Having Baby #2 and Need Help Getting 2Yr Old Involved

When i was coming up to the next baby, whichever number, I included the older child in many different ways. Allow Gia to go with you for a sonogram, this makes the baby real. Allow Gia to pick out something special for the baby (blanket, bath set, something for the baby to cherish) Talk to her about the important job a big sister has (lil sis will look up to, ask advice of, etc) Start a special collection of whatever...I have collected giraffes since I was 2, my daughter's have monkeys, elephants, unicorns....but continue that collection every birthday and/or Christmas/holiday, this way she knows she is special to you and because it is a recurring theme, she always is/will be. Good luck P.S. a big sister tshirt to wear the day the baby comes home helps too.

Hi -- My first two children were exactly 2 years apart. We got the older one a play baby to help her understand how to be gentle with the new baby. It sort of worked. At 2 it's hard for them to really comprehend things beforehand. When she came to the hospital to see me and the baby, I made sure I had a picture of her on the dresser and I also made sure when she was brought into the room I wasn't holding the baby. She really had no interest in the baby at the hospital. Then, once the baby came home, she was extremely jealous. It was like I betrayed her and she didn't come to me for things anymore. It was now daddy, daddy, daddy. That was fine for him but I was very upset and would cry. I knew it would pass though. I did have her hold the baby on the couch with pillows to support her arms and let her help with the bottles, get rattles, etc. I tried to include her in a lot. After the first month, things went more smoothly and she adjusted to having her new sister around. It takes time but be patient. Perhaps when the baby is napping, you can do something special with her to let her know how important she is also. Good luck and remember, you're not the only one going through this.

Hi N.,

I too have a two year old and am due to have my second in January. My daughter will be three in November though. I started from the very beginning talking to her about how exciting it is going to be a big sister. I have talked with her about how she can help me take care of the baby. I ask her if she wants to kiss my stomach to give her brother or sister a kiss. I ask her every day if it is going to be a boy or a girl. The answer changes daily. I have a couple of friends who just recently had babies, so I broght her to see them and had her hold them. I also took her to the hospital where I am going to deliver and sat through a sibling class. She got to "feed" and "change" her baby doll. She also will have to share her room with the new baby. She seems excited about the baby sleeping in her crib. She did get mad at me when I explained that the baby will sleep in mommy's room for a little bit when we bring (him/her) home. She really wants the baby in her room! We'll see how all this may or may not change when the baby does finally arrive! Good luck. You have plenty of time to prepare Gia. There are also plenty of books to read at the library as well.

M.

hi, you were asking about any books to help her prepare...there is a book (2 actually) from Joanna Cole, it's I'M A BIG SISTER (or BROTHER if you had a boy). There's also a series of New Baby books by Annie Kubler calls My New Baby...and it says that there's a series for that...here's the link to buy on amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Sister-Joanna-Cole/dp/068814...
if you scroll to the bottom of that page, there are a bunch of books that help with this situation.
as far as things to do to get her involved. you can have her help you shop for the baby. have her help pick out some outfits, some toys, etc. and maybe if the room is big enough, ask her how to rearrange her room to make some more room for her new baby brother/sister (you didn't quite specify which you were having). my friend has 2 kids that are only 1 1/2 yrs apart and her older one used to sit there and talk to her belly, and used to kiss and hug it too. funny thing is sometimes when he's lay right next to her belly and the baby would kick, he'd yell at her to tell the baby to stop kicking him. ah, the sibling rivalry started EARLY lol!
once the baby is born you can ask her to help you get bottles, wipes, diapers...and pick out the outfits. let her help you feed and bathe the baby (my mother had me get her the soap and washcloth and towels, and sit there with her while she would bathe my brother...i was 5). definitely let her hold the baby, just explain to her that the baby is very delicate, and she has to stay on the couch, chair, etc. to hold the baby until they are bigger. NEVER tell her no, you can't hold them, you'll hurt them...just explain why she can't do whatever it is that you're afraid will hurt the baby, and then show her the proper way to do whatever it is. the easiest way to make things worse is to push her away and not involve her...which i understand you're trying to avoid. and until the baby is born, go out and get her a doll...maybe have her pick the doll out. have it be her baby, and show her the things she will be doing with her new sibling once they are born. that SHOULD get her excited to have a sibling.
my mother had me help with everything when my brother was born (except the diapers, i refused to touch him when i could see the umbilical cord...i thought it was so gross! but being able to help with EVERYTHING we got along great...until he turned 2 and started talking and getting me in trouble lol).
i hope that this helps. Good luck, and CONGRATS on the new baby!

Get the I'm a Big Sister book. I received it as a gift when I was pregnant with #2 - my daugther was 2 at the time. I've seen it at Kmart, WalMart, etc. You can probably get it anywhere. I can't remember the name of the author - but it goes thru becoming a big sister. From how the baby is little and you can't hold the baby without asking mommy first, what it means when the baby cries, how important being the big sister is, etc. It talks about how important she is to Mommy & Daddy and how she used to be a baby like that. We read it so much that my daughter reads it to her baby brother. She actually can look at the pictures and know what words go with that page. Don't overanalyze the rest. It will all work out on it's own. She'll want to hold the baby and be involved - but it lasts for about 15 seconds and then she'll be on to something else. My son is now 7 months and my daughter (just turned 3) still helps with him - she picks out his diaper and she closes his door when it's time for bed. Makes her feel super important. She now even defends him - sometimes he gets a hold of her hair and gives it a good yank. She just says that "he's just a baby and that he no understand." We tell her that that used to be her swing and her bouncy seat and her saucer. She feels like she's being a big help by letting her brother use her stuff. Don't stress it - it all comes pretty natural. Good luck!

N.,

I just had my second baby and my 1st daughter is 3. When we got pregnant for the second time we actually told her about the baby from the start and used to talk to her about being a big sister and how her little sibling is going to look up to her for everything. She was all excited about being a little mommy to our new baby tobe which she refers as 'her baby'. Get Gia a baby doll and play with her like its a real baby. You can also try taking her to meet your friends who have more than one kid or you can take her to any of gia's friends house where there is more than one kid. This will give her an idea about the fun sides of having a sibling... like playing together... sharing stuffs... etc etc.. My daughter loves her lil sister and she is all excited when I ask her to help me to take care of the baby by getting me the diaper, lotions or even a towel to dry baby after the bath... Get her involved in everything. Show her the sonogram pictures and get it framed on a place where she can see.

Good Luck!!

N.,

Congrats on number two!!! I am in the same position my daughter Laila will be two in Jan and I am due in Feb. I really don't have a problem with Laila yet. I have been taking her to the doctors with me for the heartbeats and sonograms. My husband and I always say you want to feel mommies belly and the baby and she goes with it sometimes. I spend alot of time with my daughter on weekends because I unfortunately have to work a mid shift to make more than enough to make it so I really don't see my daughter much during the day. Honestly my daughter is all about her but yet again she has alot of smaller cousins that are babies and seems good I am only worried when baby comes and the baby doesn't go away then we may have some questions.

It will get better..don't worry your not alone

Hi N.,

I actually had a very similar situation to you. My daughter was the center for about 2 years and then a new baby was coming into the picture. They current share the same room. I used to tell her things like the is her baby too and she needs to help mommy take care of the baby. I used that time to transition her from the crib to a toddler bed. I told my daughter that we were going to bye her her very own special bed and maybe ask her what colors she would like for her bedding and then ask her what colors she thinks the baby would like. Just keep getting her used to the idea that this is her baby too and she needs to help you take care of him/her. Hope this helps.

A. - mother of 3 year old daughter and soon to be 1 year old son.