let him cry and every 5 min just open the door and say shhhh or in my case I just gave him his pacifier back and he continued to cry but less time each night... Hope that helps a bit.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

We have chosen to do attachment parenting. A.T. Parenting is a method that is supposed to give our children confidence because they know you have always been there for him/her. This helps them to be strong independent adults. It takes a lot like sleeping with them when they feel a need for it. The children usually between 7-10 yr.s decide to sleep solely by themselves. This seems like an eternity when you as the adult aren't willing to try this method. My child is 6 and still wakes up once a night looking for me. I think it is possible we break our children by making them cry it out. Having cribs only came about very recently and in many countries whole families sleep together. Also there is no colic at all in these countries where people actually attend to there children's needs. Do check into that ear infection posibility but this is another side to your coin. Your child may be having night mares and is scared. I remember being scared to death as a child in bed alone and I was always a very shy unconfident kid. Much luck, parenting is a hard thing but just remember to love your child and all will be well in the end. -L.

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O.G.

answers from Albany on

Hello J., I agree with Hilary, when the child is overtired,it doesn't sleep well at night. There is a very good book Healthy sleep Habits,Happy child by Marc Weissbluth, he explains very well how to help a child to get good sleeping habits. He also advice for overtired kids to try earlier bedtime and of course healthy nap( for 2 y.o it's around 2 hours a day and night sleep around 11 hours, so total would be 13 hours) Maybe he needs longer bedtime ritual/soothing.. You didn't tell when you put him for night sleep ,but I would try put him earlier and also controlled morning awake( at about 7-7.30am) so that he could go to nap after 12-13. I moved my daughter to such schedule,it seems working good. She has bad night sleep,if we don't respect her schedule and let her stay to play longer. Good luck

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S.F.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter is 2 as well and starting waking up several times throughout the night several months ago. Getting her to go to bed (esp naps) is difficult. We ended up just going in her room at night if she didn't quiet herself down after a few minutes. (sometimes if we gave her 5-10 minutes before going in she would quiet herself and go back to sleep.) We didn't make a big deal of it. Just walked in and told her she needed to lay back down, we'd cover her up and rub her back for a few minutes then tell her that mommy/daddy (whoever was up) had to go back to bed now. Sometimes she would cry for a few minutes again but usually she would go back to sleep. We are probably 5 months into this and she is finally starting to sleep through the night again. She wakes up maybe twice a week now (once a night each time) but is slowly making it longer stretches of time w/o waking up. She still fights us going to sleep and for naps though. I wish I had advice to give but I thought I would let you know that we're going through it too and it will pass-hopefully soon.
Oh an after thought-maybe it's an ear infection...that is when my daughter started waking up (when she had one) and she just continued after it was taken care of. laying down aggravates ear infections. A possibility?

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P.R.

answers from New York on

Start having an event like playdate or take him to the library. Do this after his nap this will take care of the night. Also talk him before he sleeps ,may be he is scared of something .I kept telling my girl that she'll be dreaming about all nice things.Also i put a pillow next to her which she likes to hold while sleeping. Try whatever makes your kid happy.

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K.R.

answers from New York on

Could be a separation thing. Could also be he's learning something new right now so his brain is working overtime. Developmental milestones often mess with sleep. For separation, try leaving a shirt of yours in the bed near his head - one that you have worn and has your smell. Also, check out the book the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley - she has lots of tips to get your child back to sleeping better. (FYI, it's a different version that the regular No Cry Sleep Solution which worked wonders for me and my daughter when she was about 13 months).

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H.P.

answers from New York on

I know this sounds counterintuitive, but I find that when my kids take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, they also sleep better at night. I think when they don't nap, they get overtired and their sleep at night isn't as good.

Is he in a crib still? If so, you have to stop going in every time he cries or he'll just keep doing it. I find that if my boys (twins) get up in the middle of the night, I'll go to them the first night (b/c I'm worried they are sick or something since they usually sleep fine). But then once I do that, suddenly, the next night they'll also get up. And it just continues. So I have to lay down the law with them and tell them mommy isn't going to come in. If they do wake up and stand at the door crying, I just stand in my door and say "mama's here, go back to sleep." Sometimes they will cry for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes I repeat that I'm here and go back to bed and they usually do.

And once they go back to bed, I don't have any problems with them for months until the next time they get up for a legitimate reason....

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Depending on how old your son is, it could be second year molars. I liked the suggestion from the mom who said you can let him know you're there, but not go in. My son does the same thing, but just once a night. I'm such a sucker, and love cuddling with him, so I go in and get him, and bring him into my bed. But on occasion, my husband will go in and tell him to go back to sleep--he does, right away.

I would keep the naps, as they do seem to sleep better at night when they take naps, for some reason. I would also try to give motrin one night before bed--if it is the molars, that should help. If you've tried that and he still keeps waking, but doesn't seem to be in pain, or need to have a diaper changed, maybe you could try just telling him to go back to sleep?

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H.P.

answers from New York on

My son is 21 months old and is doing the same thing. He started sleeping throught the night, 12 hours, at 2 months. About 2 months ago he started waking up at night, 1-3 times. At first I was going in and rocking him, but it would take 20 mins to get him back to sleep. After about 2 weeks, I eventually started going in and telling him to lay down, then I would rub his back and he would go back to sleep. My problem is that this has been going on for 2 months now and I am getting frustrated. Part of me feels like this is what he needs right now and I am only in his room 2-3 minutes each time I go in, but the other side of me wonders if the behavior will go away sooner if I let him cry it out. I go back and forth, my husband, mother and pediatrician all say cry it out. I hate the thought of it, but I am almost ready to try. Let me know if you have any luck.

H.

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J.G.

answers from Rochester on

my daughter would get night terrors if she wasn't getting enough sleep. She would wake up screaming and couldn't be comforted and it happened a few times a night. After that happened a few time resulting in a call to the dr in the middle of the night, because she was so out of it, I made sure that she was getting a good 1.5-2.5 hrs to rest or sleep during the day and it got better fast.
She sleeps 11-12 hrs at night and a solid 2hrs during the day.
I would do a "naptime" even if he is just resting.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

i wish i had advice for you, my son who is 20 months old is doing the same. I think he's either having nightmares or a separation problem from me. needless to say, i go in an shush him to sleep.some nights i have just let him cry and after 5 minutes he'll usualy go back to sleep. its a rough situation, but rest assured you're not the only one out there not sleeping :)

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