Having Another Baby? - Mount Pleasant,PA

Updated on June 19, 2010
T.Q. asks from Mount Pleasant, PA
13 answers

My boyfriend and I are planning on getting married in December of this year, we have been together for 3 years. Together we have 6 kids, he has 2 and I have 4....Ranging from 4 to 17 years of age. I am going to be 40 next year....My question is....He has been hinting around about having another baby and I am not sure I even want to go through that again. He has said that he is okay with not having another one because he want to be with me. My problem is.....I feel like I am holding him back and I don't know what to do or even how to handle it???? Any suggestions, advice??

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers


answers from Phoenix on

My opinion is that blended families are hard enough without adding an additional child. I am married and he has a special needs daughter (14) and I have a 10 and 7 yo. I would have liked to have had another child with him but decided against it for several reasons. I think you are both blessed to each have children and should focus on raising them the best you can so they all have happy and fulfilled lives. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers


answers from Los Angeles on

you said you were not sure if you want to go through that again. Lets pretend you didn't feel like you were holding him back, what are your true thoughts and feelings about it. You need to explore that. =)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Harrisburg on

You're 40 and when you're married you all will have 6, count 'em SIX, children. I think you have your answer. I think you all have been more than blessed and should focus on being the best parents and step parents to the SIX children you all already have.

K. B, age 44
mom to 5 including triplets
(ages 23, 15, and 5.5 trips - we're done!)

events and chat within 2 hour radius

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Allentown on

Hi, T.:

Come out and ask him if he wants another baby.

If he does want another baby and you don't, there is a problem.
If he does want another baby, what is the reason? Does he want to keep you pregnant and bare foot? After marriage, relationships change. How will they change for you and him?
What about the 6 children you already have? What has been planned for them for their future?
Having all this responsibility, when will you all have time for each other?

Just want to know.
Good luck.



answers from Philadelphia on

It sounds like the brady bunch. May be he wants to have a child with you that is why he is hinting around about it? Do his kids live with you also? You also have to think if you can deal with another kid at this point in your life. I am 41 and have a son who will be three next month. I do not have the energy that I used to. I am happy with my one child. I think a big part of it is the lack of energy and the bigger thing is they worry about having a child that could have birth defect because I am over 40 so the chances are even higher of birth defects. May be babysit someones newborn when he is there with the other kids and see if it is still something he stills feels strongly about. Sometimes the idea is nice but it is really different when it is actually happening. Good luck



answers from Dallas on

Well if it was the other way around and it was him who didn't want another baby everyone would probably tell you to wait or give up on the idea altogether. I don't think men stop and think they're holding us back when they're not giving us another baby so you shouldn't feel that way.
Pregnancy is very hard on our bodies and if you do it just to please him it's just not fair to you. If you don't want another child don't put yourself through another pregnancy and childbirth; now if you are undecided about it just make a list on the pros and cons of having another. also search within your heart, wha do you want? can you handle another child besides the ones you have right now? my personal opinion is to wait but if you can handle 6 you can def handle 7.
Good luck!
**added** I didn't even take your age into consideration because it's so common now for women to be pregnant after 35 that I do not think that your age should deter you**



answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm all for "mature" moms (I was 39 when I had my baby) but I think a blended family of 8 people might be enough of a challenge for me. But that's me. JMO. Good luck!



answers from Minneapolis on

I understand - it's kind of a "yours, mine . . . but now he wants the ours" situation :) Have you considered adoption? I mention it because having a baby now would create quite the age spread between oldest and youngest (not that it's a bad thing - the spread between my 6 is 9 - 22, just something to think about). If you adopted, you could consider adopting a child closer to your younger children's ages. That way, you are still adding your "own" child, but not extending the number of child rearing years. I must say, that being a parent for 22 years now and still having 9 years to go (at a minimum) seems like a daunting task some days!

Good luck!



answers from Miami on

I'm not going to give advice about whether to have another baby or not but I am going to tell you to figure it out BEFORE the weddding. It is not fair to marry someone with false intentions about whether or not you will have children together. Since you have some time before your wedding, consider getting some premarital counseling before you say your vows and make sure that you are both comfortable with whatever decision. Otherwise, if you can't come up with a compromise on this one, you might want to call off the wedding.

My best wishes - C.



answers from Oklahoma City on

I think that's awesome that he wants to have another one! I think it is something you both need to agree on before you get married. I think one together is a great idea! Your youngest is only 4 thats not a huge gap.



answers from Harrisburg on

6 healthy kids, thats already a lot of mouths to feed. I would stick to that and count your blessings.



answers from Pittsburgh on

This is your fiancé and your desicion! Nobody can tell you what to do. (Please don't pay any attention to those telling you "NO" or "yes" for that matter.) This has to be both of your decision...you definately need to discuss it with each other (sooner than later). Good luck!



answers from Pittsburgh on

babies are the best and you know once you are pregnant you wouldnt have wanted it any other way, plus this would be your child together and i am sure since you have 6 what is one more!!!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions